A
male
age
22-25,
*orge
writes:This is something that my friends have said to me, and I do notice that it's happening, but I don't notice what I'm doing. (Just bear with me here)I go through times of complete social inactivity. I don't talk to anyone, I don't play my Xbox, or kindle, or anything that I could use to interact with others. It's the worst at school.When this happens at school, and all my friends try to talk to me, I just get very angry, or I just all around avoid them. Polar opposites on the reactions I know.My parents don't seem to mind much, as I've told them, and they just say it's because I'm a teenager. Wouldn't doubt it, but it is starting to become an issue, as I've actually lost a few really close friends because of it.It lasts for varying amounts of time, ranging from no less than a week, to (the longest it's ever gone) almost 2 months.I do seem to notice when these "phases" are going to happen, and I get kind of antsy.Is this some form of social anxiety? Or am I just being a teen? Does this happen to everyone.Thank you all for sticking by my side so far and telling what to do, but I can't always visit a doctor or a counselor. It's very expensive, and my family is tight on cash.That aside, I would also like to say that I believe I have anger issues. I get when someone is obviously doing something to anger me, or anyone for that matterBut it seems like even the lightest of things will just me offMaybe the two issues are linked?Im slowly putting together a puzzle here.Again, thank you all for dealing with my posts every hour or so, but I believe one of my inactivity phases is happening.The time is late, into midnight and further."Follow the stardust of the ones that came before us to see what we've always been near."I often become extremely active before these periods of inactivity happen, which is why I think I might be going inactive again.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 July 2014):
 Thanks 15, your experience is important for forge to understand. As adults we do tend to worry more about mood swings in girls. As a guy and a father of a guy I've come to understand that we guys have similar if (usually) less pronounced mood swings. Also it is easy for adults to look at a moody teen and just say oh its just teenage hormonal mood swings. That is why Euphoric29 put in her bit about serious mental problems that can develop and be masked because the adults are thinking "oh this is 'normal'".
All things considered I do wish Forge would pop in and say hey I'm reading this and I tried this or I talked to my parents about the other.
FA
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2014): I think it normal for anyone to have mood swings. I mean I do one week out of every month! (ba-dum-tss!) Cereals though, the mood swings will pass with time. if they don't see someone about it. someone specialized in that area.
p.s. I am 15 so... I understand...
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (1 July 2014):
Dear OP,
Too many teenagers with mental health problems don't get treated properly because their parents blame everything on puberty and hormones. It's like between the age of 12 and 20, you could go through a suicidal crisis, psychosis, depression, anorexia.. no matter what, people would just say "oh, he's a teenager, this is normal".
Being a teenager was not very much fun for me, and it's probably not too much fun for many people. Statistics show that the saddest that people ever say they are, or were in retrospective, is around the age of 17. Of course it's depicted otherwise in movies, but that's just because we all have the illusion that other people actually enjoyed this strange time in their life. So yes, on one hand it's very "normal" to sometimes (not all the time!) feel completely sh*tty as a teenager. Life greatly sucks at times when your whole body is changing, you need to keep up with school, when at the same time falling in love, losing old friends and trying to find new ones etc.
But just because it's "normal" to feel unstable and have some problems as a teenager, it doesn't mean that everything you feel is only due to puberty and that it will pass naturally. Some teenagers suffer way more than others and they carry their problems into adulthood.
So, the bottom line is I am taking this seriously, without panicking about it, but still.
My advice is that if your parents are short on money and you feel fairly okay, you can start doing something for yourself by reading some good self-help books for teenagers. Studies have shown that sometimes, it can be just as helpful to stick with a good self-help book than with an average counsellor (for mild problems). Also, maybe you can talk to a school social worker or school counsellor, too. And, maybe you can apologize to your friends and just make a deal with them, that they leave you alone when you need to be alone, but that you can approach them when you feel better.
You describe a pattern of extremely active and then extremely inactive phases.. which might be your hormones and a very natural process.. but then again it might be something else, for instance a mood disorder. If you feel like you can't go to school anymore, or if your anger issues make you physically hurt other people, or if you have suicidal thoughts and feel like life is not worth living, it would definitely be time to seek professional help, even if it's expensive.
Also, a big advice from the bottom of my heart: Don't smoke weed. And if you already do, please quit as soon as possible. Marijuana is underestimated, it can have serious effects on your motivation, mental health and mood.
I hope this was helpful, if anything is unclear, you can still write me a personal message.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 July 2014):
 Yep I emember it all very well..mood swings,confusion,etc. all part of the teen years. raging hormones and ierd body changes all come together forhe 'perfect storm' of really weierd years(say 12u 19)..Hang in there, it all settles down and reality bites yoin the butt sooner rather than later. Then you gto do it alover again in reverse in your golden years(45 thru 70). Life is strange but you'll get over it.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (1 July 2014):
Hi again Forge,
This one also sounds familiar to me. Yes this is because you are a teen. But, that doesn't mean you don't need to find healthy ways to deal with it.
Chemically you are experiencing hormone levels that are not stable and you are not used to. Over time your levels will settle down. (Be glad you are not Female theirs continue to cycle up and down) Being snappy and alienating your friends is obviously not acceptable so you need to learn how to control your reactions. Forge, I really like that you are thinking about these things. It shows that you really do care about others. Part of what you need to do is to put yourself in their shoes. Start to think about how they are going to feel about what you want to do or say. This is the main goal of becoming mature. Second, (you are going to think I live in the vitamin aisle) Get a B complex vitamin and take it regularly. If you were Australian you could get by on a vegimite sandwich. Take it especially when you feel moody or withdrawn. This really works well for my son. Seriously your Mom will think it is well worth the minor cost. B vitamins are water soluble and should be taken with a large glass of water (12 oz).
Why this works: B vitamins help your nervous system to work better. When you can think more clearly you can handle stress (hormone induced or otherwise) much better.
While I am at it Melatonin (for sleep) is found naturally in turkey and is responsible for that loggy feeling you have after Thanksgiving dinner.
FA
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