A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What makes a person to change when you have just stayed together a month when you have dated for years? My friend has changed a lot and no longer makes love to me and now he even told me that I'm no longer beautiful the way I was when we met. What makes a person to be like that as we have dated for 6 years and just have lived together for a month, and now all of a sudden I'm no longer beautiful and I look old. I've sat down and talked to him but nothing has changed. What really happened? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): I have to agree with Sageoldguy, now that you're shacking up with him he has no incentive to sweet-talk you into bed. Since you are not married, he has no obligation and no commitment to you so it's easy for him to take you for granted and treat you like his live-in cook, housekeeper, maid, valet and unpaid whore.
If it's any consolation, it appears your situation is not uncommon. Over the past few weeks, other anonymous females
in your age group from your country have posted similar tales of woe detailing almost identical circumstances.
In each previous instance none of the answering aunts were able to provide the OP with the magical answer she apparently wanted to hear and almost all advised her to leave her shack-up boyfriend.
I wonder if any previous OPs have accepted the cold, harsh, inconvenient truth or else perhaps at least one of them keeps posting the same stale question hoping for a different answer that would solve all her problems in the blink of an eye.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (21 December 2012):
 You've discovered the primary risk in "living together"... (or, "shacking up," as we USED TO REFER TO IT!!!!)
Your boyfriend now has you available to him - for s*x - 24/7. As well.... you (and he) are now in such an arrangement that makes YOU particularly vulnerable.... since YOU have "invested" your feelings in to your relationship (You did when you agreed to "live together").... whilest he has simply succeeded in getting a girl (YOU!) to be available for his s*xual pleasures WHEN HE WANTS!!!!
Best solution... swallow hard... recognize that this is NOT the guy for you... and get away from him ... and resume life on YOUR terms, in the future...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2012): I have no clue. Did you say something equally insulting to him that might have inspired his reaction? Not trying to minimize your issue with him, just simply asking in order to keep things fair. I mean if he said it out of the blue then maybe you should drop him. If you both were in a heated argument and were both shooting equally insulting things to each other in self defense of the other then maybe you can pawn it on that and try to forgive since in a way you were just as guilty. But, I don't know because I wasn't there. Obviously there is something going on between the two of you that is perhaps a bit dysfunctional. I know something is functioning because you have been dating for 6 years and both still want to take it to the next level, aka, move in together. Obviously there is something there, now it is up to the both of you to figure out what is getting in the way of things going wrong. Frankly, I do not know. And I doubt anybody here will be able to answer your concern. It sounds very unique.
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A
female
reader, FRICAN  +, writes (21 December 2012):
pack your bags and leave, he aint worth u and the longer u wait the bigger u screw your life...u deserve better hun!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Didn't you post the other day that he said you were old too?
sounds like he moved you in and changed his mind and wants you to do the dirty work of leaving.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (21 December 2012):
 Maybe living together has had a negative effect on how he sees you. Maybe he feels his freedom is under threat.
Moving in after such a long courtship can seriously affect some people's minds and shows a lack of maturity. It will change your relationship in lots of ways and if the relationship was in difficulties before, living together could push it over the edge.
If he is suddenly being nasty toward you then maybe it would be better if you asked him to leave.
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