A
female
age
41-50,
*isdeeds
writes:Last night my boyfriend broke up wit me via text. He accused me of shopping for some attention. I went out shopping yesterday and he said that I was looking for some attention and I absolutely was not. He said that he can't trust me. He has trust and insecurity issues. I'm not sure what to do here, this is a pattern of his. When he gets angry, he tells me he doesn't want to be with me anymore. This is crazy right now. We were together all week long up until yesterday about noon, everything was good, so I thought. I normally chase after him when he tries to break it off but I don't have anymore fight in me. I'm tired of trying to prove myself as innocent to him. I've never cheated on him, EVER!!! I guess my question is how do I move on? I still love him, but I don't think he feels the same. To me, when you love a person it's not that easy to just walk away from them like he does with me. I'm feeling hurt as well as angry right now....any suggestions???
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 December 2012):
 You write: "I'm not sure what to do here, this is a pattern of his."
IF it's a "pattern".... then that means it has happened more than once in the past. What you can do is crystal-clear; EITHER, you buy in to his abusive behaviour/pattern.... OR, you dump his sorry, controlling, borderline-abusive bottom and get on with your life. The choice is your's and your's, alone.....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 December 2012):
 One of the hardest thing to move on from is the knowledge that the other person did not really love you all this time. A person who loves you will not break up with no good reason. You will be upset over time wasted and that you hoped for better times, however shortlived they are. People with personality disorders are very hard to relate to. It's hard to analyze them, like they are speaking a different language. It's a waste of time trying to understand them. I have also noticed that people with personality disorders have trouble with Christmas. They dread it. They can't stand happiness and their life purpose is to drag people down.
One way to move on from him is to think of all the negatives in your past relationship and promise yourself that you will run from a guy at the first sign of a red flag. Have faith that there are still many normal men left.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (23 December 2012):
You have to ask yourself if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. In regards to these problems it sounds like something he has to learn to deal with therapy. But if it has been this long then why doesn't he try to sort it out? These are things worth asking. It is not easy moving on but it starts when you let it start.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2012): You're absolutely right its not easy to just walk away. Sometimes it takes everything you have inside to walk away. Yes it hurts like hell. In the end, you know that's what needs to be done.He is expecting you to come running begging and pleading. In order for you to break that cycle, you must stop YOUR behavior. He will either make a change or leave you all together. Its not up to you to change his issues its up to him. I've been there! I chose to leave. The best decision I could have made! I was free to do what I want when I want and how I want. It was liberating. Did it hurt? Like hell! Did I miss him? Like crazy! Did I feel better? You bet your ass I did! I'm not telling you that your decision should be like mine, but it's emotionally exhausting trying to prove to somebody that you're something you're not. He has the problem not you. Best of luck to you!
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