A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is my partner with me when there are so many better looking women out there?I don't get it, its not just me and my partner. I see some men/women date and marry people who are rather unattractive, when they can be out there dating someone gorgeous. My partners ex was amazing and sexy and has been married twice I cant even get my partner to propose. I am a virgin and not very experienced. My life is just crap. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (19 June 2011):
Okay, I see 3 issues:
#1. You seem insecure about your looks and feel like you're dating someone out of your league. Lose that. There's no such thing as a league, not in the real world. Your boyfriend picked you for a reason. Just because his ex was sexy doesn't mean she was nice. The fact she has two failed marriages on her track record could be evidence of that.
#2. You're still a virgin so I take it that either you want to wait for sex till marriage or because you two haven't been together for very long.
Can you tell me which is the case?
#3. You want him to propose but he hasn't yet.
Men are notorious for not picking up hints. Have you talked to him about marriage? How does he feel about it? Maybe his ex's track record scared him. Why do you want to marry? How long have you two known each other? There are so many questions I need answers to before I can give any sound advice.
#4. You are unhappy. You have a boyfriend who apparently is good looking enough to pick girls who are in your opinion prettier or sexier than you. But he picked YOU. Why is your life crap?
Look, the truth behind most of these 'mismatched' relationships is that the personality of that physically less attractive person compensates A LOT. I know this sounds like a cliche but I've often preferred average looking guys over the pretty ones because of their personality and the way they carried themselves. The novelty of beauty wears of quickly when that person isn't pleasant.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Love isnt all about looks to people ..its about having a relationship that is based on trust,communication ect .. If love was based on looks i asure you that relationship wouldnt last ..wouldnt you want a friendship aswell as a relationship ? Where to people can actually hold a conversation ? or is a relationship based on a sexual/attraction note to you ? Id rather be in a relationship where i have somewhat something in common with my partner ..i wouldnt want to be in relationship where he only wants me cos im "Gorgeous" ..okay i see where your coming from ..but dont you think thats a little naive ?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Maybe because they aren't shallow and see past a person's looks?A personality and compatibility with someone is much more important than looks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Yes, because love is only about appearances. (that was sarcasm) Listen, there's something he loves about you or else he wouldn't be with you, whether its outside or inside. I mean his ex girlfriend could be a total b*tch or a cheater or shallow or something. I get that your probably upset when you wrote this, but come on. Your life doesn't suck. You have someone who loves you. You have someone who cares. You have someone who chose you over all the other girls out there. And if you have someone who loves you than you must have some good qualities. Your probably not ugly. you must be funny or nice or have some quality that makes him want to be with you over all other people. And lets say you break up, if someone loved you once, someone can love you again.There are worse things that could happen, so be happy with what you have.
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