A
female
age
36-40,
*rndz4life
writes:hii had a friend of 4 yrs .i thought her to be my best friend . but my friendship is going through some tense moments for past 1 and a half years.she is an extrovert whereas i'm reserved..but she has always forced me to become an extrovert like her, to which if i don't agree upsets her.we are like totally different she has childishness that starts irritating me though i tried to avoid it.she doesnt give me any space.i have some personal issues that i want to be kept to myself but my friend spied on me for my personal details.we had broken up but then i forgave her.thinking she realized her mistake.people should get chance but i gave enough "chances". but things haven't improved she breaks our friendship after stating flaws in me and my nature and says sorry like whenever she wants. but my patience level has ended now. after insulting me a week ago she is again apologizing for the same asking for " re-friendship".now it doesnt come from within me to be with her. according to me friends dont do that .I also have self respect . In fact i had become a lot of dependant on her for a while emotionally but now i'm becoming independent in all ways.the feeling of friendship in meplease help me !!!! am i wrong or you all think i should give her 1 more chance of hurting me.. need urgent advice
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 "friends" don't spy on each other unless they're twelve years old. I'd explain it in a letter,mail it then wait for a response.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): She should not be spying on you to get your personal secrets, or forcing you to be something you are not. I say she is not a friend but a toxic person. I would say you can find better friends who share your interestes and outlooks. Don't let her hurt you. If she's making you feel bad about yourself, she isn't a true friend.
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A
female
reader, Coopervikki  +, writes (31 August 2011):
i dont mean to be mean in any way but sometimes and in most cases it does take two, maybe theres something that you can both do to make the friendship work not just her. A friendship is like all relationships, you have to be flexible. I bet if you asked her she would say you annoy her at times too.Sit down and talk it through and (be honest) if that doesnt work then maybe you are too different. Ive been in a similar friendship and we are now not talking, wont go into detail but she done something which i thought was extremely unloyal, i told her how i felt and she couldnt take it, she would rather walk away than admit she screwed up! its give and take in all relationships, if one of you is just taking from the other its never going to work, take my friend for example, i ask for one thing and she cant even find it in her to back me up over it after everything, says it all really. My advice would be sit down and talk it out might not work but its worth a go x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2011): Take a break from her and then when you are ready to be her friend then try to be but if she doesn't respond then move along.
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