How do you help someone with a fear of flying?
Q. My boyfriend has a serious phobia of airplane rides. We've been dating for a year and will be taking our first international trip together soon. We're both looking forward to the trip itself but as our flight date approaches, he's becoming quite ...
A. 9 May 2013: You guys are taking steps to prepare which is very good.
Some people claim that hypnosis by trained therapists specializing in the field has helped.
As someone else mentioned, speak to the airline. While not likely, it is possible you may... (read in full...)
He's asked me to be more aggressive during sex. Suggestions?
Q. So, my boyfriend has been asking me to be aggressive with him while we're having sex. His most recent request "I seriously want you to rape me sometime. Force me to do stuff like that, hit me, scratch me, bite me, punish me. Call me names. Pee on ...
A. 9 May 2013: He sounds like he may be submissive and is asking for a mistress who is into golden showers. If you read up on the topic, it may provide some useful info.
Don't feel bad if this is not to your liking. You kinda either like this type of stuff or... (read in full...)
Is it wrong not to pick up to everyone who wants me to be the strong one and care for them, and to have fun instead?
Q. am tired of taking care of everyone else, and when it comes to seek for help, no body seems bothered. in my relationship with my bf, am like the guy i pay for all the bills. in fact i haven't paid my rent bill for last month, but am not whinin...
A. 9 May 2013: Please read what you are saying. They have dumped so much guilt on you that you feel bad about going to a party?
The worst part about all this is that the more they come to rely upon you, the less able they are to take care of their own problems... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has problems with porn.
Q. Every now and then I go on my boyfriends computer to use it and sometimes I find screen shots of him skyping with girls who are showing their ass to him and stuff like that. Or conversations of him having "online sex" if you will, with random people ...
A. 9 May 2013: He does what he does. This is not about you. It has nothing to do with you not being good enough and there is no reason as to why you should feel horrible about yourself.
You can talk to him and invest the time and effort (and all that this ent... (read in full...)
Is it really just that I have terrible luck and that every time we make major plans she has some other important thing come up in her life?
Q. am I overreacting and being unnecessarily suspicious or do I have actual reason to worry here? my gf and I have gone out for 3 years. we're in college together. over the time we've been together, things have been great. we have minor arguments ...
A. 9 May 2013: I think she gave you the magic answer you are looking for: "what the hell am I supposed to do? i can't please everyone!"
This isn't about pleasing everyone. This is about consistently missing dates with a person she has been with for 3 years. Y... (read in full...)
Hurt and confused after she breaks it off, what should I do?
Q. So I had been seeing this woman for about 6 months. She is older than me. I am 29 and she is 42 but I the age difference has never been an issue as she has always dated younger guys. We really hit it off and have a lot in common and have gotten ...
A. 8 May 2013: I'm about her age and used to drink but have since stopped. I find alcohol to be ridiculous as a concept that has an even more ridiculous affect on people. I can't believe I even came close to the stuff for so many years let alone drink the way I ... (read in full...)
My American wife finds my comments on her body cheap!
Q. Actually, I'm from Pakistan who came to US 2 months ago after my wife Spouse Visa petition for me was approved. two and half years ago, we met through internet dating and got married in third country " Dubai". I'm 32 whereas she is 40. She is ...
A. 8 May 2013: Whatever the case may be, she doesn't like it. So, change the nature of the comments. If that is all the "compromising" married people had to do, the world would be a much happier place.... (read in full...)
How do guys feel about direct approaches like the one I'm thinking about trying?
Q. Hi. I currently go to college. In one of my classes, there's this really attractive guy who I keep checking out [I can't help myself] and he usually catches me looking, but I quickly look away and mentally nag myself that I should've kept ey...
A. 8 May 2013: The reasons you give for not having spoken to him yet are not convincing. You have the courage only when he's not there?
Long story short, you are tripping yourself up. Just do it and that's it!... (read in full...)
They've been acting odd ever since we came back from our holiday and asked them to move their car from our drive!
Q. I'm in an awkward situation with my neighbours and need advice... My husband and I live in an area whereby none of the houses have a garage and there is only 1 car space in the drives. There is an alternate parking area which is 10 minutes wa...
A. 8 May 2013: I'm amazed that you would even let something like this trouble you. You give them your driveway to use during your absence and then they complain? What possible motivation would that leave you to EVER let them use it again?
If they aren't embarras... (read in full...)
How do I relax my muscles consistently so that I can squirt?
Q. How do I relax to squirt? I been having this problem for a while I'm use to gripping my muscle but sometime I relax and thats when I squirt during sex or oral sex. I want to be able to do it at all times, my husband like it....
A. 8 May 2013: There is a particular method of stimulation that supposedly makes all (perhaps most and not all) women squirt. Won't get into the details here but there are videos about it.... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend broken up without telling me? He owes me money!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf (or ex) of 3 years was very abusive lately (verbally), we had a fight, actually to be precise he called me names and stormed out of my apartment. He said he's getting bored with me, i tried hard to make myself interesting to hi...
A. 7 May 2013: Yes, chances are he dumped you but that's not really the point. It really doesn't sound like you ever had a very solid relationship.... (read in full...)
Nothing seems to turn me on anymore. Is it my age?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 24 years and have always had an active sex life together, at least 3 to 4 times a week even while he's been truck driving and is only home 3 nights a week, it's still 3-4 times a week. In all these years I can ...
A. 7 May 2013: It isn't crazy to imagine that you may be less horny since you play with yourself. All people are different but since you aren't getting turned on as much, you may wish to lay off the masturbation and see if that helps.
Are your masturba... (read in full...)
Is it flirting? Being drunk? What kind of behavior is this?
Q. If a bloke is out getting drunk every day without you. then when you are there he drunkenly flirts with everyone ,that makes him a flirt. right? harmless drunken flirt. But if he ignores you and later on when u pull him outside to ask him to st...
A. 7 May 2013: The question is: What kind of behavior is this?
My answer is: Childish and unacceptable.
Who wants to be with a drunk anyway?... (read in full...)
Do I leave or Do I stay?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 15 years (together for 17) and have 3 children (17, 14, and 12). Things between his family and I were tolerable at best in the beginning, but it was well known that they didn't like me because I am white (he ...
A. 7 May 2013: You say you want the good days of your marriage back but you didn't mention any details about how it was better and why you miss it. It sounds like you were never really accepted. You are simply an outsider and are being ganged up on. You are bein... (read in full...)
Should you be worried if your partner says they don't know why they love you?
Q. So I hear recently from a radio advice guru on love that it is always important to ask your partner WHY he or she loves you. If they can't tell you...then it's a cause for concern. The reason he said that is that often infatuation is mistaken for ...
A. 6 May 2013: While it is natural that some people may have a hard time clearly expressing something as complex as "love", the "It's just a feeling" explanation is a bit too nebulous.
There is a foundation that revolves around physical attraction, actions,... (read in full...)
I am extremely unhappy with me weight...can you help?
Q. I am very overweight and i am extremely unhappy with my weight. I am 5'5 and currently weight 122.5kg, i have lost 2 kg but even with exercise and lowered calorie intake it wont shift anymore. When i started loosing weight i lost 3 kg, put on 4, ...
A. 5 May 2013: Without doing anything extreme, you have to reduce your caloric intake and increase you level of physical activity. This is widely and generally accepted.
If you believe your situation is somehow unique or there is some underlying medical ... (read in full...)
I met the perfect guy but it's completely the wrong time for a relationship. Advice?
Q. I really, really like this guy I met very recently at college. Though I don't know him very well, from what I've seen of him he has an amazing personality, is extremely caring (spends most of his free time volunteering and helping others) and that's ...
A. 3 May 2013: You make him sound like a really exceptional person and it's easy to see why you would even consider pursuing a relationship despite the difficulties you mentioned. That being said, you are putting the cart ahead of the horse a bit because it ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend stayed the night with her ex. I don't know what to do!
Q. My Gf and I have been dating for 7months. Im 19 and she's 20. 2 days ago her ex and some of his friends were in her city and asked her out. The very last minute she left, she told me she'd stay the night with them. (at the time i didn't know her...
A. 3 May 2013: You are right to feel uncomfortable and she probably knows this will make you feel uncomfortable. Would you put her in such a position?
Just because you have been going out for 7 months doesn't mean she is yours to lose.
... (read in full...)
Sister in law friendship dilemma
Q. I have a dilemma regarding my sister in law. We used to be best friends and when her abusive boyfriend dumped her, I let her move in with me and my husband. I looked after her, helped her get back on her feet etc....like you would for a friend. ...
A. 2 May 2013: She told you to get rid of your unborn boy? This woman is insane!
His family should respect him enough to refrain from everything you just mentioned. Your husband should respect you enough to request that they stop.
... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's father a deal breaker for us?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years, we are both 25 years old. We have our problems, but I really need advice on one thing that's incidentally not his fault, as i'm not sure whether it's a deal breaker or not.. We've been living toge...
A. 2 May 2013: This is the way it usually works in families. There is always one of the children that gets the burden. And yes, I used the word burden on purpose. The father should not be troubling and burdening his son in this way. It is one thing if he does... (read in full...)
We are going to hang out at his apartment, alone, and I'm as nervous as all get out!
Q. I have been talking to this guy for two months now and thisnSunday we are suppose to hang out at his apartment, alone, while his roommates are at work. We've hung out before just not THIS alone. And well, clearly I'm nervous as all get out. He is ...
A. 1 May 2013: You wrote:
"...and I'm not sure how to tell him I'm not ready to go to that level with him."
You just come out and tell him, "I am not ready to go to that level yet."
Ease into this on your own time and comfort level. If he pressures you or ... (read in full...)
Am I a lesbian?
Q. So im 14, I HAVE ALWAYS ALWAYS liked boys. I have many pictures of male celebs on my wall and phone. I have always made sure i looked good when a hot boy has walked past. Tried to impress boys make them like me. Started friendships and formed ...
A. 1 May 2013: Don't beat yourself up about this at such a young age. Live your life and nature will take its course.... (read in full...)
Her mother is encouraging her to put the brakes on
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. We have a great relationship and after about 3 months we introduced each other to our own kids. One issue we have is that her mom doesn't feel she should be dating anyone right now due to the ...
A. 1 May 2013: It is already impacting your life!
Assuming your girlfriend is 41-50 as well, I see little reason as to why her mother would play such a pivotal role in these decisions. If your girlfriend wanted you there, you should be invited.
Her mom... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this girl and my strong dislike for her?
Q. Hey guys. How do you deal with people you really dislike? Basically, there is a girl who is the girlfriend of a friend of mine. Not only does she always cheat on him and treat him really badly, but she also knows my boyfriend, and she is always al...
A. 30 April 2013: Just outclass her. That shouldn't be too hard! If your friend and boyfriend can't see her for what she is, perhaps you should start hanging around more perceptive people.
I realize that sounds a bit harsh but if her boyfriend puts up with that tre... (read in full...)
Should I just give up on him?
Q. I've known this guy for a while now he's really sweet, polite and cute. We text every week and we have hung out and he recently introduced me to his friends. We are friends and I do like him but he's going to be going away for a few months and it's ...
A. 30 April 2013: This relationship hasn't progressed enough to where it could flourish with a 2/3/4 month separation.
A few ways of going about this:
1. Play it cool and maintain the status quo with the occasional communication during his absence and try to r... (read in full...)
I feel isolated and hopeless to ever have a good relationship
Q. I have been in a second time around relationship with a passive aggressive man. I understand he will not take responsibility for his actions, and will simply be contrary in order to evade "giving in" to me. He had insisted that we become engage...
A. 30 April 2013: So, you are lonely and don't have much of a support system, therefore you have to be with this "less than stellar" guy?
I think your reservations are correct and the stupid thing is to allow your insecurity to lead you back to a question... (read in full...)
She moved on, why did he succeed where I failed?
Q. I broke up with my ex of 2 years because the relationship was very toxic. She treated me very badly and I didn't respond in kind. She had a very tough past and kept remnants of it. After 2 prior breakups, I realized that this one was for good and ...
A. 30 April 2013: I am not certain I see what the question is. She wanted to get back with you. You were the one that declined. If you had accepted she would have come back to you.
It sounds to me like she was overly eager to find someone new and speaking about en... (read in full...)
The longer I'm with my b/f the more I worry about his past
Q. Here's my problem...i need to know how i can stop worrying about my past. Im 19 and in my second sexual relationship....i feel each to their own but my personal feel about sex is that it is something to be done with someone you love..i never had a ...
A. 29 April 2013: As long as he is devoted, dedicated and faithful, there is nothing to forget. All you can do is accept. That was then and this is now.
... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his anger?
Q. I have a boyfriend... we have been dating for lets say 4 years. In the last 3 years everything was perfect but lately as we have gone to college....i am facing a lot of problems because of him. he keeps yelling at me when he is angry with some one ...
A. 28 April 2013: It appears he doesn't know how to deal with his anger either. Maybe it's related to the stresses of being part or perhaps he isn't integrating into his new environment as well as he'd like to. Either way, these appear to be outbursts and there is ... (read in full...)
Is my older boyfriend just realistic or pessimistic?
Q. HI there, I am 22 years old (female) and my boyfriend of two years is 32. I know the age gap is big but so far its not worked too badly. My BF isn't very experienced and so it sort of works. My question though is this: I am a very positive person,...
A. 26 April 2013: Well, you are moving to America. Assuming he quits his job and comes with you, I think it will be very hard for him to be able to imagine what will happen.
Are you using this to justify leaving him? Are you afraid he isn't motivated enough t... (read in full...)
Going on holiday without my boyfriend - should I tell him the truth about where I'm going?
Q. Am i being selfish going on holiday without my boyfriend? I'm going to London for three days next week with my mum. My boyfriend doesn't even know yet! When my boyfriend gets paid, he goes to see his friends for about three days. Sometimes less, ...
A. 26 April 2013: So the real question is: "Should I have asked my boyfriend to come with me before asking my mom?" You're feeling a bit guilty because you excluded him by default. You probably should have talked about it. You should have told him that you... (read in full...)
Is he more into this relationship than he's willing to admit?
Q. An old relationship is in the process of being renewed. He says he wants to keep it casual, but is constantly saying and doing things that don't define casual. He comes over several times a week, sometimes, twice a day. If I don't call him, he ...
A. 26 April 2013: Well, regardless of how into this relationship he is, his means of expressing it seem erratic and juvenile. Hopefully, he isn't like this in other areas of his life. ... (read in full...)
How can I break up this relationship?
Q. I love a girl truely and so much... but she loves another guy who is not her religion. How can i break up this relationship? Please help me......
A. 26 April 2013: What does the other guy's religion have to do with this? Is that a scapegoat to cover up for the bitterness you feel?
If you have approached her and she made it clear that she loves him and not you, then you have to let this go.
Do not force ... (read in full...)
What does he mean he 'doesn't want drama'?
Q. Hi , so there is this guy at my work that I like so much but he is m y boss. I knoe he likes me too because of the way he act. But he never tells me that he likes me so last night I told him I like him very much and all he said was he is much ...
A. 26 April 2013: The fact that you work together is probably the main culprit.
If you have an argument or disagreement and that carries over into your work environment, it can create a very uncomfortable situation.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about dating. I really want to grow up but I don't know how?
Q. Hello everyone. I have really low self confidence and I don't know how to improve it. I always feel like I'm not as good a person as I could be. I feel like I could do more to make the world a better place by giving more to charity, getting ...
A. 26 April 2013: I am not very neat or organized either and I let the mail pile up too. The more it piles up, the more I look at it and it's a vicious circle. In my case I see paying bills and cleaning all the time as part of the rat race. I find it boring and ... (read in full...)
We don't have any kids and I even hate to mention this, but should I run before it's too late?
Q. My husband is a jerk and very careless with money! I don't even know where to start!!! Ok, I've taken a few deep breaths and I think I'm ready to explain. My husband is very naïve when it comes to all things money. For example, he wants to tak...
A. 25 April 2013: You are very unhappy. Threatening to divorce you because the line dropped is ludicrous at best. There is something else festering. People do not divorce because of a dropped call. Be 100% honest with yourself and then sit him down and explain what... (read in full...)
Why do guys like you more when you're taken ?
Q. Dear Cupid Why do guys like girl more when they are in a relationship? Why do guys pay more attention and seem to be attracted to women who are taken? When i had a boyfriend guys always wanted to take me out. But now that I'm single there's no g...
A. 25 April 2013: It works exactly the same way for men as well. I would even venture to say that a man with a beautiful woman on his arm may be more sought after than what you describe. In my estimation, this has to do with popularity and the forbidden fruit.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to experiment with a woman?
Q. I've been in a relationship for seven months and it's been great for the most part. He recently told me that he thinks every woman should have a sexual experience with another woman, especially if they're in college like myself. He doesn't want to ...
A. 25 April 2013: Let's keep this simple. Based on what you have written my answer is a resounding NO.
You feel how you feel. Do not let this trouble you or present any kind of dilemma.
Find someone with whom your preferences and morals are more compatible.... (read in full...)
My Mom seems to want me to be more like her. But that's not me. How can I handle this problem?
Q. hey aunties and uncles, it's not a relationship question, well not of the romantic kind anyway. just a quick background, As a child I wasn't very shy but as the years passed I suppose I became shy with strangers at school I wasn't bullied, ...
A. 25 April 2013: If I was a few years younger I would have asked you out! The real question is: Are you happy with yourself? Up to certain age, we can learn from and should listen to our parents. You are reaching the age where you are who you are. Your charac... (read in full...)
Is being better the key to being hot?
Q. I am just wondering, most of us know what makes a girl hot to guys, but what makes a guy hot to girls? Does a guy basically have to be better than a girl he likes, in ways that she feels is important, for her to perceive him as hot? E.g. taller, ...
A. 24 April 2013: Yes, it is a constant competition but you are over-analyzing it and turning it into something destructive.
As CMMP said, be the best you can be and everything else will fall into place.
... (read in full...)
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