A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When I was with my ex , I was a nightmare. I was demanding, disrespectful and very manipulative. In return he was a great bf. I broke up with him after a few years when I got a job in another country. So, now I have a new bf and for some reason, I have calmed down. So I don't act like a bitch so much. I guess its because I'm older and wiser. However, he is not as attentive or giving as my previous partner. Lately, I started acting like my old self. And what do you know? He starts giving me more attention. When I dont speak to him, when I sulk and when I demand things, I seem to get it and he treats me better than when I am nice to him. So what gives? Why are men more nicer to bitches? I have literally put this to the test and its show that this is very much the case.
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 I think it is the same with women who cling to men that are bad to them.
I wonder if some people try and stick with people who are unkind and negative to them because deep down they would like to believe that person will change for them.
It rarely works out that way, but there are some folks that like the idea of "taming" the bitch or the jerk.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 I would not like to think that it's this way for more than just a handfull of 'men'. the men I know would not want to put up with a "B" most men prefer to be in the "Golden Rule" catagory.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 September 2011):
 You might not like what I have to say, but you are setting yourself up for serious heartache, and hopefully my post will help you to truly open your eyes and avoid a lot of pain.
When you were less of a "bitch", you say that he was less attentive and giving. When you were a nightmare, he was a great boyfriend. Here's the problem -- you're burning out your boyfriends. Eventually, no real man will put up with bitchy, nightmarish, disrespectful behavior. They may be more accomodating to you to placate you, but that doesn't make them better. It only makes you a bully who will one day be dropped by these good boyfriends.
Not only that, but when you are nicer, the boyfriend's only crimes were not giving YOU enough and weren't as attentive to you?? Sorry, but what are you giving them exactly?? If your behavior, good or ill, is simply designed to get you the most attention, what are they getting?
I find that men treat women better if women love, respect, and help them be better men. Likewise, a man in love would lay down his life for his woman. These traits build the foundation for a lifetime relationship. A bitchy woman who nags, harangues and treats her boyfriend with disrespect might get her way in the short term, but not without resentment and tearing apart a man's deep feelings for her. Likewise, as you've probably experienced, your respect for the man who takes your ill-treatment drops too.
So, I ask you, would you rather be fixated on the positive results of your bitchy behavior, or would you decide to take your focus off of yourself and become a woman who builds her character and ability to love without the bullying and nasty behavior? If you can truly take your eyes off of yourself and crafting relationships that serve yourself exclusively, you might come to some better conclusions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): I wonder if it is similar to the "bad boy" issue that women have. You know, the girl doesn't want the guy who treats her nicely, but the semi-abusive jerk gets her full attention. Maybe it has something to do with society in general, or perhaps these men were just raised to think a good woman is more demanding. I mean, if you watch t.v. or movies then you see that all women are self-serving, manipulative, get the most expensive ring / jewelry / flowers or we're done, and withholding sex as a way to get what she wants... Of course that's not true. Not all women are that way. Many women are very kind, gentle, and humble people.I wonder if it is not so much being a bitch but the attitude of confidance and independance that you may exhibit when you act that way. Maybe when you are being "nice" you're too nice or too much of push over?
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