A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI need advice...i am female 30years old and when i was around 19 years old i met a young girl 15 years old in high school...we clicked and have been friends ever since. She was in a lower class than me but some how we were attracted to each other.we kept the friendship for the 2 years i was left with at school and kept in touch as i was in university. to be more precise she called me often.we call each other love hun dear ...name iti am sexually attracted to her and she is attracted to me too.She will not admit to being attracted to me, but the actions tell otherwise...time forward, i got a boyfriend..we dated for years and got heart broken ....and i was still thinking about her..she has grown into the most beautiful girl i have ever seen.we are now in heterosexual relationships and i don't expect that to change...but God i cant seem to stop thinking or even stop getting attracted to hershe knows am sexually attracted her, we have coized up together half naked in my room, talked on phone the whole night... but when i try to kiss her, she refuses...When she is far away and we are chatting and i say how i feel about her,she will not stop me from saying it..she loves to hear it...but she will not reciprocate...i have decided to stop being a friend with her and she has refused..i have kept a distance but the feelings wont go away...i am basically confusedi love my husband, and she is in love with her boyfriend...but i think about her every night am going to sleep I dont even know what to do, because obviously i cant expect her to leave the boyfriend, because a homosexual relationship in our country is illegalwhen i tell her i need to stop communicating with her, she goes madi need prayers.Even when i have stopped thinking about her, after distancing my self, i will dream about having sexual relationships with her all the time....and i hate my self the next dayShe is also a saved christian, which makes everything possible difficult....How do i stop having feeling for her, coz obviously the hope of us hooking up, are slim...as we grow older and other people come into our livesDid i mention that i think giving up our friendship is not a good thing...its hard getting genuine friends as u grow upPlus am a christian too...it makes me feel guilty feeling this way
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2015): Would you be happy if your husband maintained friendship with someone he had feelings for?
I thought not. Do the decent thing by him and cut contact with her. Friendship is a 2 way street. If you don't talk to her then there is no friendship. She can't refuse to break contact. You are the one not really seriousabout moving on.
She's known about your feelings for a log time. If she wanted it to go somewhere it would have happened already.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2015): You can't allow your feelings to remain in suspended-animation while pining over someone who will not reciprocate your feelings. That's a form of obsession.
Your friend has kept you dangling on a thread practically all your life. It's time to move forward; and just cut her loose once and for all. My advice is usually long. This is too easy.
Dump her and get on with your life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 June 2015):
 I think what is best for you is to find a source of outlet. To get your feelings out. You can not have her, you will not give up hope, and you will not end the friendship. So you will be in this situation by choice for many more years to come. My advice to you is therefor to find some means of coping with it. I suggest you write. Write a book. It helps to get the thoughts out on paper. You can write about your relationship/friendship with her, about your life, and you can use different names so no one will know it is you. But write to get the thoughts out and not just carry everything inside.
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