A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so, i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years, i am now 17 and realise that our relationship is going nowhere. We have absolutely nothing in common and i don't enjoy talking to her any more. I feel that if I break up with her she will do something stupid as i know that she can be quite unstable. i realise that i am the most important thing to her, but for my own sake, i do not want to be with her as i am not happy.i need some kind of break up advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 January 2016):
 The best thing you can do is be honest with her. And gentle.
Don't drag it out, don't do the "let's be friends" - end it, and like Denizen said, listen to her.
Some relationships work, some don't, this one? it has run it's course.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 January 2016):
 Breaking up with someone unstable is never easy, because they may not accept your answer if they are self absorbed. I think this is past the point of wondering whether this could be salvaged. You've just had enough. Then all you need is the firm decision. You could still be nice so that she doesn't feel criticized and rejected. You can say you are not a good match because you don't know how to deal with her moods. You don't like talking and she needs someone more patient, understanding and who likes to talk about the same things she does.
Break ups are never out of the blue. Usually people have arguments, complaints that accumulated for some time. Those who would be shocked at your decision to break up are in denial. You have to help her realize that if two people are not right for each other, there is no point clinging to it. A more humane thing to do is to remain with her until she reaches her own conclusion that you are right. That's if you are in no hurry to be rid of her.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 January 2016):
 You where young when you got in to this relationship and well we change as we grow up. It is difficult to break up with someone but these are the challenges we have to face in life.
You just need to be honest with her. Tell her you want to be single and that the relationship is not working out for you. Listen to what she has to say, apologize and tell her you need to follow your own heart. For this to work you cannot be friends either until you both get over each other fully.
You say she is unstable and that is why you are worried, this shows that you are a good person and that you still care. But it is still not a reason for you to stay with her. If you are really worried then maybe you can talk to your parents or else her parents and tell them your concerns.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2016): At the age of 16 when I had my first boyfriend I know my emotions were all over the place, I was kind of hard work! I hate saying that but it's true. I'm as laid back as you could be now but then I know I could be a bit 'unstable'.My boyfriend probably felt like you but the best thing he did was being honest with me. Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth but they need to. Don't feel like you somehow are responsible for all her emotions, yes she may not take it well, but she will not do anything silly. Even if you think that its pretty unlikely that she will.Are you on good terms with her friends? Maybe you could try and talk to them and ask them to be there for her when you break up. If you are really worried that she actually will do something stupid tell her friends and family and they can help her.Don't get angry or upset if she does. Like Denizen says, listen to her. Try and think of it this way, it'll hurt her now but hearing the truth will help her in the future to become a better person and realise she needs to adjust the way she is in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (19 January 2016):
 You need to sit down with her and have an adult conversation. You say you aren't talking anymore, well this is one occasion you need to face up to what is happening. No more blinkers. Be gentle but be honest. And listen. This is most important. Listen to what she says. So many people talk but don't listen. You can decide if what you have is repairable or whether you can part as friends. Be kind to each other.
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