A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Is there a way to tell friends that they are not being good friends without screwing up the friendship?I have known this couple for a very long time, but in the last couple of years it feels like they have been giving me the cold shoulder:I invited them to dinner a few times and they didn't even reply!They have stopped calling or e-mailing me unless I initiate it.It is only me who tries to make plans to get together.Normally I would assume they just don't like me anymore :( however they still want to get together around Christmas each year.Thanks for your advice.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 If this has been going on a few years then this couple might be content to just see you once a year and correspond occasionally throughout.
I would stop initiating contact with them, but be courteous and upbeat when if and when they contact you.
Sometimes folks just grow beyond the friendship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2016): I agree strongly with HoneyPie.
I suck at keeping in touch. My husband too.
I am daily in contact ONLY with friends who are like my family. Not many of them. I can write/call them without a specific reason. Just because. When they come over everything's relaxed. No big dinner plans... just hanging out.
With everyone else, it has been a struggle. Sooner or later I just go AWOL. But if some of them asks for help I am ALWAYS there. Some people can accept that, most don't.
The punch line: both my husband and I suffer from a form of social anxiety. In this society of ours where being social and constant communicating with easy is a must, we're struggling.
Just this morning a friend texted me "Are you angry?" I wish I could tell her "NO just having some social anxiety ;)" But instead I bitched about my jobs.
If you like them, keep reaching :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2016):
 Some people SUCK at staying in touch, even with people they really care about.
Stress, depression or the feeling that NOTHING exciting is happening worth writing about can make a person just stop writing to a friend. They instead isolate themselves and become even more miserable, yet they know to reach out around the Holidays where they CERTAINLY don't want to be alone.
If you care for them don't stop reaching out, but breech the subject. Saying:" I feel like I'm always the one to contact you and it make me think you might not really WANT to talk to me". Maybe they NEED a little wake up call.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 Supposing they don't like you? What will you do? I suggest you assume that is the case and wait to see what happens. There could be a dozen other reasons, but like all the other aunts I would just be guessing. Presumably you have already asked the obvious question straight out? If they are going through some personal trouble perhaps you could help.
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