My husband is angry and said I was careless!
Q. Hy.im muslim.my hubby got 2nd marriage.its a long story bt the short question is my husband shared something with me about hr..one day my husband nephew borrowed my phone when he was going with hr friends.me gave n he changed the sim.bt didnt ...
A. 7 January 2016: You just have to ride this one out. Also learn the lesson about saying only what you would say to a person's face. Then if they find out, you stand buy what has been written or said. Finally be aware of the trail you leave in emails and texts. ... (read in full...)
I think he is selfish and only thinks of himself!
Q. I have a bf of 2 years. He asked me to help him to buy an iPhone 6 months ago with my credit card. I did and he's making the minimum payments every month since I know he had a job but was looking for another with better pay. He got the second job so ...
A. 7 January 2016: He has done well to clear his credit cards and has a right to feel proud of himself. My advice would be to tear both of the credit cards up and use a debit card in future. It's easier to stay out of debt that way. Credit cards add horrendous ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make this work and make everyone see I won't screw this up again?
Q. when I was in my early 20s I did a lot of dumb stuff, I got into drugs, drank way to much and partying became my only concern. I dropped out of university and bounce from one dead end job to another but I was happy with the partying life style. I ...
A. 6 January 2016: It sounds like you have a good heart. I hope life cuts you a break. I think it might.... (read in full...)
Is there any way to make this work and make everyone see I won't screw this up again?
Q. when I was in my early 20s I did a lot of dumb stuff, I got into drugs, drank way to much and partying became my only concern. I dropped out of university and bounce from one dead end job to another but I was happy with the partying life style. I ...
A. 6 January 2016: The best way is not to screw up. The proof of the pudding is in the eating as they say. Are you fighting a drug addiction like H' Meth', or are you just weak-willed?
In family situations you always have to put the child first. What is going to happ... (read in full...)
My LDR boyfriend spends alot of time with a female friend. Am I paranoid?
Q. hiya, i have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. we have a 10 year age gap and met in july 2013 online, he then asked me to be his partner the following February. recently when on one of his female friend...
A. 6 January 2016: Long distance relationships aren't ideal even for partners who have been committed for a long time. Lovers are meant to be together. When they aren't it puts a strain on a relationship. Sometimes it changes the relationship.
It may be time for you ... (read in full...)
Help me escape my loneliness
Q. I don't know where to start since it is not a love relationship question. Several things have coincided (moved to another town and suffered from a rather long period of depression and anxiety) and I kind of lost touch with some of my old friends ...
A. 6 January 2016: Sorry, I meant to say CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). It concentrates on improving 'now' rather than raking over the past trying to understand what has gone wrong and what led you to your current state.... (read in full...)
Should I go with my girlfriend to the party and then break up?
Q. So i have a girlfriend but she is going to study abroad so we decided that we should brake up and stay as friends because long distance relationships dont usually work and we really want to stay as friends at least. We also decided that we wanted to ...
A. 6 January 2016: If you intend to be friends then start now. Go to the dinner party as best friends. You have in effect already agreed to separate. Go and have dinner and later hug, then shake hands, walk away and don't look back.
You can always keep in touch if y... (read in full...)
Help me escape my loneliness
Q. I don't know where to start since it is not a love relationship question. Several things have coincided (moved to another town and suffered from a rather long period of depression and anxiety) and I kind of lost touch with some of my old friends ...
A. 5 January 2016: Aidan is right. Volunteering is a great way to meet people and take your mind off problems.
Get out into the countryside too. Join a walking group if there are any near you. Choirs are another worthwhile pursuit.
I would also suggest that six year... (read in full...)
When's it over?
Q. Pretty simple question really - how do you know when a relationship is over? Its been rocky from the start, one of those cant live with each other cant like without each other relationships. I feel I give 110% all the time but get nothing in retur...
A. 5 January 2016: Do you like what's happening? Is it fun sparring with your lover? Do you like sharpening your wits, fending off attacks, getting back together again and making up?
Or is it just too tiring now? Eventually I think it gets stale. When you have had ... (read in full...)
OUCH! I find I have been viewing my lovely family through rose tintd glasses!
Q. I grew up surrounded by family. Until the past few months I believed them to be a close-knit unit, but as I get older I've discovered many of my ideas surrounding my family were rose-tinted and the underlying problems and arguments were hidden from ...
A. 5 January 2016: This sounds like a battlefield on which you should play no part. Let the pieces fall where they will.
If your opinion is sought then try to pour some oil on troubles waters. Otherwise keep your own counsel and appropriate distance. I can't see any ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to meet up with my ex's mom and tell her why we broke up?
Q. So I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years 2 days ago.. I'm not coping very well, I miss him dearly and never meant for us break up! We lived together with his mum and were planning a child this year and on moving out.. Him and his mum are really ...
A. 4 January 2016: Why not meet her? You say she was a second mum to you. There is no reason why you shouldn't go on being friends. Keep any bitterness or recriminations out of the dialogue and all should go well. She will be the first to sympathise with you if he has ... (read in full...)
How can I help my daughter to get through the hurt of a divorce?
Q. I have a 26 year old daughter. She is a very intelligent nice young woman although quite shy. Her and I have a close relationship and really all we had is each other. Her dad has never been in the picture and she has no siblings so she has alway...
A. 4 January 2016: You might try the library for books on bereavement because divorce is very similar. Some would say it is worse because the other person is still alive.
One begins to imagine what a great time they must be having while you, the one left behind, is i... (read in full...)
I don't want my boyfriend to give up
Q. My boyfriend has just suddenly told me he doesnt know what he wants in life. We havent been together very long (8 months). He said he lets things get on top of him and he feels pressure from work, friends, me, his parents... I told him i'm happy to ...
A. 4 January 2016: Ask him if he thinks his life is really better without you. You seem to be offering a lot of understanding. However if what you are doing doesn't help, it isn't helping if that makes sense.
At some point he needs to make his mind up about you beca... (read in full...)
We aren't dating but she says "luv ya" all the time. Confused and overthinking!
Q. I've only been seeing this girl for a month technically, we went on a few dates before we really kicked it off, we were doing boyfriend girlfriend things but we are pretty much in the romantic stages. We've only known each other for less then 3 w...
A. 4 January 2016: It sounds like the starter pistol may have sounded. Don't force the pace but it seems to me that there could be the start of something there.... (read in full...)
How do I just "grow a pair" and approach a girl who hasn't shown any interest in me?
Q. When going out, I often have girls giving me signals of interest. Then there are some really good looking ones that seem uninterested. I would love to ask out one of the latter ones. About three times I've been told by others that after I lef...
A. 4 January 2016: You could start by just passing the time with complete strangers in the street, or on public transport. You will find everyone will respond. Elderly people particularly like a chin-wag. You may be the only person they have spoken to all day. The ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend puts his friends ahead of me and its making me feel unimportant
Q. My boyfriend is a relly nice guy and a good frend. He's 26 and I'm 23 and we been seeing each othr for 2y. He has lots of close frends who he sees alot, guys and girls. He's quiet a popular guy where as Im way more reservd with only a few close ...
A. 3 January 2016: I think you need to build your own life that doesn't depend on him. Have your own interests and go out from time to time with your own mates. Just because you are a couple doesn't mean you have to be together all the time.
There has to be give and ... (read in full...)
I want to ask him if the kisses mean something more
Q. Have you ever fallen for someone only after you've kissed them? I was at a New Years party with a bunch of people I used to go to school with, and this one guy in particular. I've known him for 6 years and he really is the loveliest guy I know and ...
A. 3 January 2016: Sure text him. It can't hurt. Try to find out if he already has a partner. New Year's Eve has a lot of kissing going on and much of it is meaningless. Do you think he felt the connection too?... (read in full...)
How do I just "grow a pair" and approach a girl who hasn't shown any interest in me?
Q. When going out, I often have girls giving me signals of interest. Then there are some really good looking ones that seem uninterested. I would love to ask out one of the latter ones. About three times I've been told by others that after I lef...
A. 3 January 2016: It doesn't have to be an all or nothing approach. You can talk to them an lead up to asking if they would like to see you again. The role you are playing is actually very demanding of others because you expect them to come to you all the time. Your ... (read in full...)
When my boyfriend and I talk on Facebook he wants me to pretend to be another woman
Q. My boyfriend and I have developed this 'thing' where for some reason when we speak to each other on Facebook it's like he's talking to another girl. I know he likes to role play occasionally and that is fine or whatever ... but does him pretending ...
A. 3 January 2016: In that case I think your actual relationship needs grounding. It's a tough one because I can see that what you have developed as far a role play goes may be an important factor in keeping the interest between you alight.
However you have to look... (read in full...)
When my boyfriend and I talk on Facebook he wants me to pretend to be another woman
Q. My boyfriend and I have developed this 'thing' where for some reason when we speak to each other on Facebook it's like he's talking to another girl. I know he likes to role play occasionally and that is fine or whatever ... but does him pretending ...
A. 2 January 2016: This all sounds a bit weird to me. I mean, role play is one thing, but role play on FaceBook is, depending on how you look at it, very funny or very funny peculiar. I guess the easiest thing is to ask him if he would like to have sex outside your ... (read in full...)
Is he warming to me and how can I get to know him better?
Q. I met a cute guy in some of the fitness classes at the gym, and am starting to like him. He seems shy, so I sent him a fb friend request (2 mutual friends) in November and he accepted. I started trying to interact with him after that, but did no...
A. 2 January 2016: It all seems to be going in the right direction for you, but you need to find out if he has a significant other. At the moment he is just being friendly. You need to find out if there is room for progress in the future or will you just stay on ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend stopped speaking and I don't know why
Q. Hi everyone. I dont know what to say to my boyfriend he hasnt spoken to me all week, We've been together 6 months ,we dont live together and had no problems before he went silent on me. Ive asked him if theres a problem but he hasnt replied. I didnt ...
A. 1 January 2016: If he isn't trying to get in touch it probably means he doesn't want to, and hasn't the guts to face you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Just act like you don't care.... (read in full...)
Husband doesn't please me anymore
Q. Hello! I have been married three years and I hate my sex life. Back in the days we used to have sex every day or so and I loved it- though i never orgasmed. Now I just got bored. Told my hubby I need oral to get off and he said it's not his thing. ...
A. 31 December 2015: Your marriage is at something of a crossroads. Either you both find a way to pep things up in the bedroom for both of you or, dare I say it, you ask your husband if he minds you looking outside the marriage to fulfil your needs. I imagine you have ... (read in full...)
Is it jealousy the issue or is something else the reason my fiance cannot deal with this?
Q. I met a guy and I seemed to like him and we decided to meet up and we had sex the first night. After that he acted like he doesn't know me. I contacted him a few times after that and he said I was expecting to be his wife and pushed him. And I...
A. 30 December 2015: Why don't you and your fiancée confront this nasty piece of work together. Meet up with him and tell him enough is enough. If he does not desist from making these malicious, salacious statement about you legal action will follow.
Clearly he is a pi... (read in full...)
What could I say in a love letter to girl, without frightening her off?
Q. I need to write a love letter for this girl im going to ask out. Only thing is I dont want it to be one of those over the top corny love letters. I just want to tell her how I feel about her, a little romance is ok but i dont want to scare her off....
A. 30 December 2015: To all writers, and would be writers the message is the same: 'Show, don't tell'.
It's the little things you do that prove your love, not what you write or say.... (read in full...)
How can I ever accept and forgive what she did?
Q. I realize I am being a complete hypocrite and I hate it but I can't change how I feel. BACKGROUND: I grew up in a Bible-based church where soul-winning, youth conferences, missionary work and Bible memorization were expected. Most children wer...
A. 30 December 2015: This isn't going to work out for you. If, with all your Christian upbringing you cannot forgive what is not even yours to forgive then it will always be a stumbling block between you.
You probably expect god to forgive you, but you can't accept he h... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 30 December 2015: I refer you to my original replies.... (read in full...)
Heartbroken over silent boyfriend
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months, but recently I've been pushing to see him more. I know i was wrong for being so bossy. He now seems to be backing off. I've hardly seen him and he doesn't put x at the end of texts. He also doesn't repl...
A. 30 December 2015: I think you need to back off entirely for awhile and then try again. It sounds like he isn't interested at the moment.
Also as a matter of courtesy I would be grateful if you could use punctuation and capital letters if you write in again. It's... (read in full...)
Is this man almost twice my age trying to get close to me? Ask me to move in with him?
Q. Okay so I've just met a guy older than me.. (50 years old) and he owns his own business and we have been chatting for 3 weeks at most. He invited me out out 2 times already. The first time I was cautious and questioned him a lot (after all he is...
A. 30 December 2015: It sounds like he does want to see if there could be something between you. There are people who are young at 50 and those who act middle-aged as teenagers.
Take some time and get to know him better. See if he has the qualities you are looking for ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be alone on New Year's Eve. Any suggestions?
Q. So...this may sound pathetic...because I'm going to be alone this New Year's Eve. My friends are either going to spend New Year's Eve with their boyfriend or their husband. And the only one single friend prefers to stay at home. I feel so lonely.... ...
A. 30 December 2015: You are starting to do,'Poor me'. Sorry, but stop wallowing in self pity. Get out there on the street and hug policemen and strangers. Dance in the fountain. Climb a statue and yell out loud. Drop into a bar until countdown to midnight. Have a half ... (read in full...)
She pushes me away but expects me to stay when shes hurting and says she needs me. What can I do to be more compassionate and understanding?
Q. I'm having a dilemma. My girlfriend is an incredible woman....considerate, generous, supportive, affectionate, honest, loyal, hardworking, compassionate, goal orient, intelligent, sensitive. Her amazing side is amazing. Then there is her other ...
A. 29 December 2015: This person has problems. You aren't supposed to be her social worker or her banker. Get her to go and get some medical help. I couldn't say whether it is psychiatric or hormonal but as Quentin Crisp wrote if you go in for self sacrifice in the end ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 29 December 2015: It's hard to say how interested he is. He might just be seeing what you will do - how far he can take it. He might even be in sibling rivalry. His brother has you, so he can too.
This could get very messy. If you aren't really happy with your curr... (read in full...)
How do I learn to fancy her again? I love her, I do, but I have stopped fancying her
Q. I adore my girlfriend, we have been together two years and have had an extremely rocky relationship. She's lied numerous times, we have broken up but always ended up back together. We argue, like all couples at some point but my biggest problem ...
A. 29 December 2015: Things change. You need to consider the reasons you love this person. As time goes on it is less about sex and more about companionship, trust, and the inner qualities in your partner you admire and respect.
You also have to accept the whole pack... (read in full...)
I regret taking my Bf back. I've fallen for one of my other friends. What can I do?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year... And we've broken up quite a bit, but we ended up getting back together again. Today was one of those days, and he begged me to take him back. I agreed, which I really regret now. I no longer f...
A. 29 December 2015: You need to stop messing this poor guy around. Leave him and leave him for good. You might break his heart but it happens to everyone. He'll get over it, and you will be doing him a favour in the end because he will find someone better than you for ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's brother attracted to me? What should I do?
Q. I really don't want to sound arrogant or full of myself but I think that my boyfriend's brother may be attracted with me and need an outsider view of the situation to tell me if I am looking too much into things. I also fear that I may now be attra...
A. 29 December 2015: Make it clear to him that you are not interested - unless you are in which case break up with his brother. But that will probably cause a rift between them so you had better take responsibility here for what is going on.
The brother's attention to y... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of bad odor caused by too much sweating?
Q. Hi, I'm 16 and a girl. I've got a really bad problem. :( It's about sweating! I sweat a lot! The climate here is about 25'C on average. I can still handle the sweating part, but the odor not at all! I get it from my dad's side of the family...
A. 28 December 2015: You say: "I'm not a fan of water and I know it's not a good thing and I'm trying to work on that."
Well that is your answer. You need to shower more often. Sweat doesn't smell bad BUT stale sweat does. Wear natural fibres and loose fitting clot... (read in full...)
How can I talk to my Dad about masturbation? I am trying to give up masturbating
Q. I am 15 and have been masturbating for maybe around a year and I ve really been trying to give it up. I feel really guilty and stressed and I wanna tell my dad but I feel like it would really change how he sees me, since we re pretty much bros I ...
A. 28 December 2015: Stop worrying is the first tip. Everyone, give or take a few asexual types, does it. At your age your hormones are going crazy and, having a 'J Arthur' (Cockney rhyming slang) is a natural and healthy release.
But why would you want to talk to your... (read in full...)
Am I a sexual interest or a potential friend?
Q. There is this married young lady who quite recently joined our workforce. From the first day she's been very friendly with me. I only work some of the day there as I go out every day to other places to do work. When I am in the area with her, our ...
A. 20 December 2015: This sets all sorts of alarm bells ringing. What do you think is going on? Could she be setting you up for a sting? She borrows a few quid, then a week or two later a bit more all with a plausible excuse.
You surely don't believe you are such a babe... (read in full...)
Dating has changed since I was last on the scene.
Q. I am recently seperated after 18 years (still married and wearing wedding ring) and been going out more so my question is 3 part... 1) what do men think of a lone woman sitting in a bar? Sad? Desperate? Prey? Easy? 2) A man bought me a beer a...
A. 20 December 2015: I think you need to give yourself more time. You have recently separated and that is a notoriously bad time to start having flings, one night stands or whatever you choose to call them.
I would think a woman sitting alone in a bar is either wait... (read in full...)
With a great partner but I'm tempted
Q. Hi - I met my boyfriend 2 and a half years ago during the first week of university and we've been together since. He's one of the kindest people I've ever met and is also funny ect. Honestly he makes me so happy and loves me completely, which I ...
A. 19 December 2015: I once knew a Cypriot waiter who used tosay: 'I look but I don't touch'. Many people get the 'hots' for individuals outside the relationship they are in. It's what you do about it that matters.... (read in full...)
She took the presents and ran
Q. Hello was dating this woman for a short time. I just gave her Christmas presents, then next day she broke up with me. Should I ask for them back?...
A. 19 December 2015: Why don't you arrange for a ton of horse manure to be delivered to her door as a follow-up New Year's gift? (only joking). ... (read in full...)
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