A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For the past few months I've really been into this boy I met. We're both in the same major at the same school, but he's a year older. His girlfriend broke up with him at the beginning of the year and as of now they're best friends still and she has a new boyfriend. I feel like he still likes her, but that whole situation confuses me. Anyway, we've hooked up a few times and I spent the night at his apartment once (we didn't do anything but kiss). But after both times we hooked up he texted me and basically told me that he was sorry for leading me on. I know he doesn't really have feelings for me and that the second time he just used me because he was lonely. Basically, he treats me pretty badly but he's sweet about it if that makes sense. I feel like if we were actually dating he could be the sweetest boyfriend ever so I'm afraid to give up on him. I don't want to be dramatic, but I think I'm in love with him. I don't know how to explain why, but I just think that I am. Am I crazy? Also, we're friends. Kinda. We talk if we see each other and text occasionally but if something bad happened or I needed someone to talk to I wouldn't go to him. But I want to get to that point with him. But he doesn't seem to care to be close with me (which is a bad sign, but I feel like there's still hope)I really like this kid and I don't want to give him up. I know he could be an amazing friend and boyfriend. Am I just being ridiculous? Should I keep trying? Thanks!
View related questions:
best friend, broke up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 December 2012):
 You write: "Basically, he treats me pretty badly but he's sweet about it if that makes sense...."
You may STOP there..... It DOESN'T make sense.... so all the rest of your submittal, which really asks the Aunts and Uncles to validate his boorish behaviour (and your reaction to it) doesn't count....
Dump him....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 December 2012):
 yeah I think you are pipe dreaming.
he's using you
he's not over his ex
he treats you badly but sugar coats it so you keep giving it up for him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Freckletone +, writes (19 December 2012):
He is just using you for sex if anything. He already told you he was sorry for leading you on which is the hint for not wanting anything serious with you. I feel you should just stop having sex with him, kissing him, or have any physical contact with him and then you will see if he is actually interested in being in a relationship with you. What you feel for him is lust not love. You should definately move on and stop wasting your time on him because obviously he wants nothing to do with you. Dont feel obligated to be with him only becacuse he is a nice guy or because you guys had sex already let it go and maybe if he actually feels something for you he will seek out for you not only for sex or because he feels lonely but maybe for a date. BTW has he taken you out on a date?
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (19 December 2012):
 It sounds as if he really never got over his girlfriend. I see that they're best friends and she has a boyfriend, which isn't easy for him. I suppose he sees it as friends is better than not having her in his life at all.
He uses you for hooking up and you want to be with him? The guy has no feeling or attachment to you! How is he going to make a good boyfriend when he's a crappy friend??!! He has no remorse for leading you on and using you for his own selfish needs. What an awesome potential boyfriend! No.
You're very mislead at where you think this can go..the thing is it's not going to go anywhere because he's not over her. To him the only thing you are good for is a hookup. Don't settle for that. Let it be with him.
...............................
|
