A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help! I am married and can't get over a crush. The guy is married too and is not as good looking/hunky as my husband. I think I fell for his wit and sense of humour. I did enjoy flirting with him. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I've been married for 20 years. Am I just bored? I also have a tendency to want male attn. when I go out too--What is wrong with me??!! This behaviour kind of makes me a little worried. Any tips out there to get over a crush?Thanks!
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Nothing is "wrong" with you! Your good sense has you stepping back and reflecting rather than acting on an innocent and perfectly normal attraction to another person.
Good on you for identifying the issues for what it is. If more people were as disciplined and intellegent as you the world would be a better place. Thanks for sharing, but there is nothing wrong in fact all is right with the world, ENJOY your brief fantasy.
A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (9 September 2011):
Well at least you haven't acted on it, so that's a good sign! (and it is normal to still be attracted to the opposite sex whether you're married or in a relationship, we are all only human after all, as long as you don't do anything more!)
Good luck and enjoy thinking up new exciting ways to improve/spice up your marriage. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): Thanks for the responses cmarieky and Fate100percent. I haven't acted on my crush but am feeling very guilty about wanting to contact him. I have distance myself from him and am trying to focus on his faults--ie... being really flirtatious with other women esp. being in the professional position he is in, his aging looks, too slender physique--He is someone I normally would not think "Wow!" but I think I fancied all the attn. he gave me. It helps writing about it. I need to get him out of my head and focus on my hubby. I guess I need time and space here. Thank you!
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (9 September 2011):
I don't know how to tell you to get over a crush, but if you are happily married, think of what you could lose if you took it further?You've been married for 20 years, and I'm imagining that could lead to boredom and when someone else shows you attention it's easy to lose sight of what you already have? (It's always good for the ego to feel appreciated by the opposite sex!!)I'm guessing you haven't done anything about this crush yet right? I think you just have to use these feelings to spice up your marriage (as you have not said you are unhappy or anything?) Someone once said to me, 'There is nothing wrong with working up an appetite with someone, as long as you go home for your tea...!!' Lol ;-)Maybe it's just a reminder to pay some attention to your husband, and what things you enjoy doing together, and putting some effort in to making it more exciting? x
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A
female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (9 September 2011):
Put spice back into ur marriage. Date nights, vacations, hot sex, romantic gifts, surprises, love notes, massage, etc. Do these things randomly for no special occasions n have it read just because. You want attention from others bc ur husband isn't noticing u enough. Even if he is noticing u, u notice a difference in the amount that he pays u attention so instinctively ur seeking out other ways to have that need met bc ur used to attention. U get over a crush by noticing their flaws...all the things that bug u. It's the opposite of making a relationship work. So with ur husband focus on his good qualities that ur crush lack, do not do vice beta bc it makes competition for ur husband. N ur husband already won u thus marriage so focus on what the crush lacks and praise ur husband mentally for having more. This will always draw u closer to ur husband. Hope I've helped. Best wishes
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