A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Help!I'm in a relationship with this amazing guy. He's loving, caring, complimentary, funny- everything you want in a man.Then there's the problem.He's my cousin.,who is also my best friend, ex...We were friends before they broke up, and afterwards it turn into something else.It was a rough split up between him and my cousin, ending with them despising eachother. Also, my cousins new boyfriend hate him too and I really dislike her new boyfriend aswell!It's a mess.My cousin doesn't know anything like "that" is going on, but she knows that we are friends. She didn't take it well when I first told her, but after arguing my case, she told me to "do what's make me happy"..... I don't think this fits into those brackets.…I have no idea what to do.I will always put my cousin first, but letting this guy go would really hurt me.I suffer from depression and I've recently been able to stop my obsession with self harming.I have a feeling this could be one massive leap backwards.I really need some help with this. Some clarification.Thankyou,mmmm x
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou very much guys :) this helps :)
except from the guy. But I don't expect him to understand.
I'll take all this on board :) I would always put my cousin first, she's been my best friend my whole life and I wouldn't let a guy stand in our way.
But, unfortunately, he's more than just "a guy" to me.
In a way, I wish I never knew him because, either way, someone will hurt. Whether it's him or my cousin. And I know that it will inevitably hurt me too, but that's the least of my worries :/
I just wish that everyone could just get along, let the past stay in the past and let what happens in the future blossem....
But I know the world isn't that perfect. :)
I'll keep you up to date :)
xxxx
A
female
reader, JellyBean23  +, writes (2 September 2011):
 That is a tough situation to be in. I think that the best thing to do is take a few steps back from yourself, your cousin, and the situation at hand. Most importantly take your emotions out of it!! Think about the pros and cons, make a list of them (it usually is very helpful if you write things down... you can be more honest with a piece of paper than you can with yourself sometimes... trust me, I know this firsthand). After you weigh out how it would make your cousin (who you said is your best friend) feel, and is it worth possibly harming that relationship? Remember... blood is always thicker than water. Your family will always be there, boys won't. Talk to your cousin... ask her how she would feel if you two were to start dating. If she says it would hurt her, then weigh pros and cons again, keeping that tid bit in your head. Most importantly, do not take those steps backwards to self harming... sweetie, I have been there... I know how hard it is to stop doing that, and I really know how hard it is to stop after relapsing. Additionally, if you want to talk more about that through private messaging, feel free to shoot me one. I am more than happy to talk with you about that privately. Hope this helps. Keep your chin up, and remember to put you and your family first!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): Considering that I also suffer from mental illness this is one thing that I know: finding people who support you when you have an illness is not easy. In fact, they are sometimes one in a million....
If this guy is a good guy and a good support system for you, then I don't think you should dump him over your cousin. And I don't think it would be right for your cousin to make you choose. These things happen. It sounds like she moved on (even if a bad choice at the moment,) so if she loves you she will eventually understand.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 September 2011):
 Yeah, i don't see a happy ending here. Sorry, just being real.
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