A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Thank you for your help on my question at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/married-six-weeks-and-now-he-has-left.htmlI'll clear up a few things for you now;He's Canadian, born in Vancouver, well Scottish-Canadian to be exact, his ancestors emigrated here in the 1700's, so he's obviously a citizen.I have known him since university where we did business systems.We were together for 4 years, engaged for 2, so it was not too long an engagement was it?I know his family well [and they refuse to discuss WHY he's gone]He's middle-class - but I had no idea at all when I first met him, it was so subtle I didn't know he had money!He has few friends, except for some friends of his brother's, a guy who fixes classic cars and motorbikes, and an elderly Icelandic-Canadian couple in their early 60's.I know about his past - he's had few partners, been in long-term relationships, and his is fairly ordinary by many people's standards.As for who paid for the wedding, it was his family and brother.Certainly, there were no issues - we had what I thought was open and honest communication. No financial issues even.It was a police officer who told me that my husband was in the United Kingdom, in Leeds (the neighbour told police and the police verified this), but he couldn't say where - apparently my husband didn't want to be found. I don't know WHERE in Leeds though - and his family won't tell me.I think he left of his own accord, there was certainly nothing to suggest it wasn't premeditated. He wasn't in trouble, at all, in fact his life was pretty much average - work 10-4, go to the pub at weekends, enjoy time with me.He doesn't gamble, smoke but enjoys a drink at the weekends - not too much, not too little, and likes his food but never gets obese or overweight.The random stranger theory is ruled out, the money spent was a gift from his family, with no payback requested, I'm wondering how/why he could do this, whyI don't know WHY he did this, and feel worried and stressed.His family told me that it's his choice, and won't say any more.I am still struggling to understand, and want to try and get out of this situation.
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (20 October 2012):
 Hi
If his family know where he is then he must have spoken to them about when and why he was doing it and clearly their loyalty is with him.Perhaps in time they will tell you,who knows.
Could be he just decided he couldn't stay married, didnt want the wedding but didnt have the guts to stop it.Considering he has few friends then it is very odd he chose the UK, Leeds of all places, he obviously knows somebody there to go to,or had a job waiting,he had made plans.Have you checked the computer? Was his health ok?
Sadly you may never know the reason or get closure,you have to see a lawyer and end the marriage to get that.Hard as it is,eventually just accept its over and start again.
I feel for you I really do and once the shock has worn off you may remember things he said or did that give you clues,but life goes on.x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2012): I think still the best way is to talk to his family because he is in contact with them and whatever you say they will let him know. They should know that you cannot be dangled in dilemma and if their son has changed his mind and is not interested to live with you anymore there was no need to run away. Like a reasonable adult he can talk about his concerns or get divorce and you are ready for it and it won’t be any hassle. Just clarify that you cannot live like that and you should know where you have stand. I hope it works out well for you
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (19 October 2012):
I have no idea what your husband is thinking nor can I remotely relate his perspective. I fear this is where the line may end in your relationship with him. Assuming his family knows, I am sure they have very little power in controlling his actions.
You should seek some legal advice. I can't imagine how heart breaking this is for you but I do sympathize with you.
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