A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago I caught him using an app called Kik messenger talking to random girls and he denied it. He finally admitted it and we both broke down in tears. However I have given him his last chance he had vouched nothing like this will ever happen again because he loves me and he wants to propose to me. Do you think he will do it again? And was I right in giving him a last chance?Thankyou in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 December 2017):
 Do you love him? If you do then would you talk to other guys behind his back and ask them to send pictures to you? Then after seeing how much upset it caused your boyfriend would you then do it again to him? My guess is your answer is you wouldn't. So why allow him to treat you like this? You are both still young and it looks like he is not ready for a committed relationship. You need to show him he cannot treat women like this, off course he is going to keep hiding things from you because he is getting away with it. If you keep forgiving him you are showing him it is okay and you are also going to be left with no confidence. The smartest thing you can do is end things and never allow anyone to treat you like this.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Yes, I think he will do it again and no, you should never have given him a "last chance ".
Everybody makes mistakes and everybody deserves a second chance. But nobody deserves a third one !, because once should be enough to correct oneself. If they don't , it means that either they just cannot change whatever there's to change,- or simply that they are not interested in changing it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Yes of course he will keep doing it.
Why would he stop? You're enabling his actions. How can he have 2 final chances? Surely final chance means one more after being caught the initial time? And you've already gone against that so he knows you're a pushover.
Break up with him. Why even wonder if he will keep doing it? Once is enough.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 December 2017):
 I have a question for YOU: do you want to spend the next few years of your life (however long your relationship with this guy lasts, in whatever format it might take), wondering what he is up to and feeling insecure? You already know what he does. He will not change, sweetheart. And please don't listen to the "proposal" bullsh!t because that is just to distract you from what he has done (and is doing).
I am sure you know you deserve to be treated better than this. You have already given him 2 chances. He will assume he will just get round you every time he is caught. Prove him wrong and dump his sorry backside. Then find yourself someone who is happy with YOU and wants to keep YOU happy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2017): Will he cheat again?
Yes.
Over and over.
Why?
Because he thinks he has you under lock and key.
Meaning you love him enough to keep him. And he can keep cheating on you because he knows you won't leave him. He knows exactly how to play you. It's worked so far. And he will keep doing it. For as long as you let him.
It's up to you to put a stop to his unacceptable behaviour by leaving him. For good.
That will teach him that there are repercussions to his actions.
You have the power, my dear.
Not him.
He can always find some easy skank to bang but he will never find another YOU ever again.
Sadly for him, that's the price he has to pay.
Cheating is unacceptable. It cuts deep. There is nothing worse.
He has proven he does not give a shit about your precious and fragile heart. He has shown he will walk all over that beautiful heart of yours to get what HE wants. You gave him the most vulnerable part of you to safeguard and to protect. Instead he started talking to other girls without giving you a second thought. He is not your knight in shining armour. He is NOT worthy of you!!
This boy is immature. He is selfish. He is ruled by his dick and hormones. You are in two different places relationship wise. This happens a lot in your age group. Girls mature much quicker while boys do not. Don't feel bad about that because some boys never mature, even when they become men! Okay, make that most! Not sure what's wrong with men but so many are perpetual skirt chasers at any age or stage of life.
He needs to be alone. He doesn't know the worth or value of a good woman. He might go through life never knowing. Why waste your time on this immature, sneaky, thoughtless, cheating loser boy?
You just can't make a boy into a man.
You are young. You have many opportunities still ahead of you. Don't tie yourself down to this one. He isn't tying himself down to you.
Live life. Meet new people. Hang with friends. Do new things. You've got so much to look forward to. This guy is only dragging you down and draining you emotionally. Don't let him!
Tell him it's over, sweetie. And stick to your guns. You're stronger than you think.
You can do it.
It's only going to get worse if you hang on. Just cause you love him doesn't mean he's the right guy for you. Cause he isn't.
Sometimes love is all about letting go.
Hugs.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Yes and yes.
This is not a case of succumbing to temptation once in the heat of the moment. This is a pattern of behaviour over a period of time after having already once been caught.
He's not ready to settle down. He just wants the security of knowing you'll always be there with the freedom of a bachelor.
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A
female
reader, Beets  +, writes (10 December 2017):
 He knows that you will tolerate anything. Why? Because you find out he's lying to you, you throw a fit, then you weaken and allow him to come back. He knows you'll put up with anything!
Stop believing his words. You cannot believe them. Trust his actions. His actions say, "I can do whatever I want, cry and promise to never do it again, and she believes ANYTHING!"
We've all been there, or at least I have. As much as it hurts, cutting off all contact with him is the answer. It will help you to heal and move forward and away from him. He doesn't see the need to be faithful to you. Give him the gift of his freedom, and you heal your heart before it becomes more damaged than it already is.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Truth me told you guys are really young. I don't think you guys are in a space to be considering marriage just yet. Thankfully, it seems he hasn't physically cheated on you, so I can assume he's trying but it probably will happen again. Not necessarily because he wants to but because he's at an age where he wants to do more and see more and have more and try more. How many girlfriends has he had? How many girls has he had sex with besides you? How many experiments has he tried? Unfortunately, he may just need some time to experience life. Women tend to be about emotion, so you probably may really be ready for marriage with him but men are more about physicality so that may be a bit hard a young age.
Think taking a kid to a ball pit but tell him not to jump in. One occasion you catch him dipping his feet in or paying with one or two balls. It's not that he can't resist the pit, It's just hard and at such a young age when he's been to a ball pit like only once in his life. He's wants to play a bit more. He's not at a settling-down mode yet.
We tend to lose what we cling to.
Enjoy what you have with him now.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Yes, he is going to KEEP trying to cheat AS LONG as you KEEP dating him. He will just get better at hiding it. Come on...
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"
The guy is an immature twat that doesn't REALLY want a serious relationship, he wants a GF and to be single to do whatever he wants too - However, that is JUST not how it works!
You are 18-21 - don't consider marriage, OP and CERTAINLY not with a guy who can't even be faithful, honest OR respects you.
There is plenty of time ahead of you for marriage.
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