A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So ive got the inevitable question. Are people (espeically guys who are kinda of shy but just in general as well) more likely to tell their true feelings, and speak their mind when they're drunk or after even drinks? Is it true what they say that the truth comes out after afew drinks. I've been in this situation before quite a while ago where a guy I liked started acting weird after afew drinks like he was trying to build upConfidence with me, it didnt go anywhere because I moved away. But recently my friends ex who she keeps im contact with as they were friends before admitted his gf doesn't like her seeing him and said he'd kind of enjoyed this time away from her, not because he wants to get back with her but just in general as shes on holiday. Now I also know his gf and don't want anyone getting hurt but I thought if you're going to admit that to anyone it wouldn't be someone like that who isn't a fan of the gf, and hes usually the type to point out how happy he is. He had no reason to say it and could of easily said something else or said nothing, he wasnt drunk as such he'd been drinking but wasnt wasted and this was like 3-4 hours of not having a drink.So is it generally true that people speak their minds and hearts when Under the influence?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Oh, I so agree with Auntie Cindy!
DRUNK people just talk more. All kind of ridiculous notions pop into a drunk person's mind, and because the thought is there they speak it. Normally with being sober our filters are in place, that goes out the window.
We get sentimental, silly, just pure mental, philosophical, you name it while drunk - doesn't mean ANYONE is more truthful when drunk.
Personally I'd chalk it up to some drunk ramblings and stay FAR away from it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2014): In general? It depends on the topic. When it comes to men and pussy? Fuck no.
When it comes to women and that shit, you can only ever trust what a guy says when he's sober.
I mean what he said to his ex was a bit of a build up to a come on, nothing else. "My gf is not as good as you" kind of thing.
Ignore it. And when it comes to women, never trust what a guy says when he's drunk.
I once told a girl who was friends with another that I recently dumped that I only went out with her friend because I really liked her. Imagine that. I was drunk, horny and thought that would work. It wasn't true at all but her tits were so lovely in that top I just wanted a piece right there and then.
I mean if he was talking to a guy friend in a private conversation then maybe you could trust what he was saying, but drunken guy talking to a girl he has history with or who is looking particularly hot that night, you can never trust a guy to be telling the truth "just because he's drunk".
I'm very much a truth talker while drunk, mainly because I like to say the unsaid when I am. But when it comes to women it's a different story. I'll tell a woman I don't like at all that I do because right then in my drunken state she seems amazing. I'll tell an ex that I've never gotten over her or some shit if i think that'll work. The problem is I regret those in the morning every time, it's not my real feelings and I don't necessarily like doing that but it's how my mind works when drunk and when an opportunity (woman) presents herself.
It doesn't happen now that I'm married but you get the point.
Even while drunk motivation behind why people say things is key. When it comes to men and the topic of women, the penis tends to have a lot more power over us when we're drunk and you'd be surprised how often it takes full charge of everything we say that night.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (16 July 2014):
 Speaking the mind is completely different than speaking the heart. I could speak all sorts of random and idiotic stuff from my drunken mind. But it certainly wouldn't be from the heart.
Many people will tell you that a drunken mans words are a sober mans thoughts. I don't always agree with this statement, as I have said some pretty ridiculous things while drunk that I would never say or even have remotely thought when sober. I don't even know where they came from. And I also have told people while intoxicated that I had attractions and feelings for them that were not there at all. I was just drunk and happy and loved everyone. I really regretted this the next day when I was sober. Lol. My point being that sometimes, people may say things that they mean but are too shy to say otherwise. And other times, they may be completely full of crap. Lol. There is no certainty. Just my two cents.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2014): I am a firm believer in " A drunk mind speaks with a sober tongue"
Though I think you should stay our. It's not your relationship.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (15 July 2014):
 Not in myexperience and believe me I've had a lot of experience in this subject. People do tend to feel more self-important when drunk though. The world's problems are easily solved by drunks. "Why what we ought to do is just kill all the _________!" That would create a __________, which would, what was I saying?""Oh hell you knoe what I mean, let's have another round on me" The truth rarely rears it's ugly head during a drunken "disscusssion".
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 July 2014):
 No. When they are drunk people are more likely to speak, period. It's not necessarily their mind. It's a fleeting, on the moment, impulsive thought or sensation, generally widely magnified by alcohol. Many drunks tend to be very effusive and affectionate, but they don't really " always loved you with all ther heart " when sober. Same as many tend to be nasty and aggressive, but those too ,luckily, don't really " hate your guts and want to see you dead ".
In the specific case, though, anyway I don't see what startling revelation your friend would have witnessed. What the guy said is very normal, people can be very happy together AND also enjoy, for some aspects, a brief temporary separation which gives them more time for themselves and for actvities that are generally a little sacrfied to coupledom ( like getting drunk ?:). So tell your friend to not read too much into this, it was most probably just a tipsy guy " emoting " all over.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2014): Yes they are.
But it can be anything to mindless drivel to deeply emotional feelings declared.
Give me a happy drunk any day, hate the nasty vindictive ones.
I would definitely take anything said when drunk with a pinch of salt. Easier said than done I know.
But if they are the nasty variety avoid at all costs.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (15 July 2014):
 People feel less inhibited when drunk or having been drinking and often let their guard down or let their judgement lapse. People sometimes say something like "you know I always thought you were a right...." and it ends up in a shoot out, or they say "You know that little old lady Brenda, well I really wanna shove my...." and so it goes on.
Ive had drunken, straight male friends tell me the love me, which is embarrassing when they have tears in their eyes, their arm around you and cry out in front of a pub full of people "MARK!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! YOUR SO AMAZING!!!!" Ive had people who are normally perfectly normal bawl their eyes out over something stupid from a million years back after half a shandy, and have had a manager who is very prim and proper ask me if I have ever had sex with anther man after a handful of wine gums.
So yes drunken people tend to talk a lot about things they wouldn't normally say. BUT you tend to get half truths or mixed up, drunken views of reality. Did my straight, male friend really love me? Hardly. Did my long term manager really think I was gay, have worked with my GF? Of course not.
Drinking makes people melancholy and introspective. For some of use that's normal, for others they assume the role after a few drinkypoos. After a few glasses have gone down they start putting their arm around others and saying "My wife doesn't understand me..." or describing in excruciating detail why their wife wouldn't go along with a fantasy which involved a Shire-Horse, a car battery and a strap on cactus.
I would take anything said after drinking with a pinch of salt ;-) Especially if its AFTER drinking when they come down from the high and feel depressed.
Also best to avoid people who drink too much - I'll drink to that!
Mark
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