A
female
age
36-40,
*hh88
writes:I met a man over two months ago and immediately entered into an intimate relationship and fell for him. He is 7 years my senior and at the moment he is working day till night all over the country so I never get to see him. Our last date was 2 weeks ago and that was after a month of not seeing each other. Since we have got together we have rowed and then made up but the rows are awful.The latest set of rows stems from em never seeing him because of his job. To compensate I send him loads of texts in the day but he says he is too "busy" to reply. I am lucky if I get one phone call a day.I have been unhappy and miserable since being together but I have feelings for him which is making it difficult to let go.When we started out he said he has feelings for me to. On one occasion out of spite I went on a date with someone else to which eh reacted by going absolutely mad even though nothing happened. It was a cry for attention for me I suppose. The latest situation is my mum was taken to hospital and I rang him on a withheld number because he has blocked me from every communication channel.He has done this before on numerous occasions only to unblock and say he wants to get back together. My mum was taken into hospital and when I told him he reacted very coldly and then rang me twice at 3.30 in the morning when of course I wouldn't be up. He is still blocked me and made no contact 3 days later. I know my friends and family want me to move on but I feel I need to understand his behaviour. I am not a needy person but because he is constantly working away I have turned into one. I'd be happy with a date a week but it's more like a date every month. He can't change jobs and his situation is difficult. A big part of me wants to end it for good but I miss him.We have great chemistry when together and we got close very quickly. Please give me some advice. He says he is fed up with my constant texts and constant expectation for a reply to them. He said he is too busy and tired to bother to text and call me when he is away.I did genuinely believed he cared for me but now I just feel I annoy him but I only annoy him with the calls texts as I never see him. I miss the intimacy with him as when we are together he is very affectionate and we hold hands in street etc. He is also very critical of me and has been from the start. My domestic skills, me behaving like a child, recently calling me fat even though I don't believe I am.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 January 2016):
 Breaking contact is the best thing that you can do, as you say yourself there was no joy from this, he has just made you ill.
A
female
reader, Hhh88 +, writes (27 January 2016):
Hhh88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, I have read all the answers and have blocked him from contacting me and intend to stick to this. Thank you for all the responses. I got so carried away in the drama of the last two months I was starting to become ill. I also a pregnancy scare to deal with on my own. The more ill and desperate I became the more I feel that I needed him. By the way I know he definitely isn't married but that's irrelevant to the overall situation really.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (26 January 2016):
You say you immediately entered in to an intimate relationship with him, to me this sounds like he may only be after sex with you. He blocks you because he doesn't want you contacting him, more than likely he is with another woman and doesn't want you disturbing it, or it could be that he is married. Nobody is to busy with work all the time to not have time for a quick call. He keeps you at arms length so he can have sex with you when he sees you. He tells you all the right things when you are face to face so that he can get in to your pants, but when you are apart he is rude and obnoxious because he does not want you pestering him or intruding in his life. You need to see that he is not who he says he is, and if he liked you he would make an effort but he doesn't, he uses you. You can do so much better but next time you meet someone don't get intimate to quickly with them because sometimes this can make you look easy to them and they lose respect.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 January 2016):
 You don't need to understand his behaviour. You need to understand that not everyone you're attracted to is an ideal mate and act accordingly.
This arrangement is going nowhere. Even if the man cared for you a great deal, his schedule is not conducive to a real relationship. You're sitting on your thumbs for a man who, for all you or anyone knows, is already married.
Then there is the way you act toward each other with all this fighting and blocking and unblocking. It's ridiculous and more than a little immature.
I think it's time to cut your losses.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (26 January 2016):
 I think between you and me you can do better than this. What an awful state of affairs. You barely see each other, he doesn't want you to text and then you row. If he wants to keep you he needs to do much better than that.
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A
female
reader, sharimartin  +, writes (26 January 2016):
Hi and sorry for your dilemma. I would suspect that you feel embarrassed and ashamed at this point. This guy is immature and doesn't know how to handle the situation and he's forcing you to behave immaturely as well. You probably don't want to hear this from a stranger however, if you don't get a handle on this off again on again relationship, you could end up floundering and it will affect your day to day life. You couldn't possibly keep up with this guy; he will wear you out emotionally and even physically. And why would you want to give him so much control over your life? Wait a bit, evaluate your feelings and life and perhaps look for a new love. Be aware and vigilant so another "bad" guy doesn't enter your life and if that happens, flee immediately. I'll bet you're a great gal and deserve a kind and loving partner who's into you. You want to feel loved, protected and cherished. Best of everything, Andie Mac
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): He's married I bet!! Good greif woman, don't settle for scraps of a person. If he wanted a relationship he.would be persuong you and be making the effort! Pah I have no time for time wasters which is what he is and I bet you he is married hence the non texting and phone call in middle of night and blocking!?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): you are not going to want to believe it but this man only wants you around for sex. once in awhile he'll throw you a bone and take you on a date and be nice to you, but that so you remember when he was being nice to you in the beginning. he only said that to get you into the bedroom and he did it fast. the man you first met does not exist, he has been showing you his true colors. he may very well be working a lot, but he is probably seeing other women and when you text like mad, you're messing up his game. those women are probably asking him questions about who was texting and he has probably told them that you are psycho and that you don't realize he is not into you. he probably ridicule you behind your back. he criticizes you because he only wants one thing from youand when he notices things he doesn't like, he tells you. if I were you, I would play the same game. I would send him one last message or text telling him that it is over and he is not to contact you. then I would block him on everythingif he calls from a blocked number, tell him firmly that you asked him not to contact you.I guarantee he will find a way to turn this around on you. he will make you the bad guy, he will make you look stupid. he may even tell you that he told you not to contact him and he will suggest that you are the one who is causing all the problems. even better, tell him you will not have sex with him ever again until he starts to treat you with respect. he will probably tell you he doesn't consider it a relationship and suggest that you were the one who consented to sex only. this guy has nothing to offer you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2016): There are so many negative comments about how this guy acts in your post I am just baffled why you haven't dumped him yet (or stopped trying to contact him). What exactly are you getting out of this? Read your own words as if it was a friend asking you-what would you say to them?
Plenty of other people will hold your hand in the street without all this other rubbish and sporadic meeting up and falling out.i hope you can take a step back and look at the whole picture here so you can find a relationship that's more worthwhile for you because this doesn't sound like it's working out.
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