A
female
age
36-40,
*.rida
writes:A few weeks ago, I took a weekend trip with some friends to a city a few hours away from where we live. They had a conference to attend so I mostly spent the weekend exploring the city on my own. The night before we returned home, I randomly ended up meeting a guy (whom I was immediately attracted to although he is a few years younger than me) and his friend from out of state. They were both really cool and we had a great time talking and touring the city. We only got to spend a few hours together, but we really hit it off and since then the local guy and I have kept in contact via text messages, which he always initiates. The messages are flirtatious but maintain respectful boundaries and are mostly about getting to know each other. He has made it clear that he wants me to visit soon, promising me another tour of his city, activities we share a common interest in, etc. and had asked me if I was seeing anyone (we are both single). I have expressed interest in visiting but have not mentioned dates or anything official yet. When I told him he should visit me instead, he said he maybe over the holidays since he will be visiting family near where I live. He seems like a perfectly stand-up guy (from what little I know of him), we are obviously attracted to each other, and I know he doesn't have the wrong impression of me so I'm pretty positive he isn't expecting sex out of this, unless he's preparing to work really hard for it. I am willing to just enjoy his company and see where it leads, but is it a good idea to visit someone I've only met once in a city where I don't know anyone else? Does this make me seem desperate or too easy? How should I go about this? Should I try texting him first to see how he responds?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): I think its not a game #anonymous..that just because she visited his place now its his turn..first off she visited that place and coincidentally met him,she didn't go there to meet him,so the trip your making now will be your official trip to see him..I think don't stress too much there is nothing wrong in meeting him but 'no sex' lol..Just say 'hey I'm thinking of visiting the city soon,depends on how the dates work out,do you know of any tour guide I could get a hold of;) Just be funny don't make it sound like you want something out of it,your just coming there to spend more time with him..and you won't look desperate!!have fun
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): Too soon, guys like the chase, you are making it too easy for him and he will question that you are easy to get for any guy, even though this is not the case. Let him visit you first. I know I would like the man to make the sacrifice and show me that he wants to be with me than me making the sacrifice first. Why do you have to go first? You have already been there , its his turn - it will also show you how genuine hi sfeelings are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): In my own opinion, it doesn't seem sound desperate. well ok a little. but don't get me wrong. We all have our own stupid moments. possibly this could be yours. but we have all the right to commit mistakes, once in awhile. Otherwise, you could be an angel or something but not human,Honey, its ok. but before you do that, set your mind first.remember your not him, how u feel for him doesn't mean its exactly how he feels for you.It could be different. So if its not so successful, the way you thought it might be or no matter how successful it might look like during your visit, prepare for AFTER THE VISIT how Things could be. It might make him feel more into you or the other way around..You know what i'm saying. Change is inevitable. Just be ready for it. Its ok to visit him but prepare for the worst after and expect the best as well. Good luck..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2012): Relax, consider it a fun way to see the more of the city, enjoy his company and make a new friend. It is possibly safer you go to his city, so you get to see his part of the world, and let him entertain you. Let him suggest when you visit etc. This is better than him coming to your city and you having to entertain him....for the first meeting anyway.
When you visit, let him cover some of your costs if he offers, since you will have had to pay for the costs to get there. Only go, if you are happy to write off those costs, for a chance to have another weekend away.
Sounds exciting. He sounds interested.
It doesn't sound desperate, but ONLY let him INVITE YOU. Let him suggest the details....just ACCEPT HIS invitations.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (25 October 2012):
 Hi
Don't mention sex or that you aren't desperate. Leave it as is, a casual platonic friendship with a nice guy for now.Where would you stay on your visit? A hotel would be best,not his place.
Its a chance to get to know each other better,could be the start of something even if he ends up as another friend.Just don't get drunk, relax and see how it goes.
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