What can I do when she gets in a mood like this?
Q. My friend has been really difficult and I don't know how to deal with it or if it's even worth it. She's been having a hard time the last couple of years and the things we both went through in life is what made us bond in the first place, as much ...
A. 22 February 2016: In life you can be an optimist or a pessimist. You might as well be an optimist. The outcome overall is much better. It is a better way to live. You are nicer to be around.
If someone is being a pessimist to protect himself from disappointment then... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love two men at the same time?
Q. Is it possible to love two men at the same time. I am still in love with my first boyfriend. He has never left my heart recently came back after not seeing for nearly 20 years. The feelings came back instantly. I am in love with my child's father ...
A. 2 February 2016: Have you posted this question before? It seems familiar. My answer is that you can only have half the world. And two, choose the lighter happiness.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't know the difference between making love and just having sex
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship. When I'm with my boyfriend, we usually spend a week together each visit. During that week he's want sex at least once, sometimes twice per day. He has a high sex drive and is always erect when we lay together. ...
A. 2 February 2016: I have to ask you, why are you in a long distance relationship? Is it that you used to live close to each other and one of you had to move away? Or is it that you discovered each other on line and hoped you would be a good match?
The success of all ... (read in full...)
My Gf says I'm boring. So what nice things can I do for her, other than buying her things?
Q. She's my first girlfriend and we've been together almost a year. It seems she has always wanted me to be more of a boyfriend and do more things for her, though she's told me I'm getting better at it and then she'll just tell me again later she still ...
A. 2 February 2016: If you are doing everything you can think of then that's all you can do. If she isn't happy with you then you both need to find a more suitable mate. You can't spend your life running to catch up. It sounds as if you are under the thumb. Be ... (read in full...)
Shall I continue with this charade, in an effort to expose his cheating ?
Q. Hi, I am little embarrassed to say this but I just found a profile of my bf on match.com, the profile is active and it has his name and age and a couple photos also.. He says he's single and looking for female from 21-34. He's 29. I am 37... I feel ...
A. 2 February 2016: What do you hope to achieve with this game? You know enough to confront him already.
If you are determined to drag this out then you probably have imagination enough to continue. You won't shock him into changing. He's just going to move on doin... (read in full...)
How could I be so dumb?
Q. How come I was so dumb, I work hard at my job, single parent, an now my teenager, had a baby, so, I take of a baby now too, I met someone, everything was going great I thought, I treated her like women always said, they like being treated, like an ...
A. 1 February 2016: You have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and carry on. Not everyone in the world is bad. There is goodness and if you look you'll find it. Everyone makes errors of judgement along the way. Don't be bitter. Be thankful you found out sooner ... (read in full...)
I've been dreaming of my ex. Should I send him a valentine message?
Q. Please help me make a decision. I meet up with my first love in the Summer last year. It was great seeing him after not seeing him for over 10 years. We dated a few times, the chemistry between us was amazing. After date 2 he really came on t...
A. 31 January 2016: Why don't you be a bit more positive. Tell him it was great seeing him again, and it would be marvellous to renew the acquaintance on a more regular basis. And ask how he feels about that. The worst that can happen is that he says no.... (read in full...)
How can I secure myself financially?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now... 3 of those we were saving up to buy a house. Well really he was the one doing the saving, as he served in the military and I was a University student on a tight budget. After finishin...
A. 31 January 2016: A will won't secure your future because it can be changed. Marriage would give you rights but it would still be preferable for the house to be in joint names.
The alternative is to make your own money, and keep it separate. Also and main... (read in full...)
What can you advise in this situation? It feels like I am option two.
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks and it's been amazing. The connection is unlike anything I've experienced in such a long time. I started to fall in love with him the second I first saw him. Magic. We love each others company, the sex is t...
A. 31 January 2016: I agree with you. It is a little insulting. If he has never met this person yet he is still going to check her out I too would feel slighted.
I can see his difficulty too. Her trip has probably been arranged for a while and it would be deva... (read in full...)
I "hooked up" with a guy I hardly know. No sex, but did try to give him a Bj. Will my next experience with a guy be better?
Q. I'm a 16 year old girl and a few months ago I stupidly and carelessly "hooked up" with this guy I didn't know too well. Please don't tell me I'm an idiot because trust me I've told myself that everyday since. Before that I'd never soo much as held...
A. 31 January 2016: Your next experience is in the future and the future isn't written yet. My advice would be to slow down. You are going to get a reputation as a little slag - the village bike - if you carry on like this.
You don't have to prove anything. Find some... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, his Mermaid, and me. Was he disrespectful to add a mermaid? How should I handle this?
Q. I will try to make this short and sweet. My boyfriend (we have been dating for a 1.5 year broke up a few times for 2 weeks). He is a big tattoo guy, He has a sleeve and half a sleeve on the other arm. I don't mind them, as I think they look nic...
A. 30 January 2016: First of all I have to say I think tattoos are a ridiculous waste of money. They are extremely non-com if you know what I mean? Having said that you are with a man who wants to decorate himself and has done so inappropriately for you. You can either ... (read in full...)
LDR. How do we make the most of our time together, and build our loving relationship?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 9 months we are 5 hours drive away. We unsually alternate the drive up or down. Usually we see each other late late Saturday, spend all day Sunday and most of Monday together, however we haven...
A. 30 January 2016: Unless there is some plan to be closer together with a time limit on it then your relationship has a dwindling future. Sorry but that's the nub of it.
You also need to be quite sure that he isn't just playing away while he is with you. You woul... (read in full...)
I can't make sense of this sexual stuff!
Q. Hello everyone... first post here, wanting to discuss something thats been happening for a while now and have never had any input from anyone else on the subject due to it being a pretty embarrassing to say the least. Anyway i have been with m...
A. 30 January 2016: I simply don't understand what you are getting het up about. Your girlfriend cares for you and just because she doesn't want to reproduce a previous relationship you are put out.
Get real guy! Relationships aren't about mechanical physical acts... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if this co-worker lied to me. How should I deal with her?
Q. I'm involved in a delicate situation and I may have been lied to and now I'm not sure what to make of it all... There's a girl in my office, she is 19 and a temp- she's been with the company for 5 months. She is quite and just gets on wit...
A. 30 January 2016: Report your suspicions, findings and observations to your line manager and HR. The responsibility is then theirs. You don't have the power of hire or fire so that's all you can do. They will at least be on the lookout for future reports from her.... (read in full...)
I need to focus on finding myself but don't know where to stop
Q. Hello Everyone I need advice on getting my health and energy back on track. I have a very stressful job but it's gotten to the point where I am blaming my lack of energy, and poor eating, failed relationship and not going to gym on my work ...
A. 29 January 2016: According to Bertram Russell: 'One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. If I were a medical man I should prescribe a long holiday to any patient who considered his work important.'
... (read in full...)
I walked in on my wife while she was performing oral sex. Should I end the marriage?
Q. Me and my wife have been married for 12 years now.I never expected this from her.One day when I got home from work I walked in on her giving head to another man.He immediately ran out of the apartment,didn't even have time to get dressed.In our ...
A. 29 January 2016: I sympathise with you. Your world has been shaken to the core. Things will never be the same again between you. You might be able to relaunch your relationship. She could vow to be faithful from now on, and you might forgive her. But I doubt it will ... (read in full...)
My husband won't stop badgering me about having a threesome
Q. My husband of 18 years has been pressuring me to have a threesome with another man. I am not comfortable with this but he keeps insisting that he wants to share me with either a friend of his or one of my choice. I am 60 and not real comfortable ...
A. 28 January 2016: Tell him no means no. Like it or lump it. You are in a legal union with one man, not his coterie. I think he probably is thinking about wife swapping in the future, and it doesn't sound like your thing. So put your foot down now.
You are going to h... (read in full...)
He's a good guy but I don't like the way he talks to me
Q. I have been dating this guy since November, we are not official yet but have told one another that we aren't talking or interested in other people. Lately we have been fighting, fights that I may cause but its because of how he talks to me. For ...
A. 28 January 2016: Perhaps you need to relax a little; allow a little more breathing room; let him come to you... If he has work commitments and you are frustrating them then obviously he might get short with you. ... (read in full...)
He's moving too fast and its turning me off. Do I just end things?
Q. Hi all, a bit of advice is required here please. I met a guy on an online dating app and we've been speaking for about a week. He told me I'm the first person he's been speaking to since his 11 year relationship broke down so I appreciate he is new ...
A. 28 January 2016: This doesn't sound good. You are an educated person. I don't need me to tell you this isn't right. Put your sensible head back on. To be honest when you ditch him you should also ditch the dating app. Sending you a skin flic is just tacky.
You shou... (read in full...)
Does he want it to be over?
Q. I met a foreign man living in the UK over two months ago and immediately entered into an intimate and sexual relationship and fell for him. He is 7 years my senior and at the moment he is working day till night all over the country so I never get ...
A. 28 January 2016: Have you posted this question before? If not there is someone with a remarkably similar experience to yours. I think the upshot is you need to find someone who cares for you; looks to your needs; and frankly is around more often than not.
You migh... (read in full...)
What can I do when she gets in a mood like this?
Q. My friend has been really difficult and I don't know how to deal with it or if it's even worth it. She's been having a hard time the last couple of years and the things we both went through in life is what made us bond in the first place, as much ...
A. 27 January 2016: This is someone who is struggling to come to terms with the realities of life. You are better keeping your head down and getting on with your own stuff.
When you are young you only see the difficulties in getting where you imagine you want to be. ... (read in full...)
Is he being insensitive or really think of not wanting to meet so he plays this *game*?
Q. So Ive been in a relationship with my BF for 7 months. He likes to call me by 30+ pet names and at one point started playing a game where I should say my real name is not my name or he will count strikes and skip meeting days we meet up on. He even ...
A. 27 January 2016: You don't have to join in his game. For heaven's sake what is the point of it? And as for missing 'meeting days' as your punishment...? That means it isn't a punishment for him. There is something very fishy going on that you don't know about. ... (read in full...)
Why is hubby hiding Viagra from me??
Q. I have been married for a very long time. About 10 years ago I discovered that my h was a porn/sex addict, he has never sought help, just thought that he could hide it better, now with the use of pocket porn, his mobile phone, he has a constant...
A. 26 January 2016: Yes ask him. Why not. What's going on? You need to know. And there definitely needs to be some improvement in the sex between you. Time for a summit meeting I believe. If he doesn't attend to your needs then it's time to start withdrawing some ... (read in full...)
Is this the end of the line?
Q. I met a man over two months ago and immediately entered into an intimate relationship and fell for him. He is 7 years my senior and at the moment he is working day till night all over the country so I never get to see him. Our last date was 2 we...
A. 26 January 2016: I think between you and me you can do better than this. What an awful state of affairs. You barely see each other, he doesn't want you to text and then you row. If he wants to keep you he needs to do much better than that.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and still a teenager and at university, what should I do?
Q. Okay so I think I'm pregnant and I'm petrified. I still live at home with my parents and I have a long term boyfriend but we're both at university and if I tell him I'm pregnant I don't want him to drop out even though I'll have to because I don't ...
A. 26 January 2016: In the months ahead you will need support. Your body has been programmed to expect a baby and suddenly it isn't going to happen. I am certain you made the right call. In the coming months be kind to yourself. Your boyfriend probably won't appreciate ... (read in full...)
Why are my friends giving me the 'cold shoulder'?
Q. Is there a way to tell friends that they are not being good friends without screwing up the friendship? I have known this couple for a very long time, but in the last couple of years it feels like they have been giving me the cold shoulder: I i...
A. 25 January 2016: Supposing they don't like you? What will you do? I suggest you assume that is the case and wait to see what happens. There could be a dozen other reasons, but like all the other aunts I would just be guessing. Presumably you have already asked the ... (read in full...)
Did I cheat and how do I fix it?
Q. I've just gone through a breakup and I really need an opinion on what to or whether I actually did something wrong to deserve being broken up with. I started dating a guy about 2 months ago. We went for a couple of drinks during the first week and...
A. 25 January 2016: Well you can see his point of view can't you. The life lesson here is never put yourself in the position where it might appear you are doing something wrong even if you are not.
You didn't do much wrong and could rightly believe you deserved a fair... (read in full...)
Am I afraid of being happy? Should I nip this relationship in the bud or let it grow?
Q. Background: I haven't been in a relationship since I was in a multi-year-long tumultuous relationship in high school (my first and only). It was a physically and emotionally abusive relationship and I have avoided relationships for almost six year...
A. 25 January 2016: I don't think this is the right person for you. You have been out of the game for a while and naturally want everything to go well. Once you become more comfortable with dating your radar will operate better and you will be able to pick more ... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suddenly making me comments and not explaining? I'm ready to leave!
Q. I don't know what to do or what to think and am trying to figure out what in the world is going on with my boyfriend. Maybe someone can help me out with this? We have been together for just over one year. Everything has been pretty good betw...
A. 24 January 2016: Break up with him, and when he asks why tell him it's his B.O., and you can't stand it anymore. The chipping away at your self esteem is poor conduct from someone you are supposed to be closest to. Save yourself from further insult.... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be getting serious about marriage?
Q. My boyfriend always talks about getting married and he has no problem with sex after marriage. He hasn't proposed yet but he always talks about setteling down, have kids and so on... And he's becoming over possissive lately. Could he be serious? ...
A. 24 January 2016: It does sound like doesn't it. Can you think of any other reason he would be talking this way? Do you talk about it too? Is it what you want? Questions... Questions...... (read in full...)
Do you think he was flirting?(Is my friend on to something?)
Q. A while ago I went to the gym with my friend. When we get there we're greeted by a personal trainer, he asks what we came for. He offered to show me what to do. I'm a stickler for not paying for anything, so I asked about payment. He said no, won't ...
A. 24 January 2016: Yes I think you are right. It is stock-in-trade for instructors particularly if you and your friend look 'fit' and not in an athletic sense. Don't fall for the old malarkey. ... (read in full...)
Have you ever had feelings for a guy who works at a store?
Q. Okay so I've been going to a store for months. I used to go there, buy my stuff and then head to my home. The past few months I've been having feelings for the guy who works there. Maybe because of the way he talks to me, but really im suddenly ...
A. 23 January 2016: He is just being friendly. If there is any more to it he will let you know. It's fun to have little fantasies about people but so far there is nothing to say he is interested in you other than a customer interaction. He might even be a bit ... (read in full...)
I don't have confidence in myself in regards to women and dating. Should I give up?
Q. Is it possible to give up on women? I have a very complicated history with them that ranges from saving a girl from getting raped in high school to getting left by my junior prom date for another guy at the dance. I have had one ex in high schoo...
A. 23 January 2016: I don't know anything about your approach but you are coming across as a bit desperate. You have done a lot of work on yourself which is commendable. Do you know anything about fishing? It requires patience and guile. It also requires you to be ... (read in full...)
I don't have confidence in myself in regards to women and dating. Should I give up?
Q. Is it possible to give up on women? I have a very complicated history with them that ranges from saving a girl from getting raped in high school to getting left by my junior prom date for another guy at the dance. I have had one ex in high schoo...
A. 22 January 2016: You have two choices: try, or carry on as you have been. What do I try you ask? Tell me what is the thing I haven't done?
In order to break your deadlock you need to do what you have been avoiding. There it is in a nutshell. You're welcome.... (read in full...)
Difficulties in the bedroom with boyfriend and I don't know how to fix them
Q. I am having difficulties in the bedroom with my boyfriend of three years and I don't know how to fix any of it. We have been very adventurous in the past. Our sex life was always amazing and I can't believe I'm asking for advice. A few...
A. 21 January 2016: Some sex therapy would help you. Generally you would have a period of abstinence. After a time some touching might be introduced but no full sex. Eventually you come together again in a fresh way. There will also be some discussion about how you ... (read in full...)
Why did he never before mention this ex that lives close to us?
Q. Hi I'm in a relationship for 3 yrs now we have a 1 yr old son the problem is we've had a few problems about him staring at other women and not making enough time for us due to his mates we were talking the other night and he mentioned one of his ...
A. 20 January 2016: Is there a reason he should have mentioned it? If it is an ex' then it should no longer be relevant to him or his life. And as to the proximity, what could be more natural than a girl friend who lives nearby. Is there something else that makes you ... (read in full...)
I don't have confidence in myself in regards to women and dating. Should I give up?
Q. Is it possible to give up on women? I have a very complicated history with them that ranges from saving a girl from getting raped in high school to getting left by my junior prom date for another guy at the dance. I have had one ex in high schoo...
A. 20 January 2016: What kind of therapy are you having? I hope it's not endless analysis. You can get someone to listen to you in a bar, particularly if you buy them a drink. It will work out cheaper in the end providing you aren't alcoholic.
Essentially you are over... (read in full...)
I realize things are over but am afraid to break up with unstable girlfriend
Q. so, i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years, i am now 17 and realise that our relationship is going nowhere. We have absolutely nothing in common and i don't enjoy talking to her any more. I feel that if I break up with ...
A. 19 January 2016: You need to sit down with her and have an adult conversation. You say you aren't talking anymore, well this is one occasion you need to face up to what is happening. No more blinkers. Be gentle but be honest. And listen. This is most important. ... (read in full...)
Online guy has me confused. I think he wants me to pursue him even though he gives nothing back
Q. Hi again all, the online dating drama continues! So I've been messaging a man online for a couple of weeks and he seemed really nice. He told me upfront he's looking for a relationship, as am I, but his actions since then have me confused and ...
A. 19 January 2016: I think you are quite right. He is wasting your time. He is putting in just enough effort to keep you interested but he isn't that bothered. Tell him, 'Sorry mate, but you just didn't cut it'. ... (read in full...)
Fiancé keeps nude and masturbation photos of previous ex's
Q. I feel silly and embarrassed for bringing this up, but it's been bothering me all day. My fiancé and I have been together for over 3 years and we are getting married in 6 months. For the most part, we have a good relationship, but an insecurity that ...
A. 19 January 2016: You need to get him to dump the pictures. It doesn't matter that his privacy was invaded. He left his computer open. Any anger will just be him trying to deflect what he has been doing.
You can't seriously be about to marry someone who is still carr... (read in full...)
How do I get my guy to be less of a gentleman?
Q. Hi. I have met this great guy. As soon as I dated him, I could see that he was as good as he looks. I look at the way he is with his son and my family and could really love him.He's so sweet, but sort of shy with me. He kisses me and calls me baby. ...
A. 19 January 2016: I don't think you can change him. He might bend a little towards your desires, but if you ask too much he will hate himself for giving in to his baser side. Leave time for him to become more relaxed with you and see how it pans out. If he is still ... (read in full...)
I flirted with a crush that is my boyfriend's friend and our room mate. How do I get things back to normal?
Q. I'm in a very confusing situation at the moment. I temporarily live with my boyfriend and his 3 flat mates. They are all boys about my age (19-21). Not an ideal situation to start with but on New Year's Eve while drunk with my friends I called...
A. 18 January 2016: The best thing is to leave your boyfriend as gently as possible. After a decent amount of time you can take up with your new fancy. I say leave a decent amount of time for everyone's sake. It's OK to date your current boyfriend's friend but not on ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and still a teenager and at university, what should I do?
Q. Okay so I think I'm pregnant and I'm petrified. I still live at home with my parents and I have a long term boyfriend but we're both at university and if I tell him I'm pregnant I don't want him to drop out even though I'll have to because I don't ...
A. 7 January 2016: You need to face up to this and quickly. Arrange an appointment at the Brook Advisory Clinic. They are in Birmingham and London. Don't delay. Time is of the essence. ... (read in full...)
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