A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now... 3 of those we were saving up to buy a house. Well really he was the one doing the saving, as he served in the military and I was a University student on a tight budget. After finishing uni he wanted to buy a house with me, (that had pretty much been the plan all along). When we tried to get a mortgage however, despite me having a good job my credit rating was too low to pass. When my credit rating then went to assessors and passed, the house buyer dropped out. When we found another house, my credit rating failed again (no debt but just bring careless in my teen years). We had the option to go to assessors again or to just buy the house in my boyfriend's name (but it would still be 'our' house and we would contribute equally). Well we've been living together for a year now, it took us about 6 months to renovate the house as it had been in a bad condition. I contribute equally but everything is in his name, even our savings. I can't help but worry about my financial security, though I trust him very much. When I bring this up, he acts like I'm nagging him.. or becomes offended sayong I don't trust him. My credit rating is now great but we can't afford to get remortgaged (he agreed to see a mortgage adviser and get the house in my name, but after our meeting we both decided we couldn't afford a spare 600.00 - he says it's pointless because it's still our house.Well I compromised and asked him to write a will (in fact the mortgage adviser herself suggested this) Because currently if anything happened his parents would get the house and I'd have to leave. Ideally he would have proposed by now, I've mentioned it once or twice and he just says it will happen one day (he wants marriage and kids, the same as me). When asking him to write a will I feel awkward because it's morbid, but anyway I got him to promise to do it after Christmas. I then asked if he would at least do it by the end of January. . He agreed. He's even had 2 days annual leave holiday (in the house, relaxing) and still hasn't done it. He plays hours of xbox a day but hasn't done the will. I know in hindsight I should have got my name on the mortgage or insisted on marriage before buying a house... I regret it now. I don't want to nag anymore... does he actually care about me? How can I 'secure' myself financially? Thanks for your help in advance, I'm sorry this took so long.
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male
reader, Been there Now over it  +, writes (31 January 2016):
You are sooooo right to be concerned about what could happen with your investment in the house should your boyfriend die. You should have a written agreement with I'm regarding the disposition of the house and any other co-owned assets in case you two separate, one of you dies or whatever.In regard to the house, there are ways other than a Will to protect yourself, at least here in the USA. Here, there are different types of property deeds. One type of deed is "joint tenants with right of survivorship." This gives you both ownership with your partner's ownership passing to you in case he should die. Check to see whether they have such a thing where you live.It is wrong on his part not to protect you both from unexpected events. Things do happen...none of us are ever certain that we will remain a couple or even live to see tomorrow.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (31 January 2016):
 A will won't secure your future because it can be changed. Marriage would give you rights but it would still be preferable for the house to be in joint names.
The alternative is to make your own money, and keep it separate. Also and maintenance costs for the home should be paid by him. He is protecting himself by putting his savings into the house. You must protect your future by saving.
You could also get a mortgage on a house and rent it out. In that way if you ever decide you don't like each other anymore you have somewhere to live.
The tax situation is getting more complicated but it isn't a second home as far as you are concerned so you should be OK.
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