She took the presents and ran
Q. Hello was dating this woman for a short time. I just gave her Christmas presents, then next day she broke up with me. Should I ask for them back?...
A. 19 December 2015: Why don't you arrange for a ton of horse manure to be delivered to her door as a follow-up New Year's gift? (only joking). ... (read in full...)
Our wedding is due soon. But I am having trust issues with my LDR fiance. what can I do?
Q. I am am Indian male and I am on a ldr with an Indian gal leading to marriage. But I am having trust issues. She started to lie to my family about where she goes, what she does. I think she might be lying to me as well. I found her with many white li...
A. 19 December 2015: Postpone the wedding until things become clearer. I agree with you that it all smells fishy. I wouldn't be happy going along with this marriage if I were you. Are you both living in the same country? I notice you have posted a US flag. Is she in ... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed by gift house and don't know what to do
Q. Please can i get some advice! What I'm about to write may seem like I'm being ungrateful but I'm not. My fiancé and I have been together 6 years and were currently looking to buy our 1st house together. We both have decent enough jobs...
A. 19 December 2015: There are good financial reasons for the gift. It keeps the money in the family and, as a gift, his parents won't have to pay tax on it. So rather than inherit the money when they die and be taxed on it you get the house of your dreams now and they ... (read in full...)
Does it seem odd that so many of my BF's exes cheated on him?
Q. My boyfriend had one wife and three girlfriends, all of whom cheated on him. He is hard to reach emotionally sometimes and I think he is guarded due to these past experiences. I have told him I am not them. I was thinking. Does it seem odd ...
A. 18 December 2015: You ask has he:"Some sort of character flaw or did something to cause the cheating?" and, "Wondering if he was distant towards them or not carrying his weight in the relationships?
How can we ever know? You know him better than us.
And at any rate... (read in full...)
I need to walk away but I'm finding that terribly difficult. What can I do?
Q. Hi there, My problem is that at the moment I'm finding it hard to cope. I have been seeing this guy but I just don't think it's going to work out. I was so scared of letting someone into my heart, but he was there for me all the time, being supp...
A. 18 December 2015: You have to start with small steps; easy steps. Start looking for your own place to live; something affordable. Check estate agents and the classifieds.
What is more you need to understand that bad things happen to you continually because you allo... (read in full...)
The distance is making me paranoid
Q. So I have been dating this guy for a short time - October 2015. He is wonderful, and we are completely taken with each other, the only trouble is, I live in the UK and he in the US and the distance is really hard. Not only is the distance ...
A. 17 December 2015: Sorry but I don't see a future in this unless one of you moves nearer the other. How can it possibly work? If you were an established couple you could be apart for a time - maybe several years. That's because of the basis laid down. And the ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf becoming too needy?
Q. I've been in an off again on again relationship for over half a year now. Honestly, I am getting tired of this. If I refuse to spend time with him and instead spend time with my friends, he gets very angry. He'll give me dirty looks and tell m...
A. 17 December 2015: I think you are both looking for a different kind of relationship at the moment. You need to have a quiet talk about this - what your needs are compared to his. Perhaps you can reach a happy compromise in which you spend some time exclusively with ... (read in full...)
Fed up of being the one to make the situation better. Any advice?
Q. Hi, im 17 year old girl who has split from my boyfriend 8 months now, we ended it on good terms as we thought it was best. This has not been the case, at first he was pleasant and understanding; and then he started to act cocky and made comments...
A. 17 December 2015: If you are on good terms with his mum why not talk to her about it? You could ask her advice and explain what has been happening. It depends on how bad the things are that he is revealing to friends. If you can live with it just ignore it. If it's ... (read in full...)
We've been on 5 or 6 dates but he still won't add me to Facebook
Q. I've been on about 5-6 dates with this guy who I met on online dating. At the moment it seems to be going really well. He makes the most to see me in his spare time, even if he has other plans, he'll try and fit in seeing me.. He's taken me on lo...
A. 17 December 2015: Why is it important to you? You are an adult now. You should know what is important and what is not. Maybe he hasn't added you in FB because you haven't shown up in 'Second Life'. I mean, his avatar is there waiting to set up a virtual home in a ... (read in full...)
I know he wants children and I don't, so what's the best way to go about ending the marriage?
Q. I've been married for 2 years and have been with my husband 8 years before we got married. I never wanted children - he did. I was honest from the start about children- he was upset- understandably but accepted that we wouldn't have any and th...
A. 16 December 2015: There are sadnesses in life and not having children may be one of them to some people. However stacking that against the years you have had together must seem worth it to him.
To split up after all this time will take years of recovery for you both... (read in full...)
Staring at other women, odd porn sites on his phone.... am I wasting my time with him?
Q. Hi just wanting some advise really. My boyfriend who I've been seeing for 18 months had a porn site on his phone history a while back. I didn't go snooping he had handed me the phone himself. I guess he had forgotten it was in his history anyway h...
A. 15 December 2015: Could you tease a question out of this please? Is it that you want to know how to make him stop looking at porn? Is it that you want to know if you can trust him?
You are clearly uncomfortable with him having a porn site on his phone and with the ... (read in full...)
Will this be a repeat of last time? Am I the easy option after his last split?
Q. Hello, I'm hoping you can help. I split with my ex in 2008 after 6 years together. We didn't live together or anything and had no kids between us...just children then from previous relationships. We got together quite soon after my marri...
A. 15 December 2015: This sounds like you need to decide what you want. There are question marks over going back with him; living together or not; whether he really wants to be with you, or are you just a known quantity and all right for now.
There is no harm in just... (read in full...)
My in-laws pop in every day and I'm finding it irritating! Opinions?
Q. I have to get some other opinions on this.. Ok, so the bigger part of me says I'm being petty, selfish and ungrateful even getting annoyed about this.. but, still, I find it really irritating! So since my partner and I bought a house, ...
A. 15 December 2015: This could be a job for your husband. It will be much better that he tells them to give you a bit of space as they are his parents. How he does this depends on his relationship with them.
Personally I would always be doing something else, like havi... (read in full...)
Is the first year of marriage this tough? I feel like I am failing.
Q. I'm 7 mths into my marriage and feel like I'm failing. My expectations for the kind of marriage i want is gone and i need your help seasoned couples. Something is wrong and i need to fix it. First i need to know if im tripping about what i consi...
A. 14 December 2015: There are several aspects to this all rolled up in one - your husband. Let's take it from the top. Yelling at your baby girl is totally out of order. That has to stop. So does the all the phone flirting. He has YOU now, and shouldn't need any ... (read in full...)
What can I do or say the next time I start seeing someone without upsetting her?
Q. Hi I'd like some advice. I have a friend that doesn't seem to want me to be with anybody, she is 20 and I'll be 20 in a month. We've been friends from being 14years old. She has always been like this and I have never known why. She's always bee...
A. 14 December 2015: Which is more important, your jealous jealous friend or your boyfriend? I think you need to assess your priorities and act accordingly - unless you are going to live in each other's pockets for the rest of your life.... (read in full...)
What would be the reason I cannot orgasm with my girlfriend, when previously I could orgasm with my ex?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend (I'm a lesbian) and I haven't had an orgasm while I've been with her but I had them with my ex. I miss having orgasms what should I do? ...
A. 14 December 2015: Perhaps you can show her what you need? Different strokes for different folks :-)... (read in full...)
He is secretive about his phone and he becomes defensive when I ask. But could he be flirting online?
Q. Pls help! I've been with my fiancé for 3 and a half years. We have a 2 year old daughter together I found his profile on a dating site and it said last active 5 months ago and one of his pictures I took of him myself ! I confronted hi...
A. 14 December 2015:
To be honest I see no reason why he should still be on dating websites after all this time, and I would ask why he hasn't called time on this. He can mark them as spam and they should disappear from his inbox. I think it is entirely reasonable for ... (read in full...)
Is it best to end my relationship now? Or does he just need time?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He's my best friend and we had plans to buy a house together in 2016. He's been very hot and cold on the subject and I find myself worrying about our relationship more and more. He's promised me ...
A. 14 December 2015: Sometimes you have to take the initiative to move things forward. It does sound as if he has been going through a bit of a crisis with his life and work. Perhaps a house and a family is a bit much for him to take on.
However it doesn't stop you goin... (read in full...)
I'm an introverted person who has trouble making and keeping friends
Q. Dear Cupid I'm an introvert shy person, I haven't friends and even I tried to make some, something in me repels people I believe, no one stays with me as friends. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I sometimes go out of my way and help, which make...
A. 13 December 2015: Perhaps you don't understand what being an introvert is. It doesn't mean you don't like people or even that you are no good with them. It means their company drains you. Introverts have to put out a lot of energy to be with others particularly in ... (read in full...)
When do my needs start to count?
Q. I need help and I need help quick. My boyfriend is divorcing his ex'. The court hearing is in January. They get along. She has someone in her life. Me and her do not get along. Me and my boyfriend fought all this week because my daughter took a ...
A. 13 December 2015: You and she are starting to sound like two dogs fighting over a bone. He will decide on his priorities. If you don't like his choices then you have decisions to make.... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy in my life?
Q. Hi, i just wanted to know if there was anyone who could help me, to tell me how it is best to get a guy that hasn't been in my life properly to be finally in it. i haven't seem him in a while and i obviously still like him at times it reall...
A. 13 December 2015: You need to create opportunities for you to be together. You might have to enlist the help of friends to achieve this. Nothing is going to happen any time soon by just wishing, so you had better get your thinking cap on. He has to at least have the ... (read in full...)
I miss my former colleagues
Q. Hi, I really need some advice on how best to handle this situation. Having been made redundant recently, I left some good friends behind and I feel I am grieving to the point it has affected me - I dream about being back in the same office with...
A. 12 December 2015: Why are you never going to see them again? Lots of friends from work and ex-colleagues, meet up for a meal and a good chin-wag after work. Pick a place that is convenient for everyone and which won't break the bank. Don't be defeatist. Start ... (read in full...)
I'm holding out for Mr. Perfect but my friends are beginning to pressure me
Q. Hi. I am single, educated girl. I didn't have any bf not in my highschool,not in college not now either. I am a virgin. I always read and fascinate about true love and all those poetic imagination. But I didn't like any guy I met till this date. I ...
A. 12 December 2015: Of course you are getting a little push in the back from friends, particularly if they have steady boyfriends. Most young people have numerous dates with different people before they decide to settle with one alone. It's a learning process and one ... (read in full...)
His drinking has become a major issue. Help!
Q. Dear cupid When my fiance goes out on nights out alone with his friends he gets stupidly drunk to the point he can't stand. He sways. He makes a total mess of himself or gets argumentative or very unpredictable. He even ended up going missing fo...
A. 12 December 2015: People's tolerance of alcohol and drugs varies. Your man can't process his booze at all well. His mates might be partying all night but his liver and kidneys can't keep up. It's no-one's fault. Although holding your drink used to be a sign of ... (read in full...)
Why can't he tell me what's wrong?
Q. Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years at first everything was good n we got on really well we still don't argue now, but he's changed. He always seems very quiet and bad tempered lately which he never used to be. The affection and everything ...
A. 12 December 2015: I think you need to sit him down and say, 'Look things aren't fine no matter what you say. We are supposed to be partners and share things. Now what is going on?'
Try something like that and don't take no for an answer. It could be so many thin... (read in full...)
What does it mean, that he lied about where he'd been and then had trouble with keeping it up?
Q. My husband usually doesn't have a problem keeping it up or cunning. He always watches open and today lies about where he went and tonight he couldn't keep it up nor could he cum. What does this mean and what should I do? ...
A. 11 December 2015: Tell us more about yourself; more about your husband; more about the problem. Are you suddenly suspicious of him because saying?
If you want a considered answer you need to help us out more.... (read in full...)
I'm scared to tell my boyfriend that we are HIV coz he been suspecting my ex has it...
Q. boyfriend and I met after a long time chasing me...we had our 1st sex unprotected;we were drunk but I still remember I had told him I want a condom that night...months later when I became pregnant he kept asking me and telling me about my exes that ...
A. 11 December 2015: You have to tell everyone you have had sex with who might have become infected. It is bad enough infecting one person, but allowing the possibility that they could infect someone else is brainless. Everyone who could be infected through you needs to ... (read in full...)
Our relationship doesn't seem to be progressing much, should I be worried?
Q. My partner of nearly five months is very generous and caring but the niggle i have is that he wont accept me as a friend on facebook and will not stay the night at my house. His ex is a friend on fb and i wonder if he doesnt want her to know he has ...
A. 11 December 2015: I accept that FB plays a big part in many people's lives but it really shouldn't be used as a yardstick for how well your relationship is going. Who can guess why he doesn't want to friend you?
It feels like he is moving carefully into your new rela... (read in full...)
How to talk to guys? How can I put my fears aside? I worry about being rejected
Q. How do I get more confident around new guys? I'm 16 and I'm kind of shy around people when I first meet them, especially guys. Obviously once I get to know the guys I don't care about trying to impress them or doing weird stuff, its just at first...
A. 10 December 2015: If you imagine them wearing something ridiculous then it helps dispel any fears you might have.I think JK Rowling used the idea for dealing with Bogarts in one of the Harry Potter films.... (read in full...)
I found an unused condom in my dad's car. Is he cheating on my mom?
Q. It breaks my heart to know i found an unused condom in the back of my dad car....is he cheating on my mom...God that is gross....
A. 10 December 2015: Sorry I reread your question and you said 'unused'. It could have just fallen from his wallet. Just because people are married doesn't mean they abandon protection.... (read in full...)
I found an unused condom in my dad's car. Is he cheating on my mom?
Q. It breaks my heart to know i found an unused condom in the back of my dad car....is he cheating on my mom...God that is gross....
A. 10 December 2015: Could there be another reason it got there? Could it have stuck to someone's shoe? Could he have had sex with your mum in the car reliving their youth? Could someone else have dropped it there?
You probably need a bit more evidence before you cond... (read in full...)
My husband and escourts..he claims he just looks at them, nothing else
Q. I found out recently that my husband of 9 yrs (we have young kids) has been seeing escorts and of course he is denying sleeping with them. 11 months ago, he says he started "looking into" escorts because his close friend was coming into town and ...
A. 10 December 2015: I'm wondering if he is the type who gets off watching other people ie. in this case his friend. In any case it is a situation which needs opening to the light of day before you can make any decisions about what to do next.
I think you need an ally... (read in full...)
I love my husband but will he actually change and put his family as a priority?
Q. hello, not sure how to start but im desperate for some advice...... im in my 20's married to an squaddie (army) we been married two years and in those two years have moved around 3 times with the army. I have a 6year old from a previous ...
A. 10 December 2015: I am told that it was Confucius who said: "The way out is through the door. Why is it that no one will use this method?”
It is very said that your husband, who you love, couldn't see what he was about to lose when you broke up with him. He's had ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't have alot of time for me. She says take it or leave it
Q. Haven't heard from my girlfriend in three days, don't know why, we get along real good I thought, she is a busy person with work ,an working out, paladies,her dogs, about five months in the relationship, I treat her like a princess, every one says ...
A. 10 December 2015: If she says take it or leave it you only have one choice. She clearly doesn't care enough to keep you. Stop the presents. Stop the royal treatment. Find someone who really wants to spend time with you. You are acting like a mug, and she is laughing ... (read in full...)
Is he that afraid of his ex or just a no good POS that is showing his true colors?
Q. Ok this is really immature of me but I usually tend to mimick whoever I'm with one of those you do this I'll do the same kind of things. Now it's about dreaded Facebook. So I've been with my guy for a little over a year and we both had accounts (I ...
A. 10 December 2015: It doesn't seem fair does it. Of course the obvious solution is that he closes his FB account too. I don't think the world would come to an end if he did that. I sincerely believe life can exist without social media.
It is hard to gauge his moti... (read in full...)
Is he that afraid of his ex or just a no good POS that is showing his true colors?
Q. Ok this is really immature of me but I usually tend to mimick whoever I'm with one of those you do this I'll do the same kind of things. Now it's about dreaded Facebook. So I've been with my guy for a little over a year and we both had accounts (I ...
A. 10 December 2015: It doesn't seem fair does it. Of course the obvious solution is that he closes his FB account too. I don't think the world would come to an end if he did that. I sincerely believe life can exist without social media.
It is hard to gauge his moti... (read in full...)
Will my Bf be disappointed when he discovers that I am only a B cup?
Q. Hi all! I'm a 18 year old female Virgin. I have recently got a boyfriend (3months now) which is wonderful. I'm really self conscious about my b cup breasts as I feel they look too small so I wear a padded push up bra. I wear them whenever I'm in p...
A. 9 December 2015: There are plenty of men who don't like 'stacked' women as partners. And if you haven't noticed small is always fashionable starting with Twiggy and on up to the present. So I think your fears are unfounded.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a fetish for bald guys. Should I shave my head for her?
Q. I used to notice that my girl liked to check out older guys when they walked past her, before I realized it was actually guys with clean shaven heads that she has this weird thing for. She said she found bald guys really hot. Well I found it weeeird ...
A. 9 December 2015: It might be a laugh to try a new style. Bald works for film star Jason Statham. I would have a go. You can always grow it back which many men cannot.... (read in full...)
What can I do? Should I meet a man who can only tolerate my much loved resucue dog?
Q. I was really looking forward to meeting a man I have have been talking online to. This morning he dropped the bombshell he would only ever"tolerate" a dog and his argument is he thinks its cruel to keep them as pets anyway. I am quite hurt as my do...
A. 9 December 2015: What does your heart tell you? You aren't going to dump your best doggy friend for someone you only know online are you?
In all new relationships there has to be a lot of give and take. It sounds like he is drawing some hard and fast rules to star... (read in full...)
I'm stuck between holding on and giving up on this relationship!
Q. my bf and i been dating fo six months now...we have known each other since last year feb but never dated...so when i finaly gave him a chance,we were like the it couple,i fell totaly inlove with him and didnt take me long to stop seeing or flirting ...
A. 8 December 2015: You need to keep in close contact with his parents - after all they are going to be grandparents - and they are the ones who are going to help you through this, hopefully.
He is acting like a complete 'tossr'. I hope his parents can bring him roun... (read in full...)
What's the best way to help a tired girlfriend in a long distance relationship?
Q. Hiya, In a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, at first swe was always texting so many times a day even though she has two jobs and we always managed to see each other every couple weeks. But past couple weeks she has been distant, ...
A. 8 December 2015: Dear Alex1982, when I said:"Do something unexpected and loving. Use your imagination. Be creative. Show you are prepared to go that bit extra", I was thinking of something more than a cuddly toy or flowers.
Like Clareamy said, take a day off work... (read in full...)
What's the best way to help a tired girlfriend in a long distance relationship?
Q. Hiya, In a long distance relationship with my girlfriend, at first swe was always texting so many times a day even though she has two jobs and we always managed to see each other every couple weeks. But past couple weeks she has been distant, ...
A. 6 December 2015: Do something unexpected and loving. Use your imagination. Be creative. Show you are prepared to go that bit extra. Txts really don't cut it after a time do they?... (read in full...)
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