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Is she distracted? No longer cares? She cheated on me last year. And now she's forgotten my Birthday. Will things ever go back to how they were?

Tagged as: Cheating, Faded love, Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi guys, hope you are well. I will go straight to the point, my wife forgot my birthday and I can't help but feel so sad.

She remembered a few minutes to Mid-night and said happy birthday and apologised.

I don't know what to do because over a year ago she cheated on me, we worked things out and put the past behind us. I am so confused I don't know what to do. I have done everything expected of a good husband, but it seems I am wrong.

Things might never go back to those good old days. Please help!!!!!! Thanks in advance.

View related questions: cheated on me

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys for all the wonderful advice. I have always put efforts to be a good husband and will take your advice of having a weekend away. Maybe things could change, I really hope so because I love my wife. We met nine years ago and we were both virgins. My friends one time told me that since were in no other relationships, maybe my wife would be wanting to test other waters. I believe this isn't true but when she cheated last time, this kind of came to mind! Whatever has happened to my wife, I don't know. Maybe someone out there can tell me if he/she has ever been in the same shoes as me. I mean getting married when both of you were virgins or getting married to the person you have lost your virginity to. I really hope whatever is eating me up is wrong. Thanks guys.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (20 October 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

It must feel awful,did you not get any other cards or phone calls that would have reminded her? Or plan a night out to celebrate it?

Women are usually good at remembering birthdays,she must have been very distracted. Its time to have a serious talk and find out whats going on with you two.You sound a great husband but somethings not right here,the affair was the first sign of that.

If the talk is positive,plan a weekend away,surprise her,try to recapture the romance.Good Luck x

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (20 October 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntDo you both sit down and talk about how you are feeling? You need to have good communication and honesty for a marriage to work. Sometimes things can just settle down in to a routine and the spark goes. It is quite disappointing for you that she forgot your birthday, could it be that she might have a lot on her mind or is stressed? Either way I am sure it was not a good feeling for you. If you feel you are both growing distant towards each other well then sit down and talk to her and tell her how you are feeling and ask her how she is feeling.

Both off you need to make an effort to make each other feel appreciated and loved. Inject the fun factor back in to the marriage. Organise date nights and do things that you both used to like doing when you first got together.

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