I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 26 July 2012: You've only been out with her once before, right? In all likelihood, she will offer to pay for the coffee or at least go halves. It's really uncommon for women to expect the man to pay for everything in this day and age. Personally, I prefer to ... (read in full...)
How do I make my arms bigger?
Q. i need to help that what should i do for getting a big arms ? and i have been gyming for last 3 year but it doesn't work? so can anyone tell me what should i do...
A. 26 July 2012: Maybe you're not doing the right stuff at the gym? You should see a change after 3 years, though some people take a lot longer to bulk up than others, and some people aren't built to have big muscles.
Anyway, can you take advise from a personal... (read in full...)
Would it be bad of me if I went away with my friend and told my girlfriend it was a work convention?
Q. I took her away to Florida in June and we are booked to go back next summer. She is going away with her family for a week in August and i was invited but i cannot get the time off work. I was thinking about going away for a week in September with...
A. 25 July 2012: It's not bad to want to go on holiday with your friend but lying about it is bad and also plain stupid. There's no need to lie if you have no intention of cheating on her. If you don't tell her and she finds out from someone else (your friend let... (read in full...)
Would you want to know if your partner was cheating?
Q. If you were in love and in a happy relationship and you been togather for along time, If you could chose to find out for certin if you were being cheated on would you? Or would you just continue the happy relationship with out knowing for certin? ...
A. 25 July 2012: Yes I would want to know, and if there was any doubt as to my partner cheating I wouldn't cllassify it as a happy relationship. ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering how my married lover can lead a double life!
Q. This question is directed more towards the experts in the field of infidelity because I'm really curious as to how she can live with herself. What gets me is how some of her peers and co-workers perceive her to be this classy upstanding woman...
A. 24 July 2012: If you are the one she's hooking up with then you know exactly what sort of person she is and you are choosing to be in this situation with her. What sort of person are you??... (read in full...)
Should I forget my hopes and dreams for a man who might never get his act together?
Q. I am planning on going overseas in a month in order to continue my chosen career as there are no opportunities in my country at the moment. I am also going because I want to explore the world and travel. My bf is aware of my future plans but not ...
A. 23 July 2012: Of course you shouldn't give up your hopes and dreams, but what sort of a relationship is this that you haven't told him you're going in four weeks? Six years is a long time, and no matter how unambitious he is, he deserves to know what is about to ... (read in full...)
Why does sex hurt me so much?
Q. I was reading a post about a girl that wants to lose her virginity and she got a few answers saying sex shouldnt hurt. Sex often hurts me, practically every time. Im engaged, have children both vaginal births, and am in my early 20s. I have been ...
A. 23 July 2012: I agree with person12345, it sounds like it could be vaginitmus. Discuss it with your doctor and until it is more comfortable, you shouldn't feel obliged to have sex. ... (read in full...)
I think she is cheating again .....
Q. I have been with my girl for about 7 months now. She cheated on me around april of 2012 with my best friend. Now she is ating quite strange. She makes conversations short, always has to go, never tells me anything about why she had to go, stuff like ...
A. 23 July 2012: You don't have "trust issues" She cheated on you only a few months ago, with your best friend - why on earth would/ should you trust her?
She sounds toxic. Get yourself away for her pronto. You deserve so much better. Your best friend doesn't ... (read in full...)
I need to break up as painlessly as possible, he doesn't have a clue even though I've tried to give him hints!
Q. I've been seeing someone off and on for the past few months and I need to end things with him. He really likes me and, despite me trying to "clue him in" the past couple of weeks, he's not going to see the breakup coming. I'm seeing him on Thursday ...
A. 23 July 2012: You're already being thoughtful by coming on here and asking advise. You obviously don't want to hurt him. That said, you're not responsible for his happiness for ever and ever; remember, he has family and friends who he can go to for solace and he ... (read in full...)
Chief bridesmaid but I feel fat. How do I get over my confidence crisis before the wedding?
Q. I'm having a crisis of confidence at the moment. I'm chief bridesmaid at my sister's wedding in a few months and am so excited about it. I've been dieting really hard and have lost a stone but I still look so fat. The thought of the photos etc is ...
A. 23 July 2012: Join a gym and continue the dieting. To lose a stone already is excellent! Regular exercise will help speed up weight loss. Don't overdo it though. And remember, although you have a big 'part' in the wedding, you're not the main feature so don't ... (read in full...)
He is willing to give me up if I want a more secure relationship ...
Q. A person who doesn't like expectations and commitment in a relationship but tells you he is in love with you and the love is real and pure. Is this love or just playing games? I am in love with a person who tells me this and my relationship wit...
A. 22 July 2012: Reading this makes me feel sad. Almost all your paragraphs being with 'he' this and 'he' that. What about you? I can't add to what Cerberus and Bondgirl say (because their advice is excellent) but please ... take some time away from this guy, r... (read in full...)
Is my depression coming back?
Q. Dear all, I have finished university been there for 4 years and got a Masters in Engineering with a upper second class. I have a few proper close friends, male and female. I have held the same part-time job for 2 years now which supports my week...
A. 20 July 2012: Hello, Well done on getting your masters. I think that sometimes its easy to feel down after something changes in life (even a degree you couldn't wait to finish); things have changed and there are uncertainties. I finished a PhD last year and it... (read in full...)
Unprotected oral sex risky?
Q. Divorced, and having casual sex for first time in life, use condoms. Realistically, what are the chances of getting a disease from giving a man unprotected oral sex? Not swallowing. I know that HIV is difficult to pass that way. And the two ...
A. 19 July 2012: OP you don't know enough about this. Please educate yourself or you won't know what risks you are taking. For example, the herpes simplex viruses are different inasmuch as they are classified HSV1 or HSV2, but the virus doesn't differentiate. If you ... (read in full...)
I have no reason not to trust my husband but I don't!
Q. My husband always say I'm the only beautiful and attractive woman for him.He says he doesn't find any other women beautiful or attractive.In fact I can't believe him because he's a man.But when I asked my cousin,my sister,my nephew and some of my ...
A. 19 July 2012: Have you been let down by a man previously? It sounds like you have. If so, you need to appreciate that not every man is the same. Be careful not to push your husband away. It's possible that the continuous doubting could make him unhappy enough to ... (read in full...)
Holiday for possible date or romance?
Q. Is travelling perhaps a way of meeting women for possible romance? I haven't been abroad but was looking at cruises or European holidays. I haven't been on a date in my life so would find it difficult to approach someone in the first place, i am not ...
A. 19 July 2012: Hi Richard,
Yes it is a way to meet new people. But i think it's better to think of it as broadening your horizons and making new friends, and if a romance comes out of it then so much the better.
Easier said than done but you do have to put your... (read in full...)
Two questions I'd like help with please...
Q. Question 1: Why would a girl frequently ask for a guy to post photos of himself, on Facebook? Is it like, some sort of hint of secret attraction, or something? Question 2: Why would you rub your thighs around a younger man? (For simplicit...
A. 19 July 2012: 1) maybe she's interested but your photos are a bit vague so she'd like to see more before making any moves. Possibly she's trying to decide whether or not she is attracted - but be aware that regardless of the number of photos you post, she won't ... (read in full...)
I've been dating my friend for the past year but he doesn't want any of our mutual friends nor his family to know about it
Q. Dear Cupid I am been dating my friend for past 1 year, but he doesn't want any of our mutual friends to know. He hasn't introduced me to his friends or his family. Recently he asked me not to send any text messages, i usually don't send much ...
A. 17 July 2012: This doesn't really sound like dating. It sounds like him having his cake (sex) and eating it too (behaving like a single man).
Maybe you should take a step back and tell him that you want to have a break. Don't see him, don't have sex with him... (read in full...)
How do you stay friends after breaking up? Is it possible?
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 1year and 9 months, yesterday he broke up with me, we agreed to stay friends, i havent seen him since but i think that it is doable, but others say staying friends is impossible, what can i do to make it easier to stay ...
A. 17 July 2012: If you're still in love with him it will make it harder for you to get over him if you keep seeing him. At the very least you will probably need a break from one another (several weeks at least) before you can try to be friends. It's very hard, I ... (read in full...)
I am curvy and I want to lose a little weight the right way. Any tips please?
Q. I really really need to lose weight. I have big bones, but i'm curvy. So i'm not hugely out of proportion, but it definately looks like i need to lose some weight Diet is simple for me, cut down, but if you have any day to day diet or meal tips, th...
A. 17 July 2012: If we all went to our doctors when we wanted to lose a little bit of weight, there would be no appointments left for the people who actually need them! As long as you are sensible and don't try to run a marathon/ climb Mount Everest, I'm sure you'll ... (read in full...)
I am curvy and I want to lose a little weight the right way. Any tips please?
Q. I really really need to lose weight. I have big bones, but i'm curvy. So i'm not hugely out of proportion, but it definately looks like i need to lose some weight Diet is simple for me, cut down, but if you have any day to day diet or meal tips, th...
A. 17 July 2012: Exercise! You don't need equipment. You can walk/ fast walk/ jog/ run around your local park, and it's totally free. Good idea to wear your ankle weights while doing this as you'll burn more calories and tone up your legs at the same time. You c... (read in full...)
I am supposed to kiss but I don't know how!
Q. In ireland there is a type of kiss called a meet and I have been asked to meet this boy I like . The only problem is I don't no how to meet . So I'm asking how to meet do u open ur mouth before u lean in ? And do u move your lips ? ...
A. 16 July 2012: I don't know what a 'meet' kiss is, but generally with a romantic kiss you don't open your mouth beforehand. Your lips should not be firmly closed either, mind you. Start with lips closed but 'loose' and then see what feels right, e.g. open your ... (read in full...)
My ex-boyfriend is harrassing me! please help!
Q. Hey, I'm only 15 years old and my 17 year old ex- boyfriend is harrassing me. I ended the relationship just about a month ago for no mega dramatic reason but I just knew his wasnt for me, we had been together about a year and a half and now he's ...
A. 16 July 2012: You are right to ignore him. Are you on good terms with his parents? Perhaps you could have a word with his mum and explain what has been happening and how it makes you feel. She could have a word with him. If he's making derogatory comments ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont give me oral sex anymore
Q. my girlfriend and i have nearly broke up over a debate we had . i asked why she will not give me oral sex anymore and she said it was because my penis is wet from precum so its disgusting . in te past she has given me oral sex alot but now its been ...
A. 16 July 2012: If she's decided she hates it, there's not a lot you can do I'm afraid. I had an ex who was once a bit smelly down there. I didn't tell him because I didn't want to be rude (I should have told him, I know) and it really put me off for a while. Not ... (read in full...)
Was he cheating on me, or was it just a lapse in judgement?
Q. Please, any advice is so appreciated! My boyfriend and I (22 and 21) have been seeing each other for a little over a year. I am his first serious relationship. He is my second. I am a go-getter. I am very motivated in both school and work. I am a...
A. 16 July 2012: No it's not cheating, it's not a red flag and forgiveness doesn't even come into it. You had broken up with him, and made him feel like a loser; no surprise he was seeking some 'validation'. You treat him like a loser. I think you did the righ... (read in full...)
I told my fiance I wanted to break up so she took our daughter away and now I'm really depressed!
Q. hi there i am at a loss... my fiance well ex fiance now, i live with her and have a beautifull 15mnth daughter. i have not been happy in the relationship for about 6-7 months now and have been with her for 5 years, i have said that i think we shoul...
A. 15 July 2012: You only told her 6 days ago. She must be in shock. I am wondering if you told her how unhappy you were over the past 6-7 months or whether you bottled it up and then blurted out "it's over"?
She is bound to need time to get over this. You're n... (read in full...)
Fell in love while on holiday. Will he wait for me?
Q. I have just read something on here, and she was in the exact same position as I am in. I am 16, and have recently just come back from a holiday in Turkey, I fell in love over there, and I was with him every night. We have been together for about a ...
A. 15 July 2012: If you read a post from someone in the exact same position as you, did you read the replies? What were they, and did they give you any insight into your own situation? I am a bit puzzled as to why you labelled yourself vulnerable ...
As to wheth... (read in full...)
I get so emotional before my period! How do I make these mood swings go away?
Q. I am so incredibly emotional during the week before my period. I end up taking it out on my boyfriend. It's getting worse every month. I go to bed sobbing and wake up perfectly fine. I tell my boyfriend things like he doesn't think I'm good enough ...
A. 15 July 2012: Hi, I think you should go and discuss this with your family doctor. Preferably a female one. Hormones are horrible! Good luck x ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity before I turn 22 in a month's time, but I do not want my first time to be horrible.
Q. Growing up I was taught to respect women, and to never use them. As I finally turned twenty one last year I realized something very sad, that I'm the last of a kind. The 21st century dating world is very different from what I was taught to live in. ...
A. 14 July 2012: One of the most attractive men I work with is a smalller guy. He's about 5'5". He's very cute and very intelligent, and he has a twinkle in his eye. He's a charmer. I met his wife a few years ago. She's beautiful and elegant, and a little bit ... (read in full...)
What started out innocent has turned into a trouble situation with a man old enough to be my father
Q. I got myself in a unhealthy situation. - Short version: I befriended a new member of the archery range I'm at. He's in his mid fifties. He assured me all he wanted was friendship. Stupid and naive as I was I accepted this. I even accepted a job o...
A. 14 July 2012: Well done! You're a smart girl x ... (read in full...)
I am confused by my male friend
Q. Hello everyone, I am so grateful for this wonderful site and would really value your advice on a new contact I have made. I will outline my question and then maybe you well meaning folk out there can tell me if I need to be worried or not. I'm a ...
A. 14 July 2012: Life doesnt have to so complicated and dating someone certainly shouldn't be this complicated!
If it was me I'd stop contact and start looking for someone nearer to home. I know you've invested a lot of time in this guy, but why risk wasting ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend say this during sex?
Q. During sex (when we're both really into it), my boyfriend will tell me to make love to him; what should I do?...
A. 13 July 2012: Since you are already having sex when he says this, perhaps he's hinting that you take control more or show more passion, and I would guess its the former. Ask him! ... (read in full...)
Why did he meet me for coffee, if he thought I lived too far away to date?!
Q. Hello everyone, I will try and make this short, and thank you for reading. I met a guy online a few months back, (he's 42, me 46yrs) and slowly over a month we began to get to know more about each other, and we spoke a few times over the telepho...
A. 13 July 2012: I agree also. He liked you but just not enough to justify all that travelling. It's good that he was upfront about it, I think. ... (read in full...)
I am confused by my male friend
Q. Hello everyone, I am so grateful for this wonderful site and would really value your advice on a new contact I have made. I will outline my question and then maybe you well meaning folk out there can tell me if I need to be worried or not. I'm a ...
A. 12 July 2012: It is certainly sounding odd, but don't you think it might be worth asking him for his phone number and speaking to him, even meeting up with him, before writing him off? Maybe he's waiting for you to offer your phone number/ ask him for yours so as ... (read in full...)
After 1 date he decided he didn't want to see me anymore
Q. what do you think of such a person? I recently met a man who acted as if he was very much interested in me. He gave me so much attention, I was the centre of his world and he firmly believed that I was the right person for him. We talked a lot, he ...
A. 12 July 2012: I've been thinking about this, and it's really very unprofessional of this guy to use his position (a nurse in a hospital) to pick up women.
So, he's unprofessional, a toad, a user, and only interested in getting laid. As Honeypie says, you're b... (read in full...)
After 1 date he decided he didn't want to see me anymore
Q. what do you think of such a person? I recently met a man who acted as if he was very much interested in me. He gave me so much attention, I was the centre of his world and he firmly believed that I was the right person for him. We talked a lot, he ...
A. 12 July 2012: Yup, it's pretty clear what he wanted. You ask what we think of such as person.. well, I think he's a shit, a user and a waste of your time. I am scratching my head wondering why you consented to go to the hotel with him on your first date. I am... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity before I turn 22 in a month's time, but I do not want my first time to be horrible.
Q. Growing up I was taught to respect women, and to never use them. As I finally turned twenty one last year I realized something very sad, that I'm the last of a kind. The 21st century dating world is very different from what I was taught to live in. ...
A. 11 July 2012: I am not a man either but I'm still going to answer. I don't see what difference it makes whether you're 21, 22 or 29 when you lose your virginity. I really don't.
If you want to avoid it being 'horrible' then wait. Wait until you meet someone ... (read in full...)
After 1 date he decided he didn't want to see me anymore
Q. what do you think of such a person? I recently met a man who acted as if he was very much interested in me. He gave me so much attention, I was the centre of his world and he firmly believed that I was the right person for him. We talked a lot, he ...
A. 11 July 2012: You're right, he shouldn't have said all of those things to you before meeting you. He was stupid to do so. Likewise you shouldn't really have got sucked in, but hopefully you both learned a lesson for the future.
It's hard when you've got your... (read in full...)
Why do women insist on pursuing a man knowing that he's in a relationship?
Q. This question is primarily for females. Why is it when u meet someone new or connect with someone from ur past and one of u are in a relationship with someone else, WHY DO WOMEN PERSIST ON SEDUCING THE PERSON KNOWING THEIR IN A RELATIONSHIP? Is it ...
A. 11 July 2012: I certainly don't pursue attached men. No way! For one thing, if he's willing to be unfaithful to his current partner, why would he be faithful to me?
But you can't compare pursuing an attached man with burglarising a house. There must be a man... (read in full...)
Is there a way to get rid of excess fat in "private area"?
Q. Hi, I am 34 year old woman, not too fat but not too skinny either. Recently I embarked on a weight loss program and I've lost some by eating better and consistent exercise. The thing is...and I am horridly embarrassed to say this, is that...
A. 11 July 2012: Hi, well done losing the weight! Unfortunately you can't target one area to lose weight from. We have little control over the way fat is distributed on our body. I wonder if it's really fat or if it's loose skin? If you've lost a lot of weight it ... (read in full...)
Why won't she look me in the eye?
Q. What is under the surface? There is a girl that crossed my path a few months ago. She randomly got my number and started texting me. After awhile I found out she has a girl friend. We've never crossed any lines. No flirting which is odd for...
A. 11 July 2012: I was just trying to think/ explain why the girl won't look the OP in the eye - there are no accusations or judgrments from me. Just trying to answer the question! ... (read in full...)
Why won't she look me in the eye?
Q. What is under the surface? There is a girl that crossed my path a few months ago. She randomly got my number and started texting me. After awhile I found out she has a girl friend. We've never crossed any lines. No flirting which is odd for...
A. 11 July 2012: You and the girl are flirting by way of text messages. You may not consider it flirting but the other girl does, she feels it's wrong and that's why she can't look you in the eye; she's afraid of it escalating. There are feelings between the pair of ... (read in full...)
What started out innocent has turned into a trouble situation with a man old enough to be my father
Q. I got myself in a unhealthy situation. - Short version: I befriended a new member of the archery range I'm at. He's in his mid fifties. He assured me all he wanted was friendship. Stupid and naive as I was I accepted this. I even accepted a job o...
A. 9 July 2012: I agree. He's still a creep, and actually admits as much. You should still be cautious when you go back to archery and you should tell management there. You have intelligence and the support of your family on your side. Not everyone is so lucky. ... (read in full...)
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