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Shall I continue with this charade, in an effort to expose his cheating ?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 February 2016) 7 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi, I am little embarrassed to say this but I just found a profile of my bf on match.com, the profile is active and it has his name and age and a couple photos also.. He says he's single and looking for female from 21-34. He's 29. I am 37... I feel soo stupid to believed that he would change since this is not the first time. I myself create a fake profile with a random Google picture and I am starting to chatting up with him.. I don't know what to do in this point.. I want to confront him now.. But also I want to play his game and see how far he goes with it..I feel so betrayed and I just want a little revenge to be honest .. Last time I believed what he said.. It is spam.. Bla bla. Now I know is real and I just want an advice, should I continue with the game? I want to plan a blind date and give him a nasty surprise with my presence...

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (3 February 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntTell him out right:

I noticed your profile on match.com says your single...too right, we're done!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2016):

Thanks a lot for the great advices. I did delete the fake profile on match. I just can't continue on this ...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2016):

"I want to plan a blind date and give him a nasty surprise with my presence..."

It won't do any good. He will immediately turn it around throw it back in your face by claiming he knew it was you all along and/or blaming you for driving him to seek affection from another woman.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to get back at him for playing you; he just doesn't care and once he knows he's found out he'll simply forget about you and move on to the next gullible female he can take advantage of.

Lowering yourself to his level won't change anything other than diminishing yourself.Best to follow others' sound advice and simply walk away with pride and dignity intact.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (2 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntDelete your match account. Tell him it is over, who wants to be with someone so dishonest and loyal? Don't let him talk you in to staying you deserve better.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (2 February 2016):

Garbo agony auntThe bind date plan sounds great in imagination, but in reality such pay backs rarely have any impactful change, nor is it reconciliatory action. Let's be realistic, once you show up on that blind date it is doubtful that he will respond as "Oh gee, I made a mistake sorry. Can I have you back". Nor will you want him afterwards.

So it's all a waste of time although, I know, it feeds your anger at how he is playing you.

I think you should just silently break up with him, remove all ties with him and go no contact. You'd want to do it ASAP because he is holding on to you until he finds a replacement. At least you will spoil his plan, and move on faster. There is nothing that can happen with that guy.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 February 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Denizen,

Who get in the gutter with him? How is that going to help you? It's not like you will get to feel better or get "closure" from it.

I'd just end it. Let him wonder why.

My guess is, if you set up a "blind date" and shows up he will pretend he knew all along and was actually trolling to catch you. And guess what? You would look as unreliable as him.

Don't let him use you as a bedwarmer till he find someone else, just kick him to the curb and know that YOU can do better. And if a guy in the future "magically" has a dating profile, you just dump HIM unceremoniously too. And know that you CAN NOT change a guy into a decent faithful one, if he isn't being one on his own.

All you are doing is acting like a bitter immature person. And who wants to be bitter? Who wants to be seen as immature?

Dump him like yesterday's trash instead, because THAT is what he is.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (2 February 2016):

Denizen agony auntWhat do you hope to achieve with this game? You know enough to confront him already.

If you are determined to drag this out then you probably have imagination enough to continue. You won't shock him into changing. He's just going to move on doing what he does.

I would close the door on this at the earliest opportunity and never look back.

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