He says he hit me out of self defense. Should I still even be with him?
Q. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 21. 2 days ago we went to a christmas party. i got very very drunk and apparantly made a fool out of him by the way i was dancing ect..we stayed at my parents and when we got in we were arguing. I went into my room and ...
A. 8 December 2009: You ask if you should even be with him, I place my vote in the "NO" corner
No, you shouldn't so get out now!
... (read in full...)
After 24 years of marriage he now tells me he wished he'd had sex with more women! This is making me very insecure
Q. After nearly 24 years of marriage my husband, aged 51, announced to me that 'the biggest regret of his life was that he hadn't had sex with more women'. I also found out at the same time that he had lied to me about being a virgin when we met and ...
A. 8 December 2009: wooops, sounds like he just got hit by the old age bus!
A midlife crisis, I dont think his sleeping with somebody else prior to you is a big deal, also can understand him lieing about it, dont agree with it, but understand it.
Not much you ... (read in full...)
He cheated and got someone else pregnant! Help!
Q. my boyfriend of 5 years got someone else pregnant and we have a 2 year old should I stay or go?...
A. 8 December 2009: Go where, with what and to do what?
Have you an action plan, can you support yourself, have you worked out where you are going to go, have you worked out how you are going to take your, and your child's, belongings?
YOu need a plan, and even if ... (read in full...)
Masturbating in her sleep???
Q. Is it possible that my girlfriend just masturbates in her sleep? A few times now I have woken up to the my girlfriend moving her hand quickly under the covers over her vagina. She doesnt sleep fully naked. I have asked her if she was mastur...
A. 8 December 2009: Is it possible you have already asked this question, and that this is a wind up?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-thought-of-what-my-girlfriend-does-in.html
... (read in full...)
We got back together, but now my wife is acting the same way she did when we broke up
Q. Hello to everyone. I am thinking I will get the best answer from a woman, but will take advice from anyone. My situation is... About ten months ago my wife told me that she was completely unhappy and didn't want to be married anymore. I am ...
A. 8 December 2009: Ask he if she is in the marriage or not. Tell her if she wants to be married she needs to agree and work on it being a two way street. Tell her if she wants to be with her friend so much you dont have a problem carting all her clothes over there, ... (read in full...)
Why would my husband suddenly stop wanting sex?
Q. What are the reasons ,when a highly sexual husband suddenly stops wanting sex, and when he tries it he is losing his erections? I mean one day to the next... With no signs for any change. Just suddenly ,like bang. And its over. He went limp at the ...
A. 7 December 2009: From experience I would say its another woman, but that doesnt always have to be the case so, because men are big sooks and wont go to the doctor, you will just have to make an appointment for him, and take him.
Good luck with it!... (read in full...)
Why do my friends always get attention instead of me?
Q. hi aunts x, at dinner time me and my friends hang out but my friends lets call them lisa and fran always! get attention from all our male friends and it makes me feel really left out, i mean ill try to get noticed like taking my jumper off an ...
A. 7 December 2009: Leave your jumper on and stock sticking out your chest and the leaning forward stuff.
be yourself, be approachable and friendly, not over friendly, develop the knack of being able to converse on lots of different subjects, to lots of differen... (read in full...)
How can I lose weight for my wedding in March?
Q. Hello ! I was wondering if someone could get me a 11 days meal plan on calorie switching diet.I tried to go on the net ,but they just want to sell it. So I need to lose weight for my wedding in march. I appreciate any help. ...
A. 7 December 2009: I have recently lost 4 kg over about 3 months, total of 32 cms overall, 16 of those off my bust, reduce meal size, cut out high carbs, eat at least two apples a day, dont eat more than three pieces of fruit, due to the high natural sugars, up the ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me like a sister!
Q. Sorry if this is just obvious and it sounds stupid but one of my best guy friends said to me he loves me like a sister. He's said in the past once when someone went and spread a load of lies that he loved me as a friend. But now he says he loves...
A. 7 December 2009: Sisters are better than friends, they are in your life for keeps, and when you are both old, old old and one of you stops being here physically the other will hold you dear in their hearts and memories.
Far better to be a sister than a friend, ... (read in full...)
An unclosed book of love.... I need a lady's advice.
Q. I finally worked the courtage to tell her I love her and then I never heard from her ever again. It's like this book has been opened and it won't close. I've let her go but she pops up in my mind every now and then. She's the one that got away, and ...
A. 7 December 2009: well, I am sorry if this post appears dull or unconstructive but this is me, and my thoughts on your situation.
You were friends, and then, without even dating or any pre warning you up and told her you loved her. It sounds like you werent e... (read in full...)
I left him because I thought I could walk back into his life, but he's got a girlfriend!
Q. i had dated this guy for 4years for no real reason-i was young,wanted to have fun(date other guys) but didnt want to b with him while at it.so i left him and thought i could walk back into his life becos he loved me so much...its 3yrs now and am ...
A. 7 December 2009: I think the term is "stiff bikkies!"
You had him you threw him away, somebody else picked him up, dried his eyes and made him feel better.
Why would he want to take you back, three years, good heavens give it a break, before you turn into so... (read in full...)
She won't let me do anything about this guy!
Q. This guy that dated my girlfriend once won't leave her alone and she wont let me take care of the situation as the boyfriend. When I try, she calls me annoying and tells me that it would only make things worse. All I ever wanted to do was maturely ...
A. 7 December 2009: what do you do? You respect her wishes and listen to what she is saying. She says you are annoying when you try to do the big he man stuff. Listen to what she is saying, and back off.
... (read in full...)
We're not a family and I just need advice.
Q. okay wellll.......... when i was little, i lived with my nan bekoz my mum wasa single mum, my dad walked out, so my mum was tryna raise me. koz when i was living with her, she tried 3 suicidal attemps infront of my face. + i was too young to under...
A. 7 December 2009: none of this is your fault. I am glad you had the courage to tell your mother about the rape, I am equally glad she was a strong loving mother who is there for you.
You and I, we cant be sure why your mother has decided to end her marriage... (read in full...)
How do I get her to realize that I'm the right guy who can treat her the right way?
Q. Ok so here it is... I work with this girl... I've really begun to like her... she and I tend to work one double a week... And on lunch break I take her out to eat every time... We talk on lunch break about ourself and things of that nature... But we ...
A. 7 December 2009: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, and in the same way, you can show this girl as much as you want to that you are a decent guy but you cant make her your girlfriend.
... (read in full...)
We've been talking for a while and stuff and we're going to have sex. Only I'm scared.
Q. Okay I met this really great guy we've been talking for a while now and stuff and he wants to have sex. I do too but I'm really scared of how much it is going to hurt. So could u all help me understand how much it is going to hurt it would be great. ...
A. 7 December 2009: If you are scared your body is not going to cooperate at all in your plan to have sex.
And if your body is not cooperating it is going to be a lot harder and hurt more.
I think you should give up on this idea for a year or two, what ever happen... (read in full...)
I haven't been on my period for nearly 6 months now!
Q. I am 17 and i havent been on my period for nearly 6 months now. My last period was near the end of july and it is now december. I had sex in september and tried a withdrawel after the condom splitting. I have been to a clinic and took a pregnancy ...
A. 6 December 2009: Apart from echoeing caring guy's advise to go back to the Doctor, is there a chance you are starving yourself on a diet?
... (read in full...)
My mum wants my weekends!
Q. OK, so my parents hav split up. Not legally but they dont live together and dont love each other anymore. I have a girlfriend which im really seriosu about and want to be with her as much as possible. The thing is that my mum wants to see me almost ...
A. 6 December 2009: Oh, poor mum!
But we cant live our lives to suit our mothers so you need to find a compromise. Is there any way you can visit your mother during the week? Perhaps set a regular thing in place where you and your girl have dinner and watch a ... (read in full...)
I love my son, I love my ex but I have to chose between them!
Q. I had recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again after being broken up for almost a year. Things seemed to be going okay . My teenage son who has never liked him, recently did something terrible to try to cause problems for us. I won't get into ...
A. 6 December 2009: I am glad you have told us your son's age, 15 is too young to be dumped by your parent. One of the other responders has given his personal experience of sons of single mothers. My personal experience is that sons of single are very protective and ... (read in full...)
Am I being sought for emotional attention?
Q. I'm not really sure whether anyone can help me on here, but, I thought I'd give it a try. This is going to be pretty long, as it's so complicated, but I would really appreciate help. So where to start? I've known this guy, let's just call him "C",...
A. 6 December 2009: I am sorry to harp on this but rather than reading up on the illness, please phone ARAFMI and speak to somebody who aleady KNOWS what it is like to be involved with somebody sufferning that illnes.
I doubt they would recommend your becoming... (read in full...)
What should I do about by ex and my current boyfriend?
Q. please take the tme to help. Well my ex boyfriend posted this about me : 5 Months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend with whom I'd had sex with and with whom I'd been with for a year and a half. She was too jealous and too clingy, and as a...
A. 6 December 2009: eh, aged between 13 and 15 are you? Very advanced language skill for a person of your age, were you raised by your dear old granny, some of the words you use are a tad outdated!... (read in full...)
Fallen for a gay guy?
Q. im so confused. ive fallen for a really nice guy the only problem is that hes gay what the hell do i do? ...
A. 6 December 2009: all you can do is be his buddy, or, admire from afar.... (read in full...)
He has a baby and I tried to keep in touch with him, but now he wants to be friends
Q. I started talking to this guy in June 09 and he kept wanting to take it further. when he i didnt want to until july i agreed to and we spent time together. he always called me when he could since he got his phone stolen on july 4th. we spent time on ...
A. 6 December 2009: This young man has a baby he needs to take care of, he also has too many girls on a string, I think you need to just forget about him, walk away, and find somebody who is happy with just one girl.... (read in full...)
I am tempted to give hubby for his b/day the same as he gave me
Q. Hubby ignored my birthday again this year. It was Thurs. It's almost like he does it deliberately. He knows I don't want expensive gifts, he just knows I want some recognition. Well, he didn't completely ignore my birthday, he did get me a box ...
A. 6 December 2009: yes, give your husband the same treatment, in fact, wrap up the same packet of chocolate coated cherries (doesnt matter if you have already bitten into a few of them) and give him those.
As for his adult children, dont go into debt for them, es... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admits to being a massive flirt and says I just have to deal with it
Q. My bf says he is a massive flirt and I have to just deal with that? Should I have to? He's my BF!!...
A. 6 December 2009: You really don't have to do anything. You can either accept he is a flirt do nothing about it, or you can not accept it tell him you find it unacceptable, and move on out!
... (read in full...)
I was planning on asking her out one day, now I have found her number online and want to call her
Q. I'm in a real pickle here. There was a girl from work i really liked. I vowed that the day i would leave this job I would ask her out. And since she worked there for several years, I always assumed I would be the first one to leave. Problem is that ...
A. 6 December 2009: sorry, not sensis in US, regular white pages.... (read in full...)
Sweet 16 and in love with Dad's 61 yo boss
Q. hey wat up, well i'm 16 and i'm in love with my dad boss. we lived close by so we knew each other well i mean very well he would tell me about his life. We started talking more deeper and deeper and only time he told me he doesn't love his...
A. 6 December 2009: You are interested in forbidden fruits, and are lining yourself up for a lot of trouble.
And your dad, have you thought about how this could impact on your father's earning capacity if you "do anything" to be with this old man right now, if the w... (read in full...)
She is blaming me for my ISP problems
Q. my girlfriend is pissed at me and wont talk to me because i keep disconnecting because of my internet was stuffing up on msn... i was full stressign and trying to reconnect but then when i got back on she said that when i kept disconnecting she ...
A. 6 December 2009: I am happy to hear things have settled between you, and if she is asking you to forget it for now, it would seem she recognises she might have gone a tad overboard.
iinet has pretty good reputation, but even in some metro areas (according to mike ... (read in full...)
I was planning on asking her out one day, now I have found her number online and want to call her
Q. I'm in a real pickle here. There was a girl from work i really liked. I vowed that the day i would leave this job I would ask her out. And since she worked there for several years, I always assumed I would be the first one to leave. Problem is that ...
A. 6 December 2009: Did you use the regular sensis white pages to locate her number or some other site?
If her number is not listed with white pages and you phone her she may be a bit freaked out, especially in light of the fact you acted passive around her.
... (read in full...)
I want to seduce my 16 yo son's friend
Q. I am a 45 year old with 2 kids a 16 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. My son has a friend who is always at our house. He's very cute. Whenever my son isn't around we flirt with each other. Yesterday I bent down to put a pan in the cabinet and my ...
A. 6 December 2009: You are a paedophile! This is totally unacceptable behaviour!
Back off, and stop flirting with this boy. You are not only about to morally corrupt a youngster you are putting your whole family's future at risk.
Grow up and act like an adul... (read in full...)
She referred to me as a work friend, but I think she wants more!
Q. I met a woman at a work conference a few months ago. After the programming, we talked in the hotel bar for several hours before calling it a night and parting ways. Other conference attendees came and went. The discussion covered a lot of ground ...
A. 6 December 2009: I think you are just a work friend, and that is the frame of mind you need to take to the conference with you, otherwise you might embarress both of you.
Lots of exclaimation marks dont mean much!!! so I am not sure why you included that comment ... (read in full...)
I am in a legal quandary and am not sure of my rights!
Q. The father of child has custody of my child, and i get to she her every other saturday (as painful as it is to say.)well me, my other daughter and fiance have moved since that court day which was 6 days ago. He says i have to give him address even ...
A. 6 December 2009: If your child's father has custody of the child you share, then i cannot understand why you wouldnt want him to be able to contact you in the case of an emergency.
But my personal feelings aside, you need to contact your local court, the one that... (read in full...)
How do I fix my marriage ?
Q. Me and my husband just had a baby 5 weeks ago and ever since we fight and for some reason he irritates me so much he is a marine so I understand he works a lot everyday but he comes home from work and "relaxes" he doesn't help with the baby he ...
A. 6 December 2009: Your husband may not know about the effects of hormones on females, he may also be unaware of the after affects of nine months of pregnancy and then giving birth, and the affects of then having your world and your life turned upside down by this new ... (read in full...)
She is blaming me for my ISP problems
Q. my girlfriend is pissed at me and wont talk to me because i keep disconnecting because of my internet was stuffing up on msn... i was full stressign and trying to reconnect but then when i got back on she said that when i kept disconnecting she ...
A. 6 December 2009: wow, who is your internet provider, and are you out bush or city dweller. Some people who dont live in this magnificent, vast country of ours will have a problem accepting your constant disconnection problems.
If necessary contact your ISP and ... (read in full...)
Am I being sought for emotional attention?
Q. I'm not really sure whether anyone can help me on here, but, I thought I'd give it a try. This is going to be pretty long, as it's so complicated, but I would really appreciate help. So where to start? I've known this guy, let's just call him "C",...
A. 6 December 2009: I think you are lining yourself up for a lot of heartache. Before you progress much futher with this please contact the people at ARAFMI (Association Relatives and Friends of Mentally Ill) and talk to them. I know there is an association in the ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's possible that this guy might have something weird going on with the neice?
Q. My friend has been chatting online to a guy that we both know in a round about way. I know the guy's neice, and she apparently goes round to his house every single weekend. The guy is 18 years older than the neice, and my friend says that the guy ...
A. 5 December 2009: Okay, your have your age listed as 17 to 18. I am going to assume your friend is much the same age. I am further going to assume the man she likes is also much the same age group, so probably not much more than mid 20s or the fact your friend ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep trying to contact me after I deleted him?
Q. Hey Guys, I am wondering about something. A teacher and I got pretty close last year and I fell for him, he found out and he then took advantage of my feelings and wanted me for sex. This really hurt so in october I deleted him off of chat and then ...
A. 5 December 2009: You are right to not get into explainations here with this teacher. If he is emailing or texting you these requests, and not face to face, save copies.
If they persist, get somebody in authority to contact him and ask him to stop stalking... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not enough for him
Q. I've been with this guy for the past 8 months. When we first started dating he would always ask for a threesome with another girl (a complete stranger that we didn't know), but i always said no. I even threatened to leave him for the other girl IF ...
A. 5 December 2009: What you should do is stop for a minute and think.
Think about the fact you have already invested 8 months of your life into this relationship, and from the beginning he has been asking for sex acts you are not prepared to indulge in.
Think a... (read in full...)
How do I fix my marriage ?
Q. Me and my husband just had a baby 5 weeks ago and ever since we fight and for some reason he irritates me so much he is a marine so I understand he works a lot everyday but he comes home from work and "relaxes" he doesn't help with the baby he ...
A. 5 December 2009: If the baby is only 5 weeks old your hormones are still all out of whack!
Get your husband by the hand and go see your doctor, who should be able to explain to you both how to see your way though this.
Good luck with it all!... (read in full...)
Should I issue my married lover with an ultimatum?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for now a year. I am married but been seperated. It started as a fling. Then we fell in love with each other. His wife found out in May but he has continued to still see me. The thing is i am in my 40s and he is 50s ...
A. 5 December 2009: Sure issue the ultimatum, but be prepared for nothing to change.
This man has already demonstrated quite clearly he is not prepared to leave his wife, his children or his marriage for you. And why should he, you just keep on doing the same old... (read in full...)
Why is my dad acting so protective?
Q. I graduate this month and I turn 18 in July. I don't plan on staying in town when I go to college and my boyfriend doesn't want me to be alone (good thing too). So I told my father and he flipped saying "not while he [my father] is still around." ...
A. 5 December 2009: sure, he is protecting you, he doesnt want you to get into a live in situation with a boy. He wants you to see the world a little and experience all it has to offer before you settle down playing wifey poo to some pimply youth.
Your father b... (read in full...)
Mole on face pretty or ugly?
Q. well, i have a mole on my top left forehead and i feel so insecure about it. but my mum tells me it makes me look 'pretty' and il never be allowed to remove it. Are moles ugly? please help!...
A. 5 December 2009: now when I was a girl (some short time ago) facial moles were referred to as beauty spots. Marilyn Monroe (iconic sex symbol) had one as did Cindi Crawford.
Try to accept it as someting uniquly yours, because it sure aint ugly!... (read in full...)
I love my son, I love my ex but I have to chose between them!
Q. I had recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again after being broken up for almost a year. Things seemed to be going okay . My teenage son who has never liked him, recently did something terrible to try to cause problems for us. I won't get into ...
A. 5 December 2009: why is your ex your ex.
You child comes first in this situation, your ex is your ex for a reason. maybe your son saw you deal with pain and feelings of rejection, hurt etc etc, caused by your breakup with your ex, and doesnt want to see it a... (read in full...)
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