Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 21 August 2012: I think you can only go by your instincts, and you felt scared and turned off by his revelations and him asking you to reveal things. I don't blame you.
There are a lot of trolls online, and people looking for sex or sexting. I can't help but... (read in full...)
My friend wants me to have a threesome with him and his brother.
Q. Um...my friend(who I really like) wants to try and have a threesome with him, me, and his brother. I agreed but now nervous. I really like him but I don't want him to think I'm just the type whose up from anything. He told me, he wouldn't mind going ...
A. 21 August 2012: Not ready to go out with you but ready to have sex with you and his brother?! No way. Tell him you changed your mind, you're not comfortable with it. I know you say you like him, but really what's to like about someone who would come up with such a ... (read in full...)
Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 21 August 2012: Also, discussions about sexual past are for when you are face to face and considering a relationship or already in one. Though personally I am wary about discussing those thing even then - it can lead to jealousy and resentment. Certainly not to be ... (read in full...)
Too soon to share past sexual history? It scared me. Do ALL guys do this during online relationships?
Q. Is this a red flag?...I just started talking to someone I met online, and things were going great until he starts asking me about what is the most wildest and crazy thing I have done sexually. I didn't want to answer that because I feel that it ...
A. 21 August 2012: Well I don't think it's acceptable and I don't tolerate it. Discussions like that are the red flag that the guy isn't after a relationship, just sex. It's not nice but at least he's making his intentions clear right from the start so you have a ... (read in full...)
How can I get her to leave me alone?
Q. There's this woman that I work with that took a liking to me. At first she would subtly show interest by asking me how I was and if I needed anything, I could ask her. I never thought anything of it so I started to talk to her on a friendly basis ...
A. 20 August 2012: Hi,
I think you should speak to your boss and then to the woman, and then report back to the boss with how it went. I think you need to do this in case she reacts badly after your talk and tries to get revenge or something.
You could tell you... (read in full...)
Is this for real? Or is he trolling me? Am I just a push over or is he using me for sex?
Q. We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal! He texted me " would you beg to have sex with me and my friend?" So I said "no, and y...
A. 19 August 2012: You've posted about this before. Several weeks ago. Why is this still going on? Did you send that abusive message to him after reading the advise on here? - cos I'm pretty sure no one would have advised you to do that!
To answer your question... (read in full...)
Confusion whether it's an invite for a second date or not?
Q. Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on ...
A. 14 August 2012: She probably didn't put too much thought into it, just wrote the first thing that she thought of in a chatty way. She might have mentioned her yoga class or book club, but it wouldn't have meant she was inviting you to join her.
Don't read too... (read in full...)
Is it over or is he just sweating me?
Q. Dear all, Please advise. I Have had a very rocky relationship with my BF. We had an argument last week in which I told him he is selfish, which he is. Usually, when we fall out , things kinda get sorted wihtin 2 - 3 day, (it' usually me who init...
A. 13 August 2012: Hi. I really don't think that you should feel your ego has been crushed. And I suspect his ego is more bruised than yours if that's any consolation. You turned the tables on him, in a good way, and he didn't like it. You took control for a change. ... (read in full...)
Is it over or is he just sweating me?
Q. Dear all, Please advise. I Have had a very rocky relationship with my BF. We had an argument last week in which I told him he is selfish, which he is. Usually, when we fall out , things kinda get sorted wihtin 2 - 3 day, (it' usually me who init...
A. 13 August 2012: You were strong and assertive, and he didn't like it. Tough sh*t! I'm glad to hear that you are standing up for yourself, I really am. He sounds like a control freak who can't cope with a strong woman. So he is not suited to you and you are no ... (read in full...)
Confusion whether it's an invite for a second date or not?
Q. Hello i went on a date with a woman, she sent e,mail, i think date went ok . she sent, e,mail next day said , lovley day , lovley gent. next day i sent an e,mail saying i wanted to give her a kiss on the date , but i did not want too risk it on ...
A. 13 August 2012: No she's not encouraging you to meet her by chance. She said she is not interested in you romantically and it sounds like she's being friendly, mentioning a possible place for meeting people as you're single, or emphasising that she's on the look ... (read in full...)
I've never been turned down for sex in the middle of the night, I feel hurt! Am I over reacting?
Q. I'm so hurt it's unbelievable. I live with my boyfriend but went away abroad with my mum and sister for a week and got back last night. everyday we called and texted a lot, he told me all the time how he missed me and couldn't wait to see me. I've ...
A. 12 August 2012: Yes you are over reacting.
Just because he didn't want sex at 4am doesn't mean he didn't miss you or that he doesn't love you.
He didn't even have to use the "20 mile bike ride" as a reason or excuse. He demonstrated his feelings to you ... (read in full...)
I met this girl online, we were chatting every night and out of the blue she stopped showing up on skype and even stood me up when I went to visit her!
Q. About 6 months ago I met a girl online, She lives in Spain and I in Norway. We really hit it off, we have been seeing eachother for about 2-4 hours on skype every night, and eventually we start text other during the whole days also. She also decided ...
A. 11 August 2012: Great news and thanks for sharing it. :-)... (read in full...)
My cheater boyfriend doesn't trust me even I never cheat..
Q. So..I have been dating with this guy for over one and a half year. He is 30s and I'm 20s. Age is not a problem for me as I love him and used to prefer mature guys. Basically he has quite a lot of affairs - around one every three months..anyways ...
A. 10 August 2012: Hello.
I am a bit confused. Your boyfriend seems to make little secret of his affairs. This suggests you have an open relationship, but it's clear that you don't have affairs and the thought of you doing so is driving him mad. Why is it OK for him ... (read in full...)
My partner stole from my father and now my mom thinks he stole from her,I should hate him for this right?
Q. My partner admitted to taking £10 from my dads money. He said he borrowed it and was going to put it back that same night but my Dad noticed the money was missing and called me at work. My partner denied taking it at first but yesterday (3 weeks ...
A. 8 August 2012: This is all very 'Jeremy Kyle'. Lie detectors - surely no one has one of them in real life?! I am tempted to think that he's bluffing about having that done, and as Candid Candy says, how on earth can he afford it? This relationship sounds like a ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him he Isn't the father and risk losing him or keep it from him?
Q. Ok I hope this doesen't sound too shallow...I recently got pregnant with an ex who is a complete and utter ass as well as verbally abusive to me. Shortly after the break-up my best friend introduced me to a friend of her's who is the sweetest most ...
A. 7 August 2012: You can't and shouldn't try to get rid of the feelings of guilt. They are there for a reason - because what you are doing is wrong. It's wrong for him and it's also wrong for the baby on the way. It's not "somehow wrong" - it's definitely and ... (read in full...)
Are my parents right about it being to late for me to get back into sports?
Q. After watching the olympics I have felt really inspired to get back into sports! When I was younger I used to love sports that I actually was on every sports team at my school and I was really competitive, I remember every year I would always win ...
A. 7 August 2012: I think maybe your parents are trying to avoid you bring disappointed in the future, if you have a fantasy of being in the next Olympics for example. But you sound like your goals are realistic enough, and I think you should go for it! You're ... (read in full...)
Am I the one with the problem or does it sound like he's having second thoughts?
Q. I wrote a while ago about my boyfriend working in calgary and saying hed be home to stay in august but I wasn't so sure... He's not.. He's supposed to be home in december now. We are engaged now. Planning on our wedding to be next august. But the ...
A. 7 August 2012: OP, if you're so stressed and anxious that you're not able to work then you are not in a healthy state. This is undoubtably clouding your thoughts and behaviour regarding your fiancé. I think you should try to tackle your own issues, i.e. what is ... (read in full...)
Cell phone etiquette, She answers messages during intercourse!
Q. My girlfriend's idea of turning off the cell phone while having sex, is to just put it on vibrate. The noise totally takes me out of the moment and is getting extremely annoying. I ask her to please turn off the phone to allow us to have some ...
A. 7 August 2012: It's incredibly rude for her to do that. I would be livid, and like Cerberus I wouldn't carry on with the sex. Replying to text messages in the middle of sex?! It's mad. It's extremely disrespectful and downright weird.
I have a friend (platoni... (read in full...)
I found the perfect wedding dress, but it is white!
Q. Hello! I am getting married next spring. Excitment! The other day I went window shopping and I've seen the prettiest little (and very cheap) dress ever. But... it's white! I'm in my early 30s and I'm not a virgin anymore and all the people at my we...
A. 7 August 2012: Congratulations! I love what Just Gill wrote. Wear the white dress and have an amazing day x ... (read in full...)
Is he playing games with me? Likes me? Or just a guy who tells lies?
Q. There is this guy, lets say his name is john. This started the first day I moved to town he when I met him. He asked me a whole bunch of questions and told me fake stories to make him self seem really cool. He flirts with almost every girl i...
A. 6 August 2012: What were the lies/ fake stories? ... (read in full...)
Risk losing a great guy, or risk having sex with a random guy?
Q. I know this question must have been asked a thousand times before, and I also know that this is a VERY long post. However, I'm facing a very difficult choice right now, and I could use the point of view of an outsider. So, I'm a late virgin at 2...
A. 5 August 2012: Getting a healthy life doesn't include having sex with a guy, particularly a guy you don't even fancy. You will still be the same person afterwards, it won't change your life! It won't make your crush suddenly think 'OK, she's experienced now".
... (read in full...)
A misunderstanding between us has got out of control. Was it the way I acted? Or is money another issue here?
Q. I met my bf 2 days ago. As it was already evening we decided to go to a supermarket and go back home. I bought some chocolates and he just picked some $1 battery so I paid them with my things. While we were leaving he started his bike and as I wa...
A. 5 August 2012: I agree completely with Ciar. Stupid stunts like what he did can give us a fright, and I certainly lose it when I'm shocked or scared (you should hear me when I have a near miss riding my bike).
I think you wounded his pride. He already owes you... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to clear acne?
Q. I've had acne for 7 years now and it's really knocked my confidence and i've never had a boyfriend because of it. I've tried high street products such as clearasil, clean and clear, freederm and neutrogena but they haven't helped atall. I've also ...
A. 4 August 2012: For persistent acne you need something from the doctor, rather than trying the over the counter stuff. Oral contraceptive pill, oral antibiotics and topical antibiotics (cream or liquid) have all helped me at one point or other in my life. It's ... (read in full...)
Do I show my friend the proof that her boyfriend is cheating on her or not?
Q. I am in a bit of a hard situation here. I have a male friend, and I recently found out that he is on a swinger site, and is meeting random people for sex. Now what he does is his business and normally I couldn't care less, except he has a ...
A. 1 August 2012: Hi,
I agree with Cerberus that you should approach your friend about this rather than his girlfriend. You don't know what the story is behind the profile, how old it is and whether he's actively using the site (unless you've omitted this in your ... (read in full...)
I love him, but he treats me so bad.
Q. Hey everyone, so, I've got a big issue here. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now, and, I love him to pieces. But, recently, he's been treating me so horribly. Recently meaning 2 months ago he started this habit. He's just flat out an ...
A. 31 July 2012: Are you planning on meeting up with him to finish with him or to try and reconcile? If you are meeting up to finish with him, you don't need to say much. Tell him how unhappy you've been for the past 2 months and it's not working out for you. It ... (read in full...)
He's my first love. He took my virginity, and then cheated on me. Help?
Q. I’m very confused. Hurt. Scared. And i don't know what happened to my life. I need help. Summer of senior year I got a friend request from this boy that was going to one of the Universities I was going to. I left it there for like a month but when...
A. 29 July 2012: Your questions are should you stay with him, and can you still get married. Well you call your ex a monster, and quite rightly, so yes I think you should leave him. You can't forgive someone who you know to be a monster and who has caused so mu... (read in full...)
I had a period every month but dr. told me I'm 4 months pregnant! Has this happened to anyone else?
Q. Yesterday I went to my gynea and he told me I'm 4 months preg. Wat confuses me is that I've been having my periods every month and except for a growing stomach I'v had no symptom o reason to bliv m pregnant. My dr was puzzled too did sum ...
A. 29 July 2012: I don't know how 'normal' it is but I have a friend who got to 6 months before she found out she was pregnant. She was still having periods. Her baby is a heathy one year old now.
She had felt run down in the months before she found out she was ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me "boxy", I don't know what that means.
Q. This is going to sound very silly but I'm really puzzled! My boyfriend rang me when I was picking up something from a store today! I didn't have much reception so I said il call u back when I get home.. I rang him bk he didn't answer then about 10...
A. 29 July 2012: Boxey can refer to your figure, like if you don't have much of a waist and the body is more box shaped than hourglass. ... (read in full...)
He still hasn't stopped communicating with her
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for five years, about 10 months ago he became friends with a girl. I was immediately uneasy about this friendship as he was very secretive and kept everything under the table so to speak. I only ever saw her ...
A. 29 July 2012: Oh dear. Well the fact is that he's lied to you and you have evidence of cheating. I wouldn't believe what he says. You know about the phone calls, text messages and naked photos. Therefore I'd finish with him and move on if I was you. You have all ... (read in full...)
I am scared because my online friend says he is coming to take me back to the States!
Q. Dear Aunts, What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend of 3 years whom I met online decided to come meet me, when everyone in my family thinks that I shouldn't be with him. He is someone that I met on facebook. Although we don't meet on a regula...
A. 29 July 2012: How are you "stuck"? The worst that can happen is that he visits and the pair of you find that you don't get on in real life. He can still have an amazing 3 week holiday, just that you might not be a part of it. It needn't even get that far. You ... (read in full...)
I am scared because my online friend says he is coming to take me back to the States!
Q. Dear Aunts, What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend of 3 years whom I met online decided to come meet me, when everyone in my family thinks that I shouldn't be with him. He is someone that I met on facebook. Although we don't meet on a regula...
A. 29 July 2012: What do you mean, you "don't meet on a regular basis"? Have you met him at all, ever? It doesn't sound like you have.
Look, if you've been talking for years then at some point he is going to want to come and see you. Let him come and visit, a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never shows me off...
Q. my boyfriend never shows me off, the majority of people probably think hes single. his parents met me, know who i am, yet he acts single. whenever i say 'i love you' or somthin on his facebook wall, he doesnt comment, he acts like im a stalker girl. ...
A. 29 July 2012: As Aunty Bim Bim says, you need to discuss this with him. Face to face and not on a Facebook wall. ... (read in full...)
He's committed to me. FWB without the sex. So what do we have? And am I being too clingy?
Q. I have been with a guy for 5.5 years now. We are both 21 right now. we dated the first 2 years and then we broke up because of something one of my friends at the time told me he was doing. I later found out she lied. He said sorry many many man...
A. 28 July 2012: FWB without benefits is just friendship. He can be committed to being your friend and that's fine but you want him to commit to more than what it actually is. It's just friendship, and and he has every right to want to date people. He's probably ... (read in full...)
I love him, but he treats me so bad.
Q. Hey everyone, so, I've got a big issue here. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now, and, I love him to pieces. But, recently, he's been treating me so horribly. Recently meaning 2 months ago he started this habit. He's just flat out an ...
A. 28 July 2012: OP your update is really shocking. You drop in the sexual abuse like it's an aside, just another thing. That is very, very serious. Ok, we're not always in the mood but it's not OK for guy to go ahead and do it when you have said no. It's very, very ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend behave like this? He was most insistent about wanting sex.
Q. Hi, I really need to know that you think is going through my boyfriends head because this has never happened to me before in any relationship I have been in. I was getting ready to go out with a group of girlfriends one evening. About an hour bef...
A. 28 July 2012: What he did was without question, without any shadow of doubt, completely wrong. How dare he? Honestly, finish this now.... (read in full...)
Drunk I liked her, sober I don't!
Q. hello i got drunk last night and was ment to hook up with a friend we liked each other and stuff but after i was pretty drunk i just didnt like her and didnt want her and now im sober im the same she just dosnt appeal to me any more now im thinking ...
A. 28 July 2012: This is what we call "beer googles", when we think we fancy someone when we're drunk. Drinking impairs judgement so we do things we wouldn't necessarily do when sober.
Of course you'll find a person you love. But the thing is, is she going to... (read in full...)
I love him, but he treats me so bad.
Q. Hey everyone, so, I've got a big issue here. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now, and, I love him to pieces. But, recently, he's been treating me so horribly. Recently meaning 2 months ago he started this habit. He's just flat out an ...
A. 27 July 2012: What I notice from this is that you love this guy who is horrible to you and very disrespectful. He managed to be nice to you for a grand total of 12 weeks before showing his true colours. And with that in mind, you don't think the other guy is... (read in full...)
I've lost interest in a great guy because of the way he looks! Am I just scared of comittment? Or am I a shallow jerk? Or both?!
Q. I think I have lost interest in someone that I would like not to lose interest in, for shallow reasons. I'm not sure if I'm suffering from commitment phobia or if I'm just a shallow jerk, or both. I had a crush on a guy that managed a local ...
A. 27 July 2012: I'd like to say to you to give it a go and see if you can get over these things that put you off, but you've already done lots of thinking and it sounds as if you don't think you can. Look, don't give yourself a hard time over this. If you onl... (read in full...)
Could this make someone pregnant?
Q. My girlfriend touched me and then touched the outside of her underwear lightly. I had noticed some pre-ejaculate earlier that was on my underwear. She noticed that she was a bit 'wet' afterwards from herself. She did not feel any liquid from me. It ...
A. 27 July 2012: If you would like some input from a doctor, why don't you go and talk to one in real life, preferably with your girlfriend, and he/she can explain what's safe and what isn't, and advise you about birth control. ... (read in full...)
My ex is stalking me, calling me in the middle of the night and has even threatened to kill himself. What am I supposed to do?
Q. Hi I recently posted a question regarding my ex threatening to die if I did not patch up with him. When I met up with him the other day to talk things over things got so bad I told him if he meant what he said I was going to report him to the ...
A. 27 July 2012: Call the police. Stop ending mixed messages, finish the relationhip once and for all and if the stalking or threats of suicide continue then just do it. I know it's a hard thing to do but your safety is paramount. ... (read in full...)
Love, virginity, scared. How do I deal with my fears about losing my virginity with my BF?
Q. So I'm a virgin a complete utter virgin, but I think I might be too childish or I am thinking too childish about sex. My body is telling me it wants to but my head is saying different. I'm not scared of having sex, I'm just scared of what my ...
A. 27 July 2012: Leave it 3 months or 6 months. Tell your bf this is your decision for now, and you can discuss it again at that time. But for now, stop stressing, enjoy being with your bf without this stress hanging over you both. You're just not ready and that's ... (read in full...)
I can't afford to pay every time we go out. What's the best way to let her know?
Q. Hi. So I asked someone out and we had dinner and I payed, which I was happy to do. I've asked her out again for a coffee and she said yes. The thing is I just can't afford to pay for her every time we go out. I don't know if she'll be expecting me ...
A. 26 July 2012: You've only been out with her once before, right? In all likelihood, she will offer to pay for the coffee or at least go halves. It's really uncommon for women to expect the man to pay for everything in this day and age. Personally, I prefer to ... (read in full...)
I met this girl online, we were chatting every night and out of the blue she stopped showing up on skype and even stood me up when I went to visit her!
Q. About 6 months ago I met a girl online, She lives in Spain and I in Norway. We really hit it off, we have been seeing eachother for about 2-4 hours on skype every night, and eventually we start text other during the whole days also. She also decided ...
A. 11 July 2012: OP you said she lied about to you about her last name. That suggests to me that she doesn't want to be looked for or found, I'm afraid. I hope she gets in touch with you but you need to prepare for the possibility of never hearing from her again. If ... (read in full...)
I met this girl online, we were chatting every night and out of the blue she stopped showing up on skype and even stood me up when I went to visit her!
Q. About 6 months ago I met a girl online, She lives in Spain and I in Norway. We really hit it off, we have been seeing eachother for about 2-4 hours on skype every night, and eventually we start text other during the whole days also. She also decided ...
A. 10 July 2012: I think she got cold feet. It's an absolutely horrible, nasty and selfish way for her to behave and I know you must feel awful. I'm so sorry this happened.
Not every girl is like this. Not at all.
The situation makes no sense at all. No one ... (read in full...)
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