What's the best way to help a tired girlfriend in a long distance relationship?
Q. Hiya, In a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, at first swe was always texting so many times a day even though she has two jobs and we always managed to see each other every couple weeks. But past couple weeks she has been distant, ...
A. 8 December 2015: Dear Alex1982, when I said:"Do something unexpected and loving. Use your imagination. Be creative. Show you are prepared to go that bit extra", I was thinking of something more than a cuddly toy or flowers.
Like Clareamy said, take a day off work... (read in full...)
Should I confess all to my husband or should I not?
Q. I really need some advise without being judged because my guilt is turning into depression and I really don't know what to do at this point.I cheated on my husband with our neighbor. It all stems from a few months ago when my husband and I we...
A. 7 December 2015: I don't think that telling your husband is going to improve anything. Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie.
You have to be careful not to let this happen again. The thing about infidelity, no matter what people say is that you have alre... (read in full...)
After ages of friendship, he suddenly acts like I'm a stranger! Title
Q. I've liked a guy for almost six years now, and back when I first started liking him he was a total stranger. But I've always been able to "sense" who people really were when I first saw them, not based on appearance but instead on aura, and I felt ...
A. 7 December 2015: Sometimes people steer away from friendships they feel might become too heavy. The connection you consider exists might be more than this young man wants at the moment.
Don't make this attachment so important. You are young enough to be care... (read in full...)
Am I legally entitled to have that car back in my possession?
Q. Hi everyone, After 2 years of being with my boyfriend, I fear that things between us are coming to an end. For multiple reasons that I won't go into, I am very close to calling it quits, I can't keep going on like this. My real questions is...
A. 6 December 2015: If you want to be hard core then drive the car to a dealer and they will buy it off you and settle the finance too. It is going to be a lot easier if you have the log book, finance documents, and keys. If you and he are coming unstuck you had better ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to help a tired girlfriend in a long distance relationship?
Q. Hiya, In a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, at first swe was always texting so many times a day even though she has two jobs and we always managed to see each other every couple weeks. But past couple weeks she has been distant, ...
A. 6 December 2015: Do something unexpected and loving. Use your imagination. Be creative. Show you are prepared to go that bit extra. Txts really don't cut it after a time do they?... (read in full...)
Do men actually put in the energy to be in a place at a certain time when they can see a particular woman?
Q. I met a man at a convention recently and every morning for four mornings following this I would be walking through a very busy and crowded foyer, and would feel like someone was watching me. I looked up and around and he would be there in the middle ...
A. 6 December 2015: Just answered another question from you, Cleo26. Your question this time reminds me of a film staring Robin Williams and Geoff Bridges, The Fisher King. Why was he watching you? You should approach him and ask.... (read in full...)
Can a man not ask a woman personal questions and still be interested in her?
Q. I became Facebook friend with a man three months ago. For the past two months we have been messaging, playing word games in posts and emailing. Early on, he told me what his priorities in life were and asked me mine. My friend says he's intere...
A. 6 December 2015: The thing is it really doesn't matter that much as long as it stays on the internet. Real relationships happen real time in real life. If you are just pen friends it isn't ever going to be much more than that unless you bring it into the real ... (read in full...)
Is now the right time for us?
Q. I need help. I went to see my ex yesterday for the first time after two years since we broke up. When i got there it felt as if we were dating but things have changed, people change. I find him more interesting now than before. The chemistry is ...
A. 6 December 2015: Why do you think it will be better now? Is he more punctual? Presumably you thought he valued his friends more than you. You need to look into this more before you go back otherwise it could be the same old story. Put you sensible head on.... (read in full...)
Our eyes met and I felt a connection. I can't stop thinking about the barista..could he have felt it too?
Q. I walked in to my favorite coffee shop today and I saw that there was a new barista and I immediately thought he was cute. After I ordered my drink I sat across from the pick up area with my mom. When I saw the barista make my drink I was feeling ...
A. 6 December 2015: Why don't you write in when you have received more than one glance and a smile over your cup of coffee. I failed my O' level exam on crystal ball gazing so it's difficult to help you further. I'm pleased you are feeling the thrill of a possible ... (read in full...)
Shocked and hurt. What should I do? My long term Bf lied to me and spoilt our plans
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we have bought a house together and live very happily - we aren't the 'clubbing/party' type (especially him) .. In fact I gave up most of my partying days for our relationship and we usually go out as a ...
A. 5 December 2015: You could have gone with him couldn't you. Was it a surprise when he got plastered? Anyway he said he was selfish and offered to go to the market despite his hangover.
I think you need to build a little slack in your relationship. He doesn't norm... (read in full...)
I have hurt two boys who mean a lot to me. How do I get out of this mess and get my life together?
Q. hi, i really need your help. I am a compulsive liar and it has caused a lot of problems for me in the past but not as bad as the situation i am currently in. I started seeing a boy a few weeks before i left for university, we've been friends ...
A. 5 December 2015: If the truth must come out then it is best it comes from you. Let the pain you feel be a reminder never to get yourself in this situation again.
For the time being concentrate on getting through uni'. Your family situation is miserable, but if you ... (read in full...)
Is he too young for me? What do you think?
Q. im 31 and there is this guy who is 26, everytime i go into the store, he keeps flirting with me to the point that my bro thinks he will ask me out soon and a customer asked me was I his girlfriend…..the guy is a store manager at a grocery store…...
A. 4 December 2015: He isn't too young for you, but please be sure he is serious. Could it just be that his customer relations have gone a bit over the top?
Perhaps you should call his bluff and see how reacts. Tell him he can buy you a coffee in his lunch break. That... (read in full...)
My former friend: Should I text him, wait for him to contact me, or just let it slide away?
Q. Dear AgonyAunt,i am 16 and in grade 11 now. Today i saw my past crush/friend/classmate but i'm not sure that's really him. should i text him and find out or should i wait for him or should i just let that slide away? I unfriended him once 3 ye...
A. 3 December 2015: I think you are probably living too much inside your head. Get out there and have some fun. Stop agonising about the past.
There may be many friends or boyfriends in your future but you will never meet them if you are looking back.... (read in full...)
How can I make Christmas a success given my family's opinions about my boyfriend?
Q. I grew up in a very close family, I have a huge extended family and we are all very close. They are nice and loving but at the same time close minded and now I found out even racist. I have been in a relationship for 6 months , my parents have met...
A. 3 December 2015: You are at your Rubicon. Julius Caesar had to make a decision and so must you. Things may change in the future. When your family see the virtues in your partner they may come around and accept him. In the meantime make your stand for what you ... (read in full...)
Should I be mad at my boyfriend for not telling me when his flight leaves?
Q. I am very upset with my boyfriend right now. He is on his way back from visiting family in Florida. His plane was supposed to be leaving today. I know this because he told me that his return date is December 2nd. But I do not know the departure ...
A. 3 December 2015: Cut the guy some slack. You are reading far too much into this. He surely doesn't have to report in to you all the time does he?
In life what you expect of people isn't always what you get, and the reasons you don't get what you expect aren't alwa... (read in full...)
Should I pursue??? Am I being used ?? Does he just need a green card?
Q. I met a guy at a wedding we danced talked and go each others number then he went to were he was visiting which is 7 hours away. And hes here on a visa which means he only has about a month left but i cant go see him but hes trying to come down soon. ...
A. 3 December 2015: You say, 'Do I continue to pursue?' My answer is that this is where you step back and let him do the pursuing. You will know eventually how sincere his motives are. It could take time to suss him out completely.
Remember hot love is temporary. A lo... (read in full...)
My ex was very passionate after not seeing each other for 15 years. Does this mean there is a future for us?
Q. I met up with my first love a few months ago and have seen each other twice in nearly 6 months. the second time was so intense and we became intimate. When a man is so passionate with an ex girlfriend after nearly 15 years of not seeing her, is it ...
A. 3 December 2015: I wouldn't use the Christmas party to get the show on the road again. It's bad enough being invited to these things when you are in a long term relationship. It would be like putting him on display. Start back with a few quiet dinners out followed ... (read in full...)
Is she just being kind? Or does she like me?
Q. Hi, I'm interested in this girl I've been seeing for 3 months. We really hit it off, but 2 months ago she said she wanted to focus on her work as she is doing really well at the moment. I said I would support her and her decision. We remaine...
A. 3 December 2015: Has she been hurt before? Her quest for perfection is of course ridiculous, but perhaps it is just a term she used to say she wants to go slowly.
That's all right, but most people don't put prospective partners through an audition period. They just... (read in full...)
Mixed messages and conflicting signs
Q. Sorry this is a bit long. I have had a massive crush on a colleague for almost a year now (he is 30yrs, I am 27yrs). Our roles do not conflict or overlap, and neither one of us is in a position of authority over the other. Some of my closer friend...
A. 3 December 2015: Sometimes men can be quite dense about the signals that they are getting from a woman. Women seem far more perceptive when it comes to picking up the signals.
Why don't you message him wishing him a great holiday and hoping you can get together on h... (read in full...)
Is his rejection of me real?
Q. The guy knows I like him, but he always says he "hates" me. Although he's like that on the outside with other people when we text and stuff, he says he only says that because it's "funny". He acts like a complete a-hole, but I still like him and...
A. 2 December 2015: At this moment he doesn't seem that interested. Sorry to tell you that. Maybe things will change. Remember girls mature faster than boys, so perhaps he needs time to catch up and see what he's missing in you. If he is not the one there will be ... (read in full...)
I believe we could hae a future together but I want him to speak up and he doesn't. Should I?
Q. Alright. So, I met this guy a couple of years ago. It was a double date, and I was on a date with his brother. Months later, we had a class together and reconnected based on our first meeting. He remembered me from that double date, and he didn't e...
A. 2 December 2015: Of course speak up. You will always regret it if you don't. And your introduction to the topic could always be a question like: 'I wish we were closer so we could see each other now and then. What do you think? We get on so well. Should we consider ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to hold my hand?
Q. I don't know what to do??help?? well I have this boyfriend his amazing and he don't care if people see us and know about us and that were going out... but there's just one problem his always around other girls like his ex's and the mean girls that ...
A. 1 December 2015: When you are on your own with him turn to face him. Look at his right hand. Pick it up with both of yours and raise it to about the the height of your stomach. Then look into his eyes.
Depending on his reaction you will know what to do next.... (read in full...)
Fiancée's attitude makes me sick but how can I leave?
Q. A few weeks ago me and my fiancée of 2 years went to her parents house for her mom's birthday. It was there, her mother told the family she was sick. This is the wonderful woman who put my fiancée through school twice!, bought her a car when she ...
A. 1 December 2015: People sometimes distance themselves from sick friends and relatives because they can't take the emotional stress. They do not want to see their loved ones go down hill. Could it be something like that?... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my father being a heavy presence in my life and the guilt?
Q. My beloved mom passed away 5 years ago. i am married and live 10miles away from my father who is single and has been living in the same house he's been living his whole life. The hose is clean because he has a cleaning lady but in terrible ...
A. 30 November 2015: I think you have to realise that you are a grown-up now. This means you can decide tell your father the truth or a white lie about the house.
As he becomes older and more frail he will come to rely on help more. You don't have to behave like an o... (read in full...)
I'm angry that my partner returned the iPhone he found to its owner
Q. What would you do if you found a I phone? My partner found one by his car and it belonged to a woman because it had a case with flowers on to protect it and a photo of her and her fella. My partner said to see if she rang for her phone and if...
A. 30 November 2015: I think all the answers here have just given you a reality check. Don't be mean spirited. It doesn't pay in the end. It may be true that life makes each of us the way we are. I'm sorry if life has dealt you some bad hands.
There are a lot of good... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be this fearful of something bad happening to my baby son?
Q. I have just had the most beautiful baby boy who I am just besotted with. I am so blessed. But I am terrified of something awful happening him. Everytime I am enjoying him, I am consumed by this fear. I don't sleep, I stay awake just to make sure he ...
A. 30 November 2015: Well, like everyone always says babies don't arrive with a set of instructions. My experience is that they are quite robust. You clearly care a lot about your new arrival so I think it should all be fine.
When I visited Finland they wrap the babi... (read in full...)
My husband is not the most attractive man but I fear I'm not good enough for him
Q. Beem with my husband 23 years married 19. I have no confidence in myself and hate the way i look but try to make the most of myself. I have blonde hair that sits on my shoulders and im thinking of getting it cut shorter as i feel like a new ...
A. 30 November 2015: The question is not whether you are good enough for him. The question is whether you are good enough for you. If you aren't happy with your looks then change something. A new hair-do is a good start. If you have it cut you can always grow it out if ... (read in full...)
Men, can you be turned off a woman and lose attraction, based on one thing she said ?
Q. Hello! There's a man that i serve every day at work, I really like him, and he seems to like me too- we just smile and sort of gaze at each other, even when we're not saying anything, and he does seem shy and quite nervous but tries to initiat...
A. 29 November 2015: There's swearing and then there's swearing. For some people swearing is like punctuation. The F' word can crop up in a sentence like a comma or an exclamation mark.
The judicious use of Anglo Saxon can add a bit of colour to colloquial deli... (read in full...)
My friends are driving me crazy
Q. My friends are really beginning to annoy me but they're the only friends I have (I mean, people who hang out with me outside school that my parents aprove of). Lisa is the worst. I'll be going somewhere with her and she'll be driving because she ...
A. 29 November 2015: Considering you are 16-17 you are acting like a 12-year-old. At your age some young people have left home, are earning a living, and have a place of their own to live.
To quote my parents you don't appear to have the sense you were born with.
If yo... (read in full...)
Is there a chance the second time around?
Q. Can second chance relationships work? When I was 18 I met my ex boyfriend who I was instantly attracted too and within weeks we were together. It happened really fast and within 5 months we were engaged and he had moved into my parents house. People ...
A. 29 November 2015: You appear to be already getting back together so all I can suggest is that you think carefully about what broke you up before, and take care to avoid any similar happenings.
It must have been quite serious if you couldn't make up the next day,... (read in full...)
It's as if I'm helpless to stop these feelings of anger and hurt, a year on!
Q. A year ago I was cut off and wronged by a couple of people I thought were my friends. Two of us were both seeing the same guy - unknown to each other - but I obviously was being used by him and got in the way of the other girl and was cut off ...
A. 29 November 2015: Your anger is justified. Just don't let it eat you up. They aren't worth it. There is a saying: If you lend a friend £20 and never see them again it is probably worth it.
You have uncovered two false friends one of whom is a two timer. Count your... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend suddenly indifferent about his ex who's now engaged?
Q. TDLR my boyfriend is suddenly completely indifferent about his ex after hearing she got engaged. What could be the reason for this sudden change of heart??? Long version: My boyfriend found it extremely hard to let go of his ex. They didn't date...
A. 29 November 2015: It just sounds as if he has moved on. A large part of the process is forgiveness and, as you said, the 'screw you' mentality has faded out. This has been helped by her engagement. Some other poor guy now has to put up with her.
All in all I woul... (read in full...)
We split 8 years ago. I need to find some happiness. But how? I don't know how?
Q. Hi, it's a long story but will try to make it brief! I was with B the father of my 2 children 10 years.He was absolutely the love of my life and I was totally in love however I am certain it wasn't the same for him. B cheated on me througho...
A. 29 November 2015: You are intent on fulfilling your role a victim. The guy was unfaithful to you. He is a serial philanderer. But worse than that he didn't even care enough to be discreet. He treated you like you didn't matter. Now you are saying, thank you, yes ... (read in full...)
My work has partnered with wife a terrible driving woman. How should I handle this?
Q. Hi, A few months ago the company I work for provided a "share drive scheme" What They do is buddy you up with another person in the workplace (they base this on who lives the closest together) and they provide you with a company car - which you ...
A. 28 November 2015: If you you think your safety is at risk I would take the bus. I would also explain to HR who are trying to be over diplomatic that you are not in the habit of telling lies. There are many bad drivers who go forever without having a crash. That ... (read in full...)
Guy asked me out, but he has a female friend who worries me
Q. Met this guy recently and he seems to have a major thing for me and recently told me he liked me. His friends say I am his "type" physically and he is always giving me compliments etc. I told him Id think it over and to give me time. He is not my ...
A. 28 November 2015: It sounds as if you are only on the edge of having any sort of relationship with this man. I think it is too early to start vetting his friends. He could have a long standing friendship with this girl, and you are the new kid on the block. Just keep ... (read in full...)
I find his smell attractive
Q. There's someone that I really fancy, and I find their smell really attractive to the point that I can tell whether or not they're in a room just by their smell. Is this weird and does it mean anything?...
A. 28 November 2015: Apparently we are affected by others' pheromones,chemicals which animals produce from the skin. These can alter a range of behaviours. There is even a bottled version on the market which may or may not increase attractiveness.
You could be expe... (read in full...)
Mixed messages and conflicting signs
Q. Sorry this is a bit long. I have had a massive crush on a colleague for almost a year now (he is 30yrs, I am 27yrs). Our roles do not conflict or overlap, and neither one of us is in a position of authority over the other. Some of my closer friend...
A. 27 November 2015: He sounds like he is in training for a religious life and keeps slipping from his calling. He appears to like you a lot but keeps holding himself back.
I think your best option is to keep being in his eye-line and hope your attractiveness will over... (read in full...)
I don't like how I'm behaving with these guys
Q. I'm 18. I am introvert. I have insecurities about my social standards, my looks, my family. I keep recollecting my bitter childhood. I am in a long distant relationship for almost a year. We never dated 'til now. And we fight a lot. I really love ...
A. 27 November 2015: So if I understand you, you have a long-distance boyfriend and also various other guys who you feel attracted to. It might be best to gently let down your long-distance boyfriend so that you can concentrate on a person you like who is near to hand. ... (read in full...)
How do I find out what he feels about me?
Q. there is this guy whom i like. but i don't think he likes me in the same way. but sometimes he makes me feel that he likes me in the same way too.. so i am totally confused... what should i do???...
A. 27 November 2015: You ask a friend to ask his friend if he likes you - a go-between. If it is yes then you can arrange what comes next.... (read in full...)
How often is a partner in a relationship likely to come home drunk? His actions are causing me concern
Q. Hi all, for those cohabiting and/or married, how often does your partner come home drunk? My boyfriend comes home drunk once a month. We've been living together for half a year. He reaches home around 3,4am, reeks of alcohol and is terribly inco...
A. 27 November 2015: There are several aspects to this. Getting wrecked once a month doesn't sound like a problem yet. However binge drinking to the point of insensibility is harmful to himself, expensive, and pretty silly. Obviously you would like to know when this is ... (read in full...)
I'm turned on but can't orgasm - what can I do?
Q. I'll try to keep this short. Basically over a month ago me and my girlfriend decided to have sex whilst I was staying over on the weekend but unfortunately we had to stop because she was feeling sore down there after only a few minutes. Ever since ...
A. 27 November 2015: Being relaxed and comfortable during sex is quite important. If you are worried about hurting your partner that would clearly be a distraction. It would be a good idea to find out why your girlfriend is sore. It could just be something simple ... (read in full...)
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