| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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My b/f is coming home from Afghanistan, how can I tell him I'm not ready for marriage yet?
Q. Hi guys, I am in a long distance relationship, with my bf in afghanistan in the military; i'm nervous that when he gets back he's going to propose to me and i'm not ready. while i feel strongly about him, his coming back will signal our first ti...
A. 17 May 2010: Hey I have an update,
My bf came back about a month ago, and in person we talked about what pace to take things, and he said it first that he wouldn't want to get engaged til we were far into school (which we're going to start in fall), so at leas... (read in full...)
I feel so insecure about my body and my boyfriend makes it worse.
Q. I have amjor insecurity and jealousy issues concerning my body and my boyfriend. I know for instance he likes big breasts, I have small, and feel lacking. He's tired f discussing my insecurities all the time and told me to stop or he'll break up ...
A. 22 February 2010: "Not that he loves me less, but maybe he feels less attracted after seeing her or something. "
This is speculation that it sounds like he, time and again, has tried to deny. also, i was under the impression he WASN'T masturbating to these videos r... (read in full...)
My breasts are heavily bruised from his hands, biting, and sucking. Any worries for the future?
Q. Dear Aunties-- Thanks so much in advance for reading. I care very much for my boyfriend of several months. I thought I should start off saying that to clarify that this isn't a casual situation. Whenever I let my boyfriend feel up my breasts, we g...
A. 21 February 2010: WHAT, I don't think that a little rough play is going to necessitate a massectomy! where are the kinkies and s&m posters! ... (read in full...)
I feel so insecure about my body and my boyfriend makes it worse.
Q. I have amjor insecurity and jealousy issues concerning my body and my boyfriend. I know for instance he likes big breasts, I have small, and feel lacking. He's tired f discussing my insecurities all the time and told me to stop or he'll break up ...
A. 21 February 2010: If your boyfriend makes it worse why are you with him? Personally, I don't think your boyfriend makes your insecurity worse, YOU make it worse by assuming his sole purpose is to boost your body confidence: if you didn't have him to rely on for the ... (read in full...)
I really liked him but through shyness said I couldn't go with him
Q. I just turned 16 this year and I’m troubled over my feelings. Since Sec1, I was attracted to K and we always hang out and he would write me some silly notes that made me laugh. He would walk me back home and carry my bag for me under the hot sun. At ...
A. 20 February 2010: yea just say to k you thought he was teasing you and didn't even know he considered you two officially dating because you never went on a date, then ask him on a date so you can get to know each other even better.... (read in full...)
I want to make sure our first time is enjoyable for my girlfriend
Q. How many times does a woman orgasm on average in the time it takes for the guy to climax? Me and my girlfriend are going to have sex, and i want to make sure she gets satisfied. I have a lot of stamina, i just want to make her happy....
A. 20 February 2010: if you're doing things right (mostly through manual/oral stimulation) it should take her around 10-20 minutes, but it'll probably take you 5-10 through sex, so it's pretty common that guys let the girls come first and then have sex, that way she's ... (read in full...)
I bought a sex aid but my wife doesn't seem interested
Q. Hi, I have question about something in relationship ,trust and marriage. I had shown my wife a orange spanish fly liquid coupled with kamasutra gel after few weeks of marriage. more to show as trust builder since before marriage we had som...
A. 20 February 2010: try to explain to her it's not a trust issue but you thought it would spice things up and you wanted to show your romantic/sexy side by surprising her with it and didn't mean anything by your getting it without her. she doesn't sound like she ... (read in full...)
My breasts are heavily bruised from his hands, biting, and sucking. Any worries for the future?
Q. Dear Aunties-- Thanks so much in advance for reading. I care very much for my boyfriend of several months. I thought I should start off saying that to clarify that this isn't a casual situation. Whenever I let my boyfriend feel up my breasts, we g...
A. 20 February 2010: I think that it's about as permanent as getting a bruise on other parts of your body, shouldn't affect milk flow or anything like that in the future! you'll be fine... (read in full...)
She has a broken heart, can anyone help me find the glue to reconstruct it again?
Q. Ok here I go this will take a little well it all started right b4 christmas, I was going Christmas shopping and I saw this girl we seen each other we hadn't talked or anything for about 3yrs I wanted to date her back then when I was 15 then which ...
A. 17 February 2010: honestly I don't think you should invest much time and energy into her at this point. She does not have the closure necessary to move on and until she feels that she won't be able to dedicate all her emotional energy to you and its going to end up ... (read in full...)
Friend says my girlfriend cheated, she says she didn't, who should I believe?
Q. I think my GF cheated on me while skinny dipping. I had to work that night and she went out with some friends and ended up at a pool party. According to a mutual friend that was there, as the night progressed and people drank more the swimmer...
A. 17 February 2010: I agree with anonymous. Because nothing was REALLY even witnessed by the friend I feel like you should trust your gf more. are there any other people you could ask that went to the party? I also feel like, during that game described, that that guy ... (read in full...)
Gay urges!
Q. Hi, I'm a 22 year old male with a girlfriend that I have been seeing for the past two months. I have issues reaching climax and I'm afraid it's because I have been having gay urges lately. I'm fairly confident that I'm not gay; I am not sexually ...
A. 17 February 2010: well, it seems to me if you've only had sex twice, maybe it's just performance anxiety; i would agree with strontium also...sometimes fantasies are just fantasies and not necessarily tied to anything you would actually want to perform in 'real ... (read in full...)
Trust is a big issue in our relationship, and that's what we're lacking.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 6 months. Trust is a big issue in our relationship, and that's what we're lacking. I can’t really say that we both started off the wrong or right foot. At the very begin of our relationship, he ...
A. 16 February 2010: It sounds like if he was with someone else at the time there was some "limit" where you went beyond the point of no return or something. There weren't definitive boundaries drawn by him so for you to have known this was problematic is really his ... (read in full...)
Gay urges!
Q. Hi, I'm a 22 year old male with a girlfriend that I have been seeing for the past two months. I have issues reaching climax and I'm afraid it's because I have been having gay urges lately. I'm fairly confident that I'm not gay; I am not sexually ...
A. 16 February 2010: What are the gay urges if not a form of sexual attraction? do you mean that you're interested in the sex acts but not the guy? if so, if your gf is kinky maybe you can suggest her getting a strap on or something... ... (read in full...)
Boil the kettle before you read... I Need a lot of help!
Q. Like the title suggests boil the kettle before you read this as it is going to be a very long story asking for advice. About 3 years ago, I joined the army straight out of school and had met a girl had an ok relationship but to be fair i was quite...
A. 12 February 2010: okay i'm sorry about the misunderstanding about cheating, that partying section was written in a weird spot in your chronology of events.
i don't really know WHO needs to learn the lesson of how harsh love is? I'm not saying every second is suns... (read in full...)
How do I get to the bottom of this?
Q. ill make it short i was in college when a girl on my course said " i said to Ashley hey your going out with Kim aren't you? (that's me by the way and yes he is) and he just mumbled yeah a put his head down well she said she asked him what kind of...
A. 12 February 2010: is this girl more trustworthy than your bf? just ask HIM if he's happy with your relationship, with you as a girlfriend. also ask him if he talked to this girl about you you've heard some rumors he wasn't happy with you.if yes, that girl's a ... (read in full...)
Boil the kettle before you read... I Need a lot of help!
Q. Like the title suggests boil the kettle before you read this as it is going to be a very long story asking for advice. About 3 years ago, I joined the army straight out of school and had met a girl had an ok relationship but to be fair i was quite...
A. 12 February 2010: "She has just partied her life away drinking all the time getting into fights going to clubs and gettin sooo drunks he needs to go to hospital and sleeping with other men...."
isn't sleeping with other men cheating? or was this when you two were... (read in full...)
Boil the kettle before you read... I Need a lot of help!
Q. Like the title suggests boil the kettle before you read this as it is going to be a very long story asking for advice. About 3 years ago, I joined the army straight out of school and had met a girl had an ok relationship but to be fair i was quite...
A. 11 February 2010: alright...i got the idea. you definitely are in a relationship that isn't healthy for either of you; can you NOW tell that she's not right for you!? there's nothing there for you, she doesn't respect you as she is cheating, and you definitely didn't ... (read in full...)
How do I control my nerves???
Q. Well here goes. iv always been self-conscious. and worried about what people are thinking and saying about me. i dont know how i feel about myself anymore. and i really like this boy and he likes me. i really want to meet him, we both do but im ...
A. 11 February 2010: maybe you can double date with a friend of yours and her guy, or make it a group date so that he can see how much fun you are. having a friend there will make you feel a little more at ease and "yourself".
if you don't have the luxury of a group ... (read in full...)
I have lied to my online friend, about everything for 5 years. I am going to meet him now, what do I do?
Q. I have been using fake pics for well over 6 years and at first its fun with the attention but after a while reality sets in and it always come to an bad ending!! But this was when I was a lot younger and now I'm 21 I don't do it no more bc at the ...
A. 11 February 2010: do you look anything like this other girl? maybe you can just send him an 'updated' (ie real) picture of you- people can look different after 5 years and after a baby...... (read in full...)
Valetines day for a couple that isn't "lovey"
Q. So my boyfriend and I aren't really the sappy cutesy couple. We don't have pet names, we're not clingy and attached to the hip, and we haven't done the whole "I love you" thing yet. We've been dating for 8 months, and we talk about how we lik...
A. 11 February 2010: why don't you make your own card? It shows you put in effort and thought, and you could include all your inside jokes inside. maybe you could request a romantic walk in the snow, maybe sledding even, if that wouldn't be making it into a big thing! ... (read in full...)
Could I have been so drunk I don't remember having sex?
Q. A month ago, i met one guy, we start making up til we met, then i realize that he had a girlfriend, but 2 day ago we were drinking a lot, and there's an important part that i can't remember, I just don't remember like 30 min or something like that, ...
A. 8 February 2010: it's possible to blackout and yes, not remember having sex. ditto on the morning after pill, i think you have more than just that literal morning after, maybe 2 days or something. a respectful guy wouldn't do anything if he saw you were that messed ... (read in full...)
Opinions needed. My first time...
Q. Hi. me and my boyfriend want to lose our virginity together, as we have been discussing ideas. Any ideas you have would also be welcome! He hasnt seen me completely naked yet, but i said i would like to wear a sexy outfit at first, i'm not sure what ...
A. 7 February 2010: i agree with popeye. keep it simple, i wouldn't worry about talking dirty the first time around but it is important to keep communication going, like ask him if he likes what you're doing or vice versa if either of you do decide to do oral. make him ... (read in full...)
When I am not with him I get a terrible sinking feeling
Q. I've been seeing a guy for 6 months. I love him so much more than I have EVER loved anyone, and I truly believe he feels the same way about me. I had a crush on him for 2 years before we started seeing each other, and he is THE BEST thing that has ...
A. 7 February 2010: I think you're in the honeymoon stages of your romance where you just want to spend all your time with this guy, and when you're not with him, you want to be with him. I think as time goes on, you will become more accustomed to time away from each ... (read in full...)
When he's sober and calmed down from the drugs he makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever!
Q. I have bben with my boyfriend for some time now and nothings really has changed as far as i feel for him. I still get butterflies when i speak to him. hes the first real relationship ive had, and i love him a lot. ive made commitments and lets just ...
A. 6 February 2010: why don't you try talking to him and try to give him an ultimatum- the drugs and drinking or hanging out/going out with you? might help you see where his allegiances lie, for better or worse.... (read in full...)
We have solved our problems but other people wont forget
Q. i had some problems with a guy in september,october,and early november. we solved those problems and we are now boyfriend and girlfriend but no one will let us forget about what happened in the past. we have moved on and have now been dating for ...
A. 6 February 2010: if these people are your friends, i would address it next time it really bugs you, say something like, listen guys, i really like this guy and i haven't been this happy in so long, please be happy FOR me and drop the drama of last month. i think if ... (read in full...)
The "I miss you game" blues...
Q. My boyfriend and i were texting and we were playing that no i miss you more game and oh my gosh!! he sent this to me, i miss you so much id take a bullet for you, then i said you win then he's like all my stuff was true, and i still miss you, i wish ...
A. 27 January 2010: ask him out to a movie and tell him you like him but want to take it slow and keep dating him. ... (read in full...)
Sometimes a peach can have too much syrup and it doesn't mean the tree is getting too much water.
Q. Well I am in a s*load of trouble over a relationship I had with my boss at work. I handled the whole thing badly and it blew up in my face. I tried to get some advice on this problem the other day but my question wasn't posted because it was d...
A. 27 January 2010: just tell her what you said here, about how your lack of experience with other ladies and their wetness in addition to the rumor mill made you question her fidelity. ... (read in full...)
Will it pay off to look more my age?
Q. Is it really an advantage when you're nearing 20 and you still look 16? And if I don't want to look 16 anymore, how do I come to look more... my age? Thanks....
A. 22 January 2010: It will "pay off" if you've been trying to get a job in pigtails, and it may with guys too, I know I generally am not attracted to people looking like they aren't in touch with their age. What makes you think that you look underage? I mean, give it ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to have taken a fancy to my breast milk!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have a 4 month old son. My husband has always been a "boob man". And could spend hours of forplay on my boobs. Normally it doesn't bother me but lately he has tried a new thing and it worries me. A ...
A. 21 January 2010: i think he just thinks its a turn on, it's special cause they 'never did that before' and it's only like a limited time 'bonus', if you will. maybe he also wants to be loved in the same way your love child is and doesn't like that he gets boob time ... (read in full...)
She has a problem with my drinking!
Q. So last night i was drinking shots and i popped a couple of xanex pills to establish a buzz faster than useuall well i was having a good time, and i went to sleep.. well i wake up this morning, and everything in my room is broken, one of my walls is ...
A. 21 January 2010: OKAY a few thoughts on this:
Is this REALLY the only option? Did she confirm this 'theory' of yours, cause it really sounds to me like YOU fucked her up. It's very hard for someone to give THEMSELVES black eyes, you can't really get good mome... (read in full...)
Is my husband secretly gay or bi?
Q. Is My Husband Secretly Gay? He watches gay man on man porn only? He watches gay mini-series and soaps like Jon Paul and Craig and Craig Dean? He fully admits to loathing having sex with me, and sometimes we go months without sex because s...
A. 19 January 2010: it seems to me that he's only in it for the security of not having to figure out who he really is or what he really wants out of a relationship/"friendship". i think you're doing a disservice to yourself, staying with someone who doesn't desire you ... (read in full...)
My parents don't want me to have him as a friend any more and I don't know why...
Q. hey, i just wanna know what people would do if they were in this situation!? ok so me and my bf have been together for 8 months now and my parents dont know about it! They know him and have met him as my friend but lately they ha`ve told me im no...
A. 18 January 2010: I would ask them why they're forbidding you to see him, maybe there's a trait they see in him they don't like, or feel he's disrespectful, or maybe they have caught on that you two like each other and that's why they want you to stay apart. it's ... (read in full...)
My parents don't want me to have him as a friend any more and I don't know why...
Q. hey, i just wanna know what people would do if they were in this situation!? ok so me and my bf have been together for 8 months now and my parents dont know about it! They know him and have met him as my friend but lately they ha`ve told me im no...
A. 17 January 2010: how old is this friend/ bf? maybe that's a source of concern.... (read in full...)
My b/f is coming home from Afghanistan, how can I tell him I'm not ready for marriage yet?
Q. Hi guys, I am in a long distance relationship, with my bf in afghanistan in the military; i'm nervous that when he gets back he's going to propose to me and i'm not ready. while i feel strongly about him, his coming back will signal our first ti...
A. 16 January 2010: Thanks so much, guys!... (read in full...)
Humiliation in front of my classmates... was it my fault?
Q. Around a year and a half ago a fairly new teacher started teaching me for my Spanish course. The first few weeks of term were relatively normal, as I came into the school year two weeks late as I was on holiday I had missed some of the syllabus. I ...
A. 16 January 2010: wow she sounds like a sociopath. i think it's important you get your side of the story out there cause she might just latch on to someone else like this someday..it's problematic... (read in full...)
When I masturbate there's always blood. Why is this?
Q. hi im a fourteen year old girl and have been masturbatng for a couple of months now. recently, before and after my period, i have noticed blood coming out on the hairbrush handle i use. At first i thought it was my period but it has been two weeks ...
A. 16 January 2010: ok, you'll be ok. the hairbrush handle is probably tearing at your hymen (tissue at the opening of a vagina that has typically not been penetrated). it's nothing to worry about, but i would...try to find maybe a more sanitary item to masturbate ... (read in full...)
I'm really worried about a date I was on tonight...
Q. I'm really worried about a date I went on tonight. I was really nervous throughout the date, my shyness always seems to get the better of me. As a result I didn't express myself as much as i'd have liked to. We went for a drink first which calm...
A. 16 January 2010: i agree with the previous post. it takes most people a while to let their guards down and come out about who they really are. i've found that people are usually startled when i reveal my outgoing personality at first, which is usually a deterrent ... (read in full...)
Humiliation in front of my classmates... was it my fault?
Q. Around a year and a half ago a fairly new teacher started teaching me for my Spanish course. The first few weeks of term were relatively normal, as I came into the school year two weeks late as I was on holiday I had missed some of the syllabus. I ...
A. 16 January 2010: agreed, i'm sure you're cute and all but your teacher is a being a pervvy pedophilic creep. she needs a reality check..from her boss (the principal). go straight away before she gets even more violent or singles you out in more vicious ways.... (read in full...)
Two boys, my mother says this one, my father says that one, who to choose
Q. Well, there are two boys, who are both really close friends of mine, that really like me. Boy #1 is sweet, nice, kinda cute, and is nice to my family. The only problem is that he likes two other girls too, and tries to be a ladies man a lot. Then ...
A. 15 January 2010: boy 1 seems like a handful, plus he has other ladies in mind..wouldn't want to be worrying about them.
i don't know about boy 2, since you say he's hot and cold/ bipolar. but i just don't like the sounds of boy 1. ... (read in full...)
When ever I go without sex I get angry and break stuff
Q. Im sexually frustrated. When i dont have sex for long periods of time, i become very angry and rude. For example, one time i broke my kitchen window n my dishes cuz i didnt get laid. Its been a week since i had sex. My bf hasnt been over. He knows ...
A. 15 January 2010: Honestly, I'd go see a counselor for that..I think it's normal to crave or want sex after a short period of time, but the getting violent and angry over it is not really that healthy. does that mean that when you aren't dating someone you just find ... (read in full...)
Am I really that unlikeable?
Q. Hello aunts. I'm a 15 year old freshman boy. And about 2 years i used to be happy. I'm not saying everything was alright, because they weren't. my life was still horrible then. I actually liked going to school, to be honest it was my home from ...
A. 13 January 2010: maybe you should join a couple of clubs, find a friend group that makes you happy and get your laugh back on. middle and high school is a difficult time for most people; my first bf was in college, and I know a bunch of girls like that. it's okay to ... (read in full...)
Am I being a bad daughter?
Q. Please I need help. Is this me, am I being a bad daughter? First of all my Mother is a very emotionally abuse person towards me. She always suggests that I did something wrong, it's my fault, or i should have/could have done this to make it bette...
A. 13 January 2010: it really sounds hellish, i'm sorry this is happening to you, and that there is something wrong with your mother. can you go live with an aunt uncle or grandparent? is your dad a little more stable, can you talk some sense into him? Maybe you can ... (read in full...)
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