A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:every one i know including my family thinks i am unintelligent just because i can not drive a car. Ive tried and tried and just cant grasp it. i have not even made it past the permit part yet because the test to me is so confusing and the answers all sound the same. plus i freak out any time i even practice driving in a filed or a parking lot. im just not good at it! i see other people my age driving and fill like im being left behind. i want to live a life with out the hassle of having to drive. i live in a small town so there is no public transportation which is sad for me. one of my greatest s fears is not being able to get a decent date because shell expect me to do all the the driving. im afraid if i say i cant she may drift away from me. my parents are still pressuring me to get a license. they just don't understand that it is impossible for me to Drive! i would fear for my life on the road and i love living. im going to take the permit test again in a few days but know i will fail. even if i did driving the car is another thing all together. i just feel like such a loser right now! by darn it if i wanted a cheese burger from MacDonald s i could walk and get one if need be. yet every one i know says that is weird and strange for a person to walk through town because no one else does. i feel like such a freak. like im being left behind. that the world is moving on with out me. there are two main questions i would like for who ever reads this to answer. is it possible to live happily in a small town where i live with out being able to drive? and will i be able to get dates with out learning? because i am a very loving person and grave for some one to love yet i fear that will not happen if i can not take that girl where every she needs to go. i fear she will become bored with me. or not date me at all if she figures out i cant drive which she would. im still trying to learn but if i cant is there away to make it thorough life independently without having to drive? i will love any in site any one has to give. if you do you are a wonderful person most likely. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): OP I failed my drivers test 2 times, got it on my 3rd attempt.
I am the worse driver I know .
Don't worry, u Will learn.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 July 2011):
Being nervous will do that to you, OP. I don't think you are a bad driver. But nerves screw up a lot of things. It makes a huge difference in your performance. I remember getting out of the car sore after every lesson because I tensed up so much during the ride. I wanted to succeed so badly, yet I screwed up all the time and I would beat myself up for that, resulting in more tension... I couldn't park worth a damn and steering and changing gears was a problem during that time.
After I got my permit I took my first drive on my own on a sunday afternoon, when there was little traffic. Because I was relaxed it all went very well. So try to be relaxed when you drive. Take some of those calming pills from a nature shop if that helps you. Maybe even do a workout before, to take the edge off. Others have given you good tips to gain more confidence in driving, try to do that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): Next time you go in an open field to practice, get some cones or objects to add meaning to your practice rather than just driving around. Weave in and out of things or set up a "parking space". Take it slow and keep practicing. If you screw it up, try again. No onea judging you. Dont have such an "i cant do it attitude". Yes you can. Practice makes perfect!
And yes you can get through life without driving - but dont give up on yourself your so young.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsome great responses so far! i was forced to practice driving in a filed today. i have a terrible tendency to ether press on the gas to hard or two light. also i can not steer that well. it is hard to estimate how far i need to turn. i also tend to freak out some times and not even pay attention to what im dong. i am no multitask er that's for sure.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 July 2011):
 Driving is a useful skill not just for YOURSELF but for others.
What if someday there is an emergency and you need to get somewhere fast?
What if you are riding with a friend and they become ill?
What if you are on a roadtrip with friends, and you are the only one that can not share in the driving.
Find a good driving school, let them know your fears and which parts of driving you do not "get".
It really is not that hard. I was extremely nervous and did not get my license until I was 19, but did not really drive until I was 22. I gave myself small tasks to build my confidence and skills.
Drive to the grocery store 2 blocks away. The Library 6 blocks away. A friends house, etc.
Driving helped me become more independant/self reliant.
Before I knew it, I was on road trips and now think nothing of going into the city of San Francisco, which used to be so intimidating 20 years ago, I would cry.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (9 July 2011):
 My grandmother didn't learn to drive until she was in her mid-50's. Driving terrified her, and she was happy with the bus and the train.
You being in a small town, it might be slightly tougher. Think of the bright side of your plight. You walk a lot to where you want to go. You've got to be in great shape!
Just be honest with the girl you date and tell her about your issues with driving. That won't make a girl bored with you, especially if she likes driving. Just help her pay for gas, and she's good to go!
BTW...walks together are really romantic. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): I have the same problem. I am 26 and have a master's degree, but I couldn't pass the driver's test. I tried 3 times. I know many people who passed the test after more than 5 tries, but I couldn't afford to keep trying.Theoretically I know how to drive and all the traffic rules, but when I get behind the wheel it's like something in my brain gets blocked. My instructor must have thought I was retarded, lol. I'm sure I could drive an automatic, but they don't have them in the country I currently live in. Fortunately I live in a small town where everything is within walking distance plus there is public transportion.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 July 2011):
My friend is engaged to a guy who cannot drive. His eyesight isn't too great and he simply doesn't feel safe on the road. He's tried to get a driver's licence, but failed each time. My friend doesn't mind. She knows of his struggles and she happily drives him around where he needs to go because she likes driving. He has other things he's very good at, where she isn't so they're like ying/yang.
As a girl I would never turn down a guy because he can't drive. The idea that the guy should do all the driving is ridiculous to me anyway. I have a drivers licence, but no car. I can't afford one, not while paying for my studies at Uni. So I go by public transportation or I take my bike. I drive my dad's car when I can but that's not too often because he has a fulltime job.
Getting my drivers licence was a tough thing for me too. I lived in a country where parking spaces are practically half the size of those in the US and the streets are packed with cars. I was very nervous and I hate it when people watch my every move, so I screwed up because of that. I failed the test 2 times before I got it right. After that it started to make sense.
When you have your permit, the anxiety lessens because the pressure is gone. Sure, you might feel unsure the first few times you drive on your own, but that will pass and because there's no-one to criticize your every move you can take your time and get comfortable on your own pace. When I first started taking lessons, I thought I was never going to be able to drive. Now I look back and wonder why I was so anxious. So try to get your head up. Ask your family for tips. Try to think positively: it's just a test. If you don't get it, no problem. Try to ease the pressure.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (9 July 2011):
 I didn't get my license until I was 23 years old - and that was only because I was offered a job and I was "strongly advised" to have my own car and learn how to drive. I got my license and two days later, I moved to Houston, Texas, the fourth-biggest city in the US.
But if you get a job in a very large city, like NYC, then you can always rely on the subway. I have a friend who works in Chicago and she doesn't have a license; she just relies on public transportation. Getting a driver's license is important in terms of getting the right job, but it's not essential.
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male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (9 July 2011):
 You have something in common with about 3/4ths of the people living in New York City and Chicago.
While not learning how to drive may limit your access to certain opportunities, it does not mean that you will be a prisoner. You can make due and in the mean time keep trying and you will eventually get it.
I learned to drive in a cemetary and in an open parking lot - it took me 4 years but now I am a seasoned pro with stuff far bigger than your regular car or truck.
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