A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 25 best friend is 29. So I have been really good friends with an American man for about 12 years now, we met online and were penpals , we have emailed nearly every day for 12 years and always ring each other and there for each other if we were going through a tough time break ups etc and met each other about 5 times in person as I live in Ireland . But we know each other inside out. There was never talk of us having a relationship. We were best friends always here for each other . I got married 4 years ago and things went pear shaped for 3 years with me and my husband we were fighting we could not get along and we decided to separate. 2 months after separating my best friend urged me to come to him for 2 weeks to chill and forget about my life crashing cause it's all we talked about . So I did. I met him at the airport he brought me to his parents place where I've been before and everything felt normal between us . We had our normal chats laughs and he also brought me out a few times to just have fun and be stupid at the bars and clubs. But I felt something was a little different, he would do things like rubbing my shoulder . Pating my back offering foot massages if I layed on his bed . Caressing my face when we sat by the porch at night drinking beer and when I was going on about my problems . He would also get pissed off if I told him what a mess I am . He also kept telling me how beautiful I am something he's never said before if anything he would say you look great or fab never beautiful. He was also saying I should move here and start fresh and suggested us getting an apartment together that it would be good for me to get a new start. Then on my second last night there we watched a movie he went to his bedroom I went to mine . 15 minutes later he knocked on the door and came in with a glass of water and he said I thought I heard you coughing. He closed the door behind him. Sat on the bed I sat up beside him and he sighed I asked him what's up. He says ''seeing you hurt has really affected me lately , I just hate seeing you upset I know you so well and care a lot more for you then you could ever imagine it's hard to show you my feelings when your miles away'. He looked at me I looked at him and he leaned in to kiss me so I kissed him back. It was slow passionate , but strange as this was my best friend for 12 years I was kissing for the first time ever , just to be sure in between kissing we would look at each other and smile knowing it was ok to do this then he began to strip me I unbuttoned his shirt and we just ended up having really slow amazing passionate sex after we finished he climbed off of me cuddled me and said I love you so much and kissed my cheek and I told him I love you too. When I woke up I couldn't believe he was ever capable of making love like that , when i got up he was in the kitchen making me and his mother breakfast, and he gave me a cheeky grin when I sat down. When we got alone he sat beside me in the living room and was like 'so last night was probably the most hottest thing I ever did ever and I'm so glad it happened with my best friend I can't believe we did that. I asked him is things between us gonna change now?! and he said no we are best friends last night confirmed a lot for me I feel it's deepened my feelings a lot now it's hard to explain. I didn't know how to reply because i wasn't sure what he meant exactly. That night when his family were gone out and we were watching mindless tv he cuddled up closer to me and put his arm around me and it felt so nice. After a while he started stroking my face and kissing my neck I said what are you doing he smiled and leaned forward we then started kissing we didn't have sex we we just giggled throughout it and just layed there kissing for 20 minutes trying different things with our tongue and lips until he heard the front door and quickly got up in case his family noticed. That night he asked me if we could just sleep next to each other so he cuddled me till we slept and joked and laughed like always. Next morning he brought me to the airport kissed me goodbye and told me to call him when I got home, that was Monday and since then he has been talking about meeting in the next few weeks that he needs to see me before Christmas when I asked him what's the rush , he says you'll see and laughs and says just trust me it's something good and something I should have showed you years ago. He won't tell me what it is and everytime I ask he says it's a surprise. Since my trip I feel I can't stop thinking about him it's not a rebound I generally feel I have feelings towards him but I'm afraid I'll ruin our friendship. When he comes here I want to tell him but I don't know if it's a good idea. I really care about him and I love him. He's gone really affectionate and way more caring and ringing me 6 times a day it's different but I'm afraid he loves me as a friend and I'm picking it up wrong. What should I do?
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best friend, christmas, I love you, kissing, met online Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (13 December 2017):
 If you like him then why not just go for it? It's worth a shot.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (13 December 2017):
 I think he likes you more than a friend. I know you are afraid off getting hurt but just give it a chance and see what happens, you both have kept up a great friendship even from such long distance between you both so you deserve it to each other to give yourself a chance.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2017): Most people don't sleep with people they consider 'just friends'.You two have been friends for a long time, it may be he has had deeper feelings than that but has been content to let that go as you were taken and he didn't want to hurt his friendship with you either.He is sending out some pretty strong signals here and you are receiving them pretty clearly it seems. You two shared something very passionate and lovely and which it seems you both wish to continue.What is stopping you? You both already gave into that once and admitted that you have feelings for each other that extend beyond platonic friendship.People don't fly half way across the world to surprise friends, especially not ones they have made love to and expressed romantic feelings for.Give it a go, just agree that whatever hapoens, your friendship stays intact.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (10 December 2017):
Do what your heart tells you, I doubt you're reading him wrong. If you've been great friends for so long it could be the beginning of a good relationship. If not, you'll find a way to maintain your friendship.
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