| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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A serious mishap...
Q. my girlfriend is really starting to detach herself from me and it is really starting to bother me. i was wondering, since weve been together for two months now, ive been realizing that she has almost broken up with me twice and i really love her ive ...
A. 19 December 2009: i don't know if this is the best relationship you can have. i know you have feelings for her, but you were insecure in the relationship because she was so fickle, and now you want to go back to that? what has changed? i don't think she is good ... (read in full...)
Hair pulled out of head...I never needed advice more in my life as I do now. Whats your thought on this?
Q. Hey guys, Background first of all, I'm in a relationship that is requiring a lot of work to keep going. I love Sarah to bits but its really hard to make us work. We are together for more than 2 years. We took breaks(not seeing other people) a ...
A. 29 November 2009: well, i think you know what you want to do right now, you almost only listed the negatives with your girl friend. sounds like you'd be better as friends, maybe down the road. in one of my relationships, when i saw myself drifting towards considering ... (read in full...)
Question about birth control.
Q. I need immediate answers please! thank you! Ok, i was wondering if anybody else has done the birth control pills where you get your period 4 times a year. Cuz I'm about to get my first period after taking them, and I need to know if it's going to...
A. 28 November 2009: i don't use them, just prepare as if it will be heavy then you won't be underprepared!... (read in full...)
How dare he try to dictate her life!
Q. My girlfriend and I met 4 months ago and are totally in love. Her husband left her for another woman 1 year ago and their divorce is in progress. Unusually, my gf is on very good terms with her in-laws (she's known them 26 years). The in-laws don'...
A. 28 November 2009: that is such a babyish ultimatum anyway, he clearly WILL end up talking to his parents again. what a control freak.... (read in full...)
His "joke" was NOT funny!
Q. My husband jokingly said, "I love this woman... Jennifer", she is always so satisfied with my work... I totally lost it. I felt it was an insult. And he said, oh no it was just a joke, I was just making a funny joke.. Do you think is this really f...
A. 28 November 2009: I think you're being too hard on him, but I didn't see or hear the way he said it. maybe he said it because he is feeling guilty that you're unsatisfied and just wanted to sort of redeem himself, well there is ONE girl out there that still thinks ... (read in full...)
Am I too demanding or am I stuck in a boring relationship?
Q. Hello, I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. Like with most couples, the first months of it went by smoothly. But lately, I'm starting to feel a bored with my relationship. I go to school full-time so I don't get to see him during th...
A. 28 November 2009: maybe you really need to sit him down and show him how seriously his not paying attention is affecting the relationship; this could make him rise to attention. if he shrugs of your concern, I would throw out a red flag. If you're not that ... (read in full...)
My feelings for him are so strong, I want to be more than just friends with him!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month and a half ago. (He cheated on me and lied about it. Needless to say - if I never saw him again, I wouldn't mind at all) Two or three weeks ago, while at the bar, I met another guy. He's a student at the ...
A. 28 November 2009: Honestly, I would risk the friendship, because, you're only going to be in the area for so long, so i mean, you may never see each other again, as friends, and i would not throw away these strong feelings you have for someone that could only come ... (read in full...)
I'm only 14 and he wants to have sex with me even although he has a girlfriend. Am I being played?
Q. I am fourteen years old and last year I had this "thing" with this guy. He has had a girlfriend for the past six months but now he wants to have sex with me. I really do want to have sex with him and have him be my first but I don't know because he ...
A. 28 November 2009: Agreed: you're being played. he doesn't care about you, he just wants more ass,wherever and however much he can get..don't give in to his nasty wishes..it would be a horrible first time, being thrown to the curb the next day. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop this self-biting?
Q. I have a problem with self biting. Like I overly bite my lip and the inside of my cheek. I also contastly need to pull at the skin around my nails and my finger's are litterly raw from the fact that i pulled off all the skin. IDK what to do, idk why ...
A. 28 November 2009: I would suggest going to a counselor that could give you more professional tips, but if you want to try to fix it on your own, i would keep a journal, or at least a mental log, to try to record what triggers your wanting to bite or pick at a part of ... (read in full...)
I faced my fear and gave him oral but I couldn't handle it if he came anywhere near my face...
Q. Ok this might seem like a weird question but here goes - I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We have a 3 month old daughter together. I had never ever given oral sex before i had met him to anybody (fear). I faced this fear recently ...
A. 27 November 2009: i mean, i don't blame you. i think some people are just come-phobic a little and i think that's acceptable. is there ANYWHERE on your body you wouldn't have a problem with him coming-- maybe your hair, where it could get kind of 'absorbed' or your ... (read in full...)
Forceful sex!
Q. im 16 and ive been hooking up with a guy who's 26 for the last 5 months. it has been good, we just have sex, no dating. we have really good sex up until the last time which was a week ago. he really hurt me and left bruises all over me. he came ...
A. 27 November 2009: depending on one's definition, this could even be considered rape. I would avoid him. He has a side of him that is dangerous, and clearly apathetic to your interests and disrespecful to your body. ... (read in full...)
What to say to a girl when she's on her period for fear of upsetting her?
Q. I need help on talking to this girl, I don't know what to say to her because she's on her period and I'm afraid I'll say something and that she will take it the wrong way, or something I need tips, I'm a pretty opened up person too, I can make a lot ...
A. 26 November 2009: this q is too broad, what are you trying to talk to her/ask her regarding it: when her period is, where she is in her cycle, if she pms's, does she want to have sex even on her period, what exactly?... (read in full...)
I broke up with him today...shoul I e-mail him or just let it go?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up today, he's been distant and I just couldn't take it anymore. He asked if I thought I'd be better single and I said maybe even thought I love him more then life itself. After I said maybe I just walked away, the look on ...
A. 24 November 2009: yea i think it's worth explaining to him more so that he knows what you see as lacking right now in the relationship. it is possibly fixable, his distance, and he realizes now that the consequences of his behavior, so might come around to work on ... (read in full...)
We just met on the phone and he's talking sex, kids, and marriage!!
Q. I spent a whole night...last night...talking to a friend I know on the phone. I don't really know what happened, but we started talking about sex after I described the outfit I was wearing. We met through a mutual friend of both of ours and though ...
A. 24 November 2009: yea he definitely..sounds like bad news, potentially abusive or rapist-like, i would NOT meet him, block his calls.... (read in full...)
Squirting problem...
Q. I'm 42 and for 9 years while having sex I will squirt. I would like to know if this is normal and if there are other women with this problem?...
A. 24 November 2009: some guys are really into that scene... (read in full...)
I dropped her and she's devastated..have I made her insecure?
Q. Hi. I have just split from my gf and its all my doing. I have not met anyone else just feel its run its course and to be honest don't really love her anymore. Problem is it feels like being a teenager again, I feel sick with guilt because she is a...
A. 24 November 2009: several points--
1) the break up has surely left her vulnerable and both of you a little insecure, as neither of you know what the future brings and that's a little scary for both of you, sure, but if it didn't feel right, it didn't feel right and ... (read in full...)
My friend told me he loves me, but then says he's unsure?
Q. I have a male friend who i feel extremely close to, i can talk to him about anything. The other day we were having a normal conversation on MSN and i asked what gossip he had to tell me in conversation. He messed about and said things like 'haha its ...
A. 23 November 2009: well..i mean he at least has a crush on you it seems. why don't you two date a little, see if you like each others' families, friends, habits, etc. and maybe it WILL blossom into more?... (read in full...)
Blow jobs and riding..need advice!
Q. So there are 2 simple things i need help with... The first things i would like help with is as follows: I'm nervous about oral sex. "Blow-jobs". I don't really know why. But is there any way to make me feel a bit more comfortable about it? I ...
A. 23 November 2009: Q1- maybe you could do a 69 so that the pressure isn't on you and it's not even really on making anybody come, it's just mutual stimulation. or if that makes you feel comfortable, just go slow with the blow job thing, i mean, you don't have to jump ... (read in full...)
How do I give him the best blowjob he's ever had???
Q. Me and my boyfriend were talking about what he likes and he tells me that he doesn't care much for blow jobs because in the past his now ex's weren't good at them... So I'm now keen to change his mind, the only thing is that it would be my first ti...
A. 21 November 2009: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-give-my-boyfriend-really-good.html... (read in full...)
Should I reconsider my outfit???
Q. I'm going to a concert tonight with my cousin (26), her boyfriend (26), and his brother (18). I'm 16. I know this is silly, but I've seen pics of this guy (cousins bf's little brother) and I think hes really cute :) i was planning on wearing ripped ...
A. 21 November 2009: i guess it depends if your buttcheeks are hanging out! i guess you could change into different jeans, but if you feel comfortable in the outfit, then you will exude confidence, which is usually a big turn on for guys; maybe you could pm a pic of the ... (read in full...)
She reaches climax too soon!
Q. hey this is my first time asking for help...anyway.... I'm 19 and I love my girlfriend so much,but I'm having problems with her in bed. What I mean is that she cums really really fast. 5 minutes fast. This is frustrating caus it takes me about 45 ...
A. 19 November 2009: I agree with the previous respondent and would add, though this might be too obvious, but have you changed positions or types of thrusts? Like, if she likes it when you go fast maybe you should slow it down. or if she likes a certain position either ... (read in full...)
She reaches climax too soon!
Q. hey this is my first time asking for help...anyway.... I'm 19 and I love my girlfriend so much,but I'm having problems with her in bed. What I mean is that she cums really really fast. 5 minutes fast. This is frustrating caus it takes me about 45 ...
A. 19 November 2009: I agree with the previous respondent and would add, though this might be too obvious, but have you changed positions or types of thrusts? Like, if she likes it when you go fast maybe you should slow it down. or if she likes a certain position either ... (read in full...)
Opinions needed. Did I make the right decision?
Q. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of almost two years. She had tendencies that bothered me and I believe it is part of her personality and will never change. Part of me doesn't want this relationship to end because I care about her very much, ...
A. 17 November 2009: I don't think you should be with her out of pity, which is almost how you're coming off--I'm one of the only ones that can tolerate her x y and z even though I have issues with those tendencies of hers. let someone else deal with them/ embrace them/ ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble trying to figure out my sexuality...
Q. I'm 18 and for a long time i've been trying to figure out my sexuality. It's a little confusing and frankly i totally believe that only you know what you want, but i would still love some advice on it i guess. so i do think that guys are cute, but ...
A. 17 November 2009: I don't think your friends gaydar or lack thereof matters, and I don't even think your past relationships matter. you feel sexually attracted to girls, which I do too, but at the end of the day, I do not want to get in an emotional relationship with ... (read in full...)
Niece gave me BJ while sleeping
Q. I went to visit my sister while i was driving thru calif. We had a BBQ and lots of drinks. Well around midnight i went to bed and passed out. About 3 am i was woken up to a really good blow job but the lights were off. I was thinking it was one of ...
A. 15 November 2009: I'm sorry this happened to you, not that you're necessarily traumatized, maybe shaken up, but it IS borderline rape, just considering your lack of consent. I would tell her mother and I would also recommend counseling. ... (read in full...)
A serious mishap...
Q. my girlfriend is really starting to detach herself from me and it is really starting to bother me. i was wondering, since weve been together for two months now, ive been realizing that she has almost broken up with me twice and i really love her ive ...
A. 15 November 2009: okay. you've been together 2 months. It's really...rash to declare your intent to marry this girl after 2 months, i'm not trying to judge, I'm trying to tell you that sometimes, it takes a little bit for couples to show their true colors. I know in ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get a sex change?
Q. i want a sex change but i like women i just also want to be one but is it possiple to get another sex change ...
A. 26 October 2009: This website explains the operation from man to woman:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/SRS.html... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get a sex change?
Q. i want a sex change but i like women i just also want to be one but is it possiple to get another sex change ...
A. 26 October 2009: you can become a woman..you go on i think some kind of testosterone blockers, so you stop growing facial hair and your muscles and voice become a little more feminine; as for surgery you can get breast implants easily, and the surgery for turning a ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get a sex change?
Q. i want a sex change but i like women i just also want to be one but is it possiple to get another sex change ...
A. 26 October 2009: you can become a woman..you go on i think some kind of testosterone blockers, so you stop growing facial hair and your muscles and voice become a little more feminine; as for surgery you can get breast implants easily, and the surgery for turning a ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and I don't know where to go from here
Q. I started out as FWB with this guy seven years ago, but as you can imagine, we eventually fell in love, and despite the fact that we didn’t want to be in a relationship, we became “exclusive” and things started to seem like we were in one, up to the ...
A. 25 October 2009: I think you need to spend less time with each other. You SHOULD be able to have friends, etc. but instead your time is consumed by your man that you do like, but are finding it harder to see that. If you own a business with him, maybe you guys can ... (read in full...)
First lesbian sex together ruining our relationship...can anyone help?
Q. Serious issue here :/ I have had a girlfriend for a while now. It's become very serious. one time when she came to stay round mine we decided to have sex for the first time, it was my first time all together, and her first time with another ...
A. 25 October 2009: okay also,
is she in general, very distant now? I'm wondering if she's having second thoughts about being a lesbian, if this is her first experience. maybe she's feeling weird about how it went and now is questioning her orientation. I think ther... (read in full...)
First lesbian sex together ruining our relationship...can anyone help?
Q. Serious issue here :/ I have had a girlfriend for a while now. It's become very serious. one time when she came to stay round mine we decided to have sex for the first time, it was my first time all together, and her first time with another ...
A. 25 October 2009: okay. I'm not sure how much you know about female orgasms (it says you could be as young as 13), so I might come off as condescending, I apologize in advance if this is all stuff you know. It sounds to me that you took on too much at once. If she ... (read in full...)
Will my gf be put off by my problem I think I'm not what she thought I was
Q. hi. Ive been with my gf for about 3 months. ive known her for years and shes always really fancied me. Iv always suffered with acne and i dont go out when i get a bad flare up. Most people dont realise i have bad acne because i dont go out when...
A. 25 October 2009: agree with the other girls--i mean you've already warned her, so i feel like she's prepared enough to "face" you (oh, a PUN!), just think broadly, even though your skin has been bad a while, it's about to be a temporary ailment that is going to ... (read in full...)
What do you think he's thinking?
Q. Hi! I liked this guy for ages, but was never sure if he liked me... i was pretty sure he did, and so, at the age of 17 (yes, it was humiliating) I finally kissed him at a party. It was my first kiss. He definitely seemed to like me that night, but ...
A. 25 October 2009: honestly, i'd be forthrigh about it and call him and be like do you want to be friends or not because you're going back and forth and that's not worth my time; you don't have to make yourself vulnerable and say how you feel about him, just say it's ... (read in full...)
Stamina problem
Q. I really hate having sex with my girlfriend because I have... stamina issues where i uh finish early. I really love her though and don't want to disappoint or lose her. What can I do?...
A. 25 October 2009: also if you come fast but also get hard fast again, maybe you should have her give you a handjob or something and THEN get to doing the deed. or, if it's not the case that you harden up quickly again, then there are also c*ckrings that keep you ... (read in full...)
Does he really care for me?
Q. Hey, Im 18 years old and i just got back with my boyfriend after a 5 month break. He has changed to a very sweet person and regretted everything he has done to me. and i was good enough to forgive him, since im not so perfect either, but the ...
A. 24 October 2009: an alternative theory: maybe he feels self conscious about his being on nutmeg around you and wants to be sure that you still accpet him and is feeling a little frantic cause you're acting distant. i'm wondering why you got back together, you say ... (read in full...)
Does he not like me?
Q. Last night, I went to my school's football game because the guy that I like--who's on the team--invited me to come and watch; when the game was over he met me over by the gate where everyone comes in and asked did I enjoy it amongst other things, ...
A. 24 October 2009: I wouldn't want to be second rung to anyone either! I don't think it's worth you confronting him over, because he WAS pretty upfront about being more interested in this other girl. I don't see any good that could come out of talking it out with him, ... (read in full...)
Do you think I am a slut?
Q. Do you think I am a slut? I have been flirting with this guy for years, he likes me because I am shy, we have kissed a couple of times, we get on really well and very recently we were kissing and as we were kissing he asked me to make him cum, wh...
A. 23 October 2009: to me, a slut is someone that goes around with A BUNCH of guys, you only did one sexual thing with one guy, so from my definition I'd say you're not a slut. I agree with what people are saying re: maybe you're feeling used because you want more out ... (read in full...)
Have I done the right thing? I still like him
Q. Hi, The first guy is 18years old, and the second guy is 17years old I am 16 years old I’ve kind of fell for this boy at this convention that I been to for 3 days ,He was staring at me all the way through when we both was waiting for this coach t...
A. 23 October 2009: Back off of both of them! I get that you sensed their interest, but one of them has clearly stated disinterest/fear of you, and the other has a girlfriend? I think they did think you were cute, but that's not necessarily the same as actually wanting ... (read in full...)
Any sites that address missing someone in the military?
Q. I am a girlfriend of a marine, and I'm having a hard time adjusting to his second time overseas. I know there are a lot of spritual or patriotic support systems, but as an atheist and pacifist, my emotional pain is not easily alleviated. Neither my ...
A. 15 October 2009: Thank you for taking my question seriously I really appreciate your answers. Good luck to you both~... (read in full...)
What do we need to work on to better our sex life?
Q. three years ago I brought up a sexual comment to spice up the night and my husband threw me off,maybe we had a fight before, i dont know. Today I feel that he is not the sensual guy. There are other times that I see that he is not into the sensual ...
A. 15 October 2009: well I would just emphasize to him that when you do talk to him about sexy stuff, it's because you're interested in him and sexual things with him, and all those guys are so much in the past you don't even think about them anymore. I don't know if ... (read in full...)
When I laugh my muscles go weak, is this normal?
Q. hello quick question umm when i laugh i cant control myself and my muscles go weak and i end up being really floppy. today when i was laughing a when really floppy and i was eating when it happened and i couldn't physically close my mouth. is th...
A. 13 October 2009: I have never heard of this, maybe it's an issue with your body needing oxygen? I have no idea. I think it's something you might want to check on with a doctor, what if you're driving and laugh? I'd be a little concerned about the aftereffects, ... (read in full...)
What do we need to work on to better our sex life?
Q. three years ago I brought up a sexual comment to spice up the night and my husband threw me off,maybe we had a fight before, i dont know. Today I feel that he is not the sensual guy. There are other times that I see that he is not into the sensual ...
A. 13 October 2009: I'm not following:
-he threw you off of his body mid-act, or he just rejected your comments?
-it's an issue of you wanting to talk dirty and him thinking you're a whore because you've been with a lot of guys and he's reminded of that, instead ... (read in full...)
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