A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've just got married, and been married for 6 weeks now. We haven't even had our honeymoon yet, it's been busy with work etc.Our wedding was lovely - cost about $25,000 - at HIS request, not mine, so I can't really be called a bridezilla for this!However, a few days ago, my husband went out to work early in the morning [as he usually does] and didn't come back.I phoned the police and they sent out a search party, after 48 hours they told me that they had discovered from a neighbour that my husband had gone off to a bedsit in Leeds - he said that he told him not to tell anyone he had a flight to Manchester airport to catch.Why would you abandon your new spouse and go and live in a bedsit in England after 6 weeks of marriage?There'd been no fights, no arguments, no nothing, really - except for a silly argument in the supermarket over which brand of cereal was better, but in the grand scheme of things, that's, well, i guess, trivial...The main thing I know now is where he is, but not WHY, i remember being told the five W's in school - who, what, where, when, why?Evidence that he could be having an affair is slim-to-none, so it rules that one out - there was no change in personality after we got married, and he didn't seem depressed.I'm dumbfounded and upset, why would he do this?Emailing my husband didn't work - no response. Nor did sending him a Facebook message - it just said i was blocked.Why would he do this? I feel sad and depressed, and happy when i'm in work or with family.I wonder if it was, marry me, have his dream wedding, then disappear into obscurity, was his plan all along?I don't know where to turn to, please help.
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affair, depressed, facebook, neighbour, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2012): You only have a random neighbours heresay that he is in Leeds have any police checked this ? Why would he share this info if he wanted to 'vanish' seems odd.
Have his family contacted you or you them and have you checked your bank?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2012): Possibilities:
1- Is it proven that he is in the UK now? Are you sure he is not in trouble himself?
2- Just make sure he has not left you in a huge debt. Check to make sure because you are married now and he shares problems with you too. Has he contacted his parents?
You should wait to see what will come out of this issue. I hope you find comfort
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (18 October 2012):
 I agree with Fatherly Advice. Check about the money. Clearly something is amiss and I highly doubt it has anything to do with not getting along.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (18 October 2012):
 So far everyone has asked for the missing information. There is no way we can answer your "Why". There isn't enough information to start eliminating some choices. I will tell you this, very few people can spend 25,000 of their own money on a whim. SO either he spent your money or someone elses or his leaving was not premeditated.
The money is a good place to start.
FA
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2012):
 How well did you know this guy before marryig him ? if he is your Canadian boy-next-door you have gone to school with , I really have no explanation ,other that he has become mentally ill .
But if he was some charming stranger, about whose past you don't really know much about, and you got married not long after meet him... for all you know he may have the Canadian police after him, or else some foreign mafia ,or this or that criminal organization, wanting his balls for gambling debts or some drug deal gone awry.
How much do you know about his past, family, friends ?
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (18 October 2012):
 Hi
This is just plain weird.I feel for you.
Are you 100% sure he is in the UK?
Have you any contact details for any of his family?
Is he already married to somebody in the UK do you think?
Has he got any cash from you or access to it?
Who or how was the wedding paid for?
See a lawyer, this marriage has to end.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 October 2012):
 I wonder too which country he is a resident off and where is his family?
Do you know which bedsit he is at? If so, call and ask for him?
It makes absolutely no sense for him to do this, from what you write.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 October 2012):
 Yes, how long have you known him before you married? I'd say he had an ulterior motive for marriage (no idea what) or he freaked out and left. I would do as SVC said and get it annulled. It's not a marriage when he's in another country and won't speak to you...
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 October 2012):
 Is he Canadian? It seems really weird. How long did you know him before you guys married? Have you given him any money during your relationshp.
It could be that he has had a massive break down or it could be that it's a scam.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2012):
 Which country is he a citizen of?
does he have any history of mental illness?
if you know the bedsit he's in can you call it?
what about his cell phone can you call it?
if he's not responding to you, if he just up and abandoned you it's very odd and I would seek a lawyer right away and have the entire marriage annulled to be honest... clearly he's not the man you thought he was...
how long did you know him before you got married?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2012): Hi, Sorry it is hard to tell, how long was he living in the country, where is his family, you sure he is not already married in another country, how long did you know him before you got married.
Maybe he just realised, marriage is not for him
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