A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models? I feel like I'm helpless, my ex made me feel like this. We were on about glamour modelling, he said something like do you think you could be one, you're just an ordinary person, how many people do you know who are glamourous enough? even though he is my ex I feel like nothing I could do could make me think I was something because I'm not as glamourous. I want to wear a dress at the pub but I know I will just look stupid like I tried to make an effort. Help!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 I'll give you REAL women with REAL disabilities and amazing presence: http://therawbeautyproject.com/index.html
Here's a woman with a wonderful take on life: http://melissabxoxo.blogspot.com/2012/12/disability-dish-how-one-project-helped.html
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): Ugh glamorous is just horrible, a horrible thought and word.
Glamorous is just a synonym for 'fake', 'overly done up' and 'overcompensating' in my eyes.
Glamorous is fine for film stars and other public personas at events that warrant that or in movies where they want to look hyperreal, when I see women who looks 'glamorous' on the street I think they look strange, a woman who goes shopping looking glamorous is overcompensating.
OP glamour model, porn stars, they're just women who dress up with the sole intention of being sex objects. They don't look beautiful, they just look like sex and frankly a cheap type of sex, I don't really find that sexy at all.
It's easy to look like a glamour model or por star OP, just throw on a load of fake tan, big fat fake lashes, wear a dress that literally covers nothing and heals so high you can't even walk and you're done.
OP true glamour is not cheap and glamour models and porn stars are not glamorous in the real sense. Angelina Jolie at a premier wearing a $100,000 dress and $200,000 worth of jewellery and hair and make up that cost $10,000 to get done is glamorous.
Do I ever feel bad because I'm not as beautiful as other people? Never in my life, it's a stupid notion in my mind. Why would I compare myself to others negatively? How others look doesn't bother me in any way. Comparing yourself to others is not a good way to live.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 December 2012):
Why are you still giving credence or weight to what your ex said? He said he was a realist, why can't you label him as being a jerk?
You're feeding your own negative image of yourself. Why?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): To be honest I didn't think I was that bad. I didn't think I was that ordinary. He said he was a realist. I expected him to think more of my looks, he has been using porn for 20+ years that explains it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): I always love to turn the tables. I would tell him the same thing that he is just an ordinary person and that he could never compare to the male glamour models or porn stars since he doesn't have the proper length in the equipment department let alone the energy and stamina to go on for hours like they do. Yes, I'd tell him that he is an ordinary man with an ordinary life. Nothing extraordinary. Then stretch your hands up in the air and yawn and look bored. Because honey, this man is a bore!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2012): Does your ex look like a Calvin Klein model or have rock hard six pack abs and look like a movie star? No? Then why does it matter to you that he compares you to porn star women?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 December 2012):
I'm a lot older than most glamour models and porn stars. I don't give a thought to what they look like. They are irrelevant to my life and my sense of self worth.
You feel small because you are allowing some odd standard of self-worth to determine yours. Why, I don't know. You'll have to figure it out.
Go to the gym and take up weightlifting. Not to grow giant muscles but to work on the most important 'muscle' in your body, your brain.
You need a good dose of endorphins and some positive physical experiences.
Stop looking at glamour models and avoid porn. I know the page 3 girls are there in the local press. Don't buy or read those papers, they are only good for lining the bird cage anyway.
Your ex may have been an idiot but you gave him the power over your self-esteem. No one can make you feel bad about yourseif without your permission. Don't give it to them any more.
Just decide that you are good enough, you are entitled to be happy and you deserve it. Then just start living that way. http://www.queenofyourownlife.com/tag/queenisms
If you are experiencing continuous negative thoughts then consider getting some treatment for it. I found a combination of yoga, walking and weight training more than sufficient to snap me out of my depression, after a little help from an antidepressant prescribed by an excellent doctor.
Think of it this way, the negative messages you keep telling yourself, would you accept them from a girlfriend? Of course you wouldn't. You'd drop her as a friend. So why then do you accept those negative messages from your mind? You don't have to. Drop the negative messaging 'friend' that lives in your mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Hahah babe, I used to feel this way, and I hit the gym, started to do my hair, my nails, just to make ME feel the best ME I could be. Then I saw "models" without make up and Photoshop, just google it.
I ASSURE YOU , EVEN WITHOUT MAKEUP AND JUST OUT OF BED , You are ten times more beautiful than these girls without the facade of make up, clothes, and PHOTOSHOP! :)
I was surprised to see the most "beautiful" models looked so gross withouht makeup!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Believe me,... if I let myself feel smaller and smaller as I got uglier and uglier - relative to glamourous models and porn stars.... you would need an expensive ELECTRON MICROSCOPE just to see me!!!!!
Good luck.....
P.S. I think you're cute... and I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN YOU!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): It can be easy to feel small sometimes, because these women seem to embody ultimate beauty to men. But as other users have stated, they don't look like that without the cameras.The makeup, spraytans, plastic surgery, lighting, and most importantly, the photoshop, create a woman who is physically unattainable. If you met the girl in person, she would still be attractive I'm sure. But the perfection presented in porn--for example, smooth, airbrushed skin, is not possible. She will have bad skin days, hair days, etc.What you have to understand, is underneath all that 'stuff' is a girl just like you. A girl who is afraid she wont measure up. Think about it. She's baring her body. But she is so easily replaced. There are thousands of girls out there. The industry is a cruel one.Look at what the user UnclePJ said. Yes, guys find them hot, but they dont want relationships with them. Its a fantasy. Its not real.However, glamour model or not, it is important as a woman to feel 'good.' This doesnt mean you need to get breast implants or hair extensions. It simply means, do what makes you feel good. Dont be afraid to be attractive. Girls spend hours getting ready for the club. Why would you look stupid?A guy will appreciate your effort for sure, but make sure he is a guy who appreciates you for you as well. It is important to feel attractive, but its also important to remember that who you are as a person is what decides your true value.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Hi
I know a couple of girls who did some Glamour modelling for a lads magazine. When I saw the photos I barely recognised them,by the time the hair,make-up,spray tan and ofcourse the air brushing had been done they looked totally different.They weren't slappers, they were ordinary girls who wanted to earn a few quid.But to appeal to the readers they had to look the part - for the photos.
As for women in porn you wouldn't want to look like or be them would you? No... and a man who would want their partner to be one is very,very rare indeed.
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A
male
reader, somewhere_between +, writes (18 December 2012):
 I feel small when I see porn films too. In fact very small compared to the size of those well hung guys lol. Ok, I`m lying, because basically I dont give a shit. I am also an ordinary person and quite at ease with that. Was it your ex`s comment or do you always feel like that? Why don`t you compare yourself with someone badly scarred or disabled instead of supermodels? Maybe then you could see how lucky you really are.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Your ex is an ass. I wish I could have helped you retort "and your dick is enough for you to do it?" With enough photoshop and makeup, anyone can look like anything. Those women are normal women, they look just like you and me without the heavy makeup and lighting. Don't let your idiot boyfriend dictate how you feel about yourself, I'm sure you would look amazing in whatever dress you're wanting to wear to the pub.You know what might be a fun primer, get dressed up in the most formal outfits you own with a friend and go get fast food. People will just assume you are going to an event and you'll get loads of fun attention.You won't look silly for making an effort. I make an effort every single day. It's my waking up routine to 15-20 minutes doing my makeup just right and it makes me feel good all day. People don't look at you and see the effort behind how you look, they see how you currently look. Just be careful not to overdo the makeup!
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (18 December 2012):
 You would not look stupid if you tried to make an effort, believe me. If you were going to compare yourself to any girl to feel attractive and everything, do not do so with a porn star or glamour model.
There are huge differences between ordinary girls like you and glamour models. Glamour models aren't completely glamorous in the same sense. The main difference is that they are willing to get there, usually surgically enhanced, assets out and you're not.
Which completely makes you the better person as you don't seem cheap or slutty. Guys watch porn for a quick fix and to just get off. But most,especially the proper down to earth guys, would never ever consider a relationship with one.
Given the choice between a porn star or someone like you, you'd win every time in the relationship stakes, maybe not the one night stand stakes but I'm sure you wouldn't want that as you're not that type of girl.
I'm exactly the same as most guys, I'd like to think anyway. I am an avid watcher of porn and tend to flick over to Babestation on a nightly basis, to 'get off'. Now I'd masturbate over these girls all day long but I probably wouldn't masturbate over an ordinary girl in this sort of situation. This is purely because they give us what in the few minutes we're feeling the need.
But for a relationship, my ideal girl won't have tattoos, extra piercings or have any plastic surgery or general fakery. I just want a nice, down to earth girl. Now this obviously is a complete contrast to those Babestation girls or porn stars in general.
So please don't feel that you're unattractive compared to those type of girls. This just means you are not a slut and in the general sense, you are much prettier, attractive and generally wholesome which makes you so much better. Your ex is an ex for a reason, because he obviously didn't appreciate you enough or deserve you. I hope this helps and makes you feel better, because it is true, I wish you all the luck in the world for your future.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Your ex did not make you feel like this. YOU allowed him to.
Own these feelings.
have you ever googled photoshopped models?
here check this one out: http://www.chilloutpoint.com/misc/celebrities-before-and-after-photoshop.html
NO one looks as good in real life as they do in photos... not even Posh Spice....
as far as what you wear:
Before I met my current husband I was a jeans and tee shirt kind of woman. makeup was for the most part special event kind of stuff and dressing up also very special events only.
NOW, I wear what my new hubby likes... short skirts, boots, make up... hair done.... even on weekends to go to parties and stuff when everyone else is in jeans, I'll be in a dress or a skirt... it's what I'm comfy in.
Do not pretend to be something you are not but if you want to wear a dress or skirt to the PUB MAKE IT SO!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (18 December 2012):
 I feel small because I am. I know many beautiful people of all ages. They are not models or movie stars or sports players. They are just average people. In fact most of the people you will meet are just average people. That is the definition of average.
Do you honestly believe you are not attractive because you are not in the top 1%? Do you really not think that guys appreciate a woman who "makes an effort"?
Unless you have aspirations of becoming a trophy wife, they guys you want to meet will be happy to meet an average woman, who is confident and takes joy in life.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): Honey you can be as glamorous as you want. Kick him to the curb, you do not need negative people in your life.
Attempt to look the way you want.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 December 2012):
I certainly dont feel as glamorous as a pornstar, but Im a man so I guess thats a good thing.
All kidding aside, there are certain people I wouldnt mind being compared to - certain successful businessmen, philanthropists, etc. A pornstar is not someone that comes to mind as the bar that I want to be judged against. JMO.
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