A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello ladies, got a question for you, I was seeing this woman, she left me for another guy, OK, five years later we started to see each other again, she did it again, with a friend in a band, now he dumped her and she is trying to talk to me, am I doing the right thing , I don't act like, I see her, she grab my arm tonight, it was our favorite band to dance to, I don't think she deserves any respect from me, or should I be her friend,like nothing ever happened, thank you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 December 2017):
 You are right she doesn't deserve any respect from you therefore you should stand your ground and not let anyone treat you the way that she has done. It is hard enough to forgive someone for cheating once, but twice just goes to far. She will never change so it is best you have no contact and ignore her if she tries to talk to you. Show her you are worth more than she is treating you.
A
female
reader, Bonniet  +, writes (11 December 2017):
I'm sorry you have been through this.
I think this person seems to feel it is ok to just pick up where she has left from when ever it suits her.
She obviously has not forgot you to let it happen 5 years later.Sometimes people like this get bored in their life and look for excitement they can become selfish and not think of the person that this may affect.
I think with people like this there comes a time where you have to put your foot down.
As much as you may like her she shouldn't treat you the way that she is.Its not fair and its not nice for you. She has done this twice so it just shows she is only thinking of herself and nothing more.
...............................
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (11 December 2017):
Have you no self respect? This woman has dumped you twice and you need to ask strangers what you should do? For the love of heaven you’re an adult not some love sick tween. Act like it.
...............................
A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (10 December 2017):
 You sound like a very nice guy and that's why she probably keeps coming back to you because she knows you are nice and would never tell her off, or to go fly a kite. I think she has made it abundantly clear that she doesn't respect you. She doesn't sound like much of a catch in the friend-department either. Plus why did your "friend" hook up with her if you were seeing her?You're the guy she goes to when she's single or wants someone to make her feel better about herself, but I'm not getting the impression she wants much from you other than a shoulder or maybe a one night-stand. Tell her exactly what you said in your letter here "I don't think you deserve any respect from me" and walk away. Make her your past. Women who walk all over you like that do it because they believe you also allow others to walk all over you.It may feel weird for you to such a thing, but trust me, she WILL respect you much more and maybe even find you more attractive. Plus you'll feel loads better. But don't bother with her anymore, she doesn't sound like a great person, find a better woman.All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Nope, she should be on you "Oh Heck no, never again list!"
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Don't let her go for round 3, OK?
I wouldn't even pretend that she is a "friend" - an acquaintance I rather not be around. THAT is what I would relegate her too. I would also BLOCK her number and remove her from all social media so she can't make contact that way.
You are her rodeo clown. Basically. When she doesn't have a "better option", YOU can entertain her. Which means it's NOT you she wants to be with, but you WILL do in a pinch until she finds "better". Who wants to be that?
Just cut her off and out of your life.
Don't be so desperate for a partner that you will settle for this.
...............................
A
male
reader, Rhinocerous +, writes (10 December 2017):
 “I don’t think she deserves any respect from me.” It seems like you’ve answered your own question, and I agree with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 December 2017):
 Come on man, do you really need to ask this?
She uses you until something better comes along, grow a back bone and tell her to piss off. I think this is more a case of you not respecting yourself and keep letting her back in.
...............................
A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (10 December 2017):
You are plan b my friend. She'll exploit the fact you like her and then drop you when something better comes along. Sounds pretty unpleasant to me. If you can live with it then carry on but don't expect her to change.
...............................
|
