| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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Newest answer was posted
30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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How is sexual pleasure related to using tampons?
Q. I have been using tampons for about 6 months now. No one has fingered me, or given me oral and i have not had sex. So many people say that you are sensitive in your vagina. If this is so, why doesn't it feel "nice" when you move a tampon in or out...
A. 9 January 2008: i'm not sure if you still mean in the inserter or just post-insertion, cause tampons are pretty dry, it's probably like rubbing straight cardboard up there, sorry for being graphic! you can experiment if you're feeling comfortable, and feel the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my best friend who is homosexual that I'm falling for him? I'm afraid of my confession ruining the friendship.
Q. i have a gay best friend, and i think im starting to fall for him. i know he had previous girlfriends but its men that really interest him. should i tell him that i'm falling for him? but im afraid of being rejected and i dont want to lose our ...
A. 8 January 2008: I kinda think nothing good will come of this..if he is exclusively interested in men, there is no point in telling him that you're interested. it sounds like he dated women cause it was expected of him not because he wanted to. you're just going to ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that I'm not as knowledgeable as him?
Q. Dear Cupid: I met a guy at my college about 9 months ago. He is very well spoken and knowledgeable about a lot of social issues. He's quite an activist and I love that about him. Good signs right? The problem is that he intimidates me. ...
A. 8 January 2008: I tend to think (from my own experience) that discomfort in terms of feeling intellectually inferior NEVER go away, but I don't want to be a downer! you could ask him to recommend some of his favorite books on the topics he's passionate about so you ... (read in full...)
I'm a straight female attracted to gay men. Am I weird?
Q. I find myself extremely turned on by gay men. Im not gay myself but i have always loved and admired homosexual people. However about six months ago I pursued a relationship with this guy and he told me he wasnt interested in me because he was gay. ...
A. 4 January 2008: it sort of sounds like you like what you can't have, except i guess if it's more of a sexual desire it must be more. maybe you can find a bi man who could share both his homo- and heterosexual lifestyles with you?... (read in full...)
My step mom told my GF horrible lies and now she has left me because of them!
Q. Guys this is my problem and why even now I think she will never call and gone for good, no way back.help! Basically 6-7 weeks ago gf left out of blue, she was with me everyday for 6 years, and here Saturday seemed normal. came round on Sunday ...
A. 4 January 2008: Okay..take a deep breath and go to your girlfriend's house and convince her to please hear your side of the story, it's horrible of her to not even trust you to say your peace. Tell her you were sexually abused (that's what that is, with that age ... (read in full...)
The boy I like didn't want to date me, his silence makes me very self-conscious about my appearance!
Q. Well i guess that proves im ugly........this guy that i really really like moved to bainville and he was supposed to answer my question about goin back out with me........and he didnt tell me anything about him moving!!!! And what i dont get is that ...
A. 3 January 2008: if you can't forget this guy who supposedly ran from town from you, you could always try calling him and say you wanted to know where he's went off to because you're concerned and care about him. then you'll get your explanation. Nobody leaves town ... (read in full...)
Why if he says he likes me, he does not ask me out?
Q. Hi I have a great boy mate who I also have a big crush on. We get along really great and tease and flirt constantly. One of his friends told me he fancied me and my boy mate has even hinted and confessed he does. I would love for him to ask me out ...
A. 29 December 2007: He's probably scared of rejection, or maybe he misread you and thought you wouldn't be into it, so you should express some interest and be more assertive with your feelings toward him. As for your shyness and low confidence, people who don't try to ... (read in full...)
Was I being ungrateful?
Q. This is quite strange but I will explain. For christmas this year my gf said that her brother would be purchasing me a leather jacket. She said it would make up for the past christmas's that he has missed out on buying me a present. She said it ...
A. 29 December 2007: Did your gf even actually see/smell it? It sounds like blind sibling defense, maybe she's unaware of the realities of the nasty jacket. just wear it out next time you see her and see what she thinks!!
... (read in full...)
All I do is flirt and talk sexy for harmless fun, yet he sees it as cheating. Am I mad to be with such a man?
Q. I am horrified to find my fiance has been using aliases to make dates with me on chat sites. When he found my first profile i changed it. Somehow he found my other and strung me along. I am livid. How dare he! I feel invaded, he is pathetic. Sad ...
A. 29 December 2007: Sounds like you're denial and making excuses for yourself. I think your behavior is inappropriate, because you WEREN'T just looking for friends, you were talking sexy to strangers..the fact that you're going out of the relationship for sexual ... (read in full...)
Vaginal piercings!
Q. i'm 14 and this is weird but i was having a conversation with a close guy friend of mine about piercings and i have had my belly button, nose, tongue and nipple pierced but what i want to get pierced is my clit he says if i did that it would be ...
A. 26 December 2007: For every guy that's not into it, there's a guy that probably is, and if a guy's already physically attracted to you & your other piercings then chances are he'd be more accepting, i'd bet.... (read in full...)
Why is it that people call anything they don't like by female words?
Q. So I was playing Halo with a couple of girl friends the other day,and than her boyfriend and some friends showed up,and there was this one guy that I just wanted to punch in the face. Why is it that people call anything they don't like by female w...
A. 15 December 2007: actually the legal definition of rape is man against woman.... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but?
Q. Well my boyfriend and I use to be tight and everything but lately it seems I can't do anything right....it all started out when my ex came back and told me to chose between him or my boyfriend and so I picked my boyfriend and when I told him he ...
A. 15 December 2007: It sounds to me like he was threatened by this other guy. Have you assured your bf that you are completely disinterested in the ex, and that he has nothing to worry about, or was it a difficult decision for you to choose him? If you have, maybe you ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by sending her a letter?
Q. Recently I've developed serious suspicions that my ex-girlfriend is undiagnosed with a mental illness called "Hypomania" a mild Bi-Polar disorder. At times during our relationship she herself has expressed concerns about sudden feelings she can't ...
A. 15 December 2007: I disagree with this last response because you shouldn't make anyone do what you think is best for them..it's time to step away. it may take her a long time to see her behavioral patterns as problematic, but someday she may come along and thank you ... (read in full...)
My mum yells at me, I hate her, I try to be nice, I don't know what to do?
Q. Im 13 years old. And i never thought that i could hate my own mother. And its not the hate when you get mad its the deep sincere hate that you cant fix. She yells and screams liek she owns me. And ive hated her ever since she left me and my ...
A. 7 December 2007: I disagree with these posts strongly. I think the fact that your mom is changing the way you see yourself, into a hateful person, and the fact that your mom left you at 8 is a traumatizing experience that seriously psychologically messes you up. I ... (read in full...)
Friend with benefits...Is he falling for me or was he just drunk and wanted to hookup?
Q. I have a guy friend who I used to agree to be friends with benefit 2 years ago. But but we stop for a very long time and pretend nothing happened. Recently, I started hanging out with him again. We get drunk and cuddle in his bed once a week. ...
A. 7 December 2007: i've...never heard this phrase in america!! well uh i would just wait it out, see how long his interest holds. or, maybe you could meet up with him for like, only a meal and then you'll be better able to read his signals and what he wants out of ... (read in full...)
I want to go abroad... but he says he loves me less for it!
Q. I have been having a relationship with a guy for two years and it's pretty serious upto the point of marriage.I want to go abroad for higher studies but he doesn't like it. He agreed to it reluctantly but he told me once that he loves me less ...
A. 7 December 2007: I think he may just said these things because he's hurt and interpreting your leaving as abandoning him. tell him that you have to do this for you, but that you will always be thinking of him, and will be there for him again soon. how else has he ... (read in full...)
How do I prolong ejaculation during sex?
Q. how to prolong ejaculation during sex...
A. 7 December 2007: I'm not sure why you'd want to do this anyway, it's not like the woman gets anything out of you spewing more or less sperm.. unless you mean just orgasming more than anything else, in which case...i'm not qualified to answer!... (read in full...)
How do I stop looking like a chipmunk?
Q. I'm a 5'2 16 year old girl. I weigh 102 pounds and the only problem with my body is my cheeks. They seriously make me look like a chipmunk. Is there anyway I can just make my cheeks smaller, or just make them look smaller? Pulling my hair back helps ...
A. 7 December 2007: although appearances shouldn't matter, if it really does disturb you could probably put makeup on a certain way to highlight them differently...if you have a sephora near you, or any of those little department store makeup booths, go up to them and ... (read in full...)
I think she has feelings for me....but shes doing everything she can to kill them.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2,5 years. I am 31 and she is 26. We had a great relationship until the past 6 months when she quit her job and started thinking what to do with her life. At the same time I was working really long hour...
A. 7 December 2007: sometimes i need a minute to like...articulate to myself what my issues are in a situation, rather than just going off gut feeling. respect her wishes and it may still work out.... (read in full...)
Should I accept the fact that I missed out and keep it under wraps?
Q. I met a friend of a friend "Tom" during a on/off relationship (5 years) with "rick". "Tom" pursued me, but I had "rick" baggage and was blind to how great "tom" is. After a few years, we've kept in touch and I'm all done with "rick". We all went ...
A. 7 December 2007: i think expressing interest and yet respect for the relationship is reasonable, it's not that much of an encroachment on the relationship and it's taking everyone into consideration, which is good to yourself too!... (read in full...)
How can I stop my girlfriend taking this job at a strip bar?
Q. My girlfriend took off her top at a strip bar on a dare. The manager there asked her if she’d like to work there. She said she’s thinking about it!! He told her she could make five hundred a night. She works as a waitress now, but thinks she can ...
A. 4 December 2007: i would be livid if my boyfriend tried to control my sexuality, it would show a profound lack of trust in my ability to separate taking clothes off from the deep relationship we have. why are you threatened by the consumers of the nudity? If i were ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by sending her a letter?
Q. Recently I've developed serious suspicions that my ex-girlfriend is undiagnosed with a mental illness called "Hypomania" a mild Bi-Polar disorder. At times during our relationship she herself has expressed concerns about sudden feelings she can't ...
A. 4 December 2007: I mean, worst case scenario, she will not talk to you--but she's promised to do that already! so, i mean, it can't hurt her. after this though, i really would just let her go. if she's not ready to face her issues, it's not going to work forcing her ... (read in full...)
My wife was assaulted and is now afraid to go out
Q. Dear Cupid I'm hoping you can help my wife and I. We met as childhood sweethearts and have been married for 59 years. Recently my wife was assaulted whilst doing the family shopping. She was forced to go to hospital and now she is back at home she...
A. 25 November 2007: Wait...what's your question? Are you literally asking how to help this offender, or how to help your wife? Because...I think the latter'd be best for your relationship. Maybe i'm just not understanding your phrasing well enough.... (read in full...)
My ex has just died and I don't know if I should go to the funeral, as it might upset his family
Q. My Ex boyfriend has died, I loved him very much but he never gave anything back. should I go to the funeral? his parents have only just found out he was gay, his did not take it very well. do you thunk me going to his funeral will cause more upset....
A. 25 November 2007: I'm sorry, that was a little harsh. I think it's best for you to grieve in private however. ... (read in full...)
My ex has just died and I don't know if I should go to the funeral, as it might upset his family
Q. My Ex boyfriend has died, I loved him very much but he never gave anything back. should I go to the funeral? his parents have only just found out he was gay, his did not take it very well. do you thunk me going to his funeral will cause more upset....
A. 25 November 2007: I agree- if you aren't there really to support the family but ultimately aggravate their grief then there's really no place for you to be there.... (read in full...)
My mum found out my dad has a mistress and we don't know what to do now, dad doesn't know we know about it yet
Q. My mum recently just found out that my dad has a mistress outside and is devastated. She came to talk to me about it and asked me what should she do. My dad still doesnt know that she knows. My mum is the kind that cant get over even those small is...
A. 25 November 2007: I tend to disagree with Danielepew's logic...cheating affects the whole family, and consequences obviously go beyond husband and wife when they're going to have tension about this.That said, I do agree with his sying don't get too involved--I think ... (read in full...)
There are two sides to my personality but I don't think either one is really me. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused
Q. i got two sides to me. one is fun, free loves hanging out with mates and having a laugh. cheeky and sharp. adventurous and ambitious. i like guys who are like this as well. I'm this side more in public, around ppl etc. the other side is quiet, s...
A. 25 November 2007: I'm not a doctor, but I am familiar with mental health issues {I was diagnosed with seasonal depression last winter}: sounds to me like your description reminded me a little of manic depression, or bipolarity, same thing. here's a test, see what you ... (read in full...)
I drank and had stomach problems.
Q. Help please yesterday i was drinking too much and i was sick 3 times. 2 of the times was normal sick but the last time i was sick it didnt look normal it looked like just liquid stuff but strong like acid it didnt have the normal sick stuff in it. ...
A. 19 November 2007: Maybe most of you are of a different generation or are just fairly conservative, but it'd be best not to GIVE YOURSELF ULCERS panicking about how much cancer or how badly this girls' OD is going to be. figuring out drinking limits is a part of ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'm not interested - when I really am?
Q. I am in extreme emotional distress. My friend, whom I have grown quite infatuated with, has just exited a two year relationship; she is not ready for another boyfriend. I suspect however, that she is aware of my feelings for her, for lately she has ...
A. 19 November 2007: I'd just be straight out with it and say something like hey i like you and i've liked you for a long time but i've respected your relationship with the ex and i will continue to respect you by giving you your space, but if you're interested and when ... (read in full...)
I woke up next to my bf's best friend, I cant remember anything, now he's blackmailing me for sex, what can I do?
Q. Help me please! i am so lost i have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years and love him with all my heart but on friday night i had way too much too drink and my bf went to work the next morning i woke up in bed with his best friend but i dont rem...
A. 19 November 2007: If you don't remember, you were too drunk/drugged for anything sexual, and I would tell your guy he raped you...because that's what it is. even if it sounds/looks consensual on the tape, you have to explain to your guy that that wasn't your usual ... (read in full...)
I need my mom to cut my hair she will not cut it
Q. my mother will not let me cut my hair i have aked her over 10 times and she will not listen i think i will explode if my mother does not let me cut my hair it is making me misrable i will i really need it cut!...
A. 11 November 2007: wow, i'm sorry, but this is not a problem. either cut it yourself or go to a salon if you want someone to do it for you.... (read in full...)
Tips, making love to a Terkish man
Q. Can someone tell me some tips about making love to a Turkish man? Things that are particular about them....
A. 11 November 2007: in that case i'd just ask him what is important to him, what he likes, so that you know what is appropriate given the cultural/religious background--which i still doubt will come into play much, but that's because I don't think of sex and ... (read in full...)
Why is it that people call anything they don't like by female words?
Q. So I was playing Halo with a couple of girl friends the other day,and than her boyfriend and some friends showed up,and there was this one guy that I just wanted to punch in the face. Why is it that people call anything they don't like by female w...
A. 11 November 2007: You should take a womens/gender class if you have one at the college you may attend in the future, because they'll explain that women have been historically put down verbally and culturally, which still has lasting impacts on our society today. Just ... (read in full...)
Tips, making love to a Terkish man
Q. Can someone tell me some tips about making love to a Turkish man? Things that are particular about them....
A. 9 November 2007: you really shouldn't base your sex technique on stereotype - race ethnicity nationality- it would suck if you saidd something like yea i did that cause i heard you turks like that sorta thing, way to look at the individual you're trying to take care ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me but can let an entire day without getting in contact with me? Am I hanging on too tight?
Q. I've been seeing this girl for about 4 months now continuously, we are in an odd predicament, by virtue of where we are, and who we work for in the world, we are not allowed to see each other, strictly professional. Well that did not happen, we ...
A. 6 November 2007: i'd ask her at this point what she wants in life/ in the relationship because you the imbalance of commitment or attention is negatively impacting your perception of the relationship. she'll tell you if she thinks it's going too fast, which it may ... (read in full...)
What is going on here? I want sex but he doesn't seem that interested.
Q. I love him. He says he loves me too. I want him. He says he wants me too. But we have sex only once or twice a week. He rarely initiates it and rarely has an orgasm. He says if we have sex more often it will degrade it. He says that my talking about ...
A. 1 November 2007: Hey,
Haven't gone on this site in a while, sorry for abandoning you here. I actually don't have any bad experience that would make me say what I said, but I do recognize I am young, and didn't really take into account the marriage aspect as seri... (read in full...)
A bloody mess! Should I be worried?
Q. I had sex with my girlfriend recently during her period. During the act a lot of her blood got on me. Mostly around my penis and hands. I did wear a condom and several months ago we were both tested for STD's and the results were clean. Should...
A. 1 November 2007: As long as you got tested for everything [including AIDS] you're fine. and good for you on getting tested!... (read in full...)
My wife is lovely, but she's more like a sister
Q. Hi, I'm a 'young' 60 y/o and married. My wife and I visit friends on a weekly basis sometimes twice weekly. For the past six months I cannot get this other lady out of my mind - it's something I've never experienced before. I'm not going throug...
A. 16 October 2007: I feel like the previous posters are working on a lot of assumptions, like their marriage Is 'lovely' as is your wife. if there has been no feeling in the marriage for so long I'd consider doing you and your sister-like wife a favor and divorce. if ... (read in full...)
What is going on here? I want sex but he doesn't seem that interested.
Q. I love him. He says he loves me too. I want him. He says he wants me too. But we have sex only once or twice a week. He rarely initiates it and rarely has an orgasm. He says if we have sex more often it will degrade it. He says that my talking about ...
A. 16 October 2007: Seriously, I would probably leave him. I know that sounds harsh, and that sex isn't EVERYTHING, but it is a big part of a relationship, as it is the physical manifestation of the emotional connection you two have. his grudging reluctance and disgust ... (read in full...)
Where can I find information about having periods? I'm 10 and very new to it. Please help me.
Q. Hi, I just recently put up a question about how to talk to my mom about my period just starting since I'm 10 years old. DOn't give me any advice on that now plese. I have a bunch of questions about periods. Like, how long does the bleeding last? Or ...
A. 11 October 2007: tissues could fall out, which could be awkward for everyone... (read in full...)
I am 14 and I need to know...what is 'fingering'?
Q. im 14... my boyfriend wants to finger me.. im not exactly sure what it means can youu please help mee....? x x ...
A. 2 October 2007: rhythm and blues, just because you have some traumatizing experience or distrust issues, doesn't mean this girl is ill-equipped to handle herself. I too didn't know slang for an improper amount of time because my family did not EDUCATE me. we are ... (read in full...)
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