A
female
age
30-35,
*MMand
writes:been with fiancee for almost 3 years. i had him wait to have sex for 8months when i decided to loose my virginity. i know how he use to be in the past he would have sex with every girl he met. we got together and that all changed it was jsut me he wanted but i wouldnt. 8 months went by and i let him for a while sex was great but slowly its going down hill. he doesnt want sex anymore unless when he wants it. he doesnt foreplay anymore. ever since i asked if we could have a baby. he said well we are trying but leave me alone about it. :/ its upsetting. when i want sex he says no but when he wants it i give it to hime but there is a few time i say no and he gets mad. he only last 5 secondds and i give him about 5 mins of attention. what do i do about all this and how do i make him last longer? im so confused. i get the feeling of not even having sex anymore. i want it but my mind tells me other wise? could someone help out some kinda of way. thanks
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fiance, foreplay, last longer Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 December 2012):
 We guys are funny creatures. WE LOVE the chase of a virgin girl.... and are ecstatic when we pluck her virginity from her.....
BUT, we have short memories.... fleeting loyalties.... and strong desires to go out and bed another girl (especially a virgin!), once we've had one such success...
YOUR choices are clear: Either spend time with this guy who is behaving classically boorish, and hope/dream that he will "change" and become that "Prince Charming" that you crave to meet..... OR, face reality, and resign yourself that you were another "notch" on his belt or bedpost... and he's done with you (WITHOUT any remorse on his part, incidentally!)..... AND that the smartest thing that you can do is move on... chalk this up as a painful lesson in how guys behave... and watch out that you don't repeat this sequence, in the future....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 December 2012):
 I would also add that the chase is over and he doesn't want to keep his prize. There isn't good communication here. You are not connecting anymore after you ask him for reality for this relationship. There is nothing more real than the marriage and baby talk. He failed at that. I would suspect that he only got engaged with you to show he is "serious" because otherwise you would not have sex with him. Your relationship lasted for three years because he knows you are a gem and he doesn't want to lose you or have other guys have you. He needs a reason to end this. You are thinking, the relationship is good, it's getting serious, sex is good, so what is the problem here? Sex is now associated with reality and being chained down forever with responsibility. No wonder why he cant't enjoy sex anymore.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (23 December 2012):
When you first had sex it lasted longer and it was about intimacy and curiously sharing bodies and mind. Now it's about control and withholding as a form of punishment. For you it is about procreation also. I read that when a guy cums too fast when he's actually able to last longer, it can mean that he resents the woman and does not want to give her the pleasure. He doesn't sound like he wants a baby but is too afraid to express that he is not ready for one, or never wants one. It's even possible that he had said he wanted one then changed his mind when he sees the reality of fatherhood. You still want sex, but not with him anymore. You have to ask why you are still together when you are afraid to confront issues, maybe deep down you know that it can't be resolved. You can't force a man to want a baby.
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