A
female
age
41-50,
*etskie
writes:i have a gay best friend, and i think im starting to fall for him. i know he had previous girlfriends but its men that really interest him. should i tell him that i'm falling for him? but im afraid of being rejected and i dont want to lose our friendship. please help me...[Added]i have a gay best friend. most of the times he sleeps over our house and we stay in one bed. from the beginning i sleep hugging him. lately i found myself missing him and everytime he sleeps over i kiss his shoulders while he sleeps. i think im beggining to fall for him. when we go out we held hands and if there's a chance he wraps his arms around my waist. when we watch a movie we always stay close and hold hands. i dont know if he also feels the same i do. he used to have girlfriends but he is very much sure he is gay. he told me that when in a gay relationship he is the one on top. he use to tell me that he wanted to have children but not to marry. should i tell him what i feel? how? but im afraid he would reject me... im afraid to lose our friendship... please help me...
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female
reader, xapathyxrebornx  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Hun if he is DEFINATLY just gay then your just going to get hurt.
I suggest next time hes huggin you or being all touchy feely or acting loving just act, sigh and say in a fun/laughing kind of way (as if your enjoying yourself)
"Whyyyyyy do you have to be gay."
funnily i did that and i ended up with a guy who said he was gay for three months lol
but hun dont get your hopes up, dont say it definatly seriously just say it as in a joke and see the reaction =] x
message me for more advice x
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Sorry mate, but there's a world of hurt waiting for you if you tell him how you feel.
Gay men like girlfriends as they can confide in them and be touchy feely without any sexual overtones.
Once you tell him how you feel your relationship will never be the same, he's gay what makes you think you can make him switch sides? It's not a choice ( despite what the religious right wing say )he's into guys not gals.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 I kinda think nothing good will come of this..if he is exclusively interested in men, there is no point in telling him that you're interested. it sounds like he dated women cause it was expected of him not because he wanted to. you're just going to get rejected and you're both going to be uncomfortable, and yes, your relationship may be irreversibly strained. I think it's better to move on, keep him as a friend, but look for a new one to love.
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A
female
reader, Maxine17  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 The next time u are together and u are alone sit down and tell him u urgently need to talk to him about something that is bothering you.
Tell him that what u want to say to him is difficult but u need to tell him. Youhaven't told him yet because u are afraid that he will reject you. Then tell him how u feel but don't look away make direct eye contact.
When you are done tell him that you're sorry if this put any strain on your friendship. If he says that he needs to think about this then give him as much time as he needs!
If u need anymore advice u know where to find me! I'll be there whenever u need to talk...
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