A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Just a quick question if I may about office behaviour from women. I've got a big crush on this very special woman at work - we smile at each other alot (broad - not fake.......we're talking real crow's feet around the eyes type smiles here!) when passing in the corridor and occasionally have stilted conversations at the coffee machine - often talking over each other somewhat clumsily. I hang out in the middle of an open plan area whereas she is at the other end. The way my computer screen is tilted means I have a certain field of vision. This field of vision takes in one or two female co-workers close by (but not her since she sits way behind me). Quite often I've seen her walk by their desks as if heading off somewhere else, only to suddenly stop and retrace her steps as if she has forgotten to tell them something. She then hangs out in my field of vision talking to them for a while - but she does not look up at me. In fact it's almost as if she deliberately is not looking at me. I find this behaviour a little strange. She has done this a number of times. Being a man and therefore a complete idiot I'm kind of thinking she may be 'performing' for me. Do any other women do this sort of thing i.e. have 'after thoughts' and take a step back to talk to female colleagues knowing full well they might be in the field of vision of a guy who might have the hots for them? It's almost as if she is thinking of an excuse to talk to them. Usually when I talk to someone at work I know what I need to say and go straight up to their desk. I don't walk by their desk and then suddenly remember that I need to talk to them and then go back. That's why I find her behaviour a little odd. She does this alot. Is she performing for me or am I (like most men) deluded? Thanks for any thoughts. P.S. She's gorgeous.....crow's feet smiles, remember!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Why don't you just ask her out? It sounds like you are both flirting for sure and if you don't strike while the iron is hot she may go cold on you. Just one tip though - definitely don't mention her crows feet on the first date.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Even if everybody says they do it only for people they are interested in. She might be naturally forgetful and that's why any advice could be wrong. (think of ask the audience on millionaire, they do get it wrong). Becareful in reading what could just be a naturally friendly person.
My feeling, though from what you have written is good, go enjoy. Have some balls and ask her for a coffee (and love the way emilyanswers suggests) or drink sometime. she will either say yes in which case good luck! or no in which case she will tone down the walk etc. and you will feel like a tit for a few hours. But at least you will know.
love to know how it turns out.
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 February 2009):
It sounds very childish but I must admit that I have made sure that I've walked past guys I like in the past deliberately... given my step a bit of extra wiggle and then very carefully checked to see if they are looking at me.
It's a very subtle way to see if they actually like you or not.
My advice to you is that next time you are having a chat by the coffee machine you should mention how rubbish the coffee is here and how you might like to take her out for a Decent coffee somewhere else one lunch time....
Good Luck!! xx
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