A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 39 and have never been able to get a job, so I have never been able to find love. And am still a virgin! Why do women care sooooooo much about this job thing? Why can't I be the one who does the housework and take the kids to school ect. ect.I thought women wanted to take over the world, girl power and all that! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): why would a woman want to be with a man who has no money,no goals, no drive, no motivation, no skills, no future.
I have money - too much to sign on.
Future - I am not dead yet.
drive- I work out 3 times a week.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): WOW.
I can only say that, WOW.
Ok, why would a woman want to be with a man who has no money,no goals, no drive, no motivation, no skills, no future.
Sounds like a winner to me...
Would you like to date someone like you???? Cmon
You sound like you have a welfare mentality. Anyone can get a job, sometimes you just have to lower your standards. Ever thought of volunteering. Long term unemployed find it hard to get work because no employer wants to employ a person with no work ethics, which is obviously what you lack.
Time to grow up I would say.You know what they say, you get out of life what you put in, and quite frankly, you're not putting a hell of a lot in.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (19 June 2011):
 having a job shows a woman that you have pride in yourself to want to work for your crust rather than have it handed to you. its what real grown up men do, since the beginning of time women have always been attracted to the hunter-gatherers, it shows us that the man can feed us and our young. it shows us that the man is intelligent, has respect for himself and for authority. although we can fantasise about the wild non-conformist romantic types - they are not really capable of keeping a roof over our heads.
so although you may not agree with womankind's view on the unemployed/unemployable man, you need to get used to it i think coz i cannot see it changing any time soon.
good luck with the job hunting
x
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A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (19 June 2011):
I live in a very small village and I have to travel atleast 2 hours to get anywhere. I work two jobs. One from at home, one in a clothing store while. At the same time I'm getting fulltime education to ensure my future. I'm an average girl, nothing special. I'm not more resourceful or intelligent than those around me. If I can do it, you can as well, unless you have some kind of disability that stops you.
Don't ever judge circumstances like location as the reason why you can't find a job. In third world countries, people learn that if you don't make your own future--any future-- you are going to lose at the game of life. Their extreme circumstances push them to be resourceful.
If the job doesn't come to you, you go somewhere where you can find one. I'm currently saving up money to move to the city, where I won't be bogged down by travel time anymore. If you can't save money, then try to move to a city and work in a hotel. You can often strike a deal where your living arrangements will be on them and they pay you less. But then you can save until you can get a place of your own.
And I know this is cliche, but watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5OookwOoY
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 You could have MOVED. As millions of people from underdeveloped areas have done before you, and are still doing TODAY - and I am not necessarily talking about Third World countries.
The jobs do not " come " to you : you go after them.
Apparently this is a new concept to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): I did work when I first left school , I did a 40 hour week for two years. It was not a real job, but what was know in the UK as a Y.T.S . It ended when I was 18 and then the UK went into a downturn. NO JOBS!!!!!! I live in the North East of England, and there are lots of others like me who where put on the scarp heap as young men.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (19 June 2011):
You are not a young man struggling to find your first job, or a man who is within jobs, temporarily unemployed.
You are a 39 years old guy who has never been able to get a job. Never in the last 20 years or so.
Pardon me but this would sound downright sinister to anybody, male or female, rich or poor.
Maybe I am being ungenerous , maybe the explanation for this is that you have some severe disability or physical/mental/social challenge that makes you totally unemployable, and if this is the case I apologize . But since you don't mention anything , I have to assume that you are a regular guy , able of body and mind- and yet you never could / would get a job in your twenty plus years of adulthood.
Creepy.
And for once I think there is no gender biased double standard here.
I think any sensible man would be very wary of marrying a 39 y.o. woman who has never worked a day in her life.
It's different, of course, if she is a young girl who gets married just out of high school and decides she 'll be a young mom and housewife. Or, au contraire, if she is a qualified , educated woman who has been working and decides , in agreement with her husband, that she'll LEAVE her job to only devote herself to her home and kids.
But, a mature woman without any working experience ever ? Most men would be suspicious, would ask themselves : WHY ? Where' s the catch ? ...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): I have to agree with the first female anon. Personally I'd have no problem at all with a man who would prefer to be a house husband. However I wouldn't be willing to financially support and pay for everything for a guy I'd recently met or even been dating for a few months. If he wasn't even slightly financially secure himself I'd be worried he was with me for money and basically using me as a meal ticket. I'd also be worried that he was just plain lazy and I'd end up doing the cleaning/cooking when I got home from work while he just sat around.If we'd been together for a few years and when kids came along or something he then stopped work, that would be fine.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Yes I know what you mean about rich women will only go for men with steady jobs!!!! I can not understand this at all, why do they care if they have all that money. Why is it that women can not like a man with out a job. It`s like all women are gold diggers. I am glad I know nothing about women because most of them today do not seem very nice people. I am even being got at here for still being a virgin ! I think women still want to be pulled into a cave my thier hair by a cavemen, as long as he's got a job !!!!
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Whoa, whoa, whoa... Some of these answers are very upsetting to me. Firstly, I love how CupidBoy's response is entirely insulting, saying that women want their own money, but never want to shell it out. That is going based upon a horrible stereotype, which is simply not true. Sure, there are women out there who are like that, but some of us, including myself, have no problem reciprocating spending while dating. I have no problem picking up the tab and I always (ALWAYS) offer to pay my share. So, don't assume all women are freeloading buttholes. We aren't.
Secondly, someone said something about "financial security", which again holds up a gender stereotype that women need a man to support them and make them feel secure. Wrong. Many women are career minded and value their financial independence, which means we couldn't give two sh!ts about you being the sole bread winner.
So, when I begin dating a man, why do I want to know whether or not he's employed? Being chronically unemployed can send off a few signals about a man's personality: he is lazy; he has a bad attitude which gets him fired; he lacks drive and ambition. All three are very unattractive. Just as a man gets irritated when a woman is a total freeloader while dating, so do women. I like to see a man working in a field he is passionate about and knowledgable in. I like to see his drive to succeed and his willingness and ambition to achieve goals. It isn't about stealing his money. It's about seeing a well rounded, hardworking man and admiring those very qualities, which I hope come out in my personality. Employment signifies a sense of independence and strength.
However, I'm guessing there are other reasons as to why you have yet to meet a woman. Some women do look beyond it. So examine yourself before you blame the female population.
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A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Just because someone wants or attains power doesn't mean they want the responsibilities that go with it. Women want to serve in the army but don't ever want to be drafted. They want to earn their own money but don't want to pay for themselves, much less anyone else, on a date. Preferring employed guys is not even about seeking financial security, as someone said, because even rich women will only go for men with steady jobs. That's just how it is. In this society, trying to find a wife before finding a job is like putting the cart before the horse.
I'd guess that if men suddenly cared a lot about women's jobs and income level, and just wouldn't date a girl who was a lowly waitress or who lived with her parents, women would find that very unfair. And a lot of them would end up alone, as you have.
Is all this unfair to you? Yes. Can you do anything to change it? No. I'd suggest doing some self-examination and asking why you have never had a job at 39. Is it fear of the outside world? Poor interviewing skills? Anxiety or depression? Chronic fatigue? When you find out, you will have something more important to work on than finding a woman.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (18 June 2011):
 If you dont have a job then how do you afford rent, bills, food, clothes? I can only assume that you still live with your parents and get an allowance or you are on benefits. Or if you are lucky, you have inherited a big fortune.Personally, I am only attracted to men who are passionate about their career and actually do something constructive with their day. If I wanted someone to take care of the housework I would hire a clener.You are still a virgin because you obviously know nothing about women.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): You've never had a job so you don't have a house to clean. And since you're a virgin, you don't have any kids so there is no one to take to school.
What exactly do you plan to contribute to a relationship in the meantime?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Although women like to be independent, most women want to feel secure both physically and financially. By you not having a job, there is no financial stability, which reflects on the future.
Try looking online for a job, or at your job centre. Perhaps when you have a job, women will be more open to you. Then, when in a stable relationship, you could make the suggestion of being a house husband
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