A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I was walking to work yesterday morning 7am, half way there I saw a man come jogging around the corner and he suddenly stopped about twenty yards infront of me then continued tonwalk towards me. I have to admit I did feel uneasy in my stomache as on either side of the road there are fields with offices set back and at that time i could not see anyone else around. He stopped walking when he reached me and was puffing and panting still, he was trying to catch his breath as he said " im sorry to stop you like this but I have seen you walking down here lots of times and I keep meaning to tell you that I really really like you" he apologised for putting me on the spot. I was a bit taken back and just sort of looked at him with half a smile, i said " well I dont know what to say, I feel a bit on tne spot" he said he was sorry for that but he had to tell me.He asked if I had a partner, I said no which is tne truth , I could not think of another polite answer, and being alone i did not want to say " mind your own business".He then asked if i had a pen nodding towards my bag, I told him no, then said he would give me his email address to remember and that if he did not hear from me he would never bother me again.So I listen to the email address and said okay I will remember that, as we were standing there a dog walker came off the field and I looked over at him across the road, the man who stopped me looked to see what i was looking at and then said " okay Then" I smiled and went on my way.For the record, during this whole episode I was aware of a feeling in my stomache which was very uneasy, I was expecting him lunging forward although he did not.After work I went straight home and decided to send an email from an account i do not usually use to say thanks but no thanks in a polite way, the email was returned to me as the address was not valid. ( i know the address was entered as he said as it is a very easy one to remember)I left it at that and thought maybe it was just a stupid joke. Later that evening my door bell rang, took me a minute or so to get to the door but no one was there, this may seem trivial but it is out of the ordinary, as always when I have a visitor they text or ring before hand as they know I do not usually answer to unexpected people, it was at approx 8.30 pm.I am a suspicious person by nature and I know sometimes I can make mountains out of mole hills so I am asking for different perspectives on this.Would a man approach a woman so early in the morning on a quiet road to say this? Did he give me the email address in good faith but got it wrong? He has obviously saw me walking that way lots of times to state it as factt.So am I being over cautious or could he be a threat? Thankyou for reading this
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female
reader, HappyPlace +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Always listen to your gut!! I think this scenario is extremely weird and you were right to be wary. Any man worth his salt will not approach a woman, at that time in the morning, in a relatively quiet and secluded area. That is just not on. And who thinks of chatting someone up at that time in the morning. I am barely awake and functioning at that time. My alarm bells are going off all over the place with this. Don't become paranoid but DO BE CAREFUL. Change your route or make sure you walk with someone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2014): I'd also like to ask how old this man is ?. Or how old does he look ?.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2014): I'm curious. Have you seen this man since then ?. If so, what happened ?. I hope you are ok.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 July 2014):
 Honestly, better safe then stupid.
If you felt uncomfortable when he approached you, I would have told him. I'm sorry I have no interest in striking up a conversation as I am running late and then I would have walked off.
As for giving you a "fake" e-mail.. who knows maybe you missed some lowercase/uppercase. Though I don't see why he would give you his e-mail anyways, he MUST have sensed your hesitation or even fear.
As for the doorbell.. well... that could be anyone.
I would take it as a compliment that he liked THE LOOK of you and stopped to let you know. The thing is... YOU DO NOT have to STOP and listen to said compliments. It's NOT rude to walk off if you DO NOT want to chat.
Take is as a lesson.
1. don't STOP if you don't want to. He is a stranger and you OWE him not a thing.
2. Wary your routine. Whether it's the time or the route, it's always a good idea. Specially if this guy have been "watching you" now he might have meant it as PURE flattery but honestly while it was kind of brave of him, it was also VERY stupid IF he meant no harm.
3. TRUST your instincts. We all have our fight or flight instinct, unfortunately MANY people IGNORE it out of FEAR of being impolite. SCREW that! Stay safe.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2014): There's no way to know. But 7am seems an odd time to stalk the streets looking for a victim when you can just wait until 3am on a weekend night and grab a drunk woman very easily.
Also doubt they'd be wearing jogging gear and actually be jogging either assuming he was.
Personally I think it's a bit of paranoia, the door was probably kids or someone selling something.
I think you were just caught off guard by a guy who may have been genuine but really picked the wrong woman to make that play on and the wrong time too.
I've done it a few times, you have to start by asking directions so they're comfortable with the reason you stopped them, he made the mistake of jumping straight in.
You don't have anything to worry about and should just take it as a compliment.
As you said you're a suspicious person, I call that paranoid to be honest because it was a simple come on and the guy didn't even try and get you to put your number in his phone or anything.
I mean, if he wanted to attack he would have just grabbed you from behind or knocked you to ground without all the talk.
I think you're being overly fearful. Because as my wife says fear makes you a victim. There's no point in being afraid of being attacked by some random person who approaches because it's not like being afraid is going to stop it if it does, just makes you a more obvious target even if you're sure you don't show it.
As I said I've done some street chat ups and I've actually seen girls shaking with anxiety, just because I started a conversation with them. I learned it's best to do it when there's other people around as they're less fearful.
Caution is a good thing, but you're kind of crossing the line into fear when it was a simple chat up you'd probably have thought nothing of except the location. Which is ironic if you think about it because you're more likely to be raped at home by someone you know or in a pub than at 7am by a jogger.
I always say trust your gut, but this wan't your gut speaking this was fear of the unexpected. Like the fear I have of heights at times it's a relevant survival instinct, at other times it's irrational. Your case is the latter.
You're suspicious by nature so will scare easily in unfamiliar situations with people without others around.
It was an odd time and place for a chat up, but that's all it was.
While I agree with the others caution is good, don't live your life in a paranoid fear that you have someone stalking you and also knocking on your door.
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A
female
reader, auntieJ +, writes (15 July 2014):
 Do you stay far from your work?
If so it's highly unlikely it was him at your door.
I do however find how he approached you a bit odd but perhaps he's just very confident in approaching women.
You could have just remembered the email wrongly.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 I think he was genuine about liking you. If he wanted to attack you, he would have probably just followed you and jumped at you, not started talking to you like that. But that's just my guess. I understand that you felt uneasy about it, when walking alone like that you never know, and you're quite vulnerable. I know the feeling. Perhaps though, you should start practicing what to do in case a person intimidates you again? Maybe take a class in self defense, and when being approached by a stranger say something like "I appreciate the compliment, but I am not comfortable talking to a stranger in an empty street", and see if he backs off.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 July 2014):
 I don't think you're being overly cautious, as in this day and age, there really isn't such a thing. I think the way he approached you is a bit odd. But what really gets me is the email address and even more is the doorbell thing.
I'm not insinuating anything is wrong. He could have very easily been your average guy off the street who wanted to hit on a girl he thought was attractive. but it is strange for sure. I would find this weird and uncomfortable, too.
Being a woman, you can't be too careful. It could be absolutely nothing. Or he could be watching you and finding out where you live. You already told him you don't have a boyfriend, so he may assume you live alone. To play it safe, prepare yourself for the worst. Perhaps you can carry mase or something when you walk to work. And stay alert at all times during the walk. Or better yet, call a cab to take you, or pay a friend. And also, keep an eye out for suspicious cars/vehicles parked etc. And where you live, make sure that all your windows and doors stay locked. And keep a form of protection by your bed at night.
Once again, not trying to scare you at all. Simply just out of precaution. It's much better to play it safe than be unprepared. But most likely, it's nothing. Good luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 Anytime your instincts talk to you" listen to them. Your instincts about the way you eet someone or that some's smile.or even thesound of their voice will save your life someday. Therefore don't even question yourself for a tiny bit of time. Anything that makes you feel uneasy or a bit suspecious is enough to flee the environment. History is littered with the bodies of young women trying to over-think a situation out of fear of upseting someone or the worry of looking bad. Just trust your instinct.
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