A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How come I was so dumb, I work hard at my job, single parent, an now my teenager, had a baby, so, I take of a baby now too, I met someone, everything was going great I thought, I treated her like women always said, they like being treated, like an angel, but am hurting so much, now, she ghost me, how come I was so dumb, I treated her to good, an am the one who got hurt, an she doesn't even think about me, I thought I was doing everything, to make her happy, but it hurts so much, knowing, I fell in love with a woman, who don't even , remembers,me, been two months, I have alot of women, who likes me, I gave them all up, an now my heart is broken, please tell me, how could I be so dumb
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 February 2016):
 It happens that you don't pick a "winner". No need to beat yourself up over that. If you had a LOT of women who likes you, it shouldn't be too hard finding a good one.
And maybe, dear OP go slow. You said it was a 2 months? relationship? So while you might have felt "this is it!" - she didn't. Which means it wasn't a great match. Definitely a good thing to know it now, instead of a year down the line.
Don't go bending over backwards, and come on TOO strong. Take it slow, learn to go with the flow.
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (1 February 2016):
I agree with Denizen’s very good response. There is a saying in Britain: “Treat them mean, keep them keen.” I don’t agree with it: you should never be mean to anyone, and if you are they might just go off you. The point of it, though, is that you don’t give too much, too soon. Instead, you hold back a bit and get to know the person. If you’ve got money, for instance, don’t lavish them with pricey gifts straight away so that you can be sure that they’re not just interested in your money. If you’re really affectionate, try and withdraw a bit and keep a bit of distance at first so you can be sure they’re not just thinking of you as a safe and secure option.
The point is, maybe you shouldn’t have treated her like an angel until you’d really fallen for each other. Perhaps she took advantage of you, or perhaps she found you too intense. Next time you should hold back a bit, get to know the person first, and then start being more generous. I think you invested all your emotions in some-one before you knew whether you were compatible and that’s why it hurts so much now. Play it a bit cooler next time. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Don’t assume that you should treat anyone a particular way because you think that’s how women like to be treated: women are not all the same and neither are men. Talk to her, find out what she wants and how she likes to be treated, and build a relationship slowly. You sound like a good man so there will be some-one out there for you.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 February 2016):
 You have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and carry on. Not everyone in the world is bad. There is goodness and if you look you'll find it. Everyone makes errors of judgement along the way. Don't be bitter. Be thankful you found out sooner rather than later.
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