A
female
age
36-40,
*azed & Confused
writes:Dear Cupid:I met a guy at my college about 9 months ago. He is very well spoken and knowledgeable about a lot of social issues. He's quite an activist and I love that about him. Good signs right? The problem is that he intimidates me. I am all for meaningful social change, but I'm not as aware of the issues as he is (but I definitely want to learn more). I feel that he will eventually dismiss me because of this. We're able to talk for hours on end, but I don't know if I'll be able to overcome my uneasiness. Should I be worried that he'll judge me for not being as active as he is? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Hi,
don't worry about it. He is seeing you because he likes you not because you are up to date on all the social issues.
I am quite active myself in causes but I would never judge anyone if they were'nt fully versed in these matters.
So just chill out, learn from him by all means, but don't think he is any better than you because he has read more books.
p.s. if he was to diss you because of your lack of knowledge then that would simply mean he is a jerk.
A
female
reader, Dazed & Confused +, writes (9 January 2008):
Dazed & Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice. I am definitely trying to learn more about the issues he cares about and have actually asked him to recommend a few books. Hopefully I will be able to bridge that gap. If the relationship doesn't work out, then at least I gained some knowledge right?
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (8 January 2008):
 I tend to think (from my own experience) that discomfort in terms of feeling intellectually inferior NEVER go away, but I don't want to be a downer! you could ask him to recommend some of his favorite books on the topics he's passionate about so you two will have the common ground, but you can also feel you have a better grasp on things and can formulate opinions for yourself. how's that sound?
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 This is tricky to answer without knowing the guy, some activist types can suffer from something of an elitist mentality which I guess is where your concern stems from. However that is not true of all and from the fact that you are able to talk it kinda suggests to me he may not be one of those types. You say you want to learn more and I think that is a good route to take, when you do you will probably gradually feel more empowered to become more active.
Bridging cultural/religious/political divides in relationships tends purely to depend on the individuals involved in my experience and how intransigent they are in the views they hold. I think the best way to overcome your uneasiness is learn about the issues and like I said I think you will start to feel more and more empowered as time goes on, good luck :)
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