Should I ask him if I offended him? What could be going on?
Q. Hi. I've had a friend for about 10 months. We see each other occasionally at events, but we live 300 miles apart. (We're older than 40.) I like him very much as a friend, but he has a best friend I met at the same time whom I am slowly building ...
A. 25 April 2016: That's very philosophical of you. I would just push it to one side for now. If he is interested he will make it known. Do you prefer him to the guy you are getting to know? Why are you conflicted?... (read in full...)
Are we in a serious relationship or not?
Q. I just recently made my best friend my girlfriend (we've known each other for two years) and I love her to absolute death. The problem is, we aren't in a serious relationship. She says she likes me but is not lesbian and would prefer if I was a guy. ...
A. 25 April 2016: How do you see this working long distance?... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if I offended him? What could be going on?
Q. Hi. I've had a friend for about 10 months. We see each other occasionally at events, but we live 300 miles apart. (We're older than 40.) I like him very much as a friend, but he has a best friend I met at the same time whom I am slowly building ...
A. 23 April 2016: Yes ask him. It all sounds strange to me. Also the fact that you are so far apart doesn't bode well for anything developing. It's a long commute.... (read in full...)
I need a virtual shake to get back to reality and stop chatting online with men
Q. I'm worried about some behaviours I have started to develop and want to ask advice. I've been in a happy relationship for 6 years with a kind and successful man. We moved away from our home last year for his work and I gave up my job to move. I'...
A. 23 April 2016: The answer lies in getting out of your boring existance. You have filled the vacuum with flim flam of the internet. Stop it now and find something real to do. If you have to spend time online do it to good purpose. Better still get out of the house ... (read in full...)
Are we in a serious relationship or not?
Q. I just recently made my best friend my girlfriend (we've known each other for two years) and I love her to absolute death. The problem is, we aren't in a serious relationship. She says she likes me but is not lesbian and would prefer if I was a guy. ...
A. 23 April 2016: No you aren't in a serious relationship. That is one in which people commit totally to each other. Your friend isn't doing that - and maybe doesn't want to. She has expressed a preference for men. You need to respect that.
Unrequited love is pain... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go? Where Would I fit in elsewhere?
Q. I am currently working in a small office for a small company.. very small company. I have been here for 8-9 months. I really can't stand the majority of the people here and I know that there will always be those situations in life where you have t...
A. 22 April 2016: You should always look for improvement in you position. Don't give up your current job until you have landed the next one. Employers prefer applicants who already have a job. Keep applying.... (read in full...)
How can I change my bad attitude towards other people?
Q. What is the best thing to do so I can change my attitude towards others. I have a bad attitude and this is towards anyone I have tried changing it but when I was nice and respectful others took advantage and treated me very unfair. I was ...
A. 22 April 2016: If you know how to look after yourself that's good. You need to select your targets - those who deserve taking down a peg. Don't be a bitch to everyone. That is just your insecurity. You are like a chained dog. It barks at everything because it ... (read in full...)
Do I end this friendship with my ex? I'm feeling very hurt and confused
Q. I'll start off by saving for the past 5-6 months I have been in an emotional tornado regarding my ex boyfriend. It has been hell for me, seriously. And I'm extremely confused about everything I was with my ex boyfriend for over 3 years, HE broke ...
A. 19 April 2016: Well darlin' he doesn't love you - at least not like you think you love him. And I think you have a bit of a cheek discussing his current girlfriend with him behind her back. He is wrong to do it too. Imagine how you would feel if the roles were ... (read in full...)
Should I hint to him that I want this, or should I leave in the hope that he will ask instead?
Q. I had a drunken one night stand with a guy in my first term at university and we eventually became friends with benefits. This carried on for three months, until we both developed feelings and felt the best thing to do was end things as neither ...
A. 19 April 2016: Why does it have to be him? Why can't you plan something nice for you both? This is the modern world.... (read in full...)
Should he expect me to leave skype on 24/7, so he can conact me, while he is away?
Q. My husband has gone on vacation to see his family, When he is at home with me he neglects me and is all day on Skype to his family particularly mother. And I'm not exaggerating. Mother comes first for everything. But he does not like me to see ...
A. 17 April 2016: Have you posted this question before? There was a similar one recently in which I asked if his family lived overseas which was why he needed to talk to them so much.
The trouble is that this is turning into a tit for tat situation, and neither of y... (read in full...)
Could this mean I'm not 'the one' for him?
Q. My fiance and I are getting along really well these days, however I recently keep thinking back to the first couple of months of our relationship over 3 years ago. It was very passionate and sexually charged. But my fiance at the time didn't want to ...
A. 16 April 2016: I can see this is a difficult stage for you. You are wondering whether to settle-in for the long haul, but you are worried he might bail out.
The worrying line for me was about his rationality. At the beginning of your post it sounded as if you were... (read in full...)
How can I attract the right type of men to date?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm a woman with limited sexual experience but loves to show men a great time. My body count is extremely low. However I attract the wrong type of men who are over sexed, way too experienced and obviously they aim for the most ...
A. 15 April 2016: The answer is really to be yourself. The second important point is you don't have to say yes to every man who asks you out. You get to pick who you associate with. And it's not like you wear a green hat and you get a certain type of suitor, or ... (read in full...)
How soon can I bring up exclusivity?
Q. I've been dating this girl for three months after it started one night when she sent me a drunken message saying that she had fancied me for ages. I had feelings for her at this point but I didn't know what these feelings were. We've been dating for ...
A. 15 April 2016: You really can't put shackles on people. Either they want a monogamous relationship or they don't. And I don't really think you can call it dating if you haven't even had a kiss. What's the saying? Where there's a will there's a way?
Are you cert... (read in full...)
I think he is asking for too much, but he says he isn't!
Q. I've been married for six months and we've been struggling. I had never lives on my own before, so I really had no idea about all the housework that needs to be done.I've gotten a little better, but there's no pleasing my husband. I cooked and ...
A. 15 April 2016: Whoa! Time out! You've been married only six months and already you are fighting about basic things. Even though you are married you are not your husband's slave. You don't have to do anything. However you do need to come to a mutual agreement.
I... (read in full...)
While struggling with depression should I open up now, to him, and risk making things worse for me?
Q. Hi, I've realized that I might be struggling with depression and it's taking a toll on my relationship with my closest friend. He knows me better than anyone and knows that I'm upset and something is happening to me but doesn't know why, and in...
A. 14 April 2016: The more people you tell the better. I know that is counter intuitive, particularly if you are on a downward cycle. However it has numerous benefits for you. It lets people know you aren't just being difficult, and it show courage to admit to being ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right decision to give him space? because now I find he's dating someone else
Q. I'm pretty upset about a decision I made yesterday. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 6 months ago but told me he still loves me and that maybe we would get back together in the future. I respected his decision and left him alone but he wan...
A. 14 April 2016: You made the right decision. Now you know. Now you see he wanted something else. He wasn't ready for you, and he wasn't right for you.
Lick your wounds, hold you head up and move on to someone fit for you.
It is better to know sooner than later ab... (read in full...)
How should I approach my roommate to tell her that it's time for her to find a better BF?
Q. How do you tell your roommate that she just needs to move on? Sooo my roommate has broken up with a guy for 5 months who basically threw her out on Christmas but she is still pursuing him. From what she says he is awful to her and Ive heard hi...
A. 14 April 2016: Perhaps you should encourage her to write in to DC on her own behalf. If you are asked for an opinion then give it the best way you can. It is really up to her.
However, as her roommate I think it is fair to tell her that you have had enough of t... (read in full...)
What do these feelings mean? He leaves me feeling a strange sense of calmness
Q. Hello, i have a very strange problem which i would like some advice on. There is this guy i met recently. We have become fast friends even though we have only met a few times. He's sweet, charming, and we are into a lot of the same things. I am p...
A. 14 April 2016: Sip the wine, don't gulp. In other words proceed in a resolute but cautious way. This is new territory for you. You need to examine your feelings. Trust your gut, but one step at a time.
Sorry if I'm mixing my metaphors. I think you understand what... (read in full...)
BFcheated and confessed the next day. Do I cut him some slack because of his honesty?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over 4.5 years. Everything was smooth until now. My bf had gone on a vacation and had sex with some random girl. He knew he was doing the wrong thing and wasn't drunk but it still happened. He's still away but ...
A. 12 April 2016: I think you need to express your feelings honestly. Tell him it is going to take some time for you to get over this, and it may never be the same again. Tell him you need time to consider your options.
Then you should take your time, and let your... (read in full...)
When will I get a life partner
Q. MOD NOTE: Original poster, I am approving this but DC is NOT a dating site. Maybe you can get suggestions how to meet someone... now I am 36yrs almost to hit 40 I feel very sad to be single I have been so shy for many years such that its hard to ...
A. 12 April 2016: People within your church are usually very helpful in finding suitable partners, usually someone who shares your beliefs.
I think you should talk to the elders in your community and ask their help and guidance.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's great, but I'm still obsessing over my ex
Q. I just wanted some advice on my current situation. I have a boyfriend we've been together for about 8 and a half mouths. He's amazing. In my eyes he's the definition of what every guy should be and if he had been anything less I wouldn't have go...
A. 12 April 2016: I really feel sorry for you current boyfriend. I wish I could tell him to leave you until you have sorted yourself out. I also feel for your previous boyfriend.
Did you say you were stalking him and his current partner?
Whoa lady! Get a grip. Wh... (read in full...)
I like my friend but he's in a FWB relationship with another friend. Do I say anything?
Q. i have a crush on my best friends and i have been liking him for a while. the problem is that he like someone else which is one of my friends . they used to date but not anymore. i tried to tell him how i felt on valentines day, but i didn't work ...
A. 11 April 2016: I'm always in favour of telling people. One always imagines people know what you are feeling and thinking but the truth is they don't. They aren't mind readers.
So choose your moment and try to be cool. You need to ask quite early on if he woul... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to handle this ending of our relationship?
Q. I am trying to gently end a three month relationship with my 40 year old recently divorced boyfriend who has made excuses not to see me to discuss our communication problems. I am always willing to talk and I think I have gently supported him a lo...
A. 9 April 2016: Give him the last chance speech then move on. Dispose of the items as you see fit. Perhaps you could offer to mail them to him.... (read in full...)
Is there hope or is this marriage doomed???
Q. Hello, I have been with my husband for almost 7 years and we only got married in about 5 months ago. He doesn't engage in sex and shows no interest and I am always the on instigating it. He jumps when I try to touch him and he comes up with ex...
A. 8 April 2016: Some men prefer women to initiate sex. It can be due to past experiences eg the partner at the time didn't often feel like it. So, in the end, the message he got was don't bother asking because it will either be rejected, or she will act like it's a ... (read in full...)
How to cope with the fall of a 4 year relationship?
Q. I am a couple of months out of a four year relationship and struggling to cope. Unlike the end of my five year relationship before this, where I was very angry and that anger just faded into nothing- this time, I am just so sad and very disappoi...
A. 6 April 2016: Sorry to hear about your grief, because that's what it is. When a relationship ends it can be worse than a loved one dying. That's because they are still there, only not with you.
If you read up on grief counselling you will find that much of the ... (read in full...)
Used to flirt with him non-stop. Should I tell him I like him?
Q. I've used to flirt with this guy, a lot. Nonstop flirtation, texting, talking, etc...One day he asked my brother: what do you think about we as a family? I did not see that one coming, and I thought that he finally would take a step.. But ...
A. 6 April 2016: Just ask him if you can meet for a coffee and a catch-up. You can tell him you are back and ask him what's going o in his life. You will soon find out if there is any possibility of going out together.... (read in full...)
How can I make her feel more welcome and help her to enjoy life again after her woes with her ex?
Q. I have been dating this great girl for two months and falling for her. She moved here recently because her ex made her and she has a young child. Couple times a month she goes back home to see her friends and when she comes back she is depresse...
A. 6 April 2016: You can only offer your unconditional love. If she accepts it or not is up to her. In her mind she will be weighing up her future, and deciding if it includes you and your child.
Getting over a previous relationship can take a long time. Don't pres... (read in full...)
Should tell her that I am not gay?
Q. I am best friends with a girl I whom have known since I was 8 years old. The problem is that she thinks I am gay. Most people assume I am gay because I have never had a girlfriend, partly because I used to be really skinny and partly because I am ...
A. 5 April 2016: Just tell her you think you aren't gay after all because you find her really attractive. Two jobs done in one. :-)... (read in full...)
I'd like more with my "straight curious" friend
Q. Hello everybody hope all is well on your end I will start with me I don't have many friends and don't get many social encounters however recently I made friends with a boy through social media we met it was great I'm usually awkward and quite when ...
A. 4 April 2016: Stop trying to pidgin-hole your feelings. Just go with what's there.
... (read in full...)
His birth family comes before his spouse and children. It's depressing. What can I do?.
Q. What would you do if you had a husband who continuously put his family first particularly his mother, has stated to some members of his family in front of me that family comes first before a woman. Had a monthly phone contract and ran up ...
A. 4 April 2016: Are his family in a different country? Is that why the phone bill is so enormous? If that is the case then I think he wants to move back there to be with his family. It sounds like he is chronically homesick.
Please send us an update.... (read in full...)
His birth family comes before his spouse and children. It's depressing. What can I do?.
Q. What would you do if you had a husband who continuously put his family first particularly his mother, has stated to some members of his family in front of me that family comes first before a woman. Had a monthly phone contract and ran up ...
A. 2 April 2016: How bad is it? Would you be prepared to move out to get your point across? Certainly you need to separate your finances. If he has to pay for phone calls then perhaps they might be shorter.
Do you still love him or is enough enough? As Conf... (read in full...)
I need a strategy. Should I play it cool? Have I tried too hard?
Q. I asked this guy, who works in the same building as I, out and he said yes, but about 2 hours before he sort of gave me an excuse. Prior to my asking him out, we had been flirting and messaging. Most likely I have made myself too availabl...
A. 2 April 2016: Yes, drop this one back in the pond. If he hasn't the guts to go out with you, even when you made it easy for him by breaking the ice, then he's a dead fish.
As the saying goes: 'Faint heart never won fair lady'.... (read in full...)
I am scared to leave him. What do I need to consider?
Q. I'm scared to leave my husband...I know it's the right thing to do but I just don't know what will happen. I'm scared of the outcome. He's in the army to we live far away from anyone. I've got nowhere to go I have my 6 year old who has had to move ...
A. 2 April 2016: Can't your family help you out? Have you no friends? Essentially, and this is true in general, you need to be able to support yourself. Then you can the find your own place to live - no matter how small. It's ABC.
You will need a solicitor's help... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt him but we're not compatible. How do I exit this relationship?
Q. This is going to sound so bad but I really need help. There's this guy, a co-worker who came by my workplace as temporary. We got along very well and became friendly. He met my family due to his offering to help us shop for a home. My mom told me ...
A. 2 April 2016: It is best to be decisive. A short sharp dash of honesty is easier to take than a lingering betrayal. Tell him he's not the one although he is a good catch for someone. Kiss goodbye and don't look back.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my cousin's wife. What should I do? My cousin no longer trusts me
Q. Im in love with my cousins wife. Im 20 and she is in her thirties. I moved in with my cousin in September. Within a couple of months my cousins wife made a move on me when he was at work and her son was up stairs asleep i was shocked at first...
A. 2 April 2016: The only proper way through this is for you to cool your relations with her until she leaves him. That proves serious intent on her part. It proves she doesn't want to be with him anymore, and she can then fully commit to you.
You need to be care... (read in full...)
Deal breaker? Should I end my relationship with my fiance?
Q. I'm really heart broken and disappointed. I am in a LDR realtionship for 3 years and my fiancé is going to come where I live and get marry this summer. It has been an extremely difficult pat to get here. We both are divorced his wife moved to an...
A. 1 April 2016: No - I think your instinct is right. I would give yourself far longer than three months to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. THE REST OF YOUR LIFE - It sounds scary doesn't it.... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake when I decided to let him go? Broke up last night
Q. i really don't know how to express myself still i will try. Its been 2 years since i am dating my boyfriend. Both of us are in our late twenties and this is the 2nd relationship for both of us. We started dating in 2014 before that we were ...
A. 31 March 2016: Sometimes you have to let things go to get something better. You can't see what that will be but it will happen. It will take time because you need to be whole again before the magic works. Be patient. Good things are on the way in ways you can't ... (read in full...)
Help! My boss thinks I have a crush on him. How do I deal with this situation?
Q. Help! My boss thinks I have a crush/ i'm in love with him. I've been working with this guy for a little over a year, he's quite reserved and a bit shy with other people, he can be even rude sometimes, but with our team he's quite funny and niceish....
A. 31 March 2016: Why don't you just stay away from the poor guy as much as possible. Keep your conversations cool and professional - and stop with the flirting for heavens sake. He will soon get the message. You aren't a teenager. You know how to put a man off.
S... (read in full...)
Am I a woman who just can't help herself? I've fallen in love with a married man
Q. He is married, I have fallen so deeply in love with him I can't let go. My feeling is since we both can't and don't want to let go we should just ride the situation that we are in and see where it takes us. Every man who is single only wants to sl...
A. 31 March 2016: If you can't have what you want it always raises the temperature, figuratively speaking. But there are other people involved who will be hurt by your obsession. So try to do the right thing.... (read in full...)
How long its acceptable to wait, between texting episodes with my LDR? Should I wait for him to text first?
Q. Im currently seeing a guy who i go to university with, we're not in an official relationship but have agreed not to see anyone else. We're both at home at the moment as its the holidays but we live a long way from each other so haven't seen eac...
A. 31 March 2016: Make a date for your next meeting and leave it at that. You can't stoke a romance on txts, particularly with someone you hardly know.... (read in full...)
Deal breaker? Should I end my relationship with my fiance?
Q. I'm really heart broken and disappointed. I am in a LDR realtionship for 3 years and my fiancé is going to come where I live and get marry this summer. It has been an extremely difficult pat to get here. We both are divorced his wife moved to an...
A. 31 March 2016: You don't have to marry him this summer - that is unless he needs to marry to gain citizenship. If that is the case then I would say, 'On your bike chum'.
If you feel unsure then take more time. Don't feel pressured to commit to a contract ie. marr... (read in full...)
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