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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi I am a male aged 25 , I have been with my gf for almost 2 years , I am studying abroad so we are in a LDR for like a year , yesterday I went out and I was with my friend there and he talked to a girl and I was his wingman and started talking with the friend of hers so that he can be alone with that girl we danced normally and when the time came so that she can go home she asked me to give her my number so we can contact and meet again and I told her that I have a girlfriend and I am really sorry but I dont want to take anything further and then she said okay I have to go now and wanted to hug me I approached to hug her and she kissed me really fast and I shouted NOOO and then I told her that she shouldnt do that and that was wrong she told me that she also had a boyfriend but she really liked me , I dont have any contact with this girl and I know it was mostly her part but I feel shitty , should I tell my gf about this or not ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2017): Yes. If you respect your girlfriend then you tell her about the things that happen in your life and the thoughts that run through your head.
You've not done anything to 'cheat' so this isn't about blame. But if you stop sharing concerns with her then you'll cause a wedge to open up between you.
Aunt Honesty started her post to you 'honestly...' If a remote aunt you've never met can open up and be frank with you from the outset, why would you want to go about your life in such a way that you can't even open up to your own girlfriend?
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 December 2017):
 Honestly it is up to you what you tell her and what you don't but personally I would have to tell my husband, I would feel it eating me up inside if I didn't.
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A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (11 December 2017):
 No, you've done nothing wrong, you didn't initiate this kiss, so there is nothing to explain or apologise for. I would simply forget about this episode, your girlfriend has a good man!
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (11 December 2017):
 No, I think this would cause more harm than good.
Unless you had inhuman reactions then I really don't think you could of avoided that kiss. But in future maybe don't put yourself into the situation where things like that might happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2017): In a long-distance situation; NO, you do not tell your girlfriend about some ambush. I repeat...NO!!!
You will upset her unnecessarily; and then you will have to explain why you had to be some guy's wing-man, and why was it your responsibility to babysit some full-grown woman?
It appears to be set-up like a double-date. If you ask me, your friend was setting you up for a blind-date. That extra friend was invited on purpose.
Your slick buddy knows the last thing you should be doing is spending time alone with some random-female out on the town. Then you claim you were ambushed with a kiss. Not too many females I know would want to be told some woman tried to kiss her man! The question would be, why were you there in the first place? Why were you going to hug her? That's suspicious!
Now use your logic. You will have a hard-time convincing your girl-friend you didn't enjoy it. She will not trust you when you go out; because you will be a guy without a date. You will have to consistently ward-off amorous and tipsy females; until someone eventually wears you down. You avoid temptation!
BTW... a hug was also unnecessary! You extend a hand for a handshake, and that establishes a boundary. You feel shitty because you wanted to kiss her. She felt your vibe!
In that young lady's mind, a bird in the hand is worth two in a long-distance relationship. She will test your loyalties and she has already let you know she likes you. She now has an excuse to try again.
I suggest you find another friend to hangout with; or tell your friend if he needs time with a girl alone, don't bother inviting you along! I'm a bit intuitive, and the "NOOOOO" meant "yes." Just your being there alone with her was a subtle come-on! You offered her a challenge, and now it's cat and mouse.
If you don't want to get yourself into trouble, don't insert yourself into situations where you're drinking and alone with single-women.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 December 2017):
 No, you don't HAVE to tell your GF.
You didn't go for the kiss. You did TELL her you didn't want to take it further, you didn't want her number etc. YOU did ALL the right things. The GIRL on the other hand... didn't. She wanted to push the envelope because you rejected her.
But I would tell your LRD GF about it. And if you want to tell her, do it sooner rather than later.
One thing though.. the whole yelling NOOOOO, a little overdramatic? I'd leave that out of the story........
If you don't want to tell her, then don't. However, as you did nothing wrong I think the best thing to do is be honest.
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