I like him and don't know what to do
Q. So for this I'm going to use the letters K and W. Alright so I've liked this guy, W, since freshman year (of high school) he's a grade above me but he's also one of my really good friends. Well W also had a huge crush on my best friend. So while I ...
A. 23 May 2016: You need to play the long game. Eventually he'll come around to you. Just always be there. If you want to, set a time limit. You might say a year. If he hasn't twigged you are his main admirer by that time you will probably have got tired of him ... (read in full...)
I live with my boyfriend but so much want to be with another guy.
Q. I have been in a relationship for 3 years, i live with my partner, but i am not happy have not been happy with him for a while. I have met this really nice guy who i have known for a while and i want to be with this new guy so much, but i dont know ...
A. 23 May 2016: Are you expecting your current partner of three years to move out so you can live with the new guy? I hope that isn't the plan you have in mind.
First of all I think people need time between breaking up with someone and starting anew. It's bad news... (read in full...)
My husband's like a child
Q. Hi, hoping for advice on how to get my husband to become more mature? Handle more adult tasks? I feel like I'm his mother more than anything and I hate having to remind him or "nag" him. I was living in my own place when we got married and he m...
A. 22 May 2016: I wouldn't condemn him for one error - but I guess there is more to the tale. You have two options - at least two. You can assume financial control; get him to pay his salary into your account, and give him pocket money. Or you can divide your ... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to handle grief? Maybe it was not my fault the baby bird died. But I feel guilt about it
Q. Hello, I am absolutely devastated. My boyfriend and I went to the mall and saw a group of people huddled together near the entrance of a shop. I overheard one of the people there going "Management knows about it." When we left the mall about a...
A. 21 May 2016: Your emotional state seems precarious. Every life has value but you can't be upset every time nature ends one. I think you need to take comfort in the fact that you did all you could. That shows the compassion in you for the suffering of another ... (read in full...)
How can I re-establish a bond with this guy I'm crushing for? He seems indifferent to me now.
Q. i am a girl who has a lot of guy friends. i flirt with them a lot. Among my guy friends, there's one that i have crush on since a few months ago. we used to talk a lot and he would act so nice to me, he made me smile a lot too. unfortunately, i...
A. 19 May 2016: You have given him an image of yourself a flirt and a tease. Who could trust you? Who could take you seriously? I know that when you are young everything doesn't have to be serious. You are allowed to muck about and have some fun but he has taken ... (read in full...)
Is our new relationship doomed?
Q. dear cupid Now I think it is time to brake up with my boyfriend but I don't known if I should. On one hand I really love him and it is going to brake my heart breaking up with him but on the anther hand I don't think our relationship is going to...
A. 18 May 2016: You tell us you haven't kissed or been on a date. It sounds like you are close friends and not lovers. I think your friendship can survive if you want it to. Why don't you talk it over with him and see how he feels? It seems a bit cruel to take this ... (read in full...)
I am happy she's happier but what's going on?
Q. I am 6 months in and my girlfriend always has had trouble sleeping, She goes to bed late and has been getting a little better going to bed at 11:00 or 12:00. All of a sudden she started going to bed at 10:00 or 10:30 and she says she's getting nine ...
A. 18 May 2016: Could you supply more information about the two of you please? It is difficult to make any reasonable judgement without knowing more about your relationship, your home situation, whether you are in full-time education etc. ... (read in full...)
Is my Bf trying too hard? And is my reaction to my Bf's courtesy unreasonable?
Q. I think there is something wrong with me. my boyfriends ways get on my nerves. the way he has to go out of his way to hold the door open for very one. they don't even have to be close by, they dont even thank him. still he will stand there and ...
A. 16 May 2016: It is commendable to be courteous, kind and helpful. However if you are starting to feel neglected because of it then leave him doing his knight errant job and go off and do your own thing. I think that when he turns around and sees you are missing ... (read in full...)
My neighbour feels evil, to me. Is it possible that she is or has done something to discourage the sale of our home?
Q. A few years ago, a woman living across the house from us became infatuated with my husband and some very strange things started happening in our lives. She even put something in my drink to make me very sick. We always felt like this woman's aura...
A. 15 May 2016: What was it that Stevie Wonder sang: "When you believe in things that you don't understand then you suffer. Superstition ain't the way."
If you believe you have been hexed then you had better get someone to remove it. Always remember though that... (read in full...)
I know my jealousy is irrational!
Q. Is it normal to feel jelous that my partner has kids with his ex but not with me? I understand that it is not rational to think this way but I can't help it. I think it is because it is the most personal thing that there is between two people, and I ...
A. 15 May 2016: The feelings you have are real. You have accepted that you have them. This is all positive.
You can show love to his children. like your own. While you didn't physically bear them, and also you can never take the place of their mother, you can give... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out to lunch?
Q. I am interested in my coworker. Should I ask her out to dinner? Signs (I think) she likes me: 1) The way she looks at me. I could just be entranced by her eyes/smile. 2) She eats her lunch when I do. I asked her to lunch today and she said ...
A. 14 May 2016: Remember faint heart never won fair lady.... (read in full...)
Should I ask my co-worker out to lunch?
Q. I am interested in my coworker. Should I ask her out to dinner? Signs (I think) she likes me: 1) The way she looks at me. I could just be entranced by her eyes/smile. 2) She eats her lunch when I do. I asked her to lunch today and she said ...
A. 13 May 2016: I think you are pushing at an open door. It all sounds positive to me from what you say. What can be the harm in asking? The worst that can happen is that she declines. Nevertheless as Ovid said whether she accepts or declines a lady always like to ... (read in full...)
I'm married and had sex with a married man and now he wants nothing to do with me!
Q. Hi i am a married and have 10 childrens with my husband...I had sex with a a married man and then fell in love with him, after that only one day of sex in the park he now ignores me...and acts like i dnt exist im angry and feel like he used me...
A. 13 May 2016: You are irresponsible. First of all, 10 children? Ten? Are you your own personal baby farm for NZ?
Then you look for more sex outside your marriage. Was that unprotected too? And to cap it all you interfere with someone else's marriage.
He wants to... (read in full...)
How can I cope with this? His intelligence is eroding my self confidence
Q. I've been married to a man for 10 years. And who is extremely intelligent. I consider him to be a genius because he has an incredible ability to learn and retain new information and skills which far surpasses any other human I've met. This could be...
A. 12 May 2016: You need to understand that there are different types of intelligence - at least four I think. Our educational system prizes academic achievement yet downgrades artistry. See for example Sir Ken Robinson's TED lecture online on how the education ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend tell me he was with his mom all day when he actually went out without her?
Q. Hello. I need your help in figuring out my boyfriend's actions today. Here is what happened. I texted him this morning at around 11. I said "good morning" to him like usual. But there was no reply. Usually he replies pretty quickly. I th...
A. 11 May 2016: Your boyfriend isn't your property. He can do what he likes, and be where he wants when he wants. You may feel that he has an obligation to tell you exactly what he is doing, but there may be good reasons why he has chosen not to. I can imagine ... (read in full...)
How do I tell the FWB it can’t happen anymore?
Q. I have a friend ill call him ( a ) and we are friends with benefits but now ive met someone else call him ( b ) and we plan on having a relationship once hes back from his family holiday (no wife no kids hes single) How do i tell (a) friend with ...
A. 9 May 2016: Honesty is the best policy - now and for the future.... (read in full...)
I found out by accident that my biological parents are not the parents who brought me up. I feel hurt and so confused. What should I do?
Q. I found out something awful and I'm hurt and disappointed and don't know what to do. My mom's brother and my dad's sister used to date in high school. I never met my uncle because he's been in prison since I was 9 and we live states away from our...
A. 9 May 2016: You deserve a full explanation from your step-mum but don't agonise about this too much. You have been given a loving upbringing, which is much more than many children have with their biological parents.
You have loved and been loved. That hasn... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend to back off?
Q. Any tips or advice would be helpful right now. I have a friend who is 44, we met through work years ago and when she left we still remained friendly. We'd go out for lunch or for coffee etc... As soon as she found out I got engaged she star...
A. 9 May 2016: Yes Honeypie is right. You need to make your point. I have seen some women go bananas at the prospect of a wedding. As a man I don't get it, but I'm pleased so many women get enjoyment from them. However as H' indicated, this is your wedding and you ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend overstepped the mark?
Q. Hello, I'd like to seek your opinions on the following scenario: My boyfriend and I were attending a wedding banquet and seated at a table with people we recently met. I'd like to highlight two girls in that table: Susan and her older sister A...
A. 9 May 2016: What had you done to deserve that? It seems like he went out of his way to be rude and disrespectful to you. Come to think about it, what a rude thing to say to Susan.
If I were you I would cut all communication without more explanation. Let him ... (read in full...)
I need more confidence when it comes to guys!
Q. How can I be more confident in myself when it comes to guys? I don't think I'm ugly or massively attractive, but I still think I'm okay.I have this problem when I see a guy I actually like or one I see in the street whose attractive and I can't look ...
A. 7 May 2016: It is normal at your age to lack confidence around other people. You are still growing into your skin. Take small steps. Start by speaking to the person. It can just be a hello. You can't be rejected for a hello can you. Get a conversation going. ... (read in full...)
Why won’t he help me around the house?
Q. Hi everyone I am just trying to make sense of things. My boyfriend (together for 4 years) lost his job and came to live with me while looking for another. I paid all the bills including his child's (not my child) school for 6 months. He got another ...
A. 6 May 2016: This is a personal matter for you to thrash out with him. You say he claims to do other things around the home. He has refused to clean on this occasion. He cooks you tell us. But you are upset he won't clean.
Is the problem that he can't pay his ... (read in full...)
What activities that can bring me to meet new people?
Q. Hi everyone.. im 25 single woman and i dont have social life. I used to have good circle of friends and have good social life back in college but im so in love and hangging out only with my ex boyfriend and now we broke up and i lose everything. ...
A. 6 May 2016: Don't think about what activities will help you to meet people - think about what you would like to do. Could it be an art class? Might it be an evening class towards a qualification, or just for something for fun? You will, incidentally, meet ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with these financial expectations, that my parents regard as normal, in my culture?
Q. Hi all, I'm in a bit of a quandary now. From where I come from (Asia), my parents have some form of expectations that when I get a job in future, I'll provide for them, or give then "allowances". They weren't joking about it when they mentioned it...
A. 6 May 2016: In western culture, as I'm sure you are aware, you don't owe your parents anything. Of course if they are struggling to manage financially then many working couples might choose to step in and make arrangements for them.
One question for you is wher... (read in full...)
Should I add her on Snapchat?
Q. I would like to add this girl on snapchat but she doesn't know me. I went to middle school and high school with her (She's a college freshman and I'm a highschool senior). We didn't talk at all, and I'm pretty sure she didn't even know I exis...
A. 6 May 2016: No, you are right. It does sound a bit borderline creepy. You have to look seriously at what you want, and can reasonably expect, to achieve.
Different city, different school, different set of friends... You need a more straightforward approach and ... (read in full...)
Should I add her on Snapchat?
Q. I would like to add this girl on snapchat but she doesn't know me. I went to middle school and high school with her (She's a college freshman and I'm a highschool senior). We didn't talk at all, and I'm pretty sure she didn't even know I exis...
A. 5 May 2016: Come out of your virtual world. The weather is fine. Who really cares about Snapchat? Anyway what is the point of adding this girl? What will it achieve? If you want to ask her out do something a bit more real.... (read in full...)
Am I kidding myself that me and my ex can stay friends?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I have remained friends after an intense short relationship. For me it was more about his friendship and companionship and for him it was more difficult as hes recently divorced. Also the physical side was strained as he has some ...
A. 4 May 2016: It sounds as if you are good friends now and that is OK. Be prepared to step back when he finds his significant other. You may be introduced to her as a friend in the future but early on she might suspect your motives and be jealous.... (read in full...)
How does a teen get over a celebrity crush?
Q. I have a celebrity crush. I understand that at my age, this is completely normal, but I think that I have crossed the line. I won't explain how (I'll leave that to your imagination) but I know that I've gone too far. I've tried to find obtainable ...
A. 4 May 2016: I wouldn't worry too much about it. It sounds quite normal for someone your age. I can't imagine what you may have done that can weigh so heavily on you. As you learn more about the celeb' you begin to see their imperfections. They are just like the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have respect for my religious beliefs!
Q. Hi Dear Cupid! I have been dating this wonderful guy for about 8 months now and I am worried about one thing . . . . he doesn't respect my religious beliefs. He says he's not an atheist, but he also says he doesn't really believe in anythi...
A. 4 May 2016: It seems to me you should listen to what God is telling you. Don’t listen to us. Don’t listen to your ministers. Make a deal with your beloved that he won’t mock your beliefs and you won’t involve him in yours. If he continues then it’s an end.
... (read in full...)
I distrust males. Is this likely to be a permanent problem?
Q. I have and had a crazy family life, most of the problems that my mom and I have encountered were caused by men. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate males or think they are lesser people in any way, but ever since a particular event occurred, I haven'...
A. 4 May 2016: When in a relationship you still have to be open. If you have been bruised then you do it gradually, step by step as your trust grows.
Your instinct should serve you well. You ought to be able to recognise a genuinely nice boy from someone just tryi... (read in full...)
Hookups where the women only get oral?
Q. Hookups where the women only get oral? I've seen some women mention that they do this online and that it's a mini-trend now, but I wanted to see some stories. What did the guys do or how did they react when you made it clear you only wanted them to ...
A. 3 May 2016: Sorry but what was the question again?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have respect for my religious beliefs!
Q. Hi Dear Cupid! I have been dating this wonderful guy for about 8 months now and I am worried about one thing . . . . he doesn't respect my religious beliefs. He says he's not an atheist, but he also says he doesn't really believe in anythi...
A. 3 May 2016: I would remind two previous posters of your final sentence: "We are completely in love with each other and this seems to be the only thing we disagree about."
Just remember - love conquers all. Whether you go to church or not; whether you are of t... (read in full...)
How can I move on? He had multiple social media accounts and took drugs and smoked!
Q. Help me, I can't stop thinking of my ex and its making me really sad. I ended the relationship 2 weeks ago today (Sunday) because my mum wanted me to. He said he wanted to speak and then he started blanking me and I'm really confused. Today I was ...
A. 2 May 2016: Turn you focus elsewhere. Get into doing things for yourself. It is painful now but it really will get better and you will smile when you think back. It happens to us all but we all survive, and we eventually find someone better. He is blanking you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't have respect for my religious beliefs!
Q. Hi Dear Cupid! I have been dating this wonderful guy for about 8 months now and I am worried about one thing . . . . he doesn't respect my religious beliefs. He says he's not an atheist, but he also says he doesn't really believe in anythi...
A. 2 May 2016: You have to agree to disagree. Put a ban on all religious discussion in the home. You have a value system that is supported by your beliefs. You just have to remember that beliefs aren't real. So, while they are important to you in maintaining your ... (read in full...)
I feel so ugly that I cry myself to sleep!
Q. I need advice , I'm 21 and im getting married in 5 weeks and I feel so incredibly ugly. I have very low confidence to a stage where i can't get out of a car unless there is no one there and I cant seem to get rid of this feeling. I have never felt ...
A. 2 May 2016: First you need to visit your GP. You are depressed and you need help to get over it. He can also get you a nutritionally balanced diet to help you shed a couple of unwanted stone. People do it all the time so why not you.
The second thing you can ... (read in full...)
Love my Gf but my ex occupies my thoughts, a lot. What should I do?
Q. Hey guys, I'm going to try keep this brief for you. A year ago I was made heart broken when my girlfriend split up with me. It was very out of the blue and was a total shock. Throughout last year I suffered from a severe breakdown because of it, a...
A. 2 May 2016: The problem is you started a new relationship before you had got over the last one. You need to be able to function as an individual without a girlfriend as a prop.
The past is over and you need to make it so, and move on. Cut down on contact with... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong? Women seem scared of me. Haven't been able to set up a date in three years.
Q. I have problems with women and I'm taking time away from dating (or trying to date) until I've found myself, developed confidence, and have a proper view of women in general. I've struggled pretty badly for the past 7 years or so. My previous...
A. 25 April 2016: It could be that you are just aiming for the wrong type of girl. I am assuming that you have done your best to be presentable...? You dress well, take care of your personal hygiene, have some conversation, pursue a few interests that you can tell ... (read in full...)
How can I get over him and move on? My ex boyfriend is blanking me and I can't move on
Q. Hi, me and my ex broke up last Sunday. I ended the relationship. He was texting me and said "can't we still talk?" So I said "if you want to" he said "yes I do" so i said me too. I ended the relationship because my mum made me because he was ma...
A. 25 April 2016: Sometimes people enter your life and then leave. It's just the way life goes. Later other people join you and you wonder why you felt so bad in the past.
I know that doesn't help you now. You feel miserable. Concentrate on your school work for a wh... (read in full...)
He likes to tease me in front of others. What can I try to get him to stop doing this?
Q. I'm a 27 year old female, and my s/o, *P* is 28. I've been troubled by this for a while, and just tonight we got into an argument about this. Here is my problem...he likes to tease me in front of others.I feel uncomfortable about it, and almost f...
A. 25 April 2016: You need to have some retorts prepared. Don't be the butt end of his scabby jokes. You know best what kind of response you are most comfortable with. Tell him not to be an arsehole all his life - take a day off! His father produced 100 million ... (read in full...)
My friend and I have the same crush on this boy!
Q. I'm sorry if it's gonna be a long story, but I really need help and advice for this problem. To be clear, I will call my friend “A” and the boy “C”. And I will give some background for the situation first. A sit besides C now. Me and A are classm...
A. 25 April 2016: I think it is worth considering who C likes. I think he has the casting vote. He isn't a piece of merchandise to be traded.... (read in full...)
Should I accept social networking "friend" requests? What's a good way to reconnect with friends from my school days?
Q. Hi. Thank you for reading. I am asking for helpful advice . I have no friends. I still live in the same town I grew up in central London. Secondary school was a really good time for me, I had many friends. Everyday I would travel to and from sch...
A. 25 April 2016: When I was a little boy at primary school I once complained to my mother that I had no friends, fully expecting her complete sympathy. She looked down at me and said: 'Well that's your fault'.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if I offended him? What could be going on?
Q. Hi. I've had a friend for about 10 months. We see each other occasionally at events, but we live 300 miles apart. (We're older than 40.) I like him very much as a friend, but he has a best friend I met at the same time whom I am slowly building ...
A. 25 April 2016: That's very philosophical of you. I would just push it to one side for now. If he is interested he will make it known. Do you prefer him to the guy you are getting to know? Why are you conflicted?... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if I offended him? What could be going on?
Q. Hi. I've had a friend for about 10 months. We see each other occasionally at events, but we live 300 miles apart. (We're older than 40.) I like him very much as a friend, but he has a best friend I met at the same time whom I am slowly building ...
A. 23 April 2016: Yes ask him. It all sounds strange to me. Also the fact that you are so far apart doesn't bode well for anything developing. It's a long commute.... (read in full...)
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