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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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How has the porn industry shaped our view on relationships?
Q. I would like to know woman's view on the porn industry and how it has shaped our view on relationships. Are we being forced to believe that this is the way we should be having sex and to like it? Porn has changed over the last 20 years, the acts ...
A. 4 September 2014: Nope, don't agree at all, porn has been around forever at least since the days of the Roman Empire(they've found treasure troves of porn during excavation of Roman Ruins. As a guy, I don't see porn as having anything to do with "control". It's all ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I liked what he was doing without sending the wrong message?
Q. Sooo I really like this guy I have been friends with since kindergarden. We have always been friends but in the last few years he's become my closest guy friend, we know more about each other than a lot of people do. Recently-ish he broke up with ...
A. 18 August 2014: Pretty much sounds like this guy is "all over the place" on his on/off attractions, How soon do you think it wil be before he's moved on to his next girl? You wanna get in this crossfire? I don't think so.... (read in full...)
I want to hate my boyfriend so I can leave him
Q. Dear Cupid Im with my current bf for past 4 years. Its been 6 months since we actually had a good talk, went on a romantic date.... I just come home from work, cook dinner and wait for him, he hangs around with his friends after work, come home ...
A. 18 August 2014: Hate is a reallbad emotion o want to have. You can split up without either one of you hating the other one. Just do it! Hate uses up way more life than ambivilance. Don't hate it'll backfire on you and it'll eat upyou gut. Just follow your ... (read in full...)
After dating him for several months I've learned he lied about his age!
Q. Hi I'm 35 I met a guy he said he was 33 and we began dating. A few months later he tells me he had lied to me he is only 28 and his reason was that if I had known his age I wouldn't have dated him. I don't know what to do the age difference scary.....
A. 18 August 2014: That doesn'tsound like a big old lie thatwould create a major confrontation to me. If yolike the guy, who really cares how old he is or says he is..I mean, it's not lie he was 36 and said he was 40. I dont see a problem, maybe I'm missing ... (read in full...)
I went farther than I'm comfortable with this early on
Q. I met a guy recently and we went on a first date for drinks which was a really great evening and we both wanted to see each other again. We went for a second date a week later which involved going for drinks, going for dinner and after dinner drinks ...
A. 18 August 2014: bet if you have an adult conversation with him and express exactly what you have in this question he will totally understand and hold you in high respect. Anything otherwise and you may need to re-evaluate his intent. The way you explained your ... (read in full...)
I think my friend stole from me ......
Q. I think my friend may have stolen from me and I feel awful thinking like this so I need some advice... A mutual friend of ours was getting married and we were both invited to the wedding. Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend as I was going o...
A. 17 August 2014: I know the feeling...when I was younger, a friend of mind litterally broke into our house while we were all gone and stole all my records(I had a huge collection of 45rpm records that he had known about and he also toke a bunch of things from my ... (read in full...)
I feel like a different person when I hang out with them!
Q. The last few months I've started meeting up with coworkers from my old job. They're great, really friendly and are a good laugh. However I'm starting to get concerned about the way I am around them compared to my other friends. I've only had ...
A. 17 August 2014: You know the answer to your own question; Having a good time doesn't have to involve doing things that are out of your normal habits. Take smoking for example. When I was young you just were not cool if you didn't smoke. Years later I had a stroke ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't bothered by the difference in our body sizes, but as a bigger girl I feel awkward about it!
Q. Hello, I am a 30 year old virgin and have recently started dating an older man who is 34 and I suspect he is also a virgin. My main worry is that I am a UK size 22 and he is very very skinny and only a couple of inches taller then me. The whole ...
A. 17 August 2014: If you worry about things like this you'll drive yourself crazy. Bodys are all diferent. no one cares! forget about it! Follow your hearst not your concepts of what others think.... (read in full...)
Why is my married co worker avoiding me and yet also acting like something might be going on?
Q. I met a married man at work. Recently for a month we've been working more closely together. He started flirting with me and I am attracted to him. He winked at me a few times, brushed his arm against mine one time for a few seconds and teasing me ...
A. 17 August 2014: He is flirting just like back high school. He like the rest of us miseble men is looking for validation. He nts to feel thst his manhood stll exists outside of marriage. Being with one women for years and years isstifeling and stunts a man's ego ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend playing head games or is he serious?
Q. Okay so here it goes 2 1/2 years ago I met my wonderful boyfriend we do things together help eachother out financially we live together he says his house is my house and his family loves me and mine loves him.....he helps me with my daughter from a ...
A. 15 August 2014: I opt for the head games theory myself, It's like he's toying with you.. It's obvious what you want and he knows it so the refusal tojust ask is a perfectly obvious sign he is messing with you. Motives unknown other than he's getng what he wants now ... (read in full...)
I have my first date! Is there a list of no-no's to follow to ensure that its a great date?
Q. I'm about to have a date for the first time in my life. Is there a general list of things that I should refrain from doing in order to ensure that my date has the best possible time? The date itself is going to be a fairly simple affair. Basicall...
A. 15 August 2014: Sure; It's an event for which there is no equal..even it a 'simple date'(no such thing) It's exciting, your knees will shake, you'll forget who you are and who she is..girls do not understand how incredibly nerve shatering an event this is for the ... (read in full...)
How has the porn industry shaped our view on relationships?
Q. I would like to know woman's view on the porn industry and how it has shaped our view on relationships. Are we being forced to believe that this is the way we should be having sex and to like it? Porn has changed over the last 20 years, the acts ...
A. 15 August 2014: I disagree with the last few lines regarding control. Some women ike that messy act. Porn has been around for a tousand years or more. It's just in the past decade there's been this outrage over it. I guess certain groups feel betrayed or left ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this difficult friend?
Q. Hey all, I am constantly having trouble with one of my friends. In one sence we are close, we go though phases where we tell each other everything, protect each other and you coudln't wish for a better friend. But then he goes though phases wh...
A. 15 August 2014: You've mistaken this peson for a friend. Fiends don't act this way. Friends try to make you happy not frustrated. Soo,first take this person off your friends list and treat him/her differently. In other words, as a friend,you're trying to do things ... (read in full...)
How do I feel more comfortable with my penis size?
Q. This is a usual thing for some blokes but how do I feel more comfortable with my penis size? guessing the main answer is to sleep with more women and hope they are really nice lol One issue is because I don't like my size it holds me back as I fee...
A. 14 August 2014: One thing to remember is you can't do a damn thing about it.... (read in full...)
My husband and I are getting a divorce but he refuses to leave the house, which is in my name. Is there anything I can do?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 15 years. Recently we has a huge fight in which he now wants a divorce. He is seeing an attorney who told him to stay in the house in order to receive a share of the money if we have to sell the home. The house ...
A. 14 August 2014: You will have to get a lawyer this is way to complicated to figureout on your own.... (read in full...)
We are going to a costume convention and the other girl is wearing the same outfit!
Q. I need advice, though not really relationship advice. My boyfriend and I are going with a group of (his) friends to a costume convention. Think comicon if that helps. This is my first time going to one. We came up with a theme in the beginning of ...
A. 14 August 2014: You have options; 1.) Don't go 2.) go but go topless 3.) Go and acuse her of copying you.4.) return your outfit for another.... (read in full...)
Can you cheat in an open relationship?
Q. So I've been in a long term relationship with my partner for the past 9 years. We talk about having children one day and getting married and we already own a home together. We have an extremely happy and healthy relationship and are very open and ...
A. 14 August 2014: All of you are going to endup with STDs or worse(AIDs) if you coninue this ridiculous activity. What's fun and heart pounding for a while is not only going togive you mental grief(like you're having now) but will give you crotch rot in future years. ... (read in full...)
I find attention from other men flattering. Is this bad?
Q. I have been with my fiance since we were 13. Although I love him and couldn't imagine my life without him, I must admit I am a terrible flirt when I am out, or in male company. Sometimes I don't even realise I am doing it, for example, the guy who ...
A. 14 August 2014: Nope you're just normal. Eyone seeks reassurance that they are still valid inthe eyes of others. As long as you don't go any further (like to bed) with other men you're just being you. Andyou is probably a very nice person. Just don;t let it get ... (read in full...)
I know it's not healthy and I'm trying to move on but it's human to want revenge!
Q. So I'd been dating a girl on and off for 4 months but it became a long distance relationship due to university over summer. We'd talk every day and I'd visit as often as I could - until we had (what I thought was) a small argument. Turns out right ...
A. 13 August 2014: Have you ever heard the phrase, What goes around comes around? It's karma explained in six words. without any help from you at all there will be a time when she is put in a situation by circumstances beyond your or her control where the scales will ... (read in full...)
What's the point of my existence?
Q. Hi all, I've been very down in myself lately. I've been wondering wat was the point in putting me on this earth? I live alone and I've no kids. I'm not in a relationship. The world could do without me. I really dont make a difference to anyone's ...
A. 13 August 2014: highmaintenance 101 has it nailed... without offspring or adopted offsping it really can feel like there's no validity in your life. Apparently you don't have a faith to assist in these matters if you did the answers would be se;f evident.... (read in full...)
We had sex and I didn't feel anything!
Q. Hello. I really cannot figure ouv what is the problem. I recently had sex ith a new partner. When we are having sex with a new person, we dont know the other person's body, we dont know what he likes etc. It takes time to learn how to please a ...
A. 13 August 2014: You have beenwith better lovers, that's the bottom line. Could be he is on the small side(a lot of us are and it sucks) but usually we teenie guys can make up for it in lots of other ways. I can only assume he skipped out on those 'other ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with rumors at work regarding a girl that I'm only friends with?
Q. At the store I work at, there is a girl that usually works the same shifts I do. She is 18 and has a boyfriend. I am friendly to everyone so naturally everyone is friendly with me, which is fine. It feels like more with this girl. While she is f...
A. 13 August 2014: Document everything! With the strick laws regarding harrasment these days you may be being set up for a lawsuit. I'd be very cautious here. Your life could be ruined if her forwardness is a ruse to get it look like yo're the one doing all the ... (read in full...)
He tells me he wants a future with me but he already has a girlfriend!
Q. I'm inlove with a guy who already have a girlfriend and he told me he want to have the future with me a should give him sometime. When I ask him if he still love her his answer is yes.so I don't know what to do becuase I real love him and when the ...
A. 13 August 2014: I fear your BF has no clue about love or monogomy. You may be better off alone.... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend has been using me for money. I don't know whether to hold it together till I find another place or just leave!
Q. I have discovered my boyfriends profile on a dating website and I am so angry. Have been with my boyfriend for 2 years - we met on the internet and then for 18 months we met up every weekend minimum our relationship got deeper. I have now been ...
A. 13 August 2014: I also am not very techy so I'm in a state of confusion as to where he makes money? The internet is a fabulous thing but i don't understand any of it especially how people make money from it.... (read in full...)
How to make my boyfriend to stop interrupting me?
Q. How to make my boyfriend to stop interrupting me. My boyfriend has this annoying habit of constantly interrupting me. Especially I notice it when there are other people involved in conversation. For example, we invited a landscaper to do...
A. 13 August 2014: I saw a guy get the ltimate put down for doing just this same thing. Guy A was lways interupting and over-tlking others because he thought his idea or story was much more important than the person doing the talking at any given time...so guy just ... (read in full...)
Should I get married or date my friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a couple years shy of a decade. We began dating in high school but also went through several splits most only for a couple weeks to a couple months and one that was a few months. My boyfriend finally grew up ...
A. 13 August 2014: Trust your gut on this. If you are fraid of the answer, don't ask the question I always say. It sounds like your delema is based on an inner fear that old dogs cannot learn new tricks. If you 'think' he will run aound on you then he probably will. ... (read in full...)
He never called. Did he lose interest?
Q. So I met this guy at a family BBQ. He arrived sort of at the very end so we didn't speak much, we had a slight conversation and before I left to go home he asked for my number. I asked why and he said he wanted to talk after the BBQ, so I gave it to ...
A. 13 August 2014: Save him your number...now what in your mindis supposed to happen? Idle patter can lead to no comitments. I wouldn't wait by the phone. Don't look at yourself as the 'problem'aif ydid something to make him lose interest. Maybe he really never had ... (read in full...)
Friend Zone Faux Pas
Q. So I have this guy friend that I am very close to and recently we were joking around and I unintentionally put him in the friendzone. At the time he had a girlfriend so it was totally no big deal and we would joke about it all the time, but recently ...
A. 13 August 2014: Any young person tat can work e term faux pas into this kimnd of convoluted situation gets an A-Plus plus from me howevethe whole friendzone and BFF blabbe just eased it. Looks like and sounds like some more Facebook baloney to me which tends to ... (read in full...)
Can my child be taken away from me because I had an affair with my uncle by marriage?
Q. so i will start by saying where i have messed up, i am in a commonlaw relationship with a man that is also the father to my 5 year old, we have been together for 7years and i have never truly been happy with him, i stayed for so long just to make ...
A. 13 August 2014: Tisha-1 is on top of one. My brain turned to mush about hlf way through the explanation of who ad sex with who and how the family relationhip was involved. I'm thinkinghis one won't make it to Judge Judy. ood Luck... (read in full...)
Leaving for college -- should we break up or try to make a LDR work?
Q. I leave for college tomorrow and I need help on what to do with my relationship. We love each other, a hell of a lot. But we're going to different colleges, he's going to college in the city and I'm going 3 hours away...my thing is I want to be with ...
A. 13 August 2014: niethe one of us believed anything would ever keep us fom reuniting one day after college we'just call and write every day and that would tide us over. Within a week, we both sent each other a tearstained letter explaining how we needed to part ways ... (read in full...)
He's flaked a few times -- am I being tested?
Q. I started talking to this guy from my uni. We have mutual friends and we've been talking through facebook and now text and flirting all summer non stop. We're both 21 and have a lot in common. Lately however, he has been quite flakey. He said...
A. 13 August 2014: I am one of the otwo people on the planet that believesFacebook is the new root of all evil. It doesn't sound like there is anything real about this situation, I'd bail if I were you(with a great excuse tough.i.e. my parrot died and we're having ... (read in full...)
Should I keep talking to him knowing we'll never meet?
Q. Heya Well i signed up to a dating site, honstly just thought id have a nose and see what it was all about... I wasnt expecting anything to come from it. I noticed a boy viewed me (that was pretty hot lol) so i messaged him... Hes from ireland ...
A. 13 August 2014: OOPs it was 'Preserve your memories,they're all thatd left you not Treasure your memories, either way you get the idea. who cares if you ever meet? Live for the emotion of the moment and don't tie them nown with the "What if' strings.best of luck... (read in full...)
Should I pursue trying to date a woman with dysmorphia?
Q. Hi, I just wanted to see what your opinions on this is. I met someone well over a year ago and it was amazing. We got on really well, so much so we had 3 dates on one weekend. When I was at work the next Monday she send me an email and text m...
A. 13 August 2014: I'd agree with Tisha-1 she seems to have a valid summary.... (read in full...)
Is using the services of a prostitute OK?
Q. I've been separated for years, I find sex is hard to get with out being in a relationship. I don't think it's fair to get into a relationship until my divorce is final. The only sex I had any chance of getting was with 2 married women, I won't have ...
A. 13 August 2014: This day in time with STDs so prevelant, I'd be terified to try what you suggest. I see no moral issues with it just the terror of the 'unknown' would likely render me impedent anyways, why waste money when there's free porn all over the net?... (read in full...)
I want to be popular in college!
Q. hey i am 18 and i am in big problem i have no nice friends in my new college and in my previous college i didn't have friends and people who i talk to won't concentrate much in my talks and many will start talking over me and i feel so alone in my ...
A. 13 August 2014: You need not fret over your college years as friend making years, you'll most lely never those folks again after the tassles flip from one side to the other,so just make great grades and concentrate on your next phase of life. AND,whatever you do, ... (read in full...)
Should I keep talking to him knowing we'll never meet?
Q. Heya Well i signed up to a dating site, honstly just thought id have a nose and see what it was all about... I wasnt expecting anything to come from it. I noticed a boy viewed me (that was pretty hot lol) so i messaged him... Hes from ireland ...
A. 13 August 2014: Back in the old days, we had what they called pen pals. I got into a similar situation with a girl in san Fransisco, I was in Hawaii and a friend of her ex. e exchanged photos and agreed we should meet someday. that day never came, i still think of ... (read in full...)
Every time I try to leave this man he threatens to kill himself. Is this my fault?
Q. Been with my partner for seven years, we have a four year old child together. We have a very rocky relationship and constantly argue and I am very unhappy and he is too. I have tried to make this relationship work for two years now and it just won't ...
A. 12 August 2014: It's not you it's his warped idea of reality. Anyone that threatens to take his own life if you do x,y or z is irational and needs help in ways you can't provide. You may even be at risk by staying with this loser. He apparently views death as some ... (read in full...)
I cant get pregnant by my husband. Is it because our blood doesn't match? Should I try to get pregnant by another man?
Q. Dear Cupid.ORG. Im 29 married women with no children.Me and my husband we have been trying for a baby about 8 years knw bt now lucky.So I like to know if its is possible to get pregnant if I sleep with another man because so of people say maybe ou...
A. 12 August 2014: Well, of course it's possible but why do that? There are millions of unadopted children out there just waiting for a pair of loving parents to come along and take them into their life. Just going out and having sex with someone might produce a child ... (read in full...)
How important do you think political opinions are in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I'm looking for some opinions on how important you think political opinions are in a relationship? As I'm sure many of you know, Scotland are about to go through an independence referendum. This whole thing has completely divided the coun...
A. 12 August 2014: I'm delighted to learn a small bit of emerging history as I was unawre of this Scotish refendumit's not yet hit the news here in the states to my knowledge. Inour county (USA) we only have two types of plitical views; 1 Individua freedoms and small ... (read in full...)
Did I scare this guy away? He was given my number but has not called, friends trying to get us together
Q. Hey everyone, well something happened over the weekend and I would like your opinions on it. My best friend and I were invited to this get together by her BF. This guy had hosted a get together last week which I went to. So we got there and we ...
A. 12 August 2014: If he's so socially inept you're probably better off without the headaches you'd be in for with him around your life(lesson learned= (dumb guys don't get it) Never try to teach a pig to sing..it only wastes your time and annoys the pig.... (read in full...)
He stood me up and I don't know if he deserves a second chance...
Q. We had a first date/meeting set up for Wednesday. We're both pretty busy and hardly get to chat, let alone set a time to get together. Wednesday comes and I hear... nothing! I then realise he was last online on Monday evening, which meant he hadn't ...
A. 12 August 2014: Iyou feel like you got disrespected(boy I hate that word) then I guess you have evy right to tell the dude where to go. owever, if you feel there was a mix up and it was an innocent error on his part then give it another go. It really all depend on ... (read in full...)
How important do you think political opinions are in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I'm looking for some opinions on how important you think political opinions are in a relationship? As I'm sure many of you know, Scotland are about to go through an independence referendum. This whole thing has completely divided the coun...
A. 11 August 2014: 'They" say the trhird rail in any relationship is either sex politics or religion and at any given time that's probably true. A great relationship is held together if two are on the same page with all three.... (read in full...)
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