| Latest articles: Reflections on my breakup
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30 May 2011: I just broke up with my boyfriend of six yrs, my only serious relationship at this point. The most startling feeling I have is after weeks of build up of anger, bitterness, and hurt towards my partner, the ambivalence and second-guessing I'm now ...
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He was drunk and said he never wants to speak to me again... sober, he said he can't remember.
Q. Last night me, my boyfriend and quite a few friends were out in town. All of us extremely drunk. At the end of the night my boyfriend told me to leave him alone and he never wants to speak to me or see me ever again, I don't know why because I ...
A. 6 April 2008: I think I would trust him on this, you gave him a way out of the relationship if he wanted it, and he resisted and said he wanted you. It really just sounds like the drinking went a little out of control, sometimes people say things TOTALLY from ... (read in full...)
My younger sister (14) has sex with her BF which my mother doesn't know, should I tell her?
Q. hi, this isnt really advice im after but something i just cannot get my head around?!!!!!!!! my sister is 13 years old she will be 14 in august. she has been goin out with this 17 year old guy now for about 3 to 4 months and i know she is havi...
A. 6 April 2008: It sounds like jealousy, or at least, annoyance at the injustice that your mom didn't even give craig and you the time of day while you say your sister is tramping around in the meantime, it's a double standard. I think your mother's treatment of ... (read in full...)
My younger sister (14) has sex with her BF which my mother doesn't know, should I tell her?
Q. hi, this isnt really advice im after but something i just cannot get my head around?!!!!!!!! my sister is 13 years old she will be 14 in august. she has been goin out with this 17 year old guy now for about 3 to 4 months and i know she is havi...
A. 3 April 2008: You will perhaps irreversibly lose your sister's trust if you rat her out. her sex life isn't your business to tell. I understand that she's MAKING it your business by telling you about it, and by being so public about it but you have to respect her ... (read in full...)
I feel like a slave but he doesn't hit me too hard so maybe he will be better after we have children...
Q. My husband comes from a family where the men are always in charge. He was very nice to me when we were dating and after we got married he changed like he thinks he is my master. I feel like a slave sometimes and if I don't do what I am supposed to ...
A. 14 March 2008: Let's just say, he didn't change. He didn't get worse, he didn't get better. Do you really want a child to grow up in an environment where one's mother is devalued and treated as though SHE were the child? I don't think he WILL change, at least for ... (read in full...)
Manipulative behaviour
Q. Help! I really need some advice and very quickly. I have a situation which I just don't know how to deal with. I am a woman who has a really close relationship with a gay man, - we are best friends, and he and his partner and I are really close. ...
A. 14 March 2008: This may come off a little immature, but maybe you could switch the venue, make it at your house and say you wanted it a little more private so keep the information to yourself? This situation sounds like a nightmare, I would consider associating ... (read in full...)
Since my BF told me he was bi, we did not have sex as much as before. What is happening?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he was bi, which is okay with me. We have had fun exploring with it. But lately he doesn't always want to have sex with me or go down on me as much anymore. He does other things to please me. He says because he is angry. He ...
A. 14 March 2008: I agree with gothgirl, that the anger is the root of the issue, which may be homosexuality related OR not! Because, he used to have sex with you okay, but something has CHANGED to make him angry during heterosexual sex? If so, what has changed, ... (read in full...)
I can't stand my husband touching me or kissing me...and the thought of sex makes me sick.
Q. I don't know what it is. the thought of making love to my husband makes me sick. I can't stand him touching me or kissing me. In the past and currently he has some anger problems and he says hurtful things to me and about my family and its a turnof...
A. 11 March 2008: He sounds verbally abusive to me and it may be better for you to seperate from him for a while to sort out how you want to take your next step--with or without him.... (read in full...)
Do I marry and die????
Q. I've been in this relationship for 6 years now. He claims he fell in love with me the moment he saw me and has wanted to marry me ever since. After a few years he went to another country to pursue his studies. I missed him terribly and decided to ...
A. 11 March 2008: Does your family know about this other man? Your relatives only want to see you happy, and you should be doing the marriage for you, not for anyone else. Don't waste your life pleasing others!If you really don't want to cancel a wedding, just swap ... (read in full...)
Is infidelity genetic?
Q. My boyfriend has confided in me that his dad cheated on his mom while they were married and that was the cause of their divorce. My question is, is my boyfriend more likely to cheat on me in the future because he has been exposed to and influence ...
A. 11 March 2008: I think he'd be even more so against adultery after seeing his mother in pain and probably experiencing itself! Don't doubt your relationship just because your bf's father has made mistakes! Have faith!... (read in full...)
I just want the truth...is my bf bi or not??
Q. I need some serious help, my boyfriend and I have been together off and on for over a year.. I found out he was a member of a adult website and listed himself as bi-sexual, when confronted he was defensive and said no I just like looking at ...
A. 20 February 2008: To answer your follow up, I would say men can have sexual attractions to other women and a relationship can bloom; likewise, men can have attractions to women and men and still want you to be the one. I would think he feels a LOT of shame about ... (read in full...)
I just want the truth...is my bf bi or not??
Q. I need some serious help, my boyfriend and I have been together off and on for over a year.. I found out he was a member of a adult website and listed himself as bi-sexual, when confronted he was defensive and said no I just like looking at ...
A. 19 February 2008: I mean, there's technically nothing wrong with being attracted to both sexes; the lying and the putting up pictures behind your back however, could be construed (depending on your definitions) as adulterous. He HAS admitted he "likes seeing things" ... (read in full...)
I have an 18 month old daughter already and feel it's time to have another one but only this time I am having problems concieving...
Q. I have an 18 month old daughter already and feel it's time to have another one but only this time I am having problems concieving, I was on the pill. Anyone got any ideas on what will help my chances?...
A. 19 February 2008: this keeps happening it seems, the whole misidentification of age/gender in posts, i can't tell if it's carelessness in this case, or a mistake or joke. If you really are only 17, i would agree with the first aunt. you're going to have trouble ... (read in full...)
I'm just curious what you all think would be a nice way to tell him to stop without disgusting him. "Stop, I'm bleeding," doesn't seem to quite cut it.
Q. I'm on my period and the guy I've recently started seeing has tried to make a move. I'm just curious what you all think would be a nice way to tell him to stop without disgusting him. "Stop, I'm bleeding," doesn't seem to quite cut it. Since it's ...
A. 19 February 2008: It sounds like he is writing off your period as a problem, maybe saying it doesn't mean much to him. if that's the case then just Tell him it makes you uncomfortable to engage in sexual activity during your period, i don't think a lot of women even ... (read in full...)
What are these spots down there?
Q. I'm a 13yr old girl. I have spots down there. Like alot of them. They are swollen/red and sometimes they even bleed. I dont shave down there. What is it? ...
A. 13 February 2008: Are you sexually active? Maybe that'd provide a clue. Either way I'd look into going into a doctor!... (read in full...)
How can I avoid leaking before I come?
Q. i seem to get wet or precome when me and my wife have foreplay or begin sex. how can i avoid this?...
A. 11 February 2008: Maybe this isn't answering your question really, but I know that as a girl i like precum, as some physical evidence that a guy's having a good time besides being hard! But I would think that you could either wipe it off, or shorten engagement in ... (read in full...)
He texted me and told me to leave him alone because he is physically and emotionally drained... what do I do?
Q. I met a man online, and we clicked right away. We had our first date, and things went beautifully. On our second date, my family showed up, and needless to say it was awkward. The next day he called and cancelled our third date, stating his dad ...
A. 10 February 2008: I think I would be pretty freaked out by a date who was already introducing me into the family on the second meeting, this is generally a huge step, and he may have felt you were moving too soon too fast, but there's nothing you can do about it now ... (read in full...)
Why do I always shoot myself in the foot when trying to get to know someone?
Q. I really screwed up. I met this girl today at my party's caucus who was really cool, and I think we had some chemistry. I started at her confidently and walked right up to her and started talking. I usually don't display this kind of confidence, ...
A. 10 February 2008: this isn't the end of the world. you know she goes to the caucases, maybe you actually WILL see her next time around. or, why don't you look her up in the phonebook? or, why don't you ask one of your colleagues if they knew her, where you could ... (read in full...)
Having an affair with my engaged to be married manager. His excuse is he'd lose his friends and family if he broke up. What do I do?
Q. I am a 20 year old girl and in a really messed up situation at the moment. I recently started a new job and on a work night out I got really drunk and ended up kissing my manager. He is engaged to be married and he told me it was just a bit of fun ...
A. 7 February 2008: How long has it been since the first hook up? Because there's no timeline here, it sounds like he's claiming love very quickly, and My personal opinion is that it sounds like you're being taken advantage of. he might be doing this (saying he loves ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to laugh during his orgasms?
Q. When me and my long term boyfriend have sex, when he cums, he laughs and is often forced to stop the stroking motion. He says it's not a bad thing at all, but doesn't seem to be able to explain it... or maybe he just doesn't want to. Why does he ...
A. 6 February 2008: i've heard of this, maybe from sex and the city or something, i don't remember, but yea i don't think he's laughing at you or anything, it's just normal reaction some guys do ! ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my bisexuality keeps ruining my relationships, someone please help!
Q. I am bisexual and have long struggled with my sexuality. I am so depressed by this all and despite what people say - bisexuals are not greedy. It isnt even so much a sexual thing to me but something deeper and more meaningful. The emotions and ...
A. 6 February 2008: If you want to stay with your husband, I think maybe you should think about identifying the aspects you like about women that are missing from you current relationship and asking if you guy can emphasize these qualities that you feel are lacking and ... (read in full...)
Could my cousin be bi and have feelings for me??
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl and I need people's advice. I think my 17-year old cousin is bi or someting or maybe she has feelings for me. Whenever I sign on msn she always clicks me and says hey or hi. What do you think?...
A. 6 February 2008: Sounds like maybe she's lonely or maybe likes you as a friend/person/cousin...i don't hear 'lover' in saying hello.... (read in full...)
Would I be better off alone even though we love each other??
Q. I fear I love my man too much. Currently, I'm living about a 2-hour commute away from him, in my parents' house, because I'm student teaching, and the school I teach at is close to my parents' house. I always look forward to weekends, because ...
A. 4 February 2008: standing up for yourself is a good step to getting what you want out of life! Pursue whatever route makes you happy, good luck!... (read in full...)
Do women only like muscular bodies? - I'm thin.
Q. hey there, i have a big problem which is affecting my overall life and here it is i would like to share with you hoping that i may get your kind advises; i am thin thin thin...and my being thin is affecting my confidence to approach women whom i ...
A. 4 February 2008: No offense!... (read in full...)
Do women only like muscular bodies? - I'm thin.
Q. hey there, i have a big problem which is affecting my overall life and here it is i would like to share with you hoping that i may get your kind advises; i am thin thin thin...and my being thin is affecting my confidence to approach women whom i ...
A. 4 February 2008: I tend to find skinny boys much more hot than muscular men, and i know several ladies that agree with me on this... we call it the heroin look.... (read in full...)
My little sister gives me self esteem issues, how can I handle this?
Q. Hi guys, I've found the culprit of my low self esteem but don't know how to handle it. My sister is a very very very immature 17 year old. Whenever she speaks to me it's to call me ugly or fat and even a dog. She always always calls me a fat u...
A. 4 February 2008: Maybe my response is less mature than many peoples' here, and COULD add fuel to the fire, but have you tried giving her a taste of her own medicine? This may disempower or invalidate her arguments..your sister is getting sadistic pleasure out of ... (read in full...)
We fight every single day because he doesn't understand me...but our familes are excited about us getting engaged.
Q. hi everyone... Well... my problem is similar to many girls here. I've been goin out wih this guy since almost 7 yrs now. Both our families knows all bout it infact his parents talked to my parents and its all good. We mite get engaged very soon but...
A. 4 February 2008: Don't live for your parents, live for what will make YOU happy, and you don't sound happy. Don't accept a marriage proposal. Tell him your concerns about where the relationship is going, try counseling and then move on if things don't improve. ... (read in full...)
Would I be better off alone even though we love each other??
Q. I fear I love my man too much. Currently, I'm living about a 2-hour commute away from him, in my parents' house, because I'm student teaching, and the school I teach at is close to my parents' house. I always look forward to weekends, because ...
A. 4 February 2008: If he truly loved you he would go the extra mile. My boyfriend has to travel 12 hours to get to me once a month, and I know that if he could do it right now, he would in a heart beat. Your man doesn't know how good he has it, being so close, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to remain jobless, but I want to work. How do I get past this?
Q. Hey I was wondering if I could get some help from some people to help me solve my problem. My Boyfriend and I want to get married. We aren't getting married anytime soon and know mostly everything we want. He wants to graduate and be a lawyer....
A. 28 January 2008: a man who loves you loves and supports all of you, dreams included.this man is asking you to remain emotionally as well as economically dependent on him. it will be so hard for you if you dont' work out and have no job experience. you should really ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am always walking on eggshells with my gf and it is wearing me down...what can I do??
Q. It seems like my girlfriend always is upset. It feels like anything I do. She is an emotional and sensitive girl - this she does admit. She will cry at any sad part of a movie, cry when she is happy; just generally emotional. However, her constant...
A. 25 January 2008: I don't think it's PMS. This thing your girl does, sounds almost exactly what I do when I'm upset, and I've been told that I'm passive aggressive, which is APPARENTLY an actual diagnosis...sort of like...hyper non-confrontationality whose aggression ... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't love me like he used to. What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend was with me for a year and a half, and then we split up for a month (he was halfway cheating on me). During this time, he squished his love for me and since then, we got together and it has been 'growing back.' Well, it has been almost ...
A. 24 January 2008: I disagree with this last post; if this were a personal issue of being sad, MAYBE i'd suggest "fake it til ya make it," but you can't pretend to be happy when you aren't, why should you deny your feelings? being unhappy may make one undesirable, but ... (read in full...)
What can I say to her in terms she'll understand?
Q. My girlfriend is best friends with a guy who is bi and he is always over at her house hanging out with her and her parents watching movies, having dinner, and other stuff. I have never been to her house and only talked to her father on a few ...
A. 23 January 2008: Well, there are two issues at hand here, I think..: -feeling threatened by this guy -lack of privacy between you and your gf. And I think it's more that this guy is smothering you, not always around not giving you guys time to breathe togethe... (read in full...)
My legs cramp when an orgasm builds? Why?
Q. Thanks to some advice I'd been given from one of the Uncles on this site, I've finally started to orgasm and its wonderful! But, this that I'm about to mention has always happened and seems to still happen... Whenever I felt I might orgasm before, I ...
A. 20 January 2008: does this happen with most of your positions, or only 1? I would think switching positions within the act would prevent your legs from getting stiff and crampy... (read in full...)
I'm confused adn deluded!! Help/
Q. I met this guy in a straight gym in Essex, England and i fell in love with him from day one. I got to chat with him, and asked him to be my gym buddy, which he agreed to. While we were in the jaccuzi, i noticed how he was staring in my eyes with ...
A. 20 January 2008: It sounds like he's confused or reluctant to continue with the sexual tension; to be honest I think it's a little wrong of you to have come on so strong to someone who made it clear he was not interested, even if he didn't push you off each time; ... (read in full...)
Ready to have sex but too embarrssed!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for over 3 months now. I have sucked him off and given him a hand-job. As he is two years older than me, he says he doesnt want to have sex as i am not ready yet and he says that he is happy with waiting ...
A. 19 January 2008: well I think you should sort of assume it's going to be a little awkward at first, it might not be, but it's best going in it with a little sense of humor...if something goes wrong, try to brush it off or laugh it off, because neither of you are ... (read in full...)
I have a really funny problem but I'll say it anyway.
Q. I have a really funny problem but i'll say it anyway. My best friend who is a boy i have known for about 3 years now. We are so close that we could pass for brother and sister. We talk loads when we're alone but when there's another person there he...
A. 19 January 2008: I can't really tell if you have feelings for your best friend or not, but it sound to me like he pushes you off when the other girls are around because they might get the wrong idea and think that you two are together, and perhaps that wouldn't be a ... (read in full...)
We love each other and want to be together, but our parents don't approve. What can we do?
Q. i am 16 and my boyfriend is 23. he lives in cali and i live in las vegas. we love each other and would want to be together and get married but our parents don't approve. we have tried everything to be together and i don't know what to do....
A. 18 January 2008: You'll probably kill me, but you should try looking this at your parent's perspective...why would this man be interested in going after a highschooler and not someone his own age, would you be interested in pursuing a relationship with a 9 year ... (read in full...)
Worried my gf's good looks will go down the tolilet! How do I tell her this?
Q. Hi, I have been seeing my girlfriend now for about 9 months, when we 1st met, she blew me away- nice personality, beautiful looks, a great smile and a lovely body. She has just started using the pill, I said I would use condoms but she wants to use ...
A. 17 January 2008: Although I can see the superficiality in your concern, i think the anonymous person (third from the bottom) has an interesting perspective on what's going on. I know my bf has said things like he wants to see me care for myself, not necessarily ... (read in full...)
According to his rules, he's allowed to sleep with other girls, but I cannot sleep with other guys. If I went along with his idea what does this say about me?
Q. My ex and I have been seeing each other for awhile now. I REALLY like him, maybe even love him. He has said that he cares about me a lot, more than any other girl. We're not committed to each other although I do have deep feelings for him and I ...
A. 11 January 2008: Why is he in charge of making up all the rules of your relationship? I think you need to put in your input, and say it needs to be legitimately open on both ends, as long as everyone uses protection OR that his sexual experience with you is enough ... (read in full...)
He says we cannot share a relationship as he does not have a cell phone - to be able to maintain contact. Should I stay away?
Q. I lost my virginity to this guy a few months ago. Since then we talk. I want a relationship but he doesn't. He says he likes me, but it would be hard to be in a relationship because he doesn't have a cell phone and it wouldn't be fair to me ...
A. 11 January 2008: I don't think you should wait. i know i'm not everybody, or miss perfect, but I don't have a cell phone and I've been in a 2 year relationship fine..does he have ANY kind of phone? In general this is a lame excuse...i mean, by the summer, that's ... (read in full...)
Why two condoms???
Q. me and my boyfriend have decided it's time for us to have sex,the only problem is,he wants to wear two condoms for extra safety,but i have told him that they will rub together and brake but he won't listen,how do i make him listen to me? thanks...
A. 11 January 2008: if he hasn't done the two condom technique before, maybe you can scare him out of it and say something about how it already feels like a vicegrip using one, would really want to double that? my bf has probs keeping it up in ONE so i think two he'd ... (read in full...)
How is sexual pleasure related to using tampons?
Q. I have been using tampons for about 6 months now. No one has fingered me, or given me oral and i have not had sex. So many people say that you are sensitive in your vagina. If this is so, why doesn't it feel "nice" when you move a tampon in or out...
A. 9 January 2008: i'm not sure if you still mean in the inserter or just post-insertion, cause tampons are pretty dry, it's probably like rubbing straight cardboard up there, sorry for being graphic! you can experiment if you're feeling comfortable, and feel the ... (read in full...)
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