I have no peace after this relationship ended!
Q. I'm not even sure if this is a question... I just need to write this out, and maybe get some clarity... Ten years ago, when I was in high school, I was in love with someone. I hung out with her occasionally, but kinda distanced myself, because ...
A. 28 November 2012: So she has confirmed that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. Take note her use of the word 'like' rather than 'love' and continue moving on with your own life.
It really is better to have no contact with her or you'll n... (read in full...)
He cried, real tears, but guess what!
Q. Just over two months ago I left my dating site obsessed boyfriend of four years. I accepted dating sites were part of his life and always will be. He has suddenly started trying to get me back again with the same old bull shit and accused me of ...
A. 23 November 2012: What you have to do to get over it is not have any contact with him at all.
He won't leave you alone because he wants to have his cake and eat it too, and he knows that in the past you've listened to him when he's asked for a second chance (... (read in full...)
I have no peace after this relationship ended!
Q. I'm not even sure if this is a question... I just need to write this out, and maybe get some clarity... Ten years ago, when I was in high school, I was in love with someone. I hung out with her occasionally, but kinda distanced myself, because ...
A. 22 November 2012: It's normal to still be thinking of her. Try reading this link:
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/you-cant-erase-an-ex-from-your-mind-but-you-can-reduce-their-power-and-keep-pushing-forward/
You'll be ok. ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried that he's still using the website we met on to talk to others?
Q. About 3 or so months ago, I started talking to a boy on the internet (a website called Tagged) we get on really well and are the same age. We talk pretty much every night on Skype/Facebook and sometimes text eachother during the day too. And be...
A. 21 November 2012: You won't know whether or not you're wasting your time until you meet him.
You two are not in a relationship together, so I really don't think it matters that he talks to other people. He's being realistic; he knows that at the moment you're j... (read in full...)
I feel used, vulnerable, isolated and betrayed... help!!!
Q. I have recently found myself in a bizarre love quadrangle which has now left me on the verge of having no fixed home. My issue is a rather drawn out and more than likely a very naively dealt with situation my myself. I have had a number of flings s...
A. 20 November 2012: You need a good, clean break from these people. Not surprised you feel vulnerable and depressed.
For accommodation, can you not ask at University? Or just find a cheap bedsit?
You need to draw a line and clear your head.
Have a break fr... (read in full...)
Trusting him isn't easy because I'm afraid he's trying to get into my pants
Q. Just started talking to this guy approx. 2 weeks ago and after a few days we got flirty. He came home Friday for Thanksgiving break and was completely excited to meet me.. so he drove over and we hung out and kissed a bit. During that he kept ...
A. 20 November 2012: So many red flags. The ex who he is still close to, the best friend who is female and who who he has more than friendly feelings towards (otherwise why all the crabbiness?), the fast forwarding of it all, telling you he loves you after 2 weeks (!), ... (read in full...)
How can I boost my confidence and lose the nervous before this first date?
Q. Hi. I have a date this week with this drop dead gorgeous man who i met online, Im sooo nervous I'm even thinking of cancelling! I've had dates before but I am so shy its cringeworthy, i just don't have any confidence! I really like him and I would ...
A. 20 November 2012: Don't cancel!
Tell him you may be a little nervous. Its normal on first dates. I bet he feels the same by the way.
If you need a little boost to your confidence, why not go and buy yourself a new top to wear on the date, get your hair done. ... (read in full...)
I deleted my LDR guy, did I do the right thing?
Q. Well, I started to like someone long distance on skype and he used to get upset if I was not able to speak to him for a while or was too busy and seemed to care. Well recently he had been distant with me, one word answers and really cold if lucky, ...
A. 20 November 2012: Yes you were right to delete him. Don't text him. No contact is the quickest way to move on and keep your dignity.
He is dating someone so it's time to move on. Miss him, that's natural. But remind yourself that your strong feelings were not base... (read in full...)
Gained weight since being in a relationship, it affects our sex life, and really want to lose it! Any tips?
Q. Hey guys, this isn't really a dating question, but it does effect my sex life with my boyfriend. I am currently 180lbs at 5f 6 inches, and this is the heaviest I have ever been! Before I moved in with my boyfriend I was around 140/150 a...
A. 19 November 2012: It sounds as if you're doing everything right. Don't be in too much of a hurry or you'll just get run down/ exhausted and then won't be able to keep up the exercise ... slow and steady weight loss is best for long term weight loss. Good luck! ... (read in full...)
How do I get read of this "friends with benefits"?
Q. Hi! Ok I know this is gone sounds trivial but I need help with it!! I met this guy a while back we went for a few drinks and hit it off , I explained to him that I was not looking for anything serious and that what I needed at the moment was pure...
A. 19 November 2012: Just tell him the whole FWB isn't working for you. You don't need to explain any more than that. ... (read in full...)
What to do when someone likes you and is attracted to you (and you are to them) but they don't completely understand you?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month now and we like each other and he's made it quite clear he's attracted to me (and I am to him but I've made it less clear). Part of me would like to develop the relantionship into romantic direction but he ...
A. 19 November 2012: Hello,
I just want to check that you are explaining this subject to him in a clear way? Your post is far from clear, and your follow up only explains things a little more. I'm not actually sure what the whole story is, and can't really advise. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had anal with me without asking first. Should I be freaked out?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and love each other very much. We're very serious and have been making plans live together this summer. We have a great sex life-- we've very open with each other and I trust hi...
A. 18 November 2012: Cerebrus, what went on here is not comparable to what goes on between a long standing, relatively mature couple with healthy communication.
He's 34. She's 18-21 and relatively inexperienced. I'm betting she was too shocked to respond. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had anal with me without asking first. Should I be freaked out?
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and love each other very much. We're very serious and have been making plans live together this summer. We have a great sex life-- we've very open with each other and I trust hi...
A. 18 November 2012: This is really shocking. A 34 year old man (bringing up the age because he should know better!) just barging his penis in there without consent, prior discussion or preparation.
OP, if it was me I'd have either been so shocked as to say nothing ... (read in full...)
He went from wanting to date me to not wanting me at all in just a few days??
Q. I am just so confused at the moment. I met this guy a few weeks ago while at an event I was working at and he was attending. We got talking and at the end he gave me his phone number as in his words if I was interested I could contact him and he ...
A. 18 November 2012: I think he bailed out when it became too much like a relationship. He said that he's not ready to settle down. Shame he didn't think about that sooner instead of pulling the rug from under your feet. Maybe he enjoys the thrill of the chase but not ... (read in full...)
Why is he looking for so many women to date?
Q. I am very frustrated with a man I have been seeing. He's older and divorced. I can't understand how he'd text other women while being on a date with me, of course when I was looking elsewhere. When we're apart, he rarely texts me. Makes me think of ...
A. 18 November 2012: He's not emotionally available. He wants to date casually - multiple people at once. You, sadly, are just one of his many options.
You like this guy and you want to be exclusive with him by the sounds of it. You could ask him but he won't ag... (read in full...)
We broke up but agreed to be friends. I want to text him but don't know what to say.
Q. What do you text to an ex after breaking up with them, you have agreed to be friends. He has contacted me since the breakup 3 weeks ago. He contacted me after one week of the breakup asking if I wanted to go out with him and some friends.I replied ...
A. 18 November 2012: Why do you want to keep the communication going? It doesn't sound like a good idea to me, at this moment in time. It's still very early days since you split up. Keeping communisation going can stop one or both of you from moving on.
I know it'... (read in full...)
How do you go from a drug fueled intense relationship to something normal? Am I weird for still wanting my ex?
Q. My life is going a bit out of control. My ex got me into taking drugs. When we took this we had such incredible sex, sometimes for 8 hours. I'm not saying its his fault that I took them because everyone can make up their minds about taking things. I ...
A. 17 November 2012: This might help:
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/moving-on-from-disappointment-are-you-focused-on-the-person-or-on-the-bigger-picture-of-your-life/
There are loads of other articles on that site. I really recommend it.
I think you did the r... (read in full...)
Could my lecturer's behaviour be classed as unprofessional? Or is there something else I could do to address this?
Q. So let me explain I'm 18 and one of my lectures has well changed on me, he used to be alright I mean I could talk to him causually like have a laugh with him and friends. Not flirting but just talking and I could go to him for help with a subject, ...
A. 17 November 2012: He is being extremely unprofessional. He may think his tactics will spur you on (or he may not even care), but the fact is that you're thinking of dropping out. That's not good.
It's a good thing you confided in your mother, and I think you shou... (read in full...)
I've only ever had sex with prostitutes. Should I continue or try having a relationship? And should I keep my past secret?
Q. Hello, I have been using prostitutes for about 4 years. I lost my virginity to a prostitute and ever since I only had sex with "working girls". The reason I do this is that it is so much simpler than picking-up women and far more straight...
A. 17 November 2012:
You admit that you would only want someone innocent, and then you'd 'teach her'. If she started to show enthusiasm, though, she'd be labelled a 'slut'. If she didn't show enthusiasm, you'd 'get rid of her'. Do you really want to put another huma... (read in full...)
We flirt a lot but when I ask him to go out on a date he bails on me. Should I ask him out or is he playing with me?
Q. Hi I posted on to this site about a situation that has stayed the same for about a year and it is about this one boy who i have had a crush on for years now, we have both come out as he is gay and i am a bisexual. i told him that i have liked him...
A. 17 November 2012: It sounds like he's not ready for the next step when it will become physical. I don't blame him - he's young and possibly a bit confused; it must make it more complicated for him being bi versus gay. I don't think he's deliberately playing with you, ... (read in full...)
It freaks me out that my room mate sleep walks. what can I do? I also worry about his safety when he does this.
Q. I’ve problem with my friend. I've asked this on other sites already, but no one seems to take it seriously. We’re both students and we share the same dormitory room. The thing is that he’s sleepwalker. He gets up almost every night and walks ...
A. 17 November 2012: I also doubt he'll do anything dangerous while he's sleep walking (at least not to you, but he could be putting himself in danger if he jumps out of the window or something).
It's good that you're looking after him but it's affecting your sle... (read in full...)
Been depressed and felt nothing for a while now. Can anyone suggest anything that will make me feel...something?
Q. Back in February, I went to the doctors for the first time about depression. It was a huge step for me to face up to it, and I got given anti-depressants. They got increased, and I didn’t feel they were doing much good, so I made the decision to ...
A. 15 November 2012: Forgot to mention exercise. Regular exercise is really key in keeping your mood stable when you're prone to depression. You might not have the motivation right now but try to incorporate a little exercise into your daily routine, like walk to work ... (read in full...)
Been depressed and felt nothing for a while now. Can anyone suggest anything that will make me feel...something?
Q. Back in February, I went to the doctors for the first time about depression. It was a huge step for me to face up to it, and I got given anti-depressants. They got increased, and I didn’t feel they were doing much good, so I made the decision to ...
A. 15 November 2012: Hello.
It's not a jumbled mess of a question. You are describing depression.
You've worked really, really hard at trying to deal with this on your own and you must be pretty exhausted and disappointed that it hasn't worked.
Go back to y... (read in full...)
I have no peace after this relationship ended!
Q. I'm not even sure if this is a question... I just need to write this out, and maybe get some clarity... Ten years ago, when I was in high school, I was in love with someone. I hung out with her occasionally, but kinda distanced myself, because ...
A. 15 November 2012: It does suck, and nobody can explain it ... probably not even her. People change, feelings change, situations change.
The only thing I can say is that you're not alone. I don't know any adult who hasn't been heartbroken to some extent. It's mis... (read in full...)
I've only ever had sex with prostitutes. Should I continue or try having a relationship? And should I keep my past secret?
Q. Hello, I have been using prostitutes for about 4 years. I lost my virginity to a prostitute and ever since I only had sex with "working girls". The reason I do this is that it is so much simpler than picking-up women and far more straight...
A. 15 November 2012: I have a big issue with your use of the word 'sluts', OP.
You are judging women who go out and see a guy they like and (according to you) want to have sex. You go out, choose a woman you want (to pay for) and then you have sex. You are the same... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and broke up with baby's dad. He says he doesn't want me to breast feed the baby! Should I take legal advise re access? It was amicable up until this ....
Q. Im 29 weeks pregnant with my first child. Me and the babys father have separated due to him being unfaithful (not the issue here tho). We are both trying to be as involved as we can, he has been to all scans and classes and he is going to be prese...
A. 15 November 2012: Hopefully he'll calm down.
Are you OK with expressing milk so he can feed her when he has her? You can discuss the practicalities of it with your midwife, with him there if you think it appropriate. She can also explain the pros of breast f... (read in full...)
GIrls: Do you like hairy guys?
Q. Hi This question is for mostly for girls. Do you find attractive "hairy men"(hope you understand), who has hair in chest,back and legs,or maybe you will dump them.Also do you think guys with classic beard are attractive, even I think this depen...
A. 15 November 2012: Hi,
If I like a guy, I don't really care how hairy he is.
A neat beard is attractive, as is clean shaven, on the right guy.
I think some women are put off by very hairy men, but hopefully it's not that common.
I knew a guy who obsess... (read in full...)
My ex owes me money! Is it worth trying to get it back?
Q. Grrrrr, i can't believe I am yet again posting about my ex... He owes me money for a car that i sold back to him before the summer (at his request might i add) I have sent him a couple of reminder emails, but just get fobbed off each time, last ...
A. 15 November 2012: Try going to the Citizen's Advice Bureau.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index/getadvice
They will advise whether or not it's suitable to take to the Small Claims Court.
You need to try and sort it out between you first, though. If yo... (read in full...)
I have no peace after this relationship ended!
Q. I'm not even sure if this is a question... I just need to write this out, and maybe get some clarity... Ten years ago, when I was in high school, I was in love with someone. I hung out with her occasionally, but kinda distanced myself, because ...
A. 15 November 2012: At what point was she a good person? She wasn't the first time you met her, and she isn't now? Was it when you started dating after the ten year absence? People can put on their "best behaviour" but I suppose it's hard to keep that up in the long ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with this guy that is only asking to keep me happy, or date a guy and feel like I've betrayed the guy I'm seeing?
Q. I have a really sensitive issue - I've been seeing this guy that is completely commitment-phobic, he refuses to even consider dating me, but he's all over me, can't manage a single night without cuddling up in bed with me, it's not sex, it's ju...
A. 14 November 2012: Why don't you stop seeing the uncaring guy and be single, THEN look for someone else? You wouldn't be betraying anyone that way.
Just make sure you finish it with the first guy. You shouldn't have to wait for someone better to come along. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is dirty and won't take a shower for me, how can I get him to?
Q. My Boyfriend does not like to keep himself hygienically clean. He is almost a 40 year old man. His average is a shower every three days. He thinks that he is clean. It gets hard to be intimate due to his lack of cleanliness; it affects my sex life ...
A. 14 November 2012: Is he depressed? That can make someone neglect themselves.
I think if he's not depressed and there is no other medical reason, you need to put boundaries in place. You shouldn't have sex with him if it makes you feel sick. You shouldn't let him ... (read in full...)
My specialist doctor makes me feel very uncomfortable around him.
Q. I've been seeing a specialist doctor over the last couple of years about an medical problem regarding an intimate area and have to see him again in the future for check ups. I feel a bit uncomfortable around him. He stares at my lips the whole ...
A. 13 November 2012: What has your sister noticed too? That he stares at your bum and lips, or that he doesn't seem to like you? And which of the two annoys you?
These are two very different issues. I'd answer the question if I could work out what you're uncomfor... (read in full...)
How did this guy turn into such a cold, uncaring, cynical person? And what do I do? Avoid him all together? Or keep polite, abrupt messages?
Q. Where do I even start? Two and a half years ago, I met a guy through a mutual friend. He and I became good friends. A few months later, we ended up having a few dates and a few kisses over the period of about a month. This time was wonderful: he ...
A. 13 November 2012: OP, I don't think you need to explain yourself. As you say, he was originally 'dating' you as a prank to upset someone else (nice!!!!). He failed time and time again to express how he felt towards you. It's not your fault.
The thing is, I just d... (read in full...)
How did this guy turn into such a cold, uncaring, cynical person? And what do I do? Avoid him all together? Or keep polite, abrupt messages?
Q. Where do I even start? Two and a half years ago, I met a guy through a mutual friend. He and I became good friends. A few months later, we ended up having a few dates and a few kisses over the period of about a month. This time was wonderful: he ...
A. 12 November 2012: Hello
You didn't turn him into anything. You said he was already the type to not fall in love or have girlfriends. And that's what he is now ...
It's not your fault and he is not your responsibility. So don't feel guilty. You didn't even know... (read in full...)
My boyfriend proposed! During sex... Thoughts?
Q. my boyfriend proposed to me during sex. he called it making love and he asked me to marry him while his **** was inside me. i said yes but thought the whole time if he was joking and how could he ever think that this was a cool idea of proposin...
A. 12 November 2012: You didn't set your expectations too high.
Did he really plan to propose or was it spontaneous? You have not checked out the ring, but is there one? Had he gone out and bought the ring?
I would feel insecure too if there is actually no ring... (read in full...)
Any advice on where to meet guys? Tried hobbies, gym and bars with no success.
Q. I absolutely don't know where to meet guys. At work most of guys are married or involved or much older, plus it's not a good idea to date anyone from work. In Gym where I go to, there is never any interaction. I just work out there 3 times a week a...
A. 8 November 2012: Ha! I love Oldhag's last suggestion - hardware stores on a Sunday. Might have to see if that works for me....
Seriously though, are you sure you want to completely rule out online dating? If you do your research and join a decent site (usually... (read in full...)
I was my crush's first kiss but he says he doesn't even fancy me!
Q. First kisses are a big deal for everyone, right? I'm just wondering, my crush kissed me but did not fancy me, and I was his first kiss? Surely you wouldn't just kiss a random person you have no feelings for as your first kiss?...
A. 6 November 2012: How do you know he doesn't fancy you? Did you know this before the kiss and do it anyway? Or did he pretend to like you and then backed off after the kiss?
My first kiss was with my best friend who is male and gay, though he hadn't come out at t... (read in full...)
Is serial dating a bad thing to do? There's no sex involved but is it wrong?
Q. I've asked a similar question before but I think people got the wrong end of the stick! Anyway. I split up with my boyfriend of seven months about a month ago, he really didn't treat me very well and I'd just had enough of him having tantrums all of ...
A. 5 November 2012: I think it's depends on the individual. I don't feel comfortable dating more than one person at a time, but that's just me. I think it can get messy.
If you are going to do this, though, be upfront about it with the guys you are dating. If it ge... (read in full...)
Did I break some sort of rule by texting this guy? I'm at a loss and I'm so sick of feeling like I did something wrong!
Q. So, honestly I feel like this is a pretty common "problem" (not exactly a problem, but a serious self-esteem killer) between ALL women and I would like some advice. Long story short, I met a guy who was my totally type at a bar three weekends a...
A. 4 November 2012: You did nothing wrong at all. The text was fine.
It feels pretty bad to like someone more than they like you, but it really does happen to us all at some point. I've had first dates that I thought went really well but haven't led to a second d... (read in full...)
Is telling the truth one option? How do I get out of this tangled web of lies that I created? My Imaginary Gay Boyfriend is causing problems with my ex and I
Q. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Firstly let me just say that I am a really honest guy, who doesn't normally lie (truth) (Hard to believe when you hear my story). But one lie I told recently has snowballed into ...
A. 29 October 2012: Good decision. It'll be hard if your ex stops contacting you with no Joe, but it'll be better for you in the long run in terms of letting you move on.
You really do sound like a nice, clever, humorous guy (who has his moments!) and I'm sure you... (read in full...)
Help!!! I'm so unhappy with myself... how can I pull myself out of this?
Q. I'm so unhappy with myself. I'm a terrible person and have lost all the people from my life because of it. i had a best friend from 13 years who did a lot for me and gave me eveything i wanted. i betrayed him and asked him to leave when he ...
A. 28 October 2012: Sorry to read this. To take some positives from this, you've realised yourself that you have behaved in a way that upsets others (you have insight) and you're in a young age bracket (you have loads of time to work on yourself).
Have you ever bee... (read in full...)
Is telling the truth one option? How do I get out of this tangled web of lies that I created? My Imaginary Gay Boyfriend is causing problems with my ex and I
Q. Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Firstly let me just say that I am a really honest guy, who doesn't normally lie (truth) (Hard to believe when you hear my story). But one lie I told recently has snowballed into ...
A. 28 October 2012: The way you wrote this also made me laugh; you have a talent!
But you're right, it's pretty tragic. Actually at the moment, it is not quite tragic, but it will definitely cross that line if you hire someone to pose as Joe (how are you going to... (read in full...)
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