What's your opinion of age gaps? Does he really like me? Or does he have a different motive?
Q. Okay so first.. What's your opinion on age gaps?? What's to big of an age gap? There is a guy at my work ( I work in a factory) who works second shift while I work first. He is 12 years older than I am. When I very first started working there he...
A. 24 June 2016: I think this man is a sleaze. He has no finesse in dealing with women or romance. Asking you if you have ever been felt up is on the level of a dirty little schoolboy.
The age gap is neither here nor there except that in this case is shows how reta... (read in full...)
I probably shouldn't take him back. Is what I did to him worse than what he did to me?
Q. I was involved with my ex-boyfriend for many years we are friends first so I've known him a really long time. We know each other very very well. He had some substance abuse issues and during that time cheated on me multiple occasions. When I fi...
A. 24 June 2016: Many of us will still hold affections for past loves. I think is right to acknowledge them but it doesn't mean you have to jump back into the hole you have just climbed out of.
Put you memories in a box. A bright and unmade future awaits you.... (read in full...)
How can I stop being used by men?
Q. Ever since I turned 21 - now I am turning 30 I have always gone above and beyond for men. I would characterize myself as a young successful woman - I hold a good corporate job and two degrees and really Kee up with my appearance. Inside though I am ...
A. 20 June 2016: Practice saying no. It is as easy as that. You need to make a start somewhere. Taking control and making a decision is the most empowering thing. If someone says eat this burger, and you want a salad it is all right to say no thanks I know what I ... (read in full...)
His kiss has upset my calm
Q. I have a bf of over a year however recently something happened with a work colleague. The guy from work kissed me after a night out but now has said we can't talk outside of work anymore as his gf thinks there is something between us. I'm feeli...
A. 19 June 2016: Auntie BimBim is right. I kiss has got your passions and your imagination fired up, but the reality is it isn't going anywhere.
What it might become is just in your head. Bring it back in proportion. Decide if you want to move on from your curr... (read in full...)
Am I more than a close friend to him?
Q. I have a male friend but I don't know if he sees me as more? So far he has told me deep trauma from his past, he has went out of his way to introduce me to his mother, his sister and his cousin etc. He has hugged me, given me support when I needed ...
A. 19 June 2016: When he is next close have you tried kissing him with a bit more passion and see what the effect is? If he draws back then there is little harm done by one kiss. If on the other hand his pupils dilate and he looks like he might want to do it again ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my insecurities that are driving me nuts ?
Q. Hi, Thank you for reading... I am so insecure, I don't understand why. I've been dating this guy for about 9 months. Our families have met, he lied to me and told me that I was the first one that he had introduced to his family and later h...
A. 18 June 2016: This is something you need to have a heart to heart conversation with your boyfriend. You need to explain that he has to wipe the slate clean of the past and come to you with out any attachments to former loves.
If he loves you he will do it with... (read in full...)
Will I risk our friendship if I ask her out?
Q. The guys at work wind me up, as I like this girl. And she has ultimately won me over. When I see her I say hello, she asks if I'm alright and then I gave her an answer back and then I'll ask her. After I left this guy said good stuff, really loudly ...
A. 17 June 2016: Quae dant, quaeque negant, guadent tamen esse rogatae.
(Whether they give or refuse women are glad to have been asked.)
Ovid.
... (read in full...)
If he has a girlfriend then why is he around me?
Q. Hello, I have been talking to this boy for 3 years on and off and in the mean time we have both had partners. We first started talking at the start of college and it's normal for us to talk all day, everyday. I have met him twice and kissed him both ...
A. 15 June 2016: Yes give it up. He has you on a string. You don't seem to be getting much out of it. If it's commitment you want then you aren't getting it from him are you.... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I'm interested in a casual relationship with no sex?
Q. First things first, I must establish that I'm interested in getting married in the next 4-5 years, but I'm currently busy on placement in another state. I will eventually have to return either to my home state or move to another country for work, ...
A. 15 June 2016: First I would say if you don't want a romantic attachment with the possibility of sex, then stop flirting. That's just being a tease.
Second, in my experience you don't turn love on or off like a tap. If it hits you then that's natural and ther... (read in full...)
He says I bring out his silly side. Why is he behaving this way around me?
Q. My boyfriend and I laugh a lot together and share the same sense of humour. Yesterday he told me I bring out the silly side in him and that he is never this silly around anyone else. I am wondering if you think that's a good thing? Or not?...
A. 14 June 2016: It sounds like love.... (read in full...)
I am going through hell with my 15 year old!
Q. Not sure if this is the right place for this question I am currently going threw hell with my 15 year old daughter, she's my 4 th and youngest child. She's in with the wrong crowd and whilst not involved in drugs or drinks... She's involve...
A. 14 June 2016: You can talk to counsellors free online about this at Relate.
http://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-family-life-and-parenting/parenting-teenagers?gclid=COGLgvCIp80CFdUW0wodGg8OTQ... (read in full...)
Group sex with boyfriend, his room mate and room mate's girlfriend! I loved it!
Q. I'm 23 and have had boyfriends all through high school I've never thought about another girl in a sexual way. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were drinking with his roommate and the roomates gf when they dared us to kiss. After more drinks we ...
A. 14 June 2016: It isn't about labels. Do what makes you happy, but stay safe.... (read in full...)
He puts his family above all else. Am I wrong to be feeling concerned about our future together, considering his actions?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for awhile now. There was that immediate spark and we being with him felt great and easy. He treated me better than anyone I had previously been with and made me happy. Gradually we started realizin...
A. 13 June 2016: Well, he appears to be stating quite definitely what he will, and will not do. So, the ball is in your court. Will you accept the terms or will you tell him thanks but this deal is not for me?
As far as your faith goes it is worth remembering that... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed and devastated that my husband is regularly visiting a brothel. What are my options to deal with my hurt?
Q. after 6 years of marriage I feel everything is falling apart! and I am completely devastated .. My husband is having an adultery, he is a regular brothel visitor. we got married after years of crazy deep love and commitment, now we are married for ...
A. 13 June 2016: You are right to want solid evidence. If your fears are grounded then I think you should divorce. Apart from the betrayal there are the health risks he could be bringing home. A private detective could be the answer. If there is a photograph of him ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to addresss this problem at work with Mrs XY?
Q. I've worked with my boss (a woman in her late 60's!) ever since I finished mt master's degree 6 years ago. I did a few internships for the company, worked under a contract for two years and then got a permanent appointment. I won't lie. It's a ...
A. 13 June 2016: You feel overqualified for your job. You are not in your own country and you don't use your manager's Christian name when everyone else does.
It appears your self confidence needs a boost. As far as your manager is concerned either just call her ... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex on Skype! Do you think anything serious can come out of this?
Q. Hi, iam on a dating site, I received a message from man aged 53, he was saying how he liked my profile and would like to get to know me. I checked his profile it said looking for serious relationship leading to marriage, he also said that he likes ...
A. 12 June 2016: You would have to be crazy to fall for this. Why are you even asking? Your own good sense must tell you that you would be open to exploitation. Aunty BimBim is right. Report him and find yourself a real flesh and blood date who you CAN get to know. ... (read in full...)
How can I move on from what seems to be true love?
Q. FWB with a guy who much like my boyfriend without the title (we both denied feelings for each other but i think it was clear we were very in love and also we lost our virginity to each other and were together for 2 years on-off). Two years ago he ...
A. 11 June 2016: You are a bit of a romantic and there is nothing wrong with that. However sometimes you have to put your sensible head on. Our first loves are always special. You either need to contact him and meet-up or put it all in the jar of lovely memories and ... (read in full...)
I can't believe my husband would even consider moving in with female roommates! Am I overreacting?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, My husband moved to the USA recently and got an unpaid intern position for about 6 months. At the moment he is staying with his cousin but is looking for a place for himself. Yesterday he's been telling me that he has been...
A. 9 June 2016: This is awkward to answer because it really comes down to whether you trust your husband. Your attitude might be considered a little old fashioned. However you know him better than we do so... how likely is it he will stray? All I can suggest is you ... (read in full...)
He seems to be taking it slow, but I worry he might be messing me around!
Q. Hi I this will be a pretty long winded post so please bare with me. :) I have been seeing a guy for the past 4 months now. This is the longest I have been involved with a guy since my first ever boyfriend I was with for almost 2 years. The guy ...
A. 9 June 2016: Perhaps you already realise this but it's make-your-mind-up time. If you want a serious relationship then choose one of your suitors and reel him in. If you just like them all about the same keep it light and friendly, and make it clear to them all ... (read in full...)
I still love him, but he wants out. How can I get through this challenge'
Q. Hello. My husband and I are going to get divorced, he asked for it. We are now completing the legal papers. I was really shocked when he told me that he cant live with me anymore and that I cant give him what he wants... We had a lot of financial...
A. 8 June 2016: I so sorry to hear of the hurt you are going through. We have a saying in UK, 'When money flies out the window love flies out the door.'
Financial problems put an awful stress on a relationship. If you can get through this - and you can - ther... (read in full...)
He's younger than me by 4 years and in love, with me. How should I handle this situation?
Q. Hi, I have met this guy one year ago as his family and my family knows each other. He is 4yrs younger than me. Last year as our family met each other even we got to meet each and since then he got in touch with me. Even we have common friends s...
A. 8 June 2016: I think you both need a bit more time to think about this. I would tell him that you aren't ready to start going out. Keep it light and friendly.
Once you have sorted your own feelings out you can make a decision.
You might also learn somethin... (read in full...)
He's dating one of my best friends. I really like him. He keeps asking me out, and I reject him. What can I do?
Q. So I've like this boy in my year for a while now but he's going out with one of my best friends. However he is still showing signs of liking me after over two years of him liking me. All the time he asked he out I rejected him. We are now really c...
A. 7 June 2016: You should take a mature decision and ignore him until your friend breaks up with him. You might even tell your friend he has asked you out and you rejected him. She then has the decision of what to do with him. You have been honest and acted ... (read in full...)
Do I tell him I like him before he leaves? He is going away and I have a crush on him
Q. SO there is this guy that I really like. I dont really know if my affections are justified because we have only really talked a couple of times. He goes to my church. Anyways I have a crush on him. A big one. He is so handsome and sweet and la...
A. 7 June 2016: Just ask him if he would like to keep in touch. In two years a lot can happen - particularly at your age. In two year's time you will both have grown up considerably. You may have met other people you like as much, or more. However that shouldn't ... (read in full...)
Could my longstanding friend be cheating?
Q. There are times when i feel my longstanding boyfriend must be having an affair judging by his sometime cavalier attitude to mean! Then i feel emotionally exhausted and as if everything i have done has sumply been to prop anothercouple up. I would r...
A. 7 June 2016: You need to look at this objectively. Are there any real causes for you concern, or are you over-thinking everything?
You had better be careful because being hyper-jealous could achieve the thing you fear. He could get so fed up with your cons... (read in full...)
Why am I worried about this one woman in particular around my boyfriend? how can I handle my insecurities over this?
Q. So... maybe it's my fault for asking.... but.... Asked my boyfriend of 3 years if he would ^^^k this woman who runs in our social circle IF he was NOT with me. He was not too keen on answering at first but he DID say point blank "YES" if he ...
A. 7 June 2016: Well yes, it can sometime be unwise to ask. You need to look at all your good points. No really! Write them down. You are quite something aren't you? Be strong in the knowledge that you hold so many good cards.
As far as your man is concerned, if h... (read in full...)
How can I be more interesting in a relationship?
Q. hey guys so I need some advice on how to be more interesting in my relationships. i'm kind of quiet and my last boyfriend stated how I wasn't enough of a 'challenge' and he wanted someone who brought more to the table. I don't want to make t...
A. 7 June 2016: The way forward is to develop yourself. Pursue interests that appeal to you, regardless of who else likes them. If you have hobbies, activities, interests then you fill your personality, and you meet other interesting people who in turn inspire you ... (read in full...)
Mother's opinion is confusing my life
Q. In my early 20s I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. My doctor told me it was quite bad and I should be aware that my chances of conceiving are very slim. I made my peace with it and although I know there are options such as IVF and ...
A. 6 June 2016: Your mother could be right. My daughter was finally diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. She now has two beautiful children 7 and 4.
It might be worth taking further medical advice if you would like to have children.... (read in full...)
How can I best support my friend who's sister in law is causing trouble by being controlling?
Q. I need advice for my friend who has been married going on 2 years her husband s oldest sister is very controlling etc she wont give up the title of power of attorney still wonts to control his money. My friend stays stressed and worried when bil...
A. 5 June 2016: All you can really do is be a friend. The family money is on the husband's side. The power of attorney is to mind the finances of a living person who has become incapacitated. It is often a parent. You don't say who this is.
If the husband is of s... (read in full...)
Do I tell him more in the hope that we can work things out or just end this relationship?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had a break because of other things in my life not to do with him , we have only been together a few month but knew each other as friends 6 months previously , we do not live together. i told him i was having a few problems but ...
A. 5 June 2016: I would open the subject and see if he wants to know more about your difficulties. He may not have asked before for fear of prying. On the other hand he may not be bothered what is going on in your life.
A relationship is all about sharing. That... (read in full...)
How do I let others know that I'm a good friend and not snobby?
Q. Hi:) I believe I am an above average looking guy with a stable job and take good care of myself. I am very sociable with family but am quiet outside the home environment. I do not enjoy drawing attention to myself and would rather just be a part of ...
A. 28 May 2016: I think you are being too self aware. Just get on and be who you are. You don't have to put on an act for people - unless that is the problem - you are already putting on an act.
If that is the case drop it. Credit people for being able to see who ... (read in full...)
What is your story about your first boyfriend or girlfriend?
Q. Hi, I'll be 17 soon and have never had a boyfriend. Probably because I'm less confident around guys I like and I struggle with expressing my feelings in any situation. I mean I've been somewhat intimate with a guy (without going too far luckily - im ...
A. 27 May 2016: You are still growing up. Take your time. Things will happen when they are supposed to.... (read in full...)
My husband left me says he'll never come back but I still love him and am waiting for him
Q. My husband left me 3 months ago,but he is still in contact with me and give me a little money weekly. he does not show affection to me now and said he will never be back to the marital home. Should i wait and hope we can restart our relationship, i ...
A. 27 May 2016: I'm sorry to tell you this but he's gone. I know you are hoping through the grief it will all come right and it will - but not with him. Give yourself time. You need support. Perhaps Relate could help. It is worth giving them a call.
You will get ... (read in full...)
My husband made a joke about me taking our mutual friend's virginity for his birthday. Should I?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my husband are both in our early 30's and have been married for 10 years. We have a mutual friend who is about the same age as us both and is still a virgin. Recently my husband made a joke about me taking his virginity for hi...
A. 27 May 2016: To do this would alter everything in your life, There would be no going back. Assuming of course that your friend even wanted to engage, what happens afterwards? How can you go back to being friends, or are you now going to exist as a ménage a trois ... (read in full...)
How can I ask my husband to consider an open marriage? Cheating has never been a part of our relationship
Q. I’d like to discuss with my husband a possibility of an open marriage but don’t know how to do it. First of all he may think I literarily lost my mind. You see, I was always a good girl/woman, did what was expected of me, while my husband was free...
A. 26 May 2016: I think I see your problem. You aren't satisfied with what you have, but you don't want to risk losing it altogether. The only thing I can think of is to talk to your husband about open marriage in a roundabout way. In some countries like France it ... (read in full...)
I suffer social anxiety. How can I break the news to my parents that I've met a guy?
Q. Hey everyone, just looking for some advice and I guess some moral support :-) Brief background story: I've always been shy and introverted, and have been in abusive relationships in the past. After my last long term relationship I moved...
A. 26 May 2016: Well yes you are being silly about this. After all who do you most want to be with - your new partner or your mum and dad?
If you can't get the words out... If you can't find the right time to confide in one or both... Write a letter; explain ever... (read in full...)
At what age, of a particular person who has never dated, are others likely to form an opinion that the particular person is gay?
Q. I've heard a lot of people say that people close to you often guess your sexuality before you actually come out. That has got me wondering. I'm 26, I have never dated, don't talk about who I'm attracted to and have never so much as held someone'...
A. 26 May 2016: I am pretty sure that if you are homosexual you know. It seems that you haven't even been curious about sex. Perhaps you are asexual. If you are happy that way then stop worrying about it.
If on the other hand you have a secret store of porn... (read in full...)
He ignores me and treats me like I don't exist ever since we had a one night stand. How can I better handle this rejection?
Q. Hi there, I'm married with 10 childrens and had an affair with a man that has 4 Children. We go to the same church and that's where everything happened. He smiled at me all the time and then it ended up into a one night stand we met up and ha...
A. 26 May 2016: I am pretty sure you have asked this question before on DC. The answer is you have to live with it. If a man wants to be with you then nothing will stand in his way. This one doesn't. He probably wants to protect his marriage and is worried he might ... (read in full...)
My introverted daughter is in her 30s and loves animals. She hates her work and hates being single. At 71, what advice can I give her that will help her?
Q. I'm worried about my daughter. Recently she was upset about something and she blurted out that she hated being single. She is in her 30s and a highschool teacher, and she never got married but she always seemed okay with it. Recently, sh...
A. 26 May 2016: I appreciate your concern for your daughter, but you are guilty of some wrong thinking. She is only 30. There is time for her to build a couple more careers if she wants to.
It sounds like the teaching job has caused her to burn out. It happens a lo... (read in full...)
How do I keep a healthy balanced perspective on my finances?
Q. Sorry, this isn't really a relationship question, but it's really weighing on me. I'm fairly young (or maybe 30 isn't considered that young anymore), I have no debt and as of a couple months ago had low 6 figures of savings. With all that said, I...
A. 25 May 2016: There are several questions I see in here. About the worry you are carrying and fantasising over failure, that's normal. They say no-one got rich working for other people. It may be true. Your pre-frontal lobes of your brain are trying to protect ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him about my concerns?
Q. Hi again, so I am trying really hard to stay in my marriage but some things need to change in order for that to be possible. I need to talk to my husband.... But I don't know how to do it, if I talk to him about anything serious he shuts down and ...
A. 24 May 2016: It is extremely rare that I recommend anything like this, but I think you will be doing him a favour by leaving him. If you are unsure if you want to make it permanent you could make it a separation. Just don't go back to him until he has learned ... (read in full...)
I like him and don't know what to do
Q. So for this I'm going to use the letters K and W. Alright so I've liked this guy, W, since freshman year (of high school) he's a grade above me but he's also one of my really good friends. Well W also had a huge crush on my best friend. So while I ...
A. 23 May 2016: You need to play the long game. Eventually he'll come around to you. Just always be there. If you want to, set a time limit. You might say a year. If he hasn't twigged you are his main admirer by that time you will probably have got tired of him ... (read in full...)
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